The family of God

Churches will sometimes sing "The Family of God," a great little song that reminds us that we are part of one family. Smaller churches are often referred to as family churches, partly because they are often made up of mostly a few families and because of the closeness of the people in that church. The concept of a church being a family is a good one but only if it truly is a family.

Who is welcome into your church family? Is there room for the single person or does your church emphasize family so much that the single is sometimes made to feel incomplete unless he or she marries? Is there room for the drug addict or alcoholic who is struggling with the addiction? Is there room for the person who is same-sex attracted and trying hard to understand his or her feelings? Is there room for the single parent whose every day life is often a struggle?  Is there room for those dealing with mental illness or battling other demons we know nothing about? Is there room for a person of a race different than the majority of your church?

Virtually everyone seeks intimacy in their lives. They want a place where people know their name. I've often said that the church should be like Cheers, the bar where whose theme was "Sometimes you want to go, Where everybody knows your name, And they're always glad you came." The church should be that place, but sometimes it's not.

We hear churches talk about being the friendliest church in town, but in my experience that isn't always the case. Too often, churches are friendly to those already inside, but they can be quite distant and even cold to the visitor or to those who don't seem to be like the "rest of us." People who are somehow perceived as different  can get the message that they aren't really welcomed. That should not happen.

In biblical times the Jews avoided those who were not Jews. The Temple had a Court of the Gentiles where non-Jews were free to come and do business, but they were not allowed in the Temple proper as it was reserved for Jews. In fact, there was a sign outside the Temple that warned of death to any Gentile who dared enter. Jews despised Samaritans even more than Gentiles. These half-Jew, half-Gentile people were an abomination to Jews. That is why the disciples were so shocked when they saw Jesus talking with a Samaritan women, but they were not as surprised as she was that He was willing to talk with her.

Awhile back I shared the story of my being interviewed by a pastor search committee who voiced near the end of the interview that I was the person they wanted to present to the congregation for their next pastor. That is, until I told them my daughter was married to a Black man and asked if they would be welcome to attend church there when they came to visit us. Obviously, he would not be welcome, and they told me they would be getting back to me. I never heard from them again.

To the extent that we allow anyone to be excluded from the family of God we do not understand the meaning of family. Whether it is as blatant as that pastor search committee or in more subtle ways, if we communicate to people that they are not welcome, we are not the church God called us to be. Truly welcoming people into the family doesn't mean that we agree with their choices they have made in their lives. It does mean that we care about them as people for whom Christ gave His life, just as He did for us, and that we want to share our journey with them.

The next time your church talks about being a family, be sure everyone is welcome to be a part of it.