Tearing down walls and building bridges

One of my doctoral classes was on church growth taught by Elmer Towns. One day in class he asked each student to tell the class how high the walls were around their churches from 1-10. He explained that every church has built walls, often unintentionally but sometimes on purpose, to keep out the people they do not want in their church. Each student had to give him a number. Most of us gave a number between 3-5. When we finished he told us if we wanted to grow our churches we had to remove those walls and begin to build bridges into our communities. I've never forgot that lesson.

Dr. Towns was right...every church has walls that often keep new people away from the church. Those walls may be the way we treat first-time guests. They may be in the way our church is structured. These walls could be the appearance of the church property that sends the wrong signals to observers. They could be the reputation the church has for the way it treats its pastors or members. The style of worship in the church can be a wall that keeps people out. Our traditions often becomes walls that divide "us" from "them." Frankly, anything can become a wall that excludes people.

One problem with walls is that we are often not aware they exist. We become so comfortable doing church the same way we always have that we don't notice that our traditional ways of doing things tell people they are not welcome. Having served in denominational work for 14 years I visited a lot of churches that did a very poor job welcoming guests. In fact, some were so bad that I developed a workshop on church hospitality that I presented to a number of churches. From the moment a first-time guest enters the church property that person will make a decision within 10 minutes as to whether or not they will return. They make that decision based on the walls they encounter.

It's vital that churches begin to identify any walls that exist in their churches and begin to remove them immediately. Yes, some of those walls may be sacred to some members, but if they are a barrier to people experiencing God in our churches, they need to be removed. In 1995 Bill Easum wrote a great book titled Sacred Cows Make Gourmet Burgers that addresses the need to remove some of the sacred cows found in many of our churches, and he points out how leadership can make this happen.

The cross of Jesus Christ should be the only stumbling block the unchurched should experience in any of our churches (1 Cor. 1: 23). We never compromise the gospel in order to appease others, but we do need to remove our man-made walls that keep people from hearing the good news of Jesus Christ. Instead of building walls, let's build bridges into our communities to help make it easier for others to experience what our church has to offer and the message we have to share.

The family of God

Churches will sometimes sing "The Family of God," a great little song that reminds us that we are part of one family. Smaller churches are often referred to as family churches, partly because they are often made up of mostly a few families and because of the closeness of the people in that church. The concept of a church being a family is a good one but only if it truly is a family.

Who is welcome into your church family? Is there room for the single person or does your church emphasize family so much that the single is sometimes made to feel incomplete unless he or she marries? Is there room for the drug addict or alcoholic who is struggling with the addiction? Is there room for the person who is same-sex attracted and trying hard to understand his or her feelings? Is there room for the single parent whose every day life is often a struggle?  Is there room for those dealing with mental illness or battling other demons we know nothing about? Is there room for a person of a race different than the majority of your church?

Virtually everyone seeks intimacy in their lives. They want a place where people know their name. I've often said that the church should be like Cheers, the bar where whose theme was "Sometimes you want to go, Where everybody knows your name, And they're always glad you came." The church should be that place, but sometimes it's not.

We hear churches talk about being the friendliest church in town, but in my experience that isn't always the case. Too often, churches are friendly to those already inside, but they can be quite distant and even cold to the visitor or to those who don't seem to be like the "rest of us." People who are somehow perceived as different  can get the message that they aren't really welcomed. That should not happen.

In biblical times the Jews avoided those who were not Jews. The Temple had a Court of the Gentiles where non-Jews were free to come and do business, but they were not allowed in the Temple proper as it was reserved for Jews. In fact, there was a sign outside the Temple that warned of death to any Gentile who dared enter. Jews despised Samaritans even more than Gentiles. These half-Jew, half-Gentile people were an abomination to Jews. That is why the disciples were so shocked when they saw Jesus talking with a Samaritan women, but they were not as surprised as she was that He was willing to talk with her.

Awhile back I shared the story of my being interviewed by a pastor search committee who voiced near the end of the interview that I was the person they wanted to present to the congregation for their next pastor. That is, until I told them my daughter was married to a Black man and asked if they would be welcome to attend church there when they came to visit us. Obviously, he would not be welcome, and they told me they would be getting back to me. I never heard from them again.

To the extent that we allow anyone to be excluded from the family of God we do not understand the meaning of family. Whether it is as blatant as that pastor search committee or in more subtle ways, if we communicate to people that they are not welcome, we are not the church God called us to be. Truly welcoming people into the family doesn't mean that we agree with their choices they have made in their lives. It does mean that we care about them as people for whom Christ gave His life, just as He did for us, and that we want to share our journey with them.

The next time your church talks about being a family, be sure everyone is welcome to be a part of it.

Greet your neighbor

I know I will ruffle a few feathers with this post, but I want to address something that annoys me every time I visit a church that does it. I'm talking about the time when we're told to "Greet your neighbor." For the next five, ten, or even fifteen minutes we walk around shaking hands with people we've already spoken to. Exactly what does this add to a worship service?

Studies consistently show that most church members don't enjoy it. Neither do most first-time guests. Yet, churches continue to do it. Why? So they can continue to believe they are "the friendliest church in town?" I've never felt it made a church friendly when people had to be told it's now time to be nice to one another.

In yesterday's post I mentioned the importance of having a flow to the service. This welcoming time is a major disruption to that flow. In some churches it takes forever to get everyone back to their seats.

There is no question that many churches need to improve their hospitality, but this is not the way to do it. It feels forced. I want people to speak to me because they are genuinely glad I'm there, not because it's the next item in the bulletin.

Will your church guests return?

From the moment a first-time guest to your church arrives on your property you have seven minutes to make a positive impression. That's how long it takes that person or family to decide whether or not they will return to your church. This means they will make that decision before they experience your worship service or hear the message.

In his excellent book, Fusion: Turning First-Time Guests into Fully-Engaged Members of Your Church, Nelson Searcy tells us that everything the guest experiences informs that decision. They are looking at your parking lot, your grass, and the condition of your facility as they drive into your property. The appearance of the front door speaks volumes to the first-time guest. So does such things as signage, the cleanliness of the restrooms, and the security of the child-care area.

As they encounter the greeters and others in the congregation they are looking for people who are genuinely friendly who know how to smile. Unless your front doors open directly into the sanctuary, it is helpful to escort a guest to the sanctuary rather than just point in the general direction of where they will find it.

During the service most guests want to be anonymous. I still see churches have their guests stand up and tell everyone where they are from. If you're still doing that, STOP IT! This isn't 1950 anymore. People despise that when it happens to them. They also don't want to wear a special name badge or ribbon that identifies them as guests. This is not being friendly or welcoming. It is an intrusion into their privacy. They are there to check you out, not to become a spectacle.

Studies have shown that guests also do not like the "stand and greet" time. By the way, these studies also show that a majority of church members don't like it either. As I tell people who attend one of my workshops, if you have to have a time in your program where you tell people it's now time to be nice to one another, you've got problems. "Stand and greet" times are a distraction from the worship service, people don't like them, and they need to be eliminated.

Good hospitality begins with preparation. Greeters should be trained before they are allowed to serve. An honest look at the church property needs to be done and anything that sends a message you don't want first-time guests to receive should be corrected. Sometimes all it takes is pulling some weeds or putting a coat of paint on the front door. Signs pointing to the restrooms and other areas of the church should be posted. Do everything possible to make your guests feel welcomed, and you'll start seeing more of them return.

If you've not read Searcy's book I highly recommend it. In my opinion, it is the best book on the subject of how to treat first-time guests available today.

2015-2016 bivocational ministry conferences

Seven years ago I had a sabbatical during which I talked with leaders from several denominations. I was interested in finding out what was happening with bivocational ministry. Without exception, every leader said that bivocational ministry was growing in their denominations and each of them admitted that training such leaders was a challenge. Some were more intentional than others about offering training to their bivocational leadership, but each of them admitted that more needed to be done.

For the past several years I've been privileged to have led numerous conferences and seminars for bivocational and small church leaders. Regardless of denominational affiliation, I've found that most bivocational leaders face the same challenges and the same is true of smaller churches no matter what name is above their door. It has been a joy to work with so many different denominations to help train their bivocational and small church leadership.

Requests are starting to come in now asking about my availability to lead workshops for bivocational and small church leaders in 2015, and I'm sure I'll soon start hearing from denominational leaders wanting to schedule something in 2016. If you think I might be able to help your small church leaders and the churches they service, I encourage you to contact me soon to get on my calendar.

I currently offer several seminars:

• The Healthy Small Church (This has been my most requested.)
• Bivocational Ministry for the 21st Century
• Transforming the Small Church from Maintenance-Minded to Missional
• The Healthy Pastor: Maintaining Balance in the Ministry
• Church Hospitality: A Key to Seeing Your First-Time Guests Return

In addition to these, I have developed some special presentations that met specific needs such as keynote messages. I would be glad to do that for your special needs.

If you are a denominational leader, I would be glad to talk with you about presenting one of these seminars to your small church leaders. If you are a pastor and feel that one of these would be a help to you, please forward this article to one of the leaders who could arrange for me to come to your area. Perhaps you are not part of a denomination. I would encourage you to contact other independent pastors in your area to see if they would like to host of one of these events.

In an effort to maintain balance in my own life, I only schedule a few of these events each year.  My schedule tends to fill up fairly quickly so I encourage you to contact me soon if you think I may be able to help your bivocational and small church leaders. 

What every pastor should know

Every writer comes across a book now and then that makes him or her wish they had written that book.  That's the way I feel about What Every Pastor Should Know: 101 Indispensable Rules of Thumb for Leading Your Church by Gary McIntosh and Charles Arn. Even more than wishing I had written the book, I wish the book had been available when I served as a pastor.

One of the great things about this book is that it is not necessarily one you want to sit down and read from front to back. The 101 rules of thumb are grouped together in sections which makes it a convenient guidebook. If you have a church leadership question you can turn to the chapter that covers your question and quickly get the information you need. My recommendation is that you do read the book so you'll know what's covered and so you'll begin to gather information that will help you more effectively lead your church.

For the next few days, I want to share with my readers some teasers from the book so you'll begin to see some of the material covered in this book. The authors go into much more detail about each of these issues than I will cover, but I want to simply demonstrate some of the information that pastors need to know that is discussed in the book.

Many smaller church pastors tell me they have a problem closing the back doors of their churches. They bring new people into the church, but within a matter of months these folks seem to disappear. The book explains that of all the people who drop out of church, 82 percent leave in the first year. Further research has found that many of them leave at the six-month mark and at the twelve-month mark. The authors provide some clear steps the church needs to take to ensure that their new members want to continue to be a part of the church.

The most important reason new members remain at the church is that they have made friends with people in the congregation. It is vital that newcomers have at least seven friends in the church within the first six months. Those who have two or less friends in the church are more likely to drop out at the six month mark.

I know that many smaller churches pride themselves on being the "friendliest church in town." From attending a different church nearly every week I can tell you that many are not. They may be friendly to their fellow members, but I've been in many churches in which my wife and I were totally ignored. If you are seeing a lot of people slipping out the back door there's a good chance that your church is not doing a good job of developing friendships with your newcomers.

Declining churches will only retain about 9 percent of their visitors. Growing churches will average about 21 percent retention, and those churches who make it a high priority to follow-up with their visitors will see more than 30 percent of their visitors become involved in the life of their church.

At this point, it is simple math to determine your visitor retention rate. If it's less than it should be, then you need to determine the causes for that and correct them. Again, this book will provide you with some information to help you increase those figures and close that back door.

Workshops and conferences for bivocational and small church leaders

One of the things I enjoy is leading workshops and conferences for bivocational ministers and leaders of smaller churches.  When I served as a bivocational pastor I never felt that any of the workshops I attended were developed specifically for me and the church I served.  My hope at these events was that I could learn a principle, down-size it to fit our church, and our church benefit from my effort.  Sometimes that worked, and sometimes it didn't.  When my first book was published in 2000 I began receiving invitations from various denominational leaders to speak to their small church leaders, and I always enjoy these gatherings.

It's been fascinating to see how these leaders responded to the opportunity to attend a session devoted specifically to their needs.  In some cases, very few attended the session.  In fact, at one meeting no one showed up, and the sponsors and I returned to our motel rooms early that evening.  At other times there have been large turnouts.  The most remarkable story I heard came from a group of pastors I was eating lunch with one day in the midst of a day-long conference.  They told me they had driven nine hours one way to attend the meeting!  The next year their denomination invited me to lead the same conference at a setting near where these people were from, and they were back the second year.

The thing I enjoy so much about these meetings is the opportunity to speak into the lives of those who attend.  Because I served as a bivocational pastor for 20 years I understand some of the challenges and frustrations they face.  Along with the practical material I share with them, I also offer them encouragement and affirmation.  For some of them, the latter two are the most important things they receive from these meetings.

I currently offer several workshops and conferences.  Each of them have been developed for an all-day session (six hours), a half-day session (three hours), or for a workshop (one hour).  The titles I offer are

• The Healthy Small Church  (My most requested one)
• Transforming the Small Church from Maintenance-Minded to Missional
• The Healthy Pastor: Easing the Stresses of Ministry
• Bivocational Ministry for the 21st Century
• Church Hospitality: Turning First-Time Guests into Disciples
• Coaching Bivocational Ministers for Greater Ministry Effectiveness (This is primarily for judicatory leaders who want to use coaching techniques to assist their bivocational ministers.)

Each of these are based upon some of the books I've published and contain practical ideas that small church leaders can implement in their churches.  In every session I hear repeatedly from pastors that I must have visited their churches because I've described them perfectly.  There is not a lot of theory in these sessions.  Instead we focus on real world situations and offer solutions for how to best address them.

I have led these sessions for the Southern Baptist Convention, the American Baptist Churches, the General Baptists, the Atlantic Baptist Mission, the Salvation Army, the United Methodist Church, the Church of the Nazarene, the Wesleyan Church, and at leadership conferences hosted by various universities.  If you feel that one of these sessions might be helpful to your bivocational and small church leaders, please feel free to contact me.  My 2014 calendar is filling up fast, but there are still some open dates this fall and winter, and it's not too early to be thinking about 2015.

How many doors allow people to enter your church?

During a doctoral class Elmer Towns spoke about the difference between people coming into our churches through the front door and those who would come in through the side doors.  For many years the church has invited people to attend their worship services.  This was the attractional model, and is the model for those churches who still expect people to come into their church to attend the worship service or Sunday school program.  This model was effective when the culture was more favorable towards Christianity and the church than it is today.  However, the attractional model is much less effective today.

Side-door outreach invites people to become involved in various activities your church offers.  It is a much more relational way to reach out to unchurched people in your community.  These folks are invited to participate in activities that may not be spiritual in nature, but it allows them to develop relationships with people in your congregation.  These relationships will often encourage them to begin asking questions about your faith and provides you with opportunities to share your faith with them.  

A church can have many side doors.  It might have a ministry that provides meals to needy people that may be very attractive to someone who has a passion to help the less fortunate.  Another side door might be a small affinity group that meets in a room in the church or elsewhere.  Perhaps there are some individuals who enjoy fishing and decide to meet once a week to discuss new fishing techniques and equipment.  Others who enjoy fishing can be invited to join the group.  There may be a group of people who enjoys quilting and builds a small group around that interest.  Again, non-churched people can be invited to be a part of this group.  Side door activities can be very nonthreatening and yet offer a great opportunity to reach out to unchurched people.  There really are no limits to how many side doors a church may have, and the more the merrier because it offers a church greater opportunities to connect with the people who may have faith questions.

There are some cautions about side-door ministries that a church needs to know about.  In today's culture people are suspicious of churches, and if they believe that your group only exists to add another notch on its spiritual gun they will not be part of the group.  If you have an affinity group based on a love for fishing, then you better be going fishing together.  You need a leader who has a passion for fishing and enjoys teaching others about his or her love.  You are looking to build relationships around common interests.  You will be praying that through the relationships you are creating with others that you will have the opportunity to share your faith at an appropriate time, and in the meantime you will enjoy fishing and spending time with people who enjoy fishing as much as you do.  (At the least, you might be asked why you don't fish on Sunday mornings...assuming you don't!)

People are looking for opportunities to create authentic relationships with other people who share common interests.  The key word in that sentence is "authentic." Nobody wants to be somebody's project.  Even more, people don't want to feel like they've been used.  But, when done well a side-door approach can be a very effective way to reach out to persons in your community who are not connected to any church.

Easter brings tremendous opportunities to a church

It won't surprise too many pastors and Christian leaders to be told that this Sunday is Easter.  This Sunday will probably be the largest worship attendance your church will have this year, especially if you serve in a smaller church.  Families will come home for Easter and many of them will want to attend services in the churches in which they were raised.  Some of your absentee members will find their way back to church this Sunday, and some folks from the community are likely to drop in as well.  This provides your church with a tremendous ministry opportunity if you do some things well.

Be prepared for your guests.  Print extra programs.  Have extra greeters at the entrance and even in the parking lot.  Make sure the grounds and building are spotless.  If it's bad weather have people available with umbrellas to meet people at their cars.  You may even want to consider offering valet parking especially if the weather is bad or your parking is limited.  A visitor is someone who shows up unexpectedly like a vacuum salesman.  A guest is someone you are expecting, and you should be expecting to see new people on Easter Sunday so be prepared for them.

Don't insult your guests by mentioning how you haven't seen them since Christmas.  Don't embarrass them by asking that they introduce themselves or wear name badges or ribbons or do anything that will make them stand out.  Do welcome your guests and thank them for coming to the service.  If your church has pew Bibles do print the page number of any Scriptures you will be reading in the program to make it easier for them to read along with you if they choose.  Do try to capture their names and addresses so you can do follow-up with them afterwards.  A great way to do that is to ask everyone in the congregation to fill out a name and address card so you will have a record of their attendance.  This doesn't make the guest feel conspicuous while filling out their card.

This is a Sunday to present a very simple and clear gospel message.  Easter is a time of celebration, and your message should capture that.  Jesus Christ is alive!  He wants to be Lord and Savior of every person who sits in your congregation.  He wants to provide them with forgiveness for their sins and transform them into new persons.  You should have no problem preaching a dynamic message that offers hope and salvation to all who hear it.  It is likely that some sitting in your sanctuary this Easter Sunday have never heard such a message, and you have an opportunity to plant seeds in their minds and hearts that could lead to a transformation of their lives.

Close your service with excitement and anticipation that God has spoken to people through the music, the prayers, and the message.  Send them out with God's blessings upon them.

Do not fail to follow-up with every guest in the week following Easter.  This is critical if you have any hope of them returning.  Depending on how many guests you had that Sunday you may need to ask other mature, spiritual leaders in your church to assist you in this follow-up.  You may want to physically visit some guests depending on the level of communication you've had with them, but a letter and a phone call will often suffice after their first time at your church.  Send the letter out on Monday following the service and then call them later in the week asking if they've received the letter and if they have any questions about the church.  In both contacts be sure to invite them to return the next Sunday.

Easter Sunday is often the one Sunday in the year that provides a smaller church with the greatest opportunity to touch people's lives.  If you will treat people as you would like to be treated if you visited a church for the first time you are much more likely to see them return.  This is even more likely if you have shared with them a message of hope and grace that is only available through a living Savior.

Joy and enthusiasm in church is contagious

This past Sunday I was privileged to preach in a church that I always enjoy visiting.  They have between 450-500 people attending two services and are enjoying steady growth.  The week prior to my being there the church had over 100 people at a nearby Christian youth camp several of whom made professions of faith there.  The worship services were good, the people were friendly, and they came expecting God to do something.  Dress was casual.  In fact, I received a message earlier in the week reminding me to dress casual.  So many of our churches still demand their pastor wear a suit and tie so I am always happy to preach in slacks and a polo shirt.  In some churches I feel like I am trying to penetrate a wall when I preach, but not in this church.  It does not surprise me that the pastor has served this congregation for over two decades.

I don't mean to imply there are never problems in this church.  Anytime you have more than one person in any group there are going to be disagreements, but I've watched this church over the years address them in a positive way so that they are not distracted from their mission.  As a result, this church continues to grow.  They reach young families and youth, the two groups most smaller churches struggle to reach.  At the same time they attract senior citizens to their church as well.  Why are they able to do that when so many churches cannot?

The minute you walk into the building on Sunday mornings you are met by people who obviously are glad to be there and glad you are there as well.  There is a joy and enthusiasm present in that congregation that one cannot miss.  People are smiling.  They are friendly.  There is a buzz present in the congregation that come from people talking with one another.  There are the sounds of laughter heard throughout the building.  When the service ended few people were in a hurry to leave.  When I left there were still groups of people in the sanctuary and lobby enjoying one another's company.

These are also people who are fed a diet of good theological preaching and teaching.  This church proves what numerous studies have found: you do not have to water down your preaching to attract people to your church.  In-depth Bible studies are regularly provided for the congregation, and many in the congregation take advantage of those opportunities.

Contrast that to some other churches I visit.  People sit stiffly in their pews speaking to one another in low tones, if they speak at all.  Their faces look like they've sucked on a lemon on the way to church.  There are no greeters at the entrances; only stacks of bulletins on a table or chair where the current membership knows to find them.  The worship service lacks energy, and when it ends the people quickly leave the building inspired to eat lunch.

Christians and non-Christians alike quickly notice the differences between the two churches I've described.  When people are looking for a church to attend which one do you think they will choose?  They are going to be attracted to a church whose people are excited and enthusiastic about what God is doing in and through their congregation.  They will be drawn to worshiping with people who are not afraid to laugh and who are excited to be in worship.  Joy and enthusiasm in a church is contagious, and I hope your church is infecting your guests with them each week.

The importance of church hospitality

"We are the friendliest church in town."  I can't tell you how many times I have heard that from church leaders.  In fact, it is safe to say that I have yet to be in the second most friendliest church in any community in which I've been.  At least, that the case if I believe these church leaders are telling me the truth.  But, my experience has been that really isn't the case.  Most of these churches may be friendly, but they are often only friendly to one another, not necessarily to visitors.

As a judicatory leader for our denomination I am in a different church almost every week.  It is seldom I will be in the same church more than two times in a given year, and usually it will be only once.  From my experience many churches need some serious training in the area of hospitality.  They do not know how to welcome and receive guests to their church.  These people are often ignored on the one hand or embarrassed on the other.  Either no one speaks to them at all while they are at the church or they are asked to stand up and tell everyone who they are and where they're from.  Both scenarios are terrible violations of hospitality.

Few people want to be ignored when they go somewhere new.  They want to meet the people and see if they have anything in common with them.  They want to feel welcomed.  At the same time, they want people to respect their privacy.  Few people enjoy standing up in a room of people and introducing themselves.  Many people today want to be able to attend a church service and remain somewhat private.  While they don't mind meeting people individually they are not prepared to give a public statement about their reasons for being in attendance.  Churches often complain to me that visitors seldom return to their churches, and one primary reason for that may be the way they were treated when they were there.

Being treated as a visitor is not very welcoming.  Visitors are people who are unexpected.  They drop by, but nothing was planned for them.  Everyone ends up feeling somewhat awkward.  On the other hand, guests are expected and preparations have been made for them.  People are excited to see the guests because they had invited them and made sure things would be ready for them when they came.  A leader once asked if one reason some churches didn't have more first-time guests than they do is because God knows they are not prepared to receive guests.  If a time comes when these people decide to visit a church God directs them to those churches that is prepared.  I tend to think that leader is correct.

Some of the churches I serve have recognized they need training in church hospitality so I developed a workshop on that topic which I've led for several churches and one association.  I believe hospitality is a key to reaching and keeping new people, and it's too important to not be intentional about ensuring that the church offers good hospitality to everyone who comes there for worship.

Surprisingly, I've not found a lot of books or other resources on this topic.  By far the best book I've found is Fusion: Turning First-Time Guests into Fully-Engaged Members of Your Church by Nelson Searcy.  I believe every church leader should read every book Searcy has written, but this is the first of his books I read and it remains my favorite.  The subtitle should be enough to make you want to read this book.  Isn't that what every church claims it wants to do?  We want to reach new unchurched people and lead them into a personal relationship with God, help them grow as disciples, and become active members of our churches.  This book explains step-by-step how to effectively reach out to the unchurched people in your community and how to treat them when they do come to your church as well as how to follow-up with them after they've been there.  You will be hard pressed to find any book on ministry with more practical information than you'll find in this book.   One of the things that makes the book exciting for me is that the recommendations Searcy gives can be done by churches of every size.  Your church does not have to be Willow Creek to be able to do the things he recommends.

Most people decide whether they will return to a church within a very few minutes after arriving on your church property.  It happens long before the choir ever sings or the pastor preaches.   Their decision is based on what they see and what they experience in those first few minutes.  If a church is serious about wanting to reach new people it is critical that they become very intentional about providing great hospitality to every person who comes on their property.  This book will be a valuable resource for those churches that want to improve in this area of ministry, and it can be ordered by clicking on the above title.