Ministry and suicide

I just finished reading an article about another pastor who took his life. I'm sure both his family and congregation are struggling to understand why this happened. They are probably also wondering how they missed warning signs. Over the next few months they will deal with a lot of mixed emotions while dealing with the loss of someone I'm sure they loved very much.

I never met this pastor, and, in fact, had never heard his name before reading the article. I don't know what was going on in his life, what struggles he might have had or what prompted the decision to end his life. None of us are in a position to judge his actions.

Two pastors I have known have taken their lives. One was actually a childhood friend. I do not know why either one ended their lives. No doubt they were struggling with issues that led them to that decision. I wish either one of them had talked to me about whatever their issues were.

Much has been written in recent years about the pressures of being in the ministry. Many pastors have left the ministry because of those pressures. Certainly, the ministry does involve pressure. As a pastor and a former regional minister, I have felt those pressures many times. Once, the pressure became so overwhelming that I fell into clinical depression and sought counseling to understand what was happening and how to overcome it, and I did overcome it. I also learned better coping strategies to ensure I would not experience depression again. Even in my deepest depressed state, I never considered suicide as an option. Perhaps, that was because of the support I was receiving from my family and my counselor.

To any minister, or anyone else, reading this who is thinking about taking his or her life due to the pressures of living, seek help. Tell someone what you are thinking. Call a counseling center as I did. Talk to your family doctor. Call the ER. Tell someone. I've known pastors who seriously needed to enter counseling due to depression or another mental illness who refused to do so. They didn't want to appear weak. Some have the misguided belief that seeking outside help would demonstrate a lack of faith in God. Let me be blunt: That's stupid! If you broke your leg I'm sure you would see a doctor to repair the damage. Seeing a counselor for depression or to avoid suicide is no more a lack of faith than having a doctor repair a broken leg.

Committing suicide does not relieve the pain a person is feeling. It just passes it on to others who loved that person very much. Please, talk to someone before ending your life. 

Finding a good coach

 A few years ago a UMC district asked a number of their experienced pastors to serve as coaches for their bivocational pastors. I was asked to lead a training session to address both coaching and bivocational ministry to these new coaches. I was very impressed with the district's leadership to providing this opportunity to their bivocational pastors and with the coaches willingness to add another responsibility to their busy schedules.

The business world has long known the value of providing coaches to their senior leadership. In fact, some top companies offer coaching as a perk to attract the best leaders to their organizations. The church world has been slower to see the value of coaching for pastors and denominational leaders. This is very unfortunate. I have seen first-hand the value of having a coach.

I had a ministry coach for a year who helped me through a time of confusion in my life and ministry. At the time I was uncertain whether to remain in my current ministry or go in a different direction. I was also considering pursuing my DMin and was uncertain whether this was where God was leading me. Having a wise coach helped add clarity to my choices. I remained in my current ministry and earned my DMin. I am thankful for doing both.

My DMin project and thesis focused on the effect of coaching on bivocational ministers. For the project I coached six bivocational ministers across the US and Canada for three months and wrote about the experience. In my thesis I included statements from each minister about how the coaching experience impacted their lives and ministries. That thesis has been downloaded over 3,300 times. I also wrote a book that detailed that coaching experience titled The Art and Practice of Bivocational Ministry: A Pastor's Guide.

Too many people look at the cost of having a coach rather than the impact it can have on one's life and ministry. It's true that Executive Coaches can cost as much as $750.00 an hour, but ministry coaches charge much less than that. Instead of viewing the cost of having a coach as an expense, it's better to see it as an investment in your future.

If having a coach seems too much, at least allow some experienced pastors mentor you through their books and podcasts. John Maxwell, Charles Swindoll, William Lane Craig, Gary McIntosh and many others have influenced my ministry in many ways through their books and podcasts. Find good people whose books and podcasts speak to you and learn as much as you can from them. Both your personal life and ministry will benefit.

The absence of moral absolutes

 Dallas Willard begins his excellent book, The Divine Conspiracy, by telling about a fighter pilot practicing a high-speed maneuver. She turned the controls for what she thought would be a steep ascent and flew straight into the ground. She did not realize that she had been flying upside down. What a parable that is for many in our world today.

We live in a time where there are no absolute moral standards.  There was a time when the church, the culture, the family and education taught moral values alongside theology and mathematics. Those days are long past. In fact, if the educational system tried to impose any sense of moral values on its students they would likely soon find themselves in court. Much of the church has abandoned sound biblical teaching on moral issues as well and has chosen to tickle the ears of their listeners, Even many families have given up and have decided to let their children decide for themselves concerning moral issues.

There was an episode on the old Andy Griffith show when Opie made friends with a hobo played by Buddy Epsen. The hobo tried to convince Andy that he should let Opie make his own choices in life when Andy replied, "Nah, I'm afraid it don't work that way. You can't let a young 'un decide for himself. He'll grab at the first flashy thing with shiny ribbons on it, then when he finds out there's a hook in it, it's too late. The wrong ideas come packaged with so much glitter, it's hard to convince him that other things might be better in the long run and all a parent can do is say, "Wait. Trust me" and try to keep temptation away." More families need to follow Andy's advice. Children need parents who will teach them the difference between right and wrong.

The educational system is even worse. They may teach courses on philosophy and discuss the issues of good and evil, but they do not dare state that certain actions are evil while others are good. They certainly can't include questions on an exam that asks what behaviors are good and which ones are evil. In our postmodern world, such questions are left up to the individual, and no one has the right to say that any individual's choice is wrong.

Of course, this only leads to chaos. If everyone is permitted to choose for themselves what is right and wrong, chaos is bound to reign supreme. College campuses, especially the Ivy League schools, seen to be a hotbed for anti-Semitic activity today forcing Jewish students to leave school in fear of their lives. According to reports, Columbia University does not want police on campus, but they are also unable to guarantee the safety of their Jewish students.

This is only one example of what happens when there are no standards of right and wrong, but it is certainly a troubling one. We are now a nation of entitled people who believe they are free to live as they choose with no one questioning anything they do while at the same time depending on the government to subsidize their lifestyles.

We need to be in prayer for the nation of Israel and the Jewish people around the world. No nation has ever turned its back on Israel and thrived. We need to pray for peace for the nation of Israel, safety for Jewish people wherever they live, and that our nation will once again discover that God has set standards of right and wrong.

What I enjoy most about bivocational ministry

 Today was a very busy day. We had an online auction conclude Tuesday night. On Wednesday people were coming in to pick up their winnings. Today, we were shipping those items that needed shipment, serving people who didn't pick up their items yesterday and receiving items for our next auction that begins next Tuesday. In between all that, I was taking pictures of some items for our next auction. Then a text came in.

A lady's father died a few months ago, and she is trying to decide what to do with a household of stuff and a ton of memories associated with most of the items. I agreed to meet her at the house and see if I could help her. Unfortunately, what was in the house had little value, not enough to hold an auction. It didn't take too much discussion to see she was feeling completely overwhelmed having to deal with it. I could identify with her stress. Before becoming an auctioneer I was the executor of an estate for a family member and had to deal with the stress of deciding what to do with everything.

I began to explain to her what I felt would be the simplest way to deal with all the material things. I then told her I was the pastor of North Madison Baptist Church here in Madison and asked if I could pray for her. She agreed, and I prayed that God would give her wisdom and insight to handling the estate and that He would surround her with His presence and peace throughout the process.

This is not the first time I've been able to pray for someone dealing with the stress of deciding what to do with a loved one's estate. This is what I enjoy most about being a bivocational minister. I get called into people's lives to help them solve problems, and in the process I'm able to minister to them. Not one time has anyone refused my offer to pray for them. I've been able to direct people to churches in their community that I know will minister to them.

I was 64 when I got my auctioneer's license. People asked why I wanted to do that at my age, and I responded that it was a way to serve people. It would be an extension of my ministry. Auctioneers get called when people have to settle estates and don't know what to do; we get called when people are downsizing or moving into assisted living and they need to dispose of some of the items they've collected over the year; and we get called by those who buy and sell to support their families. In all three examples, I have an opportunity to minister to people at their point of need.

I encourage all bivocational ministers to consider how their other work can also become a ministry. As a bivocational minister, I am a minister 24/7 whether I'm working in a factory, selling cars or conducting an auction. Your ministry doesn't end at the front doors of the church you're serving. God has given you a much larger ministry than that, and that is what I enjoy most about bivocational ministry.

When going through the fire

For several years my wife and I were permanent seat holders at the National Gospel Quartet Convention held in Louisville, KY each year. We attended all six nights of the convention and were blessed by many of the artists and their music. We gave up our seats when the convention moved to Pigeon Forge. 

One of our favorite groups was the Crabbe Family. These young people brought an energy to the stage and to their music that was electrifying. One of their songs was "Through the Fire,." which became one of their many hits. I won't go into the details behind the song, but this family had been through the fire. They knew what it meant to be in difficult circumstances and to be rescued by God. I just watched a video of them performing the song, and many of the members had tears running down their faces as they sang about how God delivers us from the fires of life.

So many in our churches and communities are going through the fire right now. People sit in the pews every Sunday with smiles on their faces and hearts broken by things we know nothing about. Some are struggling with pain that is almost overwhelming and with fears that keep them awake at night. The gospel is a story of hope, of healing and a promise that God can deliver us from the fire. We need to make sure we make that story told.

What's true of people in our churches is equally, if not more, true of those in our communities. A wise church member once told me that we never know what goes on behind the closed doors of those we know. For those who do not know Jesus Christ, their despair is even worse. They do not know the only true source of hope that exists in the world. Again, this gospel story is one they need to hear, and we in the church must find ways to help them hear it.

For those pastors reading this, I know some of you are going through the fire yourselves. Your church may be struggling over low attendance or discord within the congregation. You may even be wondering if you should remain in ministry. A lot of pastors do leave the ministry each year because the fire becomes too intense. Ro. 11: 29 tells us that "The gifts and calling of God are irrevocable." If God has called you into ministry, that calling will never leave you whether you obey it or not. I know what it's like to go through the fire. It's not fun. But, God has delivered me from every fiery trial I've encountered, and He will bring you through as well.

If you are going through a fire and need someone to talk to, please contact me. If you are a pastor struggling with your call, I invite you to contact me as well. I care. 

Advantages for the bivocational minister

 Bivocational ministers face a lot of challenges, the one most often heard expressed is a lack of time to get everything done. Others feel a lack of respect from other pastors and denominational leaders. Some are frustrated they are not serving full time. Some churches expect the ministry of a fully-funded pastor while only paying a salary of a bivocational pastor. The list could go on, but there are also some significant advantages of being a bivocational pastor.

Because bivocational ministry tends to be geographic the bivocational pastor is likely to serve a church in his or her community. When I sent my resume to my first church I explained that while I did not have experience or even a ministerial education, I did know where the hospital is and the roads and streets the people lived on. I had spent almost my entire life in this community. I graduated from the same schools my children were attending. I didn't have to learn a new community. Because I had another job in the community, it was less likely that I would seek to move. Studies find that bivocational ministers tend to stay at the same church longer than fully-funded pastors.

Bivocational ministers often share some common experiences with members of their churches. The church I served was made up primarily of blue collar workers and farmers. I was raised on dairy farms in the area and worked in a factory when I started my ministry there. I fit in very well with the membership of the church and was able to relate to many of their challenges and concerns.

Speaking of an outside job, I didn't worry nearly as much about church politics as some fully-funded pastors. My first pastor as an adult shared with me that he could not speak on a doctrinal issue because the church would fire him if he did, and he had a wife and children to support. I didn't agree with his reasoning, but I understood it. That is something I never had to worry about as a bivocational pastor. If the church tells me on Sunday to not come back, I'll go into work the next day and bring a paycheck home on Friday. There is tremendous freedom in that.

While this isn't true in every bivocational church, many in these churches understand that the pastor cannot always be available. When our church began to grow our deacons assumed more of the responsibility to providing pastoral care to our members so I could have more time to devote to our visitors and new members. It made the workload much more manageable.

I always say that bivocational ministry isn't better or less than fully-funded ministry. It is simply a different calling God gives some people to meet the needs of a church at that point in its life. While there will always be challenges to bivocational ministry, there are also advantages that can be enjoyed.

Why new churches flourish

 One of the most frequent questions I was asked when I served as an Area Resource Minister was why the newer churches in the community were growing and the traditional churches struggled to remain open. One of the most common complaints I received was why the denomination was starting new churches rather than giving that money to existing churches so they could grow. The answer to both questions was that new churches reach new people. Most existing churches didn't have a money problem; they had a vision problem. Many of them, if they were given $100,000.00, would put it in a savings account to ensure they would remain open years later. Of course, the follow-up question I was often asked is why are the new churches reaching new people?

One reason is they are not limited by tradition. A new church leader isn't going to hear "But, we've never done it that way before," when he or she proposes some new ministry. Tradition isn't always bad, but some traditions are church-killers. When what has become a tradition in the church may have made sense at one time, but its shelf life is way past.

Traditional churches often expect the minister to provide the ministry in the church while the congregation handles the administration. A church business meeting is held every month to consider such important items as the color of the toilet paper for the rest rooms. I once knew a church whose item of new business each month was whether to pay the bills the treasurer had received. In many new churches, the congregation understands they are responsible for ministry, and the church leadership makes the major decisions of the church. This is true even in congregational churches. One very traditional church made a major change in its constitution several years ago. The church now has three business meetings a year, and there are only five things the congregation can vote on. A church council makes all other decisions.

New churches are often organized into teams, not committees. You ask what's the difference: teams get things done, committees talk about doing things. These teams are often ad-hoc. Once their work is done, they are disbanded so the members can return to doing ministry. Just to be clear, serving on a committee isn't ministry, it's administration.

New churches are often formed with a specific target in mind. They do everything they do in order to reach that target group. The music is often more contemporary and appropriate to that target group. I once read that the fastest growing churches in America today were Cowboy churches. I attended one of those churches. The music was all country-western, and the worship service itself was very informal. They were having a major impact on their community. Traditional churches often take the attitude of "We unlocked the doors. You all come." And nobody comes.

New churches spend far more on reaching new people than traditional churches. One pastor who started a new church wrote they spent over $100.00 per person to reach out to new people. Compare that to the evangelism budget of most existing churches.

Traditional churches staff for maintenance; new churches staff for growth. One new church targeted the two wealthiest communities in their city. They were meeting in the gym of a Junior High School. They had 14 ministers on staff and were now seeking a senior pastor. In the two years of their existence they had already grown to over 400 people, and this is without a building and without a senior pastor.

One final thought. New churches are very intentional about everything they do. There is a sense of urgency in what they do. Not so in many traditional churches. They can talk about doing things for months before anything actually happens. New churches are intentional about their target audience, and everything, including their music and discipleship systems, are designed to reach that target. Traditional churches post sign-up sheets hoping that people will volunteer to help out. New churches focus on people whose gifts are a good fit for what needs to be done and specifically asks people to fulfill those tasks.

The power of influence

In my sermon yesterday I talked about the power of influence. My text came from the story of the woman at the well. After her encounter with Jesus she returned to her village a transformed person. She told all who would listen about her encounter with a Jewish man at the well, and how He had changed her life. Many in the village went to see Jesus for themselves, and when they returned to the village many of them were professing Jesus Christ as the Savior of the world.

But what would have happened if the woman had not shared her story with anyone? No doubt, some would notice that she was a changed woman, but they would not know how the change occurred. It was her testimony, her influence, that caused others to believe in Jesus Christ.

You and I have influence over other people. That influence may be negative or positive, but we do influence the ones with whom we come in contact. People watch what we say, they watch what we do, and those words and actions have influence.

Chances are you became a Christian because of someone's influence in your life. It may have been a parent, a spouse, a co-worker, a child or someone with whom you had a casual acquaintance, but there was something they said, something they did or the way they carried themselves that made you think there might be something to Christianity. You began to explore the claims of Christ for yourself until one day you came to believe in Jesus Christ and came to a personal faith.

Now, as Christians, we have an obligation to influence others. Jesus said we are to be the light of the world. The word translated light means a reflected light. We are to let the light of Jesus Christ shine through us so others will be drawn to Him.

Studies show that the average Christian will not lead a single person to faith in Christ in his or her lifetime. We hide our light. We only let it shine in church but not in public. As a result, many will never have the opportunity to trust in Jesus Christ.

It is a sobering thought that of all the methods God could have chosen to spread the Good News about Him, He chose to use imperfect people like you and me. It is also a sobering thought to realize that we may be the only person who can influence someone to explore the claims of Jesus Christ and come to faith in their own lives.

Who are you influencing today?

The tired pastor (Part 2)

 One reason many pastors feel overwhelmed by ministry is self-inflicted. They refuse to delegate anything to anyone. Some, in fact, resent it if someone else does something they believe they should have done.

Several years ago I talked to my Region Resource Minister about how tired and stressed I was. He listened for a few minutes and responded, "The reason you are so tired is that you are the church. You're doing everything yourself. Not only is that making you stressed, it also prevents the church from being the church." I immediately recognized how true his words were. The following Sunday I announced the title of my sermon was "Confessions of a Tired Pastor." I shared my conversation with the congregation and pointed out how God has called ministers to equip the congregation to do the work of ministry (Eph. 4). Not only did I change the course of my ministry, but our church began to grow as more people became involved in ministry.

Why is it so hard for ministers to delegate? Sometimes, we feel like it's easier if we do it ourselves. It might be, but how do we help others grow as disciples if we are trying to do everything? Maybe they won't do it like we would, but does that matter if it gets done? Or maybe we're afraid someone will mess up and not do something properly. I have to admit that I've messed up more than once. That's how we learn. We're not perfect, and we shouldn't expect perfection from others either.

For some, refusing to delegate is a reflection of what they have learned. Perhaps they grew up in a church where the pastor did everything, so they assume that's expected of them as well. Maybe they learned something in seminary that caused them to believe that some tasks could only be performed by someone ordained.

Unfortunately, some pastors will not delegate because of ego issues. They're afraid someone will do something better than they do. They crave the appreciation that others give them when something good is done, and they don't want someone else to receive that. Any minister who struggles in this area needs  counseling to learn why they feel this way.

Regardless of the reasons for not delegating, trying to do everything is a sure-fire way to feel stress and exhaustion. It is also one reason why congregations fail to grow as disciples. Discipleship is a combination of learning and doing, and if we do not let them do, they will never grow.

The tired pastor

Much has been written in recent years about the exhaustion many pastors feel. The pressures and stresses of ministry has led to many leaving the ministry and seeking other types of employment. There is no question that these pressures and stresses are real. I've experienced them myself, but I've also learned that there are some things I can do to help alleviate them.

One of the simplest is to take control of your schedule. I often joke that people who have nothing to do want to do it with you. Unfortunately, that is not a joke. Unless you control your calendar, someone else will. I recommend that at the start of each month block off times on your calendar for the things you are responsible for doing. If you are responsible for preaching each week, you need preparation time. When are you most effective in your study and sermon preparation? Many find their most productive hours are in the morning. If that is you, block out your mornings to plan and prepare your messages. You can then schedule other demands on your time at other times on your calendar.

When blocking out times on your calendar don't forget to schedule times with your family and for your own self-care. You don't want to schedule a deacon's retreat on your wife's birthday or your anniversary! Block out those days well in advance. Be sure to include time on your calendar for yourself. Remember...self-care is not selfishness, it is stewardship of a very valuable commodity...you. Take your vacations. Take your days off.

A second thing to do to help ease the stresses of ministry is to deal with interpersonal conflicts quickly. There are few things more stressful than knowing that someone is upset at something you've said or done. Address it as soon as you learn someone is unhappy with you. It may be something as simple as a misunderstanding that can easily be cleared up. There may be a legitimate issue that needs addressed. If so, acknowledge your part in that and see what can be done to resolve it.

Unfortunately, personal finances are often a stressor in a minister's life. Few ministers are paid salaries comparable to what others with our education and experience receive. Personal financial management is a course that should be taught in seminary. I would recommend that every minister take the "Financial Peace University" course offered by Dave Ramsey. It will help you get out of debt, avoid debt, build up an emergency fund and plan for retirement.

The final thing I'll address in this post is to set priorities. Some people act as if everything is a priority. If everything is a priority, nothing is. What are the top five things you need to do today? Once you determine that, you can then prioritize each of them. Number them one through five. Begin working on number one and don't stop until it is completed. Then move on to number two. You may not get to number two, and that's OK. That becomes number one tomorrow.

One thing I've learned in ministry is that there will always be one more phone call I could have made, and probably should have. There will always be one more visit I could have made, and probably should have. There will always be unfinished work at the end of every day, and I've had to learn to accept that. I'm not going to save the world today, and I'll burn myself out if I try. If that happens, then I'll be no good to anyone.  

 

The friendliest church in town

As an Area Resource Minister I often helped churches who were seeking new pastoral leadership. One of the questions I would ask in our first meeting was "Why would anyone want to attend your church?" More often than not, the question caught people by surprise. Stop and think about it. Chances are anyone who visited a church for the first time probably drove past several other churches to get to yours. So, why yours? More times than not, the answer was because they were the friendliest church in town. In fact, I've often said that I have yet to meet the second most friendliest church in any town! But, is this true?

An Area Resource Minister is often in a different church almost every week. When I retired from that ministry I was serving 133 churches. Many churches, especially in the early years, did not know me and simply saw me as a visitor. Sadly, I have to admit that many of those churches were not very friendly.

In one church no one was allowed to enter the sanctuary until the Sunday school class that met there finished. I think there were six or less people in that class. The entrance filled up almost wall to wall. My wife and I stood there, obviously people who had never been in that church before, and not a single person spoke to either of us or even acknowledged that we existed. Because I tend to be a little ornery, I was determined to not make the first move. I wanted to see how this congregation treated its first-time guests. They failed the test.

In another church the "greeters" were huddled in a corner talking to themselves when my wife and I entered. I finally approached them and asked a question which they could not answer, but I was directed to a visitor's book "somewhere around here" that I was to find and sign it. They went back to their previous conversation. Before the service started, a gentleman who did know me must have said something to them because they came marching single-file down the aisle, said they were glad I was there, turned around and marched back to the back. Not that friendly.

I could repeat many more stories like these, but what I found in 14 years of visiting different churches is that most churches are friendly to those on the inside but not so much to those on the outside. In fact, it was so bad I developed a "Church Hospitality" seminar that I presented to several churches who requested it.

Success in evangelism and church growth depends on the ability to build relationships with people. In the past, people attended a church and built relationships with the people there. Today, the relationships come first. If people do not have a relationship with someone in your congregation, they probably won't come. And if they come, they will determine with a very few minutes whether or not they will return. That determination will be based on a number of factors, but one of the major factors is the friendliness of the people they meet.

A great cloud of witnesses

This past Sunday the ABW at North Madison Baptist Church installed Linda Tilley into their Hall of Fame. It was a very moving service for all who attended. Linda passed away before I began serving the church so I did not know her, but as I heard about her faithful ministry it was easy to see why she was being recognized. Not only was she a wonderful wife to her husband, Jim, she was a faithful and dedicated worker in the church. She had a passion for missionaries and mission work. I was blessed to sit there and hear some of the things she did in the church. The Bible tells us we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, and Linda is certainly included in that cloud.

Years ago when I was serving in my first church, we took communion to our shut-ins. One day the wife of one couple asked why we did that. I explained that I had read a lot of the old records of the church, and her name seemed to be on every page. That church was there for us now because of people like her and many others who sacrificed and gave of themselves to ensure that it would be. Just because they were not physically able to attend church, we did not want them to think they were forgotten. They were still a part of this congregation, and bringing communion to them was one way to help stay connected. They are also part of that great cloud of witnesses.

Unless you are serving in a new church, there are people like that in your church's history as well. Men and women who sacrificed, who served, who supported, and who ministered in multiple ways. Some of them were out front while others preferred to serve behind the scenes. Some may have taught or led music while others made sure the flower beds were kept clean and the kitchen was clean after a church dinner. Some may have been bold witnesses who led people to Christ, and others were prayer warriors without anyone knowing. Your church exists today because of those faithful saints. They are part of that great cloud of witnesses.

If the church is there for future generations it will be because of the faithfulness of those in the church today. Today's teachers, today's music leaders, today's prayer warriors will ensure that the church is there for our children and grandchildren and generations beyond. Every Christian is called to serve in some capacity and given the necessary gifts to make that service possible. I often tell my congregation that their baptism was their ordination to minister. Each of us are called to be part of that great cloud of witnesses.

 

The changing church

 Anyone who has been involved in ministry for more than a few years knows that the church has undergone some tremendous changes in recent years. It's kind of funny because we usually hear that churches resist change, but at the same time the church has changed a lot since I began my pastoral ministry. Let's look at some of these changes.

There is little denominational loyalty today. My family moved several times when I was growing up. No matter where we moved, we found a Baptist church to attend. Few people today care what denomination the church is related to. They are looking for a church that meets their needs.

In fact, they may decide to participate in several churches. They may attend one church because they enjoy the worship service in that church. They may send their children and youth to another church due to their programs for that age group. This same family may attend a Bible study held at a different church. This involvement in different churches will be a challenge when one of the churches tries to recruit them for a ministry within that church. This cafeteria approach to church attendance will also have an impact on their financial giving. Which church will receive their tithes and offerings?

While speaking of denominations, many churches today find that they receive less support from their denomination than they did in the past. Churches used to look to the denomination for assistance in finding new pastoral leadership, but many denominations are unable to provide much help as they simply do not have the candidates to offer to the churches. Churches in the past received much of their programming material from the denomination. Today, that material either doesn't exist or is not in line with the theological beliefs of the church. Due to financial reasons, many denominations have reduced their staff which means there is less contact with their churches. This can make the church feel they have been abandoned by their denomination.

In the past a church nominating committee would ask people to accept a role in the church for the coming year. That is becoming much more difficult today as many people do not want to make long-term commitments, and they consider a year-long task to be a long-term commitment. This has forced some churches to recruit teachers and other workers for a quarter at a time or they may even only ask for a monthly commitment.

For years I've complained that Sunday school literature had been "dumbed-down" so much that a lot of it wasn't worth using. It was only recently I learned that the problem might actually be that the publishing houses have needed to reduce the preparation time for the teachers. Some publishers have conducted studies and found that the average amount of time teachers prepare for their classes is 15 minutes or less a week. Because of the busy schedules many people have today, that is unlikely to change, but it does mean that the lessons will continue to lack depth.

People's busy schedules impact the church in other ways. When I was a child, our Vacation Bible Schools were two weeks long. Today, most VBS programs last five days. I know one church who had their VBS on Wednesday evenings for four weeks. It was the only way they could get enough workers to hold a VBS. Also, the days are long past when you could count on people in the church to be in attendance every time the doors were opened. Few churches continue to have Sunday evening services, and very few have a mid-week service anymore.

Because many children come from broken homes they often spend every other week with a different parent. This often means that they will only attend your church twice a month, if that often. That makes it difficult to have any kind of continuity in your children's and youth ministry.

I'll just mention one more change. Many Americans struggle with debt. Even those who want to tithe feel they cannot because of their debt and other financial obligations. Many churches today rely on the savings they accumulated when the Builder generation was the primary generation in the church. That generation, and to a large part, the Boomer generation, was consistent with their financial support of the church. As these generations are no longer a part of the church, many churches struggle to meet their budgets. This is unlikely to improve without serious stewardship training in the church.

There are no easy answers to any of these changes. They are the reality of doing ministry in the 21st century, and one reason why so many churches and ministry leaders struggle so much. It is also unlikely that any of these will change. Rather than wishing things would go back to the way they used to be, the best thing we can do is to find ways to minister in the new reality.

Feeding the sheep

As I've shared many times, when I began serving my first church as pastor I had no pastoral experience and no education beyond high school. I only knew that God had called me to minister and that He had called me to that church. I went there with one purpose: to preach the Word of God the best I could.

A funny thing began to happen. Some people from the church I attended before I began preaching started coming to the church I now served. The pastor's theology in that church was suspect, and they wanted to go where the Bible was being preached without compromise. Despite the fact that I had not contacted anyone or asked any of these folks to begin attending my church, several families made the change and moved their membership. It wasn't long before someone accused me of "sheep stealing." 

I am the first to admit that I am not always the most tactful person on the earth. My response to the person who accused me of steeling sheep certainly reflects this! I explained that I had not stolen any sheep. It was not my fault if there was a hole in the fence, some sheep wandered over into my pasture and was fed so well that they couldn't get back through the hole.

We will always have church-hoppers. If they show up at your church you can be confident that within a short time they will leave for one reason or another. But, there are legitimate reasons for some people seeking a new place to worship.

There are churches today that have abandoned biblical teaching. Entire denominations have abandoned the clear teaching of Scripture on various issues. Anyone holding to an inerrant, infallible view of Scripture should leave such churches and find one that preaches sound doctrine. I had to leave one such church. Some of the pastor's messages were not biblically sound. I explained to him that my wife and I did not want our children exposed to such teaching so we had no option but to leave. The word later went out that we left because the choir got new robes!

No one should sit under false doctrine being taught. No one should remain in a church in which the congregation is assaulted week after week by the pastor. When I served as a Region resource minister one church member, who I knew very well, asked me to visit their church. She said the pastor's sermons beat up the members every week. I did visit and nearly walked out half way through the message. For 45 minutes he beat on the congregation. The problem was that I knew nearly everyone in that church and knew that they were a great congregation. They had done much more for a church their size than most until this pastor came. Even a work mule will quit working if it's beaten enough, and this church had been beaten enough. Several good members later left that church.

A third reason people will leave a church is that there is no reason for them to stay. There are committed Christian people who want to use their spiritual gifts to serve, and if the church has nothing for them to do, they will find a church who can use their gifts. There are people who want to grow in their faith, and if the church does not provide opportunities for them to do so, they will find a church that will. So many smaller churches complain about people leaving their church for larger ones, but if they do not offer people an opportunity to use their spiritual gifts they should not be surprised if people leave.

Jesus made it very clear that church leaders are to feed the sheep. If we are doing our job, we will lose very few people to other churches. Feed them the Word of God. Feed them with opportunities to use their spiritual gifts in service to others. Not only will you keep your sheep, you may find hungry sheep heading in your direction.