Finding peace in the ministry

While serving as a Region Minister in our judicatory one of the things that troubled me was the number of pastors in the churches I served who were simply waiting until they reached retirement age. The pressures of ministry had wore them out, and now they were just counting the days until they could retire. Essentially, they had given up on ministry. Some were still serving their congregations well, but others were just going through the motions. Some were obviously battling depression, but none of those pastors were willing to see a doctor and get some help. I felt sorry for the pastors and also for the churches they were serving. Those churches were not getting the kind of pastoral leadership they needed.

I can understand why some pastors feel beat down. They are serving in churches I often referred to as "widow makers." During my time as Region Minister I finally told two churches I would work with them to get healthier, but I would not recommend another pastor to them until they worked through their health issues. Not surprisingly, they were not interested in working on health issues so I never worked with them on finding a new pastor.

Fortunately, most churches are not like that. Often, in those churches, when a pastor feels overwhelmed it is self-inflicted. Most people enter the ministry wanting to impact people's live. Many of us struggle to say no to almost any request. It doesn't take long before our schedules are so full of meeting the needs of others that we have no time for self-care or for meeting the needs of our families. We begin to feel like we are in a vise. The pressure can continue to build until we feel overwhelmed.

So how do we deal with this pressure? What can we do to recapture the joy we first felt when we entered the ministry? We can start by learning to say no to some things. We do not have to touch everything in the church. We do not have to attend every meeting. We do not have to run over to someone's house when their cat stubs it's toe. We can learn that it's OK to let a phone call go to voice mail. We can learn that not everything is an emergency. 

We can learn to own our calendars. I suggest setting aside time each week for personal time. Put it on your calendar. Add some time on your calendar to spend time with your family. Have a date night with your spouse, and put it on your calendar. If someone asks to meet with you during those times just tell them you already have an appointment at that time.

Build margin in your life. If your calendar is packed full you have no time for true emergencies. That adds stress to your life. You can't control when you will need to do a funeral or deal with a crisis in your family or in someone else's family. If you have no margin, you'll be trying to do too many things at the same time. Talk about stressful!

Determine your priorities and work with those as much as possible. If you are responsible for preaching remember that Sunday comes every seven days. You must make that message a priority, and that doesn't happen if you start working on that message on Saturday night. If your church is having a special event that you are required to participate in, start early preparing for that. The week before is not the time to start. I had an instructor in Bible college who had plans drawn up four years in advance for events he was responsible for leading. I'm not suggesting anything that extreme, but I also never saw him stressed about anything. Start early planning those special events and you'll have much less stress.

There's more you can do, but if you'll start with these simple steps, you'll find ministry to be much less stressful.

The tired pastor (Part 2)

 One reason many pastors feel overwhelmed by ministry is self-inflicted. They refuse to delegate anything to anyone. Some, in fact, resent it if someone else does something they believe they should have done.

Several years ago I talked to my Region Resource Minister about how tired and stressed I was. He listened for a few minutes and responded, "The reason you are so tired is that you are the church. You're doing everything yourself. Not only is that making you stressed, it also prevents the church from being the church." I immediately recognized how true his words were. The following Sunday I announced the title of my sermon was "Confessions of a Tired Pastor." I shared my conversation with the congregation and pointed out how God has called ministers to equip the congregation to do the work of ministry (Eph. 4). Not only did I change the course of my ministry, but our church began to grow as more people became involved in ministry.

Why is it so hard for ministers to delegate? Sometimes, we feel like it's easier if we do it ourselves. It might be, but how do we help others grow as disciples if we are trying to do everything? Maybe they won't do it like we would, but does that matter if it gets done? Or maybe we're afraid someone will mess up and not do something properly. I have to admit that I've messed up more than once. That's how we learn. We're not perfect, and we shouldn't expect perfection from others either.

For some, refusing to delegate is a reflection of what they have learned. Perhaps they grew up in a church where the pastor did everything, so they assume that's expected of them as well. Maybe they learned something in seminary that caused them to believe that some tasks could only be performed by someone ordained.

Unfortunately, some pastors will not delegate because of ego issues. They're afraid someone will do something better than they do. They crave the appreciation that others give them when something good is done, and they don't want someone else to receive that. Any minister who struggles in this area needs  counseling to learn why they feel this way.

Regardless of the reasons for not delegating, trying to do everything is a sure-fire way to feel stress and exhaustion. It is also one reason why congregations fail to grow as disciples. Discipleship is a combination of learning and doing, and if we do not let them do, they will never grow.

Every pastor needs a friend

I have been in the ministry now for over 35 years. Fourteen of those years were spent in judicatory ministry working with hundreds of churches. In addition, I have traveled the country and parts of Canada leading conferences and workshops for hundreds of small church pastors. One of the things I have learned is that ministry is often tough, and many pastors are struggling. Another thing I've learned is that many pastors do not have a close friend to help them with their struggles.

Every pastor needs a friend. We need someone who loves us unconditionally, and someone we can trust with our pain and hurts. Many of us have been told that we should not make friends with people in our churches, but I never accepted that advice. Some of my closest friends today were members of a church I served for 20 years. One person in particular would do absolutely anything for me as I would for him. I consider myself fortunate to have him as a friend, especially when I know that many pastors do not have even one such person in their life.

Every pastor also needs a pastor. There are things that happen in the life of a minister that only another minister can understand. Sometimes we need advice that only another minister can provide. We need someone who can speak biblical truth in our lives, and we need someone who can keep our confidences.

When I went into judicatory ministry I assumed I would be that person for many of the pastors I served. I soon found out some did not consider me a safe person to tell their stories to. Eventually I learned the reason. Although Baptist leaders do not appoint pastors to churches, we do recommend potential pastors to our churches who are seeking new leaders. Some were afraid if they told me their weaknesses or failures it would hurt their chances of being recommended to a church.

If a pastor does not have a trusted friend or a pastor who does he or she talk to when things get difficult? Often, it's our spouses, but that can be very unfair to them. While they are willing to help us with our struggles, it's not fair to dump everything on them. Doing so may lead them to resent our ministry or the church we serve. When that occurs it only leads to even more stress in the clergy home.

I recommend every pastor seek out a friend and a pastor. Your friend should be someone local who you can see and speak to regularly.  I have more than one such person in my life, and you should seek to have as many such people in your life as possible.

Your pastor may be someone further away. It might be a former professor, a former pastor, a retired minister, or an active minister in another community. It just needs to be someone you can trust to keep your confidences and who will be honest with you.

Ministry will have its challenges, but with friends and a pastor it can be easier.

Exhaustion in the life of the minister

When a person writes a book he or she always believes that it is something that readers will find helpful, interesting, or entertaining. Otherwise, why write it?

I certainly believed that The Healthy Pastor: Easing the Pressures of Ministry would be one that many pastors would find helpful. As a pastor for 20 years and serving as a judicatory minister when I wrote the book I had known many pastors who struggled with the stresses often associated with ministry. I knew some who had allowed the pressures of ministry to cause them to become depressed or have physical illnesses often associated with stress. Some had dropped out of ministry because of the toll it was taking on them and/or their families.

Surprisingly, the book really hasn't sold very well. I would have loved to have had that book when I was in pastoral ministry. It might have helped me avoid a twelve-month battle with clinical depression. It certainly would have helped me better balance my life and ministry. But, for whatever reason, it hasn't found an audience.

Ministers have a difficult task. Most of us are expected to prepare and present one to three messages each week. In smaller churches we often have the primary responsibility to handle the administrative tasks of the church. Most of us are expected to attend the various leadership meetings that occur in our churches and provide input to each of them. In many churches the pastor is the primary person to visit members when they are in the hospital and guests when they visit the church. Funerals, weddings, and other events in people's lives will often include the pastor.

It's little wonder that our lives can get out of balance with the expectations placed upon ministers. Most ministers, including bivocational ministers, find that they are putting in a lot of hours trying to meet the various demands placed upon us. We often do not get proper rest, eat healthy, and spend enough time with family and on our own self-care.

We are called to serve a congregation that is made up of people who have a variety of needs in their lives that many expect the minister to help them solve. In addition, there are the new people who may begin to attend worship services and those who come to the church each month seeking financial assistance. Much of our time is spent around people with needs, some of them serious, and they expect us to be able to help them. Some get very angry if we are unable to do so, and we usually don't feel very good about it when we can't help as we would like.

Some of the people we serve can become very demanding and consume too much of our time if we allow it. I'm currently reading
The Power of the Other: The startling effect other people have on you, from the boardroom to the bedroom and beyond-and what to do about it by Dr. Henry Cloud. In the chapter on The Fuel for High Performance he cautions readers about properly managing their workload but goes on to remind us that "it's just as important to manage the energy sources around you. This is intensely interpersonal. People give energy, and they take it away. Know the difference and plan accordingly."

A workload that is out of balance will lead to exhaustion but so will spending too much time with "energy suckers." These are the people who do not respect boundaries and will try to monopolize your time. They are often people will serious needs who wants someone else to be responsible for addressing them. While we cannot ignore these folks nor their needs, we must also not allow them to control our lives. To be healthy we must spend time with others who are healthy who can energize and encourage us as we do the same for them.

The ministry pressures I discuss in my book are common to many of us in ministry. Each of them I have experienced in my own life or I've seen them at work in the lives of others. While these pressures often cannot be eliminated, they can be controlled and lessened so that your life and ministry is much more enjoyable and effective. Amazon has discounted this book from its original price so it might be a good time to buy a copy. I truly believe you will find it to be helpful to you.

Self-care is not selfishness.

Yesterday I was privileged to speak at the summer meeting of the Church Relations Council (CRC) at Campbellsville University. For several years I have served on this council and just agreed to another three year term. I love CU and their emphasis on the gospel of Jesus Christ. If there was ever a time when Christian higher education was important it is the time in which we now live.

The CRC meets twice a year to update us on what is happening at the campus and to seek our input on how the university can improve. We hear numerous reports from the heads of various schools in the university, but the report I most enjoy comes from students who have been involved in mission trips. A lot of people criticize this younger generation, but they should see how many of students from CU go on mission trips every year and hear how God used them to make a difference in people's lives.

I was asked several months ago to be the keynote speaker at this particular meeting. Because I was speaking primarily to pastors and university and church leaders I decided to speak on the important of practicing good self-care. As I explained in my presentation, self-care is not selfishness; it is stewardship of a valuable resource God has given us...us. In my message I shared my own story of how I allowed my life to get out of balance and the lessons I learned from that experience.

During the break several of those in attendance told me the message really hit home with them. They admitted they often struggled to keep the various elements of their lives in balance, and some could identify with some of the struggles I had.

Many of us in Christian leadership do a much better job of caring for others than we do in caring for ourselves. Clergy have a very high rate of burnout and depression, and this is one reason we see half of all seminary graduates drop out of the ministry within five years after graduating from seminary.

I understand the desire for pastors and church leaders to want to make a difference because I share that desire. However, I've also learned I'm not going to save the world tomorrow. Ministry is supposed to a distance event, not a sprint, but many of us go at it as if it's a 100 meter dash and then wonder why we struggle physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

I wrote The Healthy Pastor: Easing the Pressures of Ministry to help church leaders enjoy a healthier life and ministry. Ministry is challenging, and we'll never eliminate all the pressures associated with it, but we can take steps to ease those pressures. I made the book available at the meeting and several copies did sell after my message.

Enjoying a healthy, productive ministry is a choice any of us can make. No one can force you to become overwhelmed by ministry and your other responsibilities. We can get control of our calendars and our lives if we choose to do so. We can take our days off and our vacations. We can make time for our families if we decide to do so. We can deepen our spiritual lives if that is what we need to do. Eliminating many of the pressures of ministry simply requires a decision on our part to do so and then setting the boundaries that are needed to remove those pressures.

We had a great meeting at CU with good worship and exciting presentations. The school expects a record enrollment this fall, and it excites me to know the impact the school will have on these students.

It's OK to buy used

A few weeks ago I posted an article here about the problems pastors face when they go into debt. Last Sunday morning while on my way to church I was listening to a Dave Ramsey podcast. Two individuals called his program with questions about the purchase of a car and a washer and dryer. As I listened to Ramsey's responses I thought that many of my readers might find his words helpful.

Both of these persons were trying to get out of debt. One had sold her car and bought an older car that had already needed two repairs and was not currently running. She was complaining that it was taking all their money until Ramsey finally got her to admit that so far she had spent about $300.00 on repairs, about one month's worth of payments she had been spending on the car she sold. In the meantime her family had been able to pay off about $10,000 worth of debt in eight months. I understand her frustration about having a car that needed repairs, but the math was working out very well for her. It shouldn't be too long before she can move up in car (one that is paid for), and she'll be out of debt.

The other caller was asking about the benefit of buying a washer and drier versus spending about $50.00 a month at the laundromat. While Ramsey said that made great financial sense, she didn't have the money to pay for a new washer and drier. He encouraged her to buy them used and save up enough money to purchase new ones later.

Two years ago our washer and drier needed replaced. We had them for years, and they were both worn out. We had looked at new ones, but I really didn't want to spend that much money. I was attending an auction when a washer and drier set came up for sale. They were nearly new. They would have cost about $800.00 if I bought them new. I paid $200.00 for them. We haven't had any problems.

About three years ago I obtained my auctioneer's license and needed something to haul things in. On a used car lot I found an old van that seemed perfect. I found out it had been previously owned by a local person I knew so I called and asked about the van. I returned to the lot and bought the van for a little over $2,000. Today, it has over 200,000 miles on it and is still running. Yes, I've had to spend a little money on it, but every time I wonder if I should spend any more money on repairs I just drive on the new car dealer's lot, look at the prices on the stickers, and head to the garage. Do I want to drive that van forever? No, but it's doing what I need it to do now, and one day I'll get something better (for cash).

As Ramsey explained to the callers, it's OK to buy used when you don't have the money to pay for the new product. In the previous post I wrote on pastors and debt, when you have debt you have a lot of problems that can impact your personal life, your family, and your ministry.

I had to learn this the hard way. I used to think I had to buy everything new. I never worried about going into debt because I had always been taught that debt was normal. When this country ran into the financial mess we were in a few years ago people found out just what a horrible master debt was and the pain it could cause.

I have seen solid wood dining tables and chairs in perfect condition sell for $50.00 at auctions. That doesn't happen at every auction, but it happens enough that it's worthwhile going to an auction if you need a new dining room set. I've seen very nice sofas sell for $2.00 at one auction and one just like it sell for $100.00 at the next auction. You never know, but if you need furniture and don't have the cash to pay for something new, I would be checking out auctions. Yard sales and Craigslist are two other good options. It's OK to buy used.

This blog is dedicated to helping ministers, especially bivocational ministers. You will have much less stress in your life if you can avoid debt as much as possible. Believe me when I say I write from experience. There is so much more freedom to enjoy life and ministry without worrying about having to make payments on consumer debt. One way to avoid a lot of debt is to be smart when you are buying the things you need. If you can pay cash for new items, great, but if not, it's OK to buy used. Then you can save your money and replace those items with new ones.

Watch out for the little foxes

In Song of Solomon 2:15 we read that it is the little foxes that spoil the vines.  In biblical times the vineyard keepers had to watch for the foxes to prevent them from destroying the vineyards.  The principle behind this for us today is that it is often little things that create huge problems if left unattended.  This week I've battled some "little foxes" that were not huge issues, but they were a major distraction and source of frustration,

Ants.  Our wet spring has brought the ants in the house.  Leave an empty Coke can on the countertop overnight and you could be sure it would be surrounded by ants then next morning.  We tried a couple of home remedies that people told us about with limited results.  A friend of mine reported he had purchased something to get rid of ants and was convinced the main ingredient was watermelon juice.  He said he never saw so many ants after he started using it!  Mid-week I found a product that seems to have worked.  This is only the third day, but we are seeing a drastic reduction in the number of ants, and the ones we are seeing continue to eat the product we bought.  We are hopeful that within a few more days the ant problem will be resolved.

Dandelions.  Every year I use a fertilizer with weed control on my yard.  Most years we have virtually no dandelions in the yard, but this year has been an exception.  Again, maybe it's due to a wetter spring, but regardless of the reason we really don't like dandelions and we have many to dislike.  Early yesterday and today while the grass was still damp from dew I've spread more weed control on the yard. Again, we are hopeful this will resolve the problem.

Ministry is often filled with frustrations.  Sometimes it is big issues that keep us awake at night, but often it's the little things that we never address.  It may be a volunteer that is serving in a place that is not a good fit for his gifts.  He is frustrated and so are we, but we never address it.  Perhaps it's a small issue with the church property.  I recently talked with a pastor new to his church who was very frustrated with a moldy smell in one of the entrances to the church.  Over the years a small leak began in the roof that was never fixed.  Now the carpet in that entrance is nasty looking and smells musty.  This is a primary entrance many people use to enter the church, and the pastor is concerned about the impression this makes to first-time guests.  I pointed out that if the leak had been fixed when it was first noticed this problem would not exist.  I also reminded him that this is a very small area with a metal, flat roof over it.  My guess is the leak could be repaired, the carpet replaced, and the entry way repainted for less than $1,000.00.  A small amount to control a little fox and make the entrance more inviting to people.

I don't know what the little foxes are in your ministry, but I do know they can often be a source of great frustration.  They can also get in the way of effective ministry.  Little foxes have a tendency to not go away on their own.  Ignoring them is not a solution.  Dealing with them is, and the sooner the better.  Zig Ziglar used to say that if you have to eat a frog, don't look at that sucker too long.  When you identify a little fox, deal with it right then.  Once you do, you can move on to more productive ways to use your time.

I would encourage any church leader to read my book, The Healthy Pastor: Easing the Pressures of Ministry for additional helps in handling the various stresses of ministry.

Developing teams in the bivocational church

Over the past few years I have officially coached several bivocational ministers and worked with dozens of others.  At some point in those coaching relationships the problem of time has always come up.  I have yet to meet a bivocational minister who doesn't struggle with finding the time to accomplish everything he or she needs to do.  I've tried to address this in several of my books, and especially in The Healthy Pastor: Easing the Pressures of Ministry.  I also talk about it in a couple of the workshops I lead for bivocational and small church ministers.  While there are several things that can be done to help ease the stress of time pressures, one of the best ways to address it is by developing teams in the church to handle some of the ministry tasks that too many of us in bivocational ministry try to do ourselves.

When I began my ministry I really believed that I had to touch everything that happened in the church.  I was young and a self-admitted workaholic so that wasn't a problem for the first few years, but it eventually caught up to me.  I was close to burning out.  I was diagnosed with clinical depression that was due in large part to pastoring a church, working a full time job in a factory, attending a Bible school, and trying to meet the needs of a wife and two children.  When I write or talk about the dangers of living an unbalanced life it comes from my own personal experience.

At an annual meeting of our region I sought out my judicatory leader and told him of my struggles.  He explained that much of my problem was that I was trying to be the church.  I was doing it all.  He went on to say that I was also depriving the congregation of the opportunity for them to be the church.  He helped me understand I was cheating them out of the privilege of doing ministry.  The next week I shared with our congregation what I was going through and my conversation with this leader.  I also announced some changes in how I would serve as their pastor.  One of my challenges at that point was that I didn't know how to do anything other than what I had been doing.  It was a learning curve for me as well as for the church.

A resource I wish I had back then is a great book written by someone who is as committed to bivocational ministry as I am.  Terry Dorsett has written a book called Developing Leadership Teams in the Bivocational Church.  Bivocational ministers do not have to do everything in the church, and we shouldn't.  Our biblical role as explained in Ephesians 4 is to equip the saints to do the work of ministry.  Terry's book is one of the best I have found to help the pastor identify and train the various teams that a particular church might need.  He provides worksheets for both the pastor and the students to use as their work on various ministry roles in the church.  Evaluation forms are also provided so it can be determined how helpful the training was in these various roles.  This is an excellent resource that should be in the library of every bivocational minister, but don't just put it on your library shelf.  This is a resource that is to be used over and over again to continuously be training people how they can use the gifts God has given them to serve both him and others around them.

John Maxwell has a saying that "Teamwork makes the dream work."  I think that's true.  Most of us went into bivocational ministry because we sensed God was calling us to do so.  We began our ministries with wonderful dreams of making a difference for God.  However, for too many of us those dreams turned into nightmares as we allowed ourselves to become over-extended.  If we want to see those original dreams accomplished we need to invest ourselves into developing and training teams in our churches that will allow us to enjoy far more ministerial success than if we try to do everything ourselves.

The struggles of the smaller church pastor

This past week I've had the opportunity to talk with people who are either pastoring a smaller church or have recently pastored such a church. One group is part of an association that was holding revival services in different churches that week, and they were commenting the attendance was steady but down from last year's event.  Interestingly, most of them admitted they had attended few of the services themselves due to other obligations.  Some of them were bivocational and simply did not have the time to attend a service every evening while others had demands on their time that prevented them from being at the revival meetings every night.  I'm certainly not judging them nor putting them down because I know how demanding bivocational ministry can be.  I also noted in their discussions that they were not complaining about the slightly lower attendance.  They understood the busy schedules people have today.

Another individual was a former bivocational pastor who had resigned his ministry under a tremendous amount of pressure from church members.  I believe he is doing some supply preaching but expressed no interest in returning to pastoral ministry.  It's a shame because he had taken a fairly small church and grew it to a very respectable membership for its location.  Unfortunately for him, he had grown it to a size that was unacceptable to the controllers in that church who feared they would soon lose their ability to control what was happening in their church.  While this pastor tried to withstand the challenges for a season, he eventually gave up and resigned.  The pastor the church called after him encountered the same issues and quickly decided he wasn't going to fight them.  He resigned within months.  The church is now seeking a new pastor.

The issues of time and dealing with church controllers seem to be two of the primary struggles many small church pastors face.  There is never enough time to address everything that seems to demand the pastor's attention.  Unless the pastor has a clear sense of his or her purpose this is a problem that can quickly become unsurmountable.  If I had to guess I would suspect some of the lay folks, especially some who are retired, have complained about the pastors "not supporting this revival" because they weren't there every night.  As a younger leader I would have probably been one of those complaining because I used to be naive enough to think I had to be at everything that was going on related to our church.  That is not the case, and the wise small church pastor needs to realize that as quickly as possible if he or she wants to enjoy ministry and life.

Controllers are another story.  Hebrews 13: 17 says, "Obey your leaders and submit to their authority.  They keep watch over you as men who must give an account.  Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you."  Talk about a verse that needs to be preached from the pulpit!  Ministry is to be a joy, not a burden, but in too many churches it is a burden.  One of the sobering things I often considered as a pastor was that one day I would give an account to God for my ministry and of every person who sat under my ministry.  That is burden enough without having to also deal with the burden of trying to deal with church controllers.

My advice is simple.  Get control of your schedule and make sure it is in alignment with the vision God has given you for ministry, and confront the controllers in your church as soon as they raise their ugly heads.  The advice is much simpler to give than the implementation.  Your best schedule will soon be disrupted by a phone call that requires your attention, and dealing with controllers is like trying to herd cats.  However, until you address these two things you will continue to experience stress in your life and ministry.  If these are issues in your ministry I recommend you read my book The Healthy Pastor: Easing the Pressures of Ministry for some ways to deal with these and many other issues that cause stress in the life of a minister.

Where in the world is Dennis?

If you are wondering why I haven't posted on this blog recently it's because I've been away on vacation.  On September 13 and 14 I was with the Southern Baptists of Michigan leading a couple of workshops at a great event they hosted for their pastors and church leaders.  As soon as I got back home my wife and I left for a much needed vacation in Panama City Beach.  The hotel where we stayed charges for WIFI so I made the decision to take a true vacation from everything. 

Typically, when we go on vacation it takes me a day or two to relax enough to enjoy myself and to stop thinking about the various responsibilities I have.  Not this time!  I played golf a couple of times, but mostly we sat around the pool, walked the beach, ate some fantastic fresh seafood dinners, and read and talked.  We had two or three rainy days, but when the sky was clear we enjoyed watching the beautiful sunsets that occur there on the beach.

Today, I'm back to work with a LOT of emails to check out and phone calls to return, but that's OK.  We had a great time away and have returned refreshed and ready to get back to work.  And do you want to know something?  I was gone for two weeks and the world continued to get along just fine.

Too many pastors seem to think if they take a vacation their church will fall apart while they are gone.  For a number of years early in my ministry I think I had the same mindset.  Even though the church gave me two weeks vacation, I never took but one week.  As I tell workshops now, I guess I was so arrogant that I thought God couldn't do it without me.  If you think like that you need to remember the graveyards are full of indispensable people.  They died, and the world continued just fine.

You and your family deserves a vacation...a true vacation that doesn't include you returning phone calls, e-mails, and jumping every time your phone calls off.  Take the time to refresh yourself and reconnect with this beautiful world God has created.  Do this 2-4 times a year and you'll be amazed at how much more productive the rest of the year will be, and how much your family will appreciate it.

Advocating for the needs of bivocational pastors

Seldom does a week go by that I do not receive a call from a pastor who's struggling and considering leaving the ministry.  Many of these pastors are bivocational, but some are fully-funded.  The two things they all share in common is a general frustration with ministry and weariness.  Some are contemplating leaving the ministry entirely because of the frustrations.  Others wonder if they just need to find a different church to serve.  These are not easy, simple questions to answer, and they are not questions I can answer for them either.  Such calls require me to put on my coaching cap and help them find the answers for themselves.

A lot of the frustration often centers around the limited time they have for themselves and their families.  Others in the church can go to a ball game on Sunday or to the beach, but they are expected to be at church.  They understand that expectation, but they also know their family needs some time to do things as well.  Being a pastor really limits what one can do on the weekends, and if that pastor is bivocational there's not a lot of opportunities to do things during the week either.  Here is where I usually ask how many weeks of vacation the church gives them, and how much of that vacation time they actually take. Most of the bivocational ministers tell me they get two weeks.  I then ask if they've ever had a sabbatical.  Some answer my question by asking what a sabbatical is while others just laugh at the suggestion.  They assure me their church would never give them a paid sabbatical because it would cost too much.

As a resource minister in our region I speak often with the churches in my area, especially when they are seeking new pastor leadership.  One of the things I am trying to get the churches to realize is that the least expensive thing they can give their pastors is time away.  Every church, and I mean every church, should be giving their pastors four weeks vacation.  Yes, I mean when that pastor first comes on the field, not after he's been there ten years or more.  What will that actually cost the church?  Very little.  The church budget is already set, and the pastor's salary is determined.  What difference does it make if he or she is there 50 weeks a year or 48?  It will still be the same salary.  Most of the small churches in my area pay $75.00 - $150.00 for someone to fill the pulpit when the pastor is away so the only real cost to the church for the pastor to get four weeks vacation instead of two weeks will be another $150.00 - $300.00 a year.  If the church can't afford that it needs to shut its doors and stop playing church.

The same math applies for sabbaticals.  I have yet to talk to a bivocational pastor, and few fully-funded ones, who have not told me their church couldn't afford to give them a three month paid sabbatical.  Let's use the same figures, and for the sake of simplicity we'll just assume the church will pay $100.00 a week for someone to fill the pulpit while the pastor is on sabbatical.  Three months is 13 weeks which is $1,300.00.  Again, the pastor's salary is already in the budget so him being paid while on sabbatical doesn't change that at all.  We're talking about $1,300.00 every seven years to give the pastor a breather and to allow him or her to relax and come back refreshed.  Again, if that will break your church it's probably time to consider closing.

Sometimes when I urge churches to do these two things for their pastors I have people push back by saying something like, "We all work, and none of us gets three months off with pay every seven years.  Why should our pastor get that?"  My response is always, "Because none of you are on call 24/7/365.  You go into work, and when your shift is over you go home and do whatever you want.  You're not called out at 2:00 am to go to the hospital or to talk with someone who is suicidal.  No matter what your pastor is doing, he or she is still the pastor of your church with all the responsibilities that entails.  That is a lot of pressure, and that extra two weeks vacation and sabbatical is a way to help him or her unwind from that pressure."

I firmly believe that one reason pastors leave their churches to seek another place to serve is that it is the only way they can get away from their pastoral responsibilities for a brief time.  It is the only way they can spend a fun weekend with their families without having to worry about what's happening at the church or feeling guilty about being away.  Maybe, pastors would not be so tempted to leave if they knew they had some extra vacation time and an upcoming sabbatical to look forward to.

Most pastors struggle advocating these things for themselves, and as a former pastor I understant that.  This is why, as a judicatory worker, I am willing to advocate for them.  In my opinion, this needs to become a priority for other denominational workers.  We need to speak up for our pastors, both bivocational and fully-funded, to help them get the time away from ministry that will help them enjoy a healthier ministry, better family relationships, and practice better self-care.

Hitting the wall

I've heard runners often talk about hitting the wall during a distance run.  There comes a time in the race when they feel they have nothing left and everything within them is screaming for them to quit.  While some runners will quit, others push through that wall and refuse to give up.  Once they get past that wall their energy seems to rise back up in them making them able to finish the race.

There often comes a time in the lives of ministers when we feel as if we've hit the wall.  We've given everything we have to give and feel drained physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  It is  during those times that the enemy comes whispering doubts and frustrations into our minds.  We've sacrificed so much for the church and ministry, and our minds begin to ask, "Why?  What difference has it made?"  The lies continue, "No one cares about me or my family.  I haven't had a decent raise in years.  Everyone else can take a Sunday off to attend a family event or a ball game, but if I even suggested I wanted to do something like that our church would have a fit."  At times, it seems like the liar is sitting on our shoulders whispering frustration and defeat into our thoughts.

This is what I call hitting the wall in the ministry, and I will confess I have been there more than once during my 30+ years in the ministry.  More than once I thought about walking away and turning my back on the call God had on my life.  I had convinced myself that nothing I was doing was making any difference anyway, so why bother.  I was tired, discouraged, angry, and despressed.  I had given everything I had to give, and it seemed I was the only one who cared.  Oh, believe me, I have thrown some great pity parties for myself, some of which lasted for weeks.  The problem with pity parties is, as Zig Ziglar used to say, no one comes to them.  We have to attend our pity parties by ourselves.

The thing we must do when such thoughts threaten to overwhelm us is to remember that they are all a lie.  We have to take our eyes off the lies and begin to refocus on what is true.  Some of the truths that has helped me get through the wall are:

• God has called me to this work.  As a bivocational minister I chose my other career, but God called me to the ministry.  That sense of being called was always a powerful weapon against the lies the enemy tried to get me to believe.  For me, I could walk away from a career.  It would be much tougher to walk away from a call of God on my life.
• What I did mattered.  For some people, it would matter for all eternity.  People's lives were changed because of the ministry I did.  I didn't touch thousands of people each week in the small, rural church I pastored, but my ministry did touch some who would have never been touched in a mega-church, and their lives were different because I helped introduce them to God and the life he had for them. 
• People did care about me and my family.  They proved it when I was approached and asked if I would agee to meet with a group of people in our church who wanted to gather every Sunday evening for a time of prayer for me and my family.  They proved it when they sent cards and notes thanking me for some act of ministry I had done for their family or sometimes just for being their pastor.  They proved it when they agreed to give me four weeks vacation instead of the two weeks so many bivocational pastors get.  They proved it again when they let me skip an occasional church activity to do something special with my family.
• I may not have received a lot of big raises, especially in my early years as the pastor of our church, but we never went hungry.  The Lord provided through my other job, and when our church's finances improved so did my salary and benefit package.  I'm certain I was one of the few bivocational ministers in our region whose church enrolled me in our denominational pension plan and paid their full share into the plan.  As I get closer to that time of retirement I am thankful for their consideration. 

Every minister will hit the wall at one time or another, and the enemy will use that time to try to drive us away from our calling.  It is vital that we refuse to listen to the lies and focus on the things that are true about our ministries.  Look at the victories that you have enjoyed in the ministry.  Look at the people's lives who are different because of how you ministered to them.  Spend time with people who will lift you up (upstairs people) instead of people who want to pull you down to their level (basement people).  At the same time, take care of yourself.  Get plenty of sleep and exercise.  Eat healthy meals.  Spend time with your family.  Practice good self-care.  If you'll do those things and focus on the positive things mentioned elsewhere you go through the wall and slam the enemy of your soul into his own wall!

If you are 35, you have 500 days to live

Christian counselor, H. Norman Wright, talks about how we spend our time in his book Success over Stress: 12 Ways to Take Back Your Life.  He mentions an article with the eye-catching title that is the same as this post.  Most people would hope that they have more than 500 days to live, but what the article was saying was that if we take away the time we spend at work, caring for our personal hygiene, eating, traveling, sleeping, and the odd chores each of us have to do there are about 500 days in our lives left to do the things we want to do.  Now, I have no way of knowing how the author determined that or if he or she is even correct, but it does remind us of the brevity of our lives.  Ps. 90:12 says, "Teach us to number our days and recognize how few they are; help us to spend them as we should."

Each of us have 24 hours in a day. At the end of each day those hours are lost forever.  Many of those hours are already committed for such necessities as sleeping, eating, etc., but we can still determine what we will do in the remainder of the time we have each day.  Most of us will choose to invest a portion of those hours in our work, but that still leaves some discretionary time.  The question each of us must determine is how we will use that discretionary time.  Will we spend it or invest it?

Spending time includes such things as watching television.  There is nothing wrong with watching some television, but according to Wright the average American who reaches the age of 72 will have spent 12 years of his or her life watching television.  Is that how you want to spend 1/6 of your life?  Spending time in the 21st century includes the hours we spend on social media and on the computer, and for some people that is an enormous amount of time.  Wright tells us that the average American will spend eight months of hir or her life opening junk mail and another two years talking on the telephone.  I know some who will spend far more than that on the telephone!  He mentions several more ways we spend time, but this is enough for you to get the picture.  When someone says he or she doesn't have the time to do something that usually isn't true.  They simply decide to spend their time doing other things.

Investing time is far different than spending time.  Investing time includes spending time with family and friends making memories that will last far longer than we will.  We invest time when we read a good book that helps us grow as individuals or take a class that challenges our thinking.  We invest time when we spend it with a child helping them explore and learn new things about their world.  We invest time when we reach out to those who need to know Jesus Christ in a personal way.  Of course, we invest time when we spend it with God in Bible reading, worship, and prayer.  Spending time is doing things for the moment; investing time leaves a legacy and makes a difference in the lives of people.

How will you use the 24 hours God gives you today?  Will you spend it or invest it?  BTW- investing it will help reduce the stress that many of us feel each day, and that is why Wright wrote the book.