Hitting the wall

I've heard runners often talk about hitting the wall during a distance run.  There comes a time in the race when they feel they have nothing left and everything within them is screaming for them to quit.  While some runners will quit, others push through that wall and refuse to give up.  Once they get past that wall their energy seems to rise back up in them making them able to finish the race.

There often comes a time in the lives of ministers when we feel as if we've hit the wall.  We've given everything we have to give and feel drained physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  It is  during those times that the enemy comes whispering doubts and frustrations into our minds.  We've sacrificed so much for the church and ministry, and our minds begin to ask, "Why?  What difference has it made?"  The lies continue, "No one cares about me or my family.  I haven't had a decent raise in years.  Everyone else can take a Sunday off to attend a family event or a ball game, but if I even suggested I wanted to do something like that our church would have a fit."  At times, it seems like the liar is sitting on our shoulders whispering frustration and defeat into our thoughts.

This is what I call hitting the wall in the ministry, and I will confess I have been there more than once during my 30+ years in the ministry.  More than once I thought about walking away and turning my back on the call God had on my life.  I had convinced myself that nothing I was doing was making any difference anyway, so why bother.  I was tired, discouraged, angry, and despressed.  I had given everything I had to give, and it seemed I was the only one who cared.  Oh, believe me, I have thrown some great pity parties for myself, some of which lasted for weeks.  The problem with pity parties is, as Zig Ziglar used to say, no one comes to them.  We have to attend our pity parties by ourselves.

The thing we must do when such thoughts threaten to overwhelm us is to remember that they are all a lie.  We have to take our eyes off the lies and begin to refocus on what is true.  Some of the truths that has helped me get through the wall are:

• God has called me to this work.  As a bivocational minister I chose my other career, but God called me to the ministry.  That sense of being called was always a powerful weapon against the lies the enemy tried to get me to believe.  For me, I could walk away from a career.  It would be much tougher to walk away from a call of God on my life.
• What I did mattered.  For some people, it would matter for all eternity.  People's lives were changed because of the ministry I did.  I didn't touch thousands of people each week in the small, rural church I pastored, but my ministry did touch some who would have never been touched in a mega-church, and their lives were different because I helped introduce them to God and the life he had for them. 
• People did care about me and my family.  They proved it when I was approached and asked if I would agee to meet with a group of people in our church who wanted to gather every Sunday evening for a time of prayer for me and my family.  They proved it when they sent cards and notes thanking me for some act of ministry I had done for their family or sometimes just for being their pastor.  They proved it when they agreed to give me four weeks vacation instead of the two weeks so many bivocational pastors get.  They proved it again when they let me skip an occasional church activity to do something special with my family.
• I may not have received a lot of big raises, especially in my early years as the pastor of our church, but we never went hungry.  The Lord provided through my other job, and when our church's finances improved so did my salary and benefit package.  I'm certain I was one of the few bivocational ministers in our region whose church enrolled me in our denominational pension plan and paid their full share into the plan.  As I get closer to that time of retirement I am thankful for their consideration. 

Every minister will hit the wall at one time or another, and the enemy will use that time to try to drive us away from our calling.  It is vital that we refuse to listen to the lies and focus on the things that are true about our ministries.  Look at the victories that you have enjoyed in the ministry.  Look at the people's lives who are different because of how you ministered to them.  Spend time with people who will lift you up (upstairs people) instead of people who want to pull you down to their level (basement people).  At the same time, take care of yourself.  Get plenty of sleep and exercise.  Eat healthy meals.  Spend time with your family.  Practice good self-care.  If you'll do those things and focus on the positive things mentioned elsewhere you go through the wall and slam the enemy of your soul into his own wall!