Overcoming failure

 There is no one who has not failed at something in their lifetimes. Most of us have failed at many things. The only way to avoid failure is to never do anything, but the minute you begin something new you stand the chance at failing. Sometimes failure makes us afraid to attempt new things in our lives. Perhaps a failed relationship makes us fearful of entering into another relationship. A failed business may keep us from starting another one. Sometimes churches try something new that doesn't work well, and this makes them reluctant to try anything else new. In order to succeed in life we have to learn how to overcome failure.

Perhaps the best way to overcome failure is to not take it personally. Zig Ziglar used to say that failure was an event, not a person. Failing at something doesn't make you a failure; it means you are human. If we can learn to separate the event from the person the failure can be less damaging to us personally.

It's also important to recognize that failure is not permanent. Failure is simply one attempt at doing something that did not work out as you thought, but that does not mean that there may not be other ways to accomplish the thing you want to do. Failure is only final if you refuse to learn from it and quit. Failures can teach us many things if we are willing to learn them, and then we can apply those lessons to the next thing we attempt. I learned many things from a failed business a few years ago which I'm applying to a current business. I will not make the same mistakes again.

One of the lessons we can learn from our failures is that we do not know everything. Regular readers of this blog know that I'm a big fan of Dave Ramsey and his financial advice. You don't have to listen to his radio program long before you realize that many people keep making the same financial mistakes over and over again. When a person calls his program they are admitting they don't know how to manage their money and want to learn how to do it right. But, think of the millions of people who continue to struggle financially who never consider there might be a better way to manage their money. Recognizing that you do not know everything you need to know about a problem is a good first step in solving it.

Some of our failures come in our personal lives. We fail to be the people we know we should be. The Bible tells us that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. That reminds us that we have all failed at different points in our lives. The good news is that God is the God of second chances, and third chances, and fourth chances. He never gives up on us. He is always ready to forgive when we ask for His forgiveness, and He can help us overcome those areas in our lives that gives us the most problems. Don't ever give up on yourself because you've failed at some aspect of your personal life. God hasn't given up on you, and you shouldn't either.

Traditions

 I can't remember when we first watched The Grinch on television. It may have been in 1966 when it first came out. I do remember my wife and I sitting in a motel room around 1968 watching it on the TV. I was in the Navy and could not come home for Christmas. She flew out to California for a week to spend Christmas with me, and we watched the Christmas specials together. We've never failed to watch The Grinch since then. When it came on the other night our daughter called to make sure we knew it was on so we quickly changed the channel to watch it.

At one point I mentioned to my wife that there was one scene that used to be the spot for the commercial break, but they had taken the commercial break a little sooner. Another point in the show I noticed that one scene had been cut out. We laughed at how we had watched this show so many times we recognized the small changes between this presentation and previous ones.

We are thankful for the traditions that our family has developed over the years. Those traditions are special only to our family, but they serve to remind us of the years we've spent together. Traditions become glue that binds a family together. They are the memories one has of the past that brings a smile to the face and become the stories that are told when a loved one passes.

My wife's family had a tradition on Thanksgiving morning. The men in her family went rabbit hunting on her father's farm. That tradition is no more. I am the only one still alive from that tradition, but I can assure you that early on this past Thanksgiving morning I thought about those mornings we would all gather for our annual hunt. It brought back a lot of happy memories.

I hope your family has some traditions that you observe on a regular basis. Even the ones that seem rather insignificant can result in some great memories and become part of your legacy. While some traditions will change over time, new ones can be created to take their place.

One tradition that every family needs is to attend church regularly. While Christmas specials and rabbit hunts can become wonderful traditions, nothing will impact your family's life more than being involved in your local church. A loving congregation committed to a relationship with Jesus Christ and to one another will be a source of comfort and transformation.

If attending and being involved in a church is not part of your family's traditions, I encourage you to consider making it so in the coming year.

2000th blog post

 This article marks the 2,000th post I've made on this blog. For many bloggers that is not a huge number, but I'm sure there are many people who cannot believe I would have 2,000 things to discuss! Frankly, I didn't realize I had written that many posts until I happened to see the number on my screen.

While the posts have covered a number of different items, most have focused on challenges and opportunities facing the small and bivocational church and those who lead these churches. I have always been, and always will be, an advocate for the smaller church. While there is nothing wrong with larger churches, I am convinced the smaller church can offer things that may be missing in the larger ones. For many people, a smaller church is simply a better fit. There is a sense of family and community commonly found in the smaller church that many are looking for. It is easier to provide personal pastoral care to individuals in the smaller church. Often, people are more engaged in ministry in the smaller church than they might be in a larger one. After all, it's pretty hard to hide in a smaller church. The list of things the smaller church can offer would include much more than I have space to list here.

With my commitment to the smaller church I am also committed to those who lead such churches, especially those serving in bivocational roles. For much of my bivocational pastorate there were few good resources available. I'm excited that has changed dramatically in the past two decades. Books, journal articles, doctoral theses are now available that focus specifically on bivocational ministry. Some schools and seminaries now offer programs especially developed for persons planning to enter bivocational ministry. There are also a growing number of ministers who do plan to serve in that capacity. I cannot tell you how rewarding this is to me.

I've now served in ministry for 40 years. Not everything I've seen change in ministry has been good, but some have. As I continue to view the church world I see many more changes coming, and I am certain there are far more I cannot see. I do believe God is doing a new thing in His church, and as we make the transition to whatever that might be it will be a glorious thing. After all, this is God's church, and no power will prevent it from accomplishing His purposes for it.

Addicts in the church

 Many of the stories one hears about addicts and the difficulties they have seem to focus on those who are homeless, without families, living in poverty and usually outside the church. However, it is likely that there are people sitting in our congregations every week who are addicts. They go to work every day, they are involved in church activities, they appear to have solid families, and it seems they have their lives together. However, they are still addicts. What can your church do to minister to them?

When you first hear the term addict you may immediately think of someone addicted to drugs or alcohol. Yes, you may have some of those folks in your church, but we need realize that a person can be addicted to many things that, in themselves, may not be harmful but still present a challenge to live a God-honoring life.

For instance, many people are addicted to shopping. They practice what I often call "retail therapy." I know one faithful Christian lady whose house was overflowing with things she had bought late at night on a TV shopping channel. She didn't have one of something; she had 10-12 of the same item, all in the original package. A family member told me they had hauled several dumpsters of things out before selling the rest at auction. I do not know what battles this lady had, but it seems she was trying to overcome those battles with a shopping addiction.

A very common addiction today is to social media and electronics. The amount of time people spend on social media and their electronic devices is staggering. In my book Is Your Church Ready for Ministry in the Coming Decade? I share some statistics that demonstrate how prevalent this addiction is. While it might be found more in younger people, it affects people of all generations.

The list of potential addictions is endless and would include many things which are not harmful in themselves. One of the dangers of addictions is that they take our focus away from God and place it on the things we desire more. In effect, these addictions become our gods. We bow down to them and worship them. We become devoted to them. They take over our lives. The rob us of the best God desires for us.

I included a chapter on addictions in the above mentioned book because I do not find many churches addressing the problem except as it relates to alcohol, drugs, pornography and other harmful behaviors. Yet, studies indicate that there are many in our churches who have no problem with those things but are addicts nonetheless. We need to offer these individuals help as well. Satan uses these addictions to pull people away from God, and we need to let them know that and help them break those addictions.

The book includes several other ministry needs that are taking on more importance as we continue through the 21st century. It is available only as an eBook and is being well received by church leaders. As we enter into a new year it's my hope the church becomes more intentional about addressing the challenges people are facing and helping them find biblical solutions to those challenges.

Young people have questions the church needs to answer

 Many reasons are given as to why many young people leave the church. Each young person has his or her own reasons for walking away from the church if not the faith, but one reason seems to come up quite often. No one was willing to answer their questions. As I was discussing this with one group a young teen spoke up and said that was her experience in her youth group. She's a pretty sharp young lady who is not afraid to ask questions, but she said her questions were mostly ignored by the youth leaders which made her feel like she was being ignored as well.

Some pastors and leaders seem to take the approach that because they say something further discussion is unnecessary and unwelcomed. In such an environment, young people might decide it's not safe to ask their questions, but they are also planning to leave that environment as soon as possible. In the past we often focused on the number of young people who left the church when they went to college and thought that experience was the reason. Recent studies have found that young people who left the church made the decision to do so during their high school years if not earlier. Perhaps for family reasons they could not do so, but they had decided long before leaving for college that the church was not in their future plans. For some of those young people, the fact that they could not safely ask their questions about the Christian faith and the church was the determining factor for that decision.

Some of these questions revolve around science. Some studies have found that over half of young people in youth groups plan a career in a science-related field. There has been a long history of distrust between science and faith, and in too many churches that distrust has been heightened by statements from the pulpit and from other church leaders and from many in the science community. Yet, there are many, many well-respected scientists who are strong Christian people. The church needs to hear those voices, and especially the young people planning a career in science needs to hear those voices. We do not need to fear questions about science. In fact, we should welcome them if we want to help our young people be able to connect their faith with their careers.

Other questions might concern lifestyle choices. Many today have questions about authority which would naturally lead to why we should accept the Bible as authoritative. In our pluralistic society there will be questions about some of the exclusive claims of Christianity. Is Jesus truly the only way to God? Again, we should welcome those questions, and many more, and be ready to engage in discussions with those raising them.

We cannot refuse to answer the questions our young people are asking without risking them turning away from the faith and the church. We've already lost too many for this reason. Such questions will help both the questioner and the ones providing answers grow in their faith and as disciples.

The impossible ministry

 Several years ago while serving as a regional minister for our denomination we found ourselves in a financial pinch. The economy was down, many of our churches were struggling financially and were contributing less to the denomination. As our staff retired they were not being replaced. Those of us who continued to serve were given the responsibilities of those who had retired. As this began, I had less than 90 churches in my area, but this grew to over 130. The geographical area I covered doubled causing me to spend a lot more time on the road. As this began, a member of our personal committee told me that I had been given an impossible task but to do the best I could and not get discouraged when I couldn't do everything I had done before.

I think about this as I read about the numbers of pastors who are frustrated with ministry and thinking about leaving. Ministry was already tough in our postmodern world, and the challenges of Covid made it even more difficult. One young pastor told me he had just gone to his first church when Covid happened, and nothing in his training had prepared him for all the decisions that needed to be made. That would be true even for those of us who have been in ministry for a number of years, but I'm sure it was even more challenging for him.

Ministry is difficult, and in many ways, impossible. Every pastor faces expectations that can never be met. Most of us do not get into trouble for not meeting the requirements of our job description. We get into trouble when we fail to meet the expectations of the people in our congregations. As I've told many pastor gatherings, in a church of 50 people there will be 50 different unwritten job descriptions, and in many of our churches there might be 51 because we'll have at least one person somewhat schizophrenic! It is impossible to meet everyone's expectations. So what do we do?

First, we have to remember that we are called by God to do His work. While the church's expectations are not to be ignored, our first responsibility is to the task God has given us. We may not be able to do that if we are running around like a stray dog at a whistler's convention trying to satisfy everyone's expectations.

Secondly, we have to work as much as possible within the areas of our giftedness. Notice I said as much as possible. I know the areas in which God has gifted me, and I am much more effective as long as I work within those areas. However, there are times when I must step outside those areas to handle necessary tasks. I try to minimize that as much as possible, but every pastor will find times when it necessary.

Thirdly, we have to stay true to our priorities. Some churches still expect pastors to ignore their family needs to be available to them 24/7/365. We need to be very clear about our priorities and make sure everyone else is clear as to what they are.

Finally, we must realize that everything does not depend on us. The cemeteries are full of indispensable people, and somehow life went on even when they were gone. This is God's work. We partner with Him for the time He gives us with our particular ministry. Horizontally or vertically, one day we will leave our current ministry, and if the Lord tarries another will take our place. While we are there we are simply called to do the best we can do with the Lord's help.

That period of denominational ministry was often impossible. There were times of frustration when it seemed overwhelming, but one can only do what one can do. When I retired from that ministry I did so feeling good about what had been accomplished. New people were called in to continue the work, and they have done very well. God is working with them just as He did with me, and good things are happening.

Don't let ministry beat you up. Stay faithful to the work God has given you. Do the best you can do and leave the rest to Him. One day you'll be rewarded when you hear Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant...."