Secrets and church health

While serving as a regional minister in our judicatory one of my churches had a series of pastoral changes in a short period of time. I found out from the second pastor that the leadership had fired him but told him to announce he was resigning, and they would provide him with a severance package. I heard the story and called the pastor to confirm it. He admitted it was true but begged me to not say anything because he and his family were able to live in the parsonage while he sought another church. I had previously heard similar stories about this church and its board.

To protect this pastor I waited until he moved to another church and left the parsonage before calling the head of the lay leadership. I asked if what I had been told was true, and he admitted it was. I then said that I felt this church had a lot of secrets that were being kept from the membership. After a long pause he admitted this was also true. He had just assumed his leadership position and assured me he was going to address it.

One of the problems in keeping secrets is that they really do not remain secrets for very long. People know when things are not right. I retired soon after this event occurred in this church and do not know how the church is doing today, but at the time they had lost over half of their congregation. I told that lay leader something I've told many congregations: A CHURCH IS ONLY AS HEALTHY AS THE SECRETS IT KEEPS.

How many churches have covered up pastoral affairs "for the sake of the ministry?" How many have covered up financial irregularities for the same supposed reason? How many church boards have fired the pastor and bribed him or her with financial incentives to announce to the congregation that they felt "led by the Lord to take another church?"

I repeat that a church will only be as healthy as the secrets it keeps. Some churches have a lot of bodies buried, and I'm not referring to the graveyard that surrounds the church. Board meetings are filled with anger, tension and fear that people will learn the secrets that are being maintained. 

When I was first saved I was a member of a church where the leaders wanted the pastor out. It was not uncommon to see the deacons and the pastor go into a room after a Sunday morning service for a meeting. After a few months, the pastor left. Sometime later I was chosen to be a deacon in that church and was elected secretary. When I received the secretary's record book I thought I would finally find out what went on in those meetings. However, when I opened the book I found that all the pages from that time period had been torn out. The church was not a healthy church, and it still wasn't when I left a couple of years later.

An unhealthy church can never be a growing church, and if it did grow, it would grow to be even more unhealthy. When people walk into an unhealthy church, they can feel the tension. While they may not know what's going on, they know something is not right in this church. 

It's never easy to publicly announce misconduct when it occurs, but it's necessary. Like a doctor telling patient he or she has cancer, it's not easy for the doctor but the patient must know there's a problem, and there's a treatment plan. As painful as it might be for a congregation to hear there's a problem, it's far better to announce it and offer a plan to address it. I will repeat: A church is only as healthy as the secrets it keeps. 

The greatest need of the church today

Many books have been written recently about all the things today's church needs in order to stop its decline. No one questions that it is in decline. It is decline in both numbers and in its influence on our society. Thousands of churches close their doors every year. Growing numbers of people report no religious affiliation. Self-professed Christians struggle to hold to worldviews that are any different than those of their unchurched neighbors. Many church members are biblically illiterate unable to defend their faith or understand or recognize basic biblical teaching. Any way you look at it, this all represents church decline. So, what is it that the church needs most to turn this around? My answer to that question is that the church is in great need of pastor-theologians.

In the early days of our nation's history church many pastors were recognized as true theologians. Men like Jonathan Edwards, Samuel Hopkins and others were trained theologians serving as pastors of their churches. As a result, they were able to provide intellectual leadership to many of the issues of their day and provide theologically rich teaching to their congregations.

Unfortunately, this began to change. Theologians abandoned the pastoral ministry for the universities and seminaries. In their book, The Pastor Theologian: Resurrecting an Ancient Vision, Gerald Hiestand and Todd Wilson explain, "As theologians moved from churches to universities, the theological red-blood-cell count within the pastoral community, and within congregations, fell markedly. No longer is the pastoral community as a whole able to provide serious intellectual leadership for the crucial issues facing the church....It should not surprise us that the near-universal removal of our theologians from the pastorate has resulted in a deep and chronic theological deficit within our congregations."

Pastors are expected to perform many tasks within their churches. I've often said that if a church has 50 members there are 50 different job descriptions for the pastor. In addition, there is the job description the pastor holds for himself or herself. Too often, trying to fulfill all those expectations keeps the pastor from the most important task a pastor has: preparing and preaching messages that offers theological answers to the needs of our people and society.

There are pastors who take this task too far and refuse to do any pastoral ministry such as provide leadership at church leadership meetings or do pastoral visitation. They want to spend all their time in their studies limiting contact with the members of their churches and communities as much as possible. Unless we are with people at their point of need how can we minister to them? Can we teach the love of God best in a 30-minute sermon on Sunday morning or by sitting with a family during a time of loss trying to theologically answer some of their toughest questions? I believe the pastor-theologian will be with people as much as he or she is studying the Scriptures.

These are difficult times we are living in. People have a lot of questions that deserve more than the pat answers that come from politicians, the media and too many pulpits. They need answers that are grounded in sound theology, and if they can't get those answers from their pastors where can they get them?

If you are a pastor, someone considering the pastorate or a church member whose church is seeking new pastoral leadership, I recommend the above book. I've also found helpful Pastor as Public Theologian by Kevin J. Vanhoozer and Owen Strachan.

Sharing the work

A pastor friend of mine recently wrote of the challenges he has in trying to balance the various things he needs to do. This is especially a problem felt by bivocational ministers, but it's one that affects all ministers. As he wrote, trying to serve the church, be an active presence in the community and be present with his family makes it hard to maintain a sense of balance.

We will never find a balance in life and ministry if we never learn to share the work with other people. For too many years we have emphasized a pastoral care model of ministry that isn't biblical, expects too much of our clergy and ignores the gifts God has given others in our congregations.

God has given gifts to every believer which are to be used to serve others. When the pastor reserves ministry for himself or herself that pastor is robbing others of the joy of service. Such a pastor keeps the church from being the church and deprives individuals from using the gifts God has given them.

A more biblical model of ministry has the pastor and other ordained persons in the church equipping the saints for the work of ministry. Our role as pastors is not to try to figure out how to get everything done. Our role is to help equip all those in our churches to be engaged in ministry using the gifts they have been given.

In my pastoral seminars I often tell people that no matter how talented and gifted their pastor might be, he or she can only be in one place at a time doing one thing at a time. However, if there are 50 people in the congregation who see themselves as ministers and who have been equipped to use their gifts you now have 50 people in 50 places doing ministry. Which is going to be most effective for the Kingdom of God? The answer is a mathematical one. Do you prefer 1X1 or 50X1? I'll give you a hint: the most effective will be the one with the most people involved.

As we enter a new year let's take a look at how ministry is being done in our churches. Are we expecting the pastor to take the lead in doing ministry, or are we expecting the pastor to help equip us to do ministry? Your answer will tell a lot about what the future holds for your church.

When you leave your church, leave

Although it was 15 years ago I resigned from the church I was serving to accept the call to a new ministry, I still remember that last Sunday well. For twenty years I had served as the bivocational pastor of that small, rural church. Those people had become my friends and family. I knew beyond a doubt that God was calling me to leave for a new opportunity, but it wasn't going to be easy.

When I announced I was leaving I asked for six weeks in order to share some messages I hoped would make the transition easier. The church constitution called for four weeks, but the church readily agreed to give me the other two weeks. I talked to them about the changes they should expect and the importance of taking their time to search for a new pastor.

The messages went well, but that last Sunday was rough. As I shared my love for them and my appreciation for all we had been through I included these words. "In a few minutes I will walk out that door. I will always be your friend, but I can never be your pastor again. I will not come back to do your weddings or your funerals. That is how your next pastor will become your pastor and not just someone preaching each week. The only way I will even consider being part of a wedding or funeral is if your pastor asks me to, and then it will just be a supportive role."

On the way home my wife said she wished I had not said those words. She could see the pain they caused on people's faces when they heard them. I reminded her that pastoral ethics requires that a pastor not interfere in the life of a church he or she has left. Since we were still living in the same community it would be hard enough, but I had to tell the people clearly that I was no longer their pastor.

Within a year there was both a wedding and a funeral for people who were very close to me. Their families honored my request and had their new pastor perform those ceremonies. I did attend the funeral viewing the evening before, but I did not attend either the wedding or the funeral.

Every year I receive at least one call from a pastor saying that a former pastor is returning to do funerals or weddings or interfering in some other way in the life of the church. This is not only unethical, it is very disruptive to the church. A pastor only becomes the pastor when he or she is involved in the lives of the congregation. When a former pastor returns to do weddings and funerals or otherwise interferes in church business it makes it very difficult for the new pastor to ever be recognized as the pastor.

If God has called you to leave a church, then leave. If He wanted you to continue to minister to that congregation He would never have called you away. Respect your former congregation and their new pastor by refusing to accept invitations to return. There will be enough homecomings or other special events that will give you an opportunity to renew old acquaintances, but even then remember you are a guest there and not the pastor. When you leave a church be ethical enough to leave.

The loneliness of ministry

One of the stresses of ministry is the feeling that many of us have of being alone. It is a fact that much of what we do is done when we are alone. Sermon preparation is often done alone as we spend hours researching our text and preparing our message. When we counsel others we are often told things that we cannot share with other people including our spouses. We may have to make decisions based on information that others do not have. We are not always free to reveal that information to other people even when we are criticized for the decisions we made. We endure the criticism alone.

This sense of being alone can have devastating effects on us and our families. If a person believes that he or she has no one to talk to it can create enough stress in our lives to change our body chemistry and cause depression. This is known as endogenous depression and can be difficult to diagnose and treat because it may not occur until after the stressors are gone.

Loneliness can lead one to leave the ministry. One study found that feeling alone and isolated was one of the top four reasons clergy gave for leaving the ministry.

Loneliness has also been connected to sexual addictions and misconduct. A study found that 75 percent of the people who left the ministry due to misconduct indicated that they were lonely and felt isolated from others.

Anything that stresses us will also cause problems in our families. We don't walk out of the church office and flip off the STRESS switch. That stress goes home with us and impacts how we relate to family members.

What can we do to reduce the pressure of feeling alone? There are several that I discuss in my book The Healthy Pastor: Easing the Pressures of Ministry. One entire chapter is related to this problem, and the material in this post comes from that chapter. Here I will just list the suggestions made in the book for easing the stress of feeling alone.

• Regardless of the size of church, every pastor needs to develop a ministry team to help share the burden of leadership.
• Pastors need a prayer team who will meet with him or her on a regular basis to pray specifically for the pastor and the pastor's family.
• We need to identify trusted colleagues with whom we can meet. This may be other pastors, a denominational leader, a coach, or a trained counselor the pastor sees on a regular basis.
• There was a time when it was assumed a pastor would have a spiritual director. Few pastors have such a person in their lives now. Such a person could be a valuable ally to help us overcome our sense of loneliness.
• We must never forget that we are never truly alone as God is always with us. A sense of being alone may indicate that we need to spend more time in prayer.

For more help with this pressure, and many others that pastors experience, I encourage you to read this book. You do not have to endure the various pressures you may feel in ministry alone. There are ways to address each of them. We may not be able to eliminate them, but we can certainly reduce the stress they cause us.

Pastors and the call to a ministry

As a Resource Minister in our region, one of my responsibilities is to assist our churches when they are seeking a new pastor.  I also work with pastors seeking a new place to serve.  While it is exciting to work with churches and pastors during this transitional time in their lives, there are some disturbing trends that I've noticed in the past few years.  One of those trends is the reason the pastors give for wanting to move to a new church.

Virtually every month I'll receive at least one call from a pastor who wants to relocate in our region.  The reason most often given is that they have family in the area and want to be closer to them.  I can understand that.  We have one child living two hours away and another one about ten hours away.  We would love to see them and our grandchildren more than we do.  And, I can also accept the fact that sometimes God may call us to serve in a place closer to family.  My problem is that this is nearly the only reason people give for wanting to make a move.  It seems that many clergy persons today have replaced a sense of calling with a desire for convenience.

During my two decades as pastor at Hebron Baptist Church I was contacted by numerous pastor search committees.  During one 18 month stretch an average of one church a week called me asking for an interview.  I think in all that time I interviewed with less than five churches because I never sensed that God was calling me to leave my present ministry.  Why talk with another church if God hasn't released me from where I'm serving?  When I did agree to meet for an interview it was because I began to wonder if I was missing God's leading, but after each interview I knew I was to stay where I was.

It was sometime during my 18th year at the church that I began to believe that my time there was drawing to an end.  Two years passed while I waited to see what doors God would open, and was quite surprised to find that it was in the role I have today.  I assumed it would be another pastorate but learned God had other plans.  When the opportunity was presented to me I had no doubt that God was calling me to leave my pastorate and that he was calling me to this position.  Nothing else entered into the decision except my wife's and my confidence that this was God's call on my life.

Ministers make a big mistake when they change churches and ministry positions based on anything except a confidence that God is leading them to make the change.  Now...God often gets the credit (or blame) for their decision, but I'm not convinced that God is actually behind many of those changes.  A pastor begins his ministry at a new church and announces how excited he or she is that God has called them to this place only to announce three years later that God has led him or her to another church.  For too many ministers this process is repeated ten or twelve times during their ministries.  I just don't believe God is that confused about where they are to serve!

Such ministers seldom accomplish anything of lasting value anywhere they serve.  When they retire they can't look back over a 30 year ministry; they can only look back at a string of three year ministries and find there is little to celebrate.

When God calls a minister to a place of service it will be for an extended period of time in most cases.  One exception to this is the person called to interim ministry who God will call to a place for two or three years while he or she helps the church prepare for a new pastor, and there may be other exceptions as well.  But, for most of us we need to pray and seek God's call to a place of ministry where we can put down roots and serve until we are convinced that he has called us to another ministry.  We need to be honestly seeking God's call to a place of ministry and not simply seek one to satisfy our own personal wishes and our convenience.

More churches are calling bivocational ministers.

A story was making the rounds yesterday about a seminary trained pastor who had applied to nearly 100 churches and was unable to find a position as a fully-funded pastor.  You can read the story here.  He asked a question that many recent seminary graduates are now asking:  Why didn't someone explain this new reality before he incurred so much student loan debt preparing for ministry?

The reality is that bivocational ministry is growing across denominational lines.  Four years ago I was on sabbatical, and for my project I contacted leaders from nine different denominations.  I asked each of them what was happening with bivocational ministry in their denomination, what they believed would happen in the future, how were they training these bivocational ministers, and what were they doing to help persons recognize they were called to this ministry.  Every single person reported that the numbers of bivocational ministers were growing in their denomination, they each believed those numbers would continue to grow, most had some forms of training available, and they really didn't have a way to help people identify this call on their lives.

More and more I receive calls and e-mails from fully-funded pastors telling me they believe they will soon have to become bivocational or find another church to serve.  They are frightened.  In some cases they recognize that there are not a lot of fully-funded churches looking for pastors.  Others confess they really don't know what they could do since the only thing they've ever been trained to do is ministry.  Some are carrying large amounts of debt they aren't sure how they will pay off.  Virtually all of them are concerned how this transition would impact their families.

Denominations and seminaries need to recognize this new reality and begin to address the changes they need to make to prepare these new leaders.  Many denominations still focus most of their attention on their larger churches and often ignore their smaller, bivocational churches.  For some of these denominations that means they will neglect up to a third of their churches, and that number is going to grow.  Ignoring that many of their churches, they should not be surprised at the declining financial support they receive from their churches.  They should also not be surprised at the number of these churches that eventually withdraw from the denomination.

Seminaries are still training clergy as if every one of them are going to be the pastor of a large, fully-funded church.  Too many seminaries, and denominations, still believe that the Master of Divinity degree is a necessity for every pastor.  Quite frankly, much of what is taught in the standard MDiv program will never be helpful to most bivocational ministers.  Many of the MA programs now offered by some seminaries will often be much more practical for the average bivocational minister and cost them much less money.

Of course, many bivocational ministers will never pursue a seminary degree.  If we believe that a trained clergy is important then denominations and seminaries must work together to develop training opportunities for these folks.  These courses must be offered at times and locations convenient to the schedule of the bivocational minister.  Some of these can be online for maximum convenience.

We are not entering a new time of church leadership; we are already there.  We just need to admit that the number of fully-funded ministry positions is declining and more churches are looking for bivocational leadership and begin to make the adjustments needed to reflect this reality.

Pastors need to cut back on the whining

For twenty years I served as a bivocational pastor of a small, rural church.  For the past 13 years I have served as a regional minister in our denomination working with dozens of churches.  I have led numerous workshops and conferences that focused on small churches and their leaders, and I have heard tales of clergy being horribly treated by members of their congregations and have seen first-hand how poorly some of my clergy friends have been treated.  Two of the books I've written focus on clergy health issues.  I am well aware of the unfairness that sometimes goes along with serving in ministry positions and the pressures ministers and their families face.

Despite all this, I still want to say that some of our clergy needs to cut back on their constant whining about how poorly they are treated and how difficult their lives are.  I hear from pastors about how underpaid they are, and many of us are underpaid compared to what others with comparable education and responsibilities earn, but did you go into the ministry thinking you would become rich?  Historically, most ministers have been underpaid.  However, I would also insist that some of that is our own fault.  Many of us are reluctant to ask for better compensation.  We don't tell our church leadership about the struggles our inadequate income causes our families.  Instead we tell one another, people who can't do anything about it.  In some situations, if we asked for higher salaries we may run the risk of being fired.  I realize that, and that is one more reason I remained bivocational!  But, I would counter that by saying that if you're fired for pointing out that the church isn't paying you a fair salary you now have the opportunity to find a position that will pay you better.  That might be better than remaining at the church and doing a slow burn over what you feel is unfair compensation.

In my position I hear from a lot of pastors who complain that people in their church oppose every change they propose.  (Believe me, I had some of their family members in the church I served as well.)  Of course they are against it.  You're suggesting change, and a large percentage of people will be against any change the first time they hear it.  In a smaller church they are afraid the change may result in the loss of people, and these are persons with whom they have gone to church for years and even decades.  They don't want to lose those relationships.  They also are not sure how your proposed changes will impact their roles in the church or if they will even have a role.  It takes time to introduce significant change into a church so that it will be accepted by most of the people, and there is an art to doing this as well.  Instead of complaining that people don't like your recommendations, learn the art of leading change and be willing to invest the time it takes for your recommendations to be accepted.

Another complaint I often hear from pastors is that they are always on call and never have any personal time.  Sorry, but that goes with the territory.  People get sick and even die at inconvenient times.  Accidents happen without being on a schedule.  That's why they are called accidents.  If you have been called to be a shepherd then you need to be there when your sheep need you.  If you want a 9-5 job you probably need to put in an application at the local factory.  BTW - I never hear pastors complain about having the freedom to attend a day event at their child's school or being able to spend a day with the spouse shopping in a nearby city while the church members are working their 9-5 jobs.  Yes, there are occasions that ministry seems to require a lot of time, but there are also those down times when we can enjoy some free time to do things with our families that others can't always do.  I've found it balances out.

Some of you will challenge me and say that you're working at the church seven days a week and you never have any free time.  Two things: that's sin and it's your fault.  The Bible talks about the Sabbath and no where in there does it say that clergy are exempt from having a Sabbath.  There came a time when I found that I was not taking a Sabbath, and I confessed that to our church and defined for them when my Sabbath would occur.  (It was Mondays.)  Believe it or not, they honored that throughout my remaining years in that church.  Also, if you are doing church work seven days a week it is your fault.  Dr. Phil is right when he says we teach people how to treat us.  If your congregation expects you to work seven days a week it's because either you or a previous minister have taught them by example to have that expectation.  Don't complain about it.  Begin to teach them that you need time to refresh yourself and your relationship with God and your family, and do it.

A final common complaint I often hear from pastors is that very few people in their churches are willing to do anything.  My advice is simple.  Ride the horses that want to run.  You can't make a dead horse run any faster by whipping it.  Instead of whining about the people who won't do anything, invest yourself in those who are willing.  You love the others and pastor them, but you have to invest yourself in the ones who are going to move the church forward.

As a pastor I spent too much time whining about things that would not change instead of focusing on the things that would make a positive difference in the life of our church and my own life as well.  I see too many other pastors making the same mistake in their own ministries.  Whining about things that won't change won't do anything but distract you from seeing the positive aspects of ministry life.  We are called to the greatest opportunity that exists.  We are invited into people's lives at a time when many of them are vulnerable and need someone to provide them with guidance and grace.  Much of what we do doesn't seem to make much difference, but there are those other times when we see people's lives radically transformed through the grace of Jesus Christ.  Those times can make all the difficult times fade away if we will just allow ourselves to focus on those positive moments that happen in and through our ministries.

Watch out for the little foxes

In Song of Solomon 2:15 we read that it is the little foxes that spoil the vines.  In biblical times the vineyard keepers had to watch for the foxes to prevent them from destroying the vineyards.  The principle behind this for us today is that it is often little things that create huge problems if left unattended.  This week I've battled some "little foxes" that were not huge issues, but they were a major distraction and source of frustration,

Ants.  Our wet spring has brought the ants in the house.  Leave an empty Coke can on the countertop overnight and you could be sure it would be surrounded by ants then next morning.  We tried a couple of home remedies that people told us about with limited results.  A friend of mine reported he had purchased something to get rid of ants and was convinced the main ingredient was watermelon juice.  He said he never saw so many ants after he started using it!  Mid-week I found a product that seems to have worked.  This is only the third day, but we are seeing a drastic reduction in the number of ants, and the ones we are seeing continue to eat the product we bought.  We are hopeful that within a few more days the ant problem will be resolved.

Dandelions.  Every year I use a fertilizer with weed control on my yard.  Most years we have virtually no dandelions in the yard, but this year has been an exception.  Again, maybe it's due to a wetter spring, but regardless of the reason we really don't like dandelions and we have many to dislike.  Early yesterday and today while the grass was still damp from dew I've spread more weed control on the yard. Again, we are hopeful this will resolve the problem.

Ministry is often filled with frustrations.  Sometimes it is big issues that keep us awake at night, but often it's the little things that we never address.  It may be a volunteer that is serving in a place that is not a good fit for his gifts.  He is frustrated and so are we, but we never address it.  Perhaps it's a small issue with the church property.  I recently talked with a pastor new to his church who was very frustrated with a moldy smell in one of the entrances to the church.  Over the years a small leak began in the roof that was never fixed.  Now the carpet in that entrance is nasty looking and smells musty.  This is a primary entrance many people use to enter the church, and the pastor is concerned about the impression this makes to first-time guests.  I pointed out that if the leak had been fixed when it was first noticed this problem would not exist.  I also reminded him that this is a very small area with a metal, flat roof over it.  My guess is the leak could be repaired, the carpet replaced, and the entry way repainted for less than $1,000.00.  A small amount to control a little fox and make the entrance more inviting to people.

I don't know what the little foxes are in your ministry, but I do know they can often be a source of great frustration.  They can also get in the way of effective ministry.  Little foxes have a tendency to not go away on their own.  Ignoring them is not a solution.  Dealing with them is, and the sooner the better.  Zig Ziglar used to say that if you have to eat a frog, don't look at that sucker too long.  When you identify a little fox, deal with it right then.  Once you do, you can move on to more productive ways to use your time.

I would encourage any church leader to read my book, The Healthy Pastor: Easing the Pressures of Ministry for additional helps in handling the various stresses of ministry.

The loneliness of ministry

Much of a minister's time is spent alone.  There are messages to prepare that require a number of hours alone in the study.  Providing pastoral care to others often results in people confiding details of their lives to the minister that cannot be shared with anyone else.  One minister heard others in the congregation question the actions of a family within the church.  He personally knew of the personal pain that led the family to make the decisions they did but could not share that information with others.  He felt very alone and powerless to stand up for the family in question.

Ministers must sometimes make decisions that are misunderstood by others.  Because others do not always have the information the pastor has they may not only question his decisions but even question his or her integrity.  This is often the case when unpopular staffing decisions have to be made and the pastor cannot reveal the reasons behind those decisions.

This sense of loneliness can have serious ramifications for the minister, his or her family, and the church.  Endogenous depression can occur when a person feels cut off from other people.  Such depression can be very difficult to understand and treat.  Loneliness was found in one study to be one of the top four causes of clergy leaving the ministry.  It can also lead to sexual addictions and misconduct.  One study found that 75 percent of the people who left the ministry due to sexual misconduct reported they were lonely and felt isolated from others.

Obviously, ministers need to take steps to avoid this sense of isolation.  Here are a few suggestions.

Regardless of the size of church, ministers need to gather a team of people to help with ministry responsibilities.  In larger churches this will often include the staff.  In smaller churches these teams will consist of mature Christians who share the same vision for ministry as the pastor.  These will be persons with leadership gifts who will help the pastor with the decisions he or she needs to make.

One of the best teams I had as a pastor was a prayer team.  Three of my leaders came to me one morning to ask if I would mind to meet with them on Sunday evenings prior to our worship service for a time of prayer for my wife and me.  Others soon joined us until we normally had 6-8 persons praying for me and my wife every Sunday evening.  I cannot tell you how much that meant to us and the impact it had on the church.

Pastors need trusted colleagues they can confide in.  These may be ministers in another community, a judicatory or denominational leader, a coach, or a trained counselor.  The key when meeting with these individuals is to not violate confidentiality but to focus on the issues that you need to address.  This can be especially helpful when you are trying to help someone with a difficult issue in his or her life and you are not sure of the advice you should give.

Pastors need spiritual directors in their lives as well.  Few of us do.  Spiritual directors can help hold us accountable for our own spiritual development, and pastors need such accountability as much as anyone else.

Of course, we are never alone if we remember that Jesus promised to never forsake us nor leave us.  God is with us, and those times when we feel most alone are the times we need to draw closer to him.

Ministry is always challenging, but when we feel alone it can be even more difficult.  We need to be very intentional to make sure that we are not alone.  Spend time developing relationships with people who can support you and the work you do.  Make sure you spend time with God every day for your own spiritual development and to deepen your relationship with him.  Doing these things will help you not feel so alone and will help spare you the problems that being alone in ministry can create.

This post comes out of a chapter of my book The Healthy Pastor: Easing the Pressures of Ministry.  The book addresses many of the challenges that ministers face and provides solutions to help address those challenges.

Ministers and the pressures of retirement

Later this month I will turn 65 years of age.  My retirement age for drawing full Social Security is 66.  I really doubt that I will retire at 66, but I've got a lot to think about as I approach the time when I will retire from the ministry.  Although many people look forward to retirement, it can be one of the most stressful times in the life of a minister.  Some of the questions that make it so stressful are:

• Will I have enough money to retire?  Not all denominations offer their clergy a pension program, and even if the pastor has a pension program that does not mean the minister and/or the church has contributed much to the account.  If the minister has lived in church-provided housing he or she has not had the opportunity to build escrow in a home so that money is not available.  Sometimes with advancing age there are increased medical bills that can eat into a savings account very quickly.  When all these, and more, issues are factored in it is easy to see that this is a major question for any minister considering retirement.
• What will I do?  One can only play golf or fish for so long.  I believe each of us are wired to be productive, and I think that is especially true for those of us in ministry.  Most people entered ministry to make a difference in people's lives, and that mindset doesn't suddenly change because we reach some magic number that entitles us to retire.  Some ministers do supply preaching or interim ministries after retiring; others want to do something other than ministry-related activities.  The important thing is to begin seeking an answer to this question before retiring.
• How will my health be after retirement?  Health issues can become a problem as we get older, but there are some things we can do to stay as healthy as possible.  One is to remain active.  I've known a few people who just quit after they retired, and most of them didn't live very long.  Making sure you get adequate exercise, eating properly, and having regular medical check-ups are all important to remain healthy after you retire.
• Where will you live?  If the minister has lived in a parsonage, he or she will have to find a new place to live after they retire.  Sometimes the minister wants to remain in the community where he or she now lives.  Others want to move closer to children and grandchildren, but such a move will require them to make new friends, find new medical care providers, and do a lot of other things they may not prefer to do in retirement.
• How will I relate to former church members?  This will be a major issue if the minister remains in the current community.  According to the Code of Ethics our denomination requests our ministers to sign, we are not to maintain professional relationships with former members.  When I left the church I served for twenty years, even though we remained in the same community, I explained to the congregation that I would not return to perform their weddings and funerals.  When some problems arose in the church and friends of mine began to leave the church, I was heartbroken, but I could not step in and address the issues that caused them to leave.  Ministers must address this question whether they retire or move to another church, but it is one that must be addressed and explained to the congregation.
• Where will I worship?  Very seldom is it proper for a minister to continue to worship in the same church from which he or she retired.  In a smaller community there may not be another church of the same denomination which will mean the retired minister may have to travel some distance to a church where he or she can worship or find a church of a different denomination in that community.
• How will I stay mentally sharp?  Most ministers spend a large amount of time reading and studying which helps them stay mentally sharp.  Dementia and Alzheimer's disease are concerns for anyone approaching retirement age, and although nothing can guarantee they won't affect someone, it is known that remaining active and using one's mind does lessen the chance of having these problems.  I know a retired minister in his nineties who began learning a new language.  He not only learned a new language but remained mentally sharp throughout his life.
• How will I deal with growing older?  I have to admit I am not thrilled to turn 65.  There are things I can't do today that I used to do, and I miss doing those things.  Aging has brought some limitations, some of which are hard to accept.  But, there are things I can do today that I couldn't do when I was younger.  I enjoy writing books and leading workshops based on my experiences in ministry, and I couldn't do those things thirty years ago.  My wife and I enjoy traveling to places we didn't have the time and money to visit when we were younger.  Rather than focus on the things you can't do, spend time finding new things you can do today you couldn't do as a younger person.

Growing older and retiring is not for sissies!  There are a lot of questions you need to answer before you reach retirement age to reduce the stress often associated with retirement.  For more assistance in dealing with this, and many other stresses associated with ministry, I encourage you to get my book The Healthy Pastor: Easing the Pressures of Ministry.

Who is the head of your church?

Last week I posted on this site an article about a pastor who was leaving a larger church for one that is much smaller.  He had served at the larger church for 15 years.  Not only had the church grown numerically, it had grown spiritually and had added considerable space to their facility.  To say that he was loved by the majority in the church would be a major understatement.  As I said in the previous post, there was absolutely no reason for him to leave except that he knew God was calling him to this other church.  Yesterday, I had the opportunity to preach in that church.

I purposefully arrived early and sat in the front pew to listen to the sounds the people made when they entered the sanctuary.  In some churches it may have sounded like a funeral service with grief-filled people speaking in hushed tones about the one who was no longer with them.  Not this church.  There were the sounds of laughter and conversation throughout the building.  The sound I was most wanting to hear was the "buzz," the sound in a building when numerous people are carrying on a conversation, and the "buzz" was quite loud yesterday morning.  I always see that as a sign of health.  The other thing I looked for was what the people did when the service ended.  In a healthy church people are in no hurry to leave.  They enjoy standing around talking with members of their church family.  The vast majority of the church members were still there when I pulled out of the parking lot.

The worship service was very powerful with a good mixture of contemporary songs and traditional hymns.  I'm often not impressed with blended services, but this church does them as well as any, and I found it to be quite worshipful.  There was a good order to the service, and everything moved along at a good pace although nothing seemed rushed.  As I preached it was obvious that the people were engaged in the message with several taking notes.

Several of the people told me that they will miss their pastor but that the church is more than one person.  Their focus is on Christ and how they can best serve him.  Their former pastor told me many times that he could take no credit for the good things that happened in that church during his ministry there.  He gave all the credit to God and to the members.  In our last conversation he said that the main thing he tried to do during his time there was to not mess up what God was doing in that church.  He recognized that he was the pastor and had leadership responsibilities as a result of that role but that the head of the church was Jesus Christ.  Not only did he recognize that; he taught it to his congregation, and what I experienced yesterday is evidence to me that they believe it as well.

So often I have seen pastors leave a church and be followed out the door by a mass of people.  Most of those who leave when the pastor does has been following the pastor, not Christ.  I've seen churches shut down most of their ministries when their pastor leaves.  They just drift along waiting for the church to call another pastor and refuse to begin any new ministries until that happens.  Such churches often begin to decline which may explain why some churches are so desperate to call a new pastor as quickly as possible.

These churches do not recognize who the true head of the church is.  Pastors come and go.  The day a new pastor arrives on the scene he or she is a departing pastor.  If the Lord tarries every pastor will eventually leave the church he or she is serving.  So will every member.  The one constant in every church is Christ himself.  It is his church.  He is the head.  Yes, it is permissible and right to grieve over the loss of a beloved pastor, but that does not mean that we take our focus off Jesus Christ.  If he is the head of the church the ministry of the church need not suffer when a pastor leaves.

If we want healthy churches they must clearly understand who is the real head of their church.  If we want our churches to faithfully advance the Kingdom of God they must seek God's vision for their church and be encouraged to follow that vision.  The church in which I preached yesterday understands these things and is seeking to do them.  What about your church?

My heart is heavy for those pastors who are struggling

It seems like a lot of my time recently has been spent with pastors who are hurting, confused, and about ready to give up.    In recent weeks I've talked with pastors who have resigned their churches due to the pressures they were feeling and a pastor who admitted he was near burnout and wanted to talk about how to ask his church for a sabbatical.  The good news in his case is the church did grant him the time away he needed.  I've talked with other pastors who are frustrated with the ministry in general.  Some have said they would leave ministry completely if they had training in any other field.  Some of the saddest pastors are those who have given up and are just going through the motions hoping to endure to retirement.

Church consultant and coach Eddie Hammett has written a number of recent articles on this problem because he is seeing more of it in his work.  I read another article last week saying that there is an increase in clergy depression that is quite troubling to denominational leaders.  The problem for all of us is that no one seems to know a solution to the problem.

I can identify some of the causes, but I struggle knowing how to resolve them.  Some of the causes I've seen are

• People have not been adequately prepared by their seminary training for ministry in the real world.  As I've written before, too many are trained to be research theologians, not pastors, so when they arrive at their first church they are not prepared for what will be expected of them.
• Churches and clergy may not be a good fit.  I've seen many good churches and good pastors find out they were not good for one another.  When the expectations of the church and pastor are at variance with one another, and the pastor does not have the gift mix to meet the expectations of the church, problems are sure to occur.
• Too many ministers and churches have not learned how to properly deal with conflict.  When conflict is on-going it takes a toll on everyone.  Clergy and churches need to learn how to address conflict and be willing to bring in outside assistance early in the conflict.
• Many clergy have unrealistic expectations of what ministry will be.  Ministry is often messy work that doesn't normally occur within the safe surroundings of the pastor's study.  There can be a lot of drama in ministry, and healthy ministers need to quickly learn how to deal with that drama or it will begin to eat at them.
• Many churches have unrealistic expectations of their pastor.  One pastor asked his board to list what they believed his primary tasks in the church were and how much time he should spend on each task.  When their lists were compiled the hours that were listed totaled over 100 hours and did not include family time, meals, sleep, or any other personal activity.  He used that to point out to them the need for the church to begin to develop more realistic expectations of his role in the church.
• Clergy often underestimate how difficult introducing change into a church will be.  Most all church systems prefer the status quo and will resist change.  My experience has been that it takes much longer to bring about change in a church than I would have originally thought when I began the process.  Systems tend to always try to revert back to what was familiar, and that struggle can be very tiring on the minister.
• Some churches are dysfunctional.  They are led by controlling lay leaders who are simply mean-spirited.  One thing denominational leaders can do in such cases is to refuse to assist them in pastor searches until they are willing to become healthier.
• Some pastors are dysfunctional.  I've known a few pastors who were also controllers who felt it was their call to beat the sheep, not feed them.  However, not all dysfunctional ministers are abusive.  Some are manipulative, and they abuse their congregations through manipulative means to get what they want.  Again, denominational leaders have a means to address this.  We should feel no obligation to assist such people as they search for a new ministry position.
• Some pastors should have never gone into the ministry.  They lack the giftedness and the calling to serve as ministers.  The reason such pastors struggle so much is that they are out of their element.  The individuals should be helped to recognize this and encouraged to find other employment outside of ministry.  Such persons may find that they will be excellent lay leaders in a church, but they are not the right person to pastor a church.

There are many more reasons that could be listed, but these are enough to illustrate that the solution to this problem is not a simple one.  I do think the problem is serious enough that denominations and seminaries need to become quite intentional about addressing it.  I also believe that we need to spend much time in prayer for these hurting ministers.  I have done that today.  We also need to let them know that it is OK to talk to others about their pain and their questions.  Every pastor needs a coach or counselor with whom he or she can openly and honestly share their fears, their frustrations, and their doubts.

When smaller churches look for pastors

One of the tasks of my job is to assist our churches when they are seeking new pastoral leadership.  I work with both larger and smaller churches in this capacity.  One of the challenges when assisting our smaller churches is to find potential candidates.  As you might imagine, it's easier to find persons willing to serve in larger churches than smaller ones.  One reason it can be difficult to find pastors for the smaller churches is that they are increasingly becoming bivocational.  This means that most likely the persons who could fill that position will be found geographically near the church.  Few people are going to relocate very far to serve in a bivocational church.  Another thing that makes it difficult to assist these smaller churches is that many of them have unrealistic expectations of their next pastor, especially if he or she is bivocational.  Let's look at some of those unrealistic expectations that I have encountered.

• This person will be the one who will save their church.  I repeatedly hear from many smaller churches that they are looking for someone who will grow their church or grow their youth group.  What they are really saying is they want someone who will save their church from dying.  Often, their church hasn't grown in years (decades?) and the only young people in the church are grade-school children brought there by their grandparents.  Few of these young people will be found there once they enter junior-high school.  Somehow it has never dawned on these folks that their lack of growth is not the fault of previous pastors but because of the way their church is structured and operated.  For some reason, no one in these churches wants to take on the responsibility of reaching out to the community in ways that could lead to growth.  They keep waiting on a pastor to do that for them.
• Despite the fact that many of these committees say their church wants a pastor who will grow their church, the truth is many of these smaller churches are looking for a chaplain who will care for the existing members.  One committee assured me the church wanted a pastor to grow the church, but a survey I did of the congregation revealed they really wanted a chaplain.  When I pointed that out to the committee they didn't know what to do with it.  I explained that if they call a pastor with spiritual gifts conducive to growing a church he or she will be in trouble within the first year for not meeting the pastoral care needs of the congregation.  Sometimes, there isn't a second year.
• Their new pastor will come in with a vision for ministry that will unite their church and return it to the exciting place it was fifty years ago.  I ask every pastor search committee to tell me the vision that has unified their church, and virtually none have been able to give me one.  A couple of them have read from some vision statement document.  When that happened recently I responded, "The fact you had to find that statement and read it tells me that statement really doesn't direct the activities and ministries of this church."  Most of the committee nodded their heads in agreement.  One person complained that they were all busy people who didn't have time to do those things.  That's why they were looking for a pastor.
• While many are paying for a bivocational person, their expectations are that he or she will work as a full-time person in the church.  One committee was recently concerned about their Sunday evening service and were afraid their new pastor would not be able to lead that if he or she lived too far away.  I asked how many usually attend it and was told they average about ten people.  I then asked if having this service was really a good use of their pastor's time.  I asked if there were no lay people in the church who could lead it (there were).  I asked if this could be held in people's homes rather than in the church (no one had ever thought of that).  I cautioned them that if they were going to call a bivocational pastor they needed to make sure that was was asked of that person was the best use of his or her time and gifts.
• Some are willing to ignore theology to find someone willing.  A couple of years ago a disgruntled group from a church contacted me complaining their pastor didn't do things like a Baptist.  I reminded them they knew he wasn't a Baptist when they called him.  They were getting exactly what they hired.  That pastor has now left but not before many of the members did.  I recently talked with a search committee from a different church who were excited about someone who had preached there the previous Sunday.    Two of them commented he was a "real barn-burner preacher" who got everyone excited.  I read his resume and pointed out his experience has all been in a different denomination.  I then asked what did they know about his personal theology.  They knew nothing.  One person complained that some of these seminary-trained preachers will put you to sleep, and I responded that was true but some of those who aren't seminary trained will teach you bad theology too, and it doesn't matter how loud they shout it's still bad theology. Can persons cross denominational lines to serve churches?  Absolutely, I've known several who have done that and provided excellent ministry, but their theology was solid and their approach to ministry was healthy.  Search committees just need to make sure that is the case before they present the person as a candidate to the church.

I could give more examples of unrealistic expectations, but these are the primary ones I encounter.  It is critical that churches develop more realistic expectations of their pastors, and that the congregation is united on those expectations.  It is also vital that both the committees and candidates spend sufficient time talking with one another and asking questions to ensure that they will be a good fit before proceeding to a vote.  Some of the churches in our region do not call anyone on our staff for assistance when looking for a pastor, and I think that is a mistake.  Most denominational leaders have resources and procedures that can be of great help to a church seeking new pastoral leadership.

The plight of older ministers

As I work with pastor search committees I find that many of them are wanting a young creative pastor who will bring new life into their churches.  There are several things wrong with their request.  One, quite often if a pastor does attempt to do anything that will bring new life into a church it is met with resistance.  A church once told me they wanted a pastor who would grow their youth group.  A few months after calling a new pastor I met a member of that church's search committee at a restaurant.  When I asked if their pastor had grown a youth group in the church she replied that he had.  I commented that must have made the church happy, and she replied that it had actually created problems in their church.  Many of the older members were upset because the pastor was spending all his time with the young people and ignoring them.  Some had left the church and others had quit giving creating some financial problems in the church.  That pastor did not last long.

About a year ago I met with the search committee of another bivocational church who told me they wanted a pastor who would grow their church.  I had never done this before but this time I asked, "Are you sure about that?  You do realize that if you could grow this church by doing what you've been doing it would already be growing, don't you?  That means you are telling me you want a pastor who will come in here and turn everything upside down.  Is that what you really want?"  They began to look sideways at each other and smile.  Finally, one of them said, "Maybe we need to think about that for a little while."  The fact is, many older, established churches really don't want a new pastor to bring new life into their church.  They want a chaplain, a caretaker, someone who will love them and be there for them and keep things relatively calm, and if any growth does occur without upsetting things that will be a plus.

The other problem with the original statement is the belief that young pastors will be more creative than older ones.  That simply is not always the case.  Yes, there are some older pastors who are very traditional in their approach to ministry, and they are locked into doing things like they did when they began ministry thirty years ago.  However, there are many pastors nearing the age of retirement who are very creative in their approach to ministry.  These pastors draw from a lifetime of experience and study and are not afraid to take risks and try new things.  Some ministers fresh out of seminary only know what they were taught in their seminary classes which are not known for being especially creative.

I recently had lunch with a minister colleague who is seeking a place to serve.  His concern is that he is in his early 60s, and he knows many churches will not be able to move past his birth year when they look at his resume.  Talking with this person it was obvious that he has great insights into ministry and probably has many more good years to serve, if a church will give him that option.

Reading through the Old Testament it seems that many of God's choicest servants began some of their best ministry in their later years.  It seems a shame that some of our churches fail to see the value in the experience and wisdom that many of our older pastors could bring them.  These ministers who have seen and heard it all could be the non-anxious presence that some of our churches need to be able to move forward.

When I was in my early 50s a denominational leader told me I should try to be where I wanted to finish my ministry by the time I was 55.  As I now work with churches looking for pastors I see some who are willing to consider a person who is approaching 60 years of age, but not many.  Even fewer will consider someone older than 60.    That's a shame because there are many ministers 60 years of age and older who still have a lot to offer a church.  They are sharp, active, and quite creative in their thinking.  They certainly are not ready to retire.  I believe many of our churches would be well served by these older clergy persons.  If your church is seeking a pastor do not automatically discount those whose age might be above your "magic" number.  You could be missing out on the perfect person for the position.  In fact, you could be missing out on the person God has prepared to be your next pastor.

The ministry of the pastor

In yesterday's post I referred to a book I was reading, The Pastor: A Memoir by Eugene Peterson.  Last night I finished reading the book.  I have long been a fan of Peterson's books, but this is my favorite as it gave me some insights into the journey that led him to write his other books.  More importantly, this book explains why he became the type of pastor he was, an unbusy pastor.

Many of us in ministry, especially those of us who are bivocational, are in constant motion.  We go from church to job to family activity to a dozen other things.  What often suffers in all that activity is our own personal walk with God.  We are so busy doing things for God that we fail to spend time with God.  We spend so much time with people that we can never really be with any of them.  Peterson found himself in that situation.  One night his daughter asked him to read her a story, and he responded he had to attend a church meeting that night.  She replied this was the 27th night in a row he had attended a meeting.  She was counting.  It broke his heart, and when he went to the meeting he told his elders he was resigning as their pastor.

When the elders asked why he wanted to resign he explained that he had become a pastor he did not want to be.  He wanted to pray, to study, to spend unhurried time with people so as to really understand their lives, and to lead the congregation in worship and a deeper walk with God.  He wanted to be an unhurried pastor, and he could not do that while trying to run the church and meet all the demands that entailed.  The elders asked him to trust them to handle the business of the church so he could become the pastor he wanted to be. By the end of the meeting they worked together to reorganize the administrative work of the church, and Peterson never attended another meeting except for the monthly elder meeting.

The entire book was a refreshing look at the life of a pastor, but that particular story really spoke to me.  So much of my ministry was spent feeling like I was a hamster in a wheel, always running but often going nowhere.  Although our church experienced many good things during my pastorate with them, much of my activity was just that, activity that accomplished little.  It wasn't until the last few years of my pastorate that we took seriously Ephesians 4 and began training the saints to do the work of ministry.  In the elder's meeting Peterson admitted he didn't trust them to handle the work of the church, and I suppose the same could have been said about me.  The reason Peterson and I didn't trust our church leaders was that neither of us had ever taken the time to teach them how to do that work.  We bought into the separation between clergy and laity and assumed that the work of the church was limited to the professional clergy.  Peterson learned that was not true much earlier in his ministry than I did, but it was a lesson that improved both our lives and that of our churches.

Due to my age it is doubtful I will ever return to pastoral ministry, but if I did I would want to be an unbusy pastor.  Frankly, that would not be popular in many of our churches.  People tend to judge pastors the same as they judge business leaders and those who play sports.  We measure the things that can be seen, and we keep track of the things that are most important to our particular organizations.  For pastors that is often the holy trinity of buildings, budgets, and baptisms.  In smaller churches it could even be how many committee meetings the pastor attended, how many times he or she went to the hospital or visited in member's homes, and whether or not he or she keeps regular office hours in case someone wants to drop by.

It's not nearly as easy to measure the prayer and devotional life of the pastor or the impact a casual conversation the pastor has with a server at a diner.  Congregations that measure the pastors' sermon by how it made them feel often have no idea how many hours were spent in the study to prepare that message or the ones that perhaps didn't create great feelings but took them deeper into the Scriptures in order to solidify their faith.

By the way, we in ministry often judge the quality of our own ministries by how busy we are as well.  I cannot tell you how many pastors have shown me their full calendars as proof of their worth as pastors.  It seems as if they can fill every day with activities it vindicates their calling as pastor.  After reading Peterson's book I will probably ask when they will have time for the unexpected ministry opportunity God will bring into their lives.  Where is their time for God?  If possible, I would make Peterson's book required reading for every minister, especially for those just starting.  I truly believe most of us could learn much about what pastoral ministry really is all about by reading his ministerial journey.

The problem of pastors leaving the ministry

A statistic I find very troubling is one I first heard several years ago and continue to see it repeated.  Approximately 50 percent of pastors will leave the ministry within five years of graduating from seminary.  That is very troubling.  I assume that most of these people, at some point in their lives, felt called to the ministry.  They invested a great deal of time and money into earning their college and seminary degrees.  No doubt they felt excited about being involved in ministry, and yet within a few short years they turn their back on that calling.  Why?

For some it is as simple as burnout.  Ministry is challenging work.  Pastors often find themselves at odds with controllers in the church who insist everything must be done to suit them regardless of the impact on others or the overall ministry of the church, and they often find the congregation will support the controllers.  A pastor may feel called to the ministry but is also a human being who will quickly grow tired of being beaten up every week by unhealthy church systems.  Selling insurance can start to look pretty good to a pastor whose work is consistently criticized by persons who do not understand the nature of ministry.

Some leave for financial reasons.  I recently had a conversation with a church leader who was upset that they have not been able to find a pastor despite searching for one for a year.  They've interviewed several candidates but nothing has worked out.  I reminded him again of an earlier conversation I had with the church regarding their salary and benefit package.  At the time I encouraged them to seek a bivocational person to serve as their pastor, but they insist that their pastor must be fully-funded.  He said that none of the candidates who decided to not go there made their decision because of the salary package the church was offering.  I have to wonder how many of them may have given other reasons so as not to appear greedy but that the minimal salary the church is offering was simply not enough to support their families.  Churches need to understand that few people ever reach a spiritual maturity level where they no longer need to eat.

A number of ministers leave because of moral failure in their lives.  They make choices that disqualify them for ministry, and they have no choice but to leave the ministry.  I have sometimes wondered how many of them may have wanted out of ministry, but saw no way out unless they were forced out.  So, they participated in behavior that would cause them to be removed from ministry.  This would mean that such a person would prefer to be known as a person who had moral failure in his or her life than to be known as someone who walked away from God's calling.  I don't know if this theory could be right, but I would love to see someone do a study on this.  Such a study could be invaluable to denominational leaders and pastoral leaders, especially if my theory is right.

However, at the core of all the surface reasons people leave the ministry after only a few short years is their inability to create healthy boundaries in their lives.  Too many neglect their families for the sake of ministry.  They allow others to regulate their calendars and their lives.  They build up debt which cannot be covered by the salaries many churches can afford to pay.  They do not practice good self-care leading to physical and emotional problems.  They isolate themselves from others and soon feel they are all alone in ministry.  They put themselves in situations where poor moral choices are more easily made.  Ministry is tough, and pastors need to be very intentional about finding ways to ease the pressures of their ministries.

After being in ministry for over three decades and working with hundreds of pastors I understand some of those pressures.  That led me to write a book called The Healthy Pastor: Easing the Pressures of Ministry.  It addresses each of the issues listed above and several others and provides recommendations for how to avoid them and how to create healthier boundaries for your life and ministry.  I believe the call to ministry is a life-long calling.  While ministry will always be challenging, there are many things a minister can do to ease many of the pressures he or she will face.  It is my prayer that this book will help the reader take intentional steps to enjoy a healthy and effective ministry and a more enjoyable life.

Matching the pastor and the church

One of the frustrations I have in my work with churches is the number of times that problems occur because the church and pastor are not good matches for one another.  Although this should seldom occur, it happens all too frequently.  When a good church and a good pastor are not good matches for one another both pay a price.  The church loses ministry opportunities it could have enjoyed if it had not been spending so much time trying to make a bad match work, and the pastor usually ends up leaving the church feeling as if he or she has failed in ministry.  The reason it is so frustrating to me is that in most cases it could be avoided if both parties really understood God's vision for their ministries.

In my first meeting with pastor search committees I always ask them to tell me the vision of the church.  The best response I usually get is someone reads a vision statement from a piece of paper they had in a file.  Most of the time I get blank stares until someone finally admits they don't have one.  My next question then is, "If you don't know where God is leading you as a church how do you know what ministry gifts your new pastor will need to help you get there?"  More times than I can count someone will respond that they are waiting for a new pastor to come and lead them.  Guess what?  Quite often that pastor tries to lead them where they don't want to go, and that's when denominational leaders receive a call saying the church is having problems with its pastor.  If the church has a clear understanding of the ministry God is leading them to embrace, and they share that with the candidates the potential pastors can then compare that to their ministry strengths and determine if they will be a good fit.

That often does not happen.  Too many churches can't stand to go long without a pastor and they call the first one who seems to have a good personality and can preach a decent trial sermon.  Too many pastors are so desperate to find a place to serve they are willing to take the first one that keeps them close to family, or offers a better financial package, or fits them culturally.  The church and pastor both announce to the world that God has brought them together to do ministry, and three years later it appears that God has changed His mind because they are now trying to separate from one another as quickly as possible.  And we wonder why the church in America is in the trouble it's in.

Let me conclude this post with two quotes.  The first one comes from the Bible: Without a vision the people perish.  Approximately 5,000 churches in America close their doors every year, and it is safe to say that none of them probably had any sense of vision other than survival.  God has a plan for every church.  He has a vision for every church, and a church that identifies that vision and seeks to live it out will not just survive but thrive.  That vision will engage the congregation, bring hope to people who have lost hope, and expand the Kingdom of God in ways many churches cannot imagine.  When the gifts and passions of the people are in alignment with God's vision great things will happen.  When a pastor's ministry gifts and skills are a match for that vision he or she and the church will usually enjoy a long, fruitful ministry together.

The second quote is associated with John Maxwell: Everything rises and falls on leadership.  If the pastor is not a good match for the church it is almost a certainty that the church will wander around in the wilderness confused and unable to enter into the ministry God has for it.  If the pastor is trying to lead the church one way that is in alignment with his or her gifts, and the church has a different destination in mind, there will soon be a parting of the ways.  Ministry opportunities will be lost, some forever.  It is essential that before a church begins the process of seeking a new pastor that it goes through some type of discernment process, and much prayer, to clearly identify a vision that unifies the congregation and captures the commitment of everyone in the church, and that it seeks only those persons whose spiritual giftedness and skills sets will be a good match for that vision.

Challenging people to respond to God's call on their lives

I have been asked to address a gathering of youth this fall to challenge them to prayerfully consider what God's call on their lives might be.  The young person who invited me had attended a worship service where I was the guest speaker earlier this year, and in the message I mentioned that many churches were failing to challenge their young people in this manner.  Almost every person I know who is in the ministry today is serving in that capacity because someone challenged them to consider if God might be calling them to do that.  Personally, I felt called to the ministry as a youth but did nothing about that until a pastor challenged me again when I was in my mid-twenties.

Growing up in Baptist churches I remember every service ended with an invitation which usually consisted of four parts: salvation, rededication, transfer of membership from another church, and responding to a call of God to "full-time" Christian service.  I still often hear the first three as part of the invitation in the churches I visit, but I seldom hear the fourth one any more.  BTW - That needs now to be changed to full-time or bivocational ministry since God is now calling many to a bivocational role.

Many persons now serving in pastoral or missionary roles are nearing retirement age.  My personal opinion is that a large number may have already retired if the economy wasn't so bad.  A number of denominations have aggressive new church planting goals they want to reach over the next few years.  Due to the economy and the stress of ministry, a large number of clergy leave the ministry each year.  While most studies indicate there are still sufficient numbers of clergy for our churches, that may not be the case in the near future.  It certainly is not the case now for smaller churches as many current clergy will not serve in such churches.  The need for bivocational ministers to serve these churches is great now and only expected to increase.

You and I cannot call anyone to the ministry.  That must be the work of God in a person's life.  But, we do have the responsibility to challenge people to consider if God may have such on call on their lives.  We can talk with persons we believe demonstrate pastoral gifts at work in their lives about ministry and offer to pray with them as they seek God's guidance in that area.  We can give them some pastoral tasks to see how well they do and what that feels like to them.  After my pastor asked me to seek God's will in this area he invited me to go with him on pastoral visits when appropriate.  One day he handed me a spare key to his study and told me to feel free to use it and his library any time I wanted to study.  With my love of books that was almost confirmation by itself that God wanted me in the ministry!

One of the tasks of a leader is to identify future leaders and help develop them for the work to which God has called them.  What a loss to the Kingdom of God if there are people in our churches God is calling into the ministry and we fail to help them identify that call.

The pain of pastoring a church

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I recently spent some time with a hurting pastor.  He called me a couple of weeks ago to ask how to deal with a situation he was having with a layperson in the church.  This man was going to everyone he could trying to get the pastor fired.  He is making allegations that are not true according to the pastor which has greatly hurt this minister.  The fact that he is doing this in public in front of church members and guests alike is also hurting the church.  The lay leadership seems to have rallied behind their pastor and have confronted this individual about his actions.  He did not respond well to the discussion the lay leadership had with him.  It's a very painful time for the pastor and his family, and I'm sure it is for the church membership as well.  What makes this especially sad is that it all could be avoided.

I do not know what issues or complaints this person has with the pastor.  According to Scripture, he should be in private contact with the pastor so they could address the concerns this individual has and not going around the hallways at the church building telling everyone about his perceived short-comings of the pastor.  Based on my conversations with the pastor, that did not happen.  One positive thing that did happen is that a couple of the lay leaders in the church asked the individual to step into an empty office where they confronted him with his actions and attitudes.  The pastor and lay leaders alike told him that if he was unhappy with the pastor and his ministry at the church there were better ways of addressing that other than taking it to the streets.  They also reminded him that several recent actions he had taken are grounds for removal from the church.  Only time will tell whether or not he heard these lay leaders, but I applaud them for standing up for their pastor. 

Too often, especially in smaller churches, the lay leadership decides to remain neutral during times of such conflicts.  You may remember from previous blog posts that everything in smaller churches revolves around relationships.  The congregation may realize that certain people are acting irresponsibly, but they refuse to address it because of the relationship they have with that individual.  They do not want to risk damaging that relationship.  In such churches the pastor is expendable.  Brother Joe may be acting as a total jerk in his efforts to have the pastor removed, but no one in the church will confront him because, "That's just the way Brother Joe is, and we love him despite his issues."  The next sound you hear in such churches is that of the pastor being thrown under the bus.

Most pastors I know serve their churches because they are convinced God has called them to do so.  They enjoy being in the ministry, and they enjoy helping their churches become healthier.  They hurt when those they serve are hurting, and they also hurt when people misunderstand what they do or misrepresent them to others.  I was a pastor in the same church for twenty years, and I never got over the pain that came when I knew people felt I had failed them in some way as a pastor.  It always hurt when I learned they had taken their grievences to others in an effort to rally support around their position.  It hurt me, and it brought pain to my family.

Even though I continued to feel this pain, I learned to minimize it with a few simple responses.

1. I considered the accusations to see if there was any truth in them.  If so, then I needed to use them to improve my ministry, and I needed to apologize to those I had harmed.
2. I confessed where I had erred to the leaders of the church, but I did not accept blame for things that I had not done.
3. I accepted the fact that I would never please everyone. This was not easy because I tend to be a people-pleaser.  I had to learn to let people go.
4. I also had to learn to confront the accusers quickly.  That also was not easy because I am also the poster boy for conflict avoider.  I had to move beyond my natural make-up and address the accusers and their claims rather than trying to avoid them hoping their would go away.
5. Finally, I had to accept the fact that there would be some pain with being a pastor.  Anytime one works with people there will be the possibility for conflict and pain, and the longer one works with the same people the higher the odds are that conflict will come.

These did not make the pain go away, but they did help minimize it for me.  When I was able to put these into practice the pain did not occur as often as it did before, and it disappeared sooner.  That made my ministry much more enjoyable and much more effective.  For more help on easing some of the pressures of ministry you may want to read The Healthy Pastor.