My doctoral project was to determine if coaching would benefit bivocational pastors. I coached six pastors across the US and Canada for three months. My dissertation was a record of the coaching calls and the changes that took place in the lives of those I coached. In addition, each person had to write a two page report on how the coaching impacted his or her life, and that report was included in the dissertation. The dissertation later became The Art and Practice of Bivocational Ministry: A Pastor's Guide published in 2013.
One of my favorite pastors I coached during that project was a woman who pastored a small church in a small community out west. During one of our sessions I asked her what she would most like to do as a pastor. She hesitated to answer at first because she said no one had ever asked her that question. Finally, she said she would like to be able to minister to persons who had been hurt by the church in the past. I laughed and told her if she found a way to successfully do that her little church wouldn't be small for very long because she would find a lot of people who have been hurt by the church. The remainder of that coaching call was spent discussing how she might begin such a ministry.
Unfortunately, it's not difficult to find people who have been hurt by the church. We have a well-earned reputation of shooting our wounded. Too often, the church hurts others rather than offer them healing. In heated meetings we speak hurtful words to one another. We ridicule the ideas or suggestions of others. We let people fall through the cracks to the point that they believe the church doesn't care about them. We try to tell people how to live their lives when we have no idea of the things they are dealing with. In one church a single mother of four young children began attending services. After being there about six months a couple approached her one Sunday after the service and began telling her all the things they thought she was doing wrong in raising her children. She never went back. When someone from the church finally asked why she stopped coming she explained she had enough going on in her life without people telling her she was a bad mother. Sadly, these kind of experiences are not uncommon, and many people have left the church due to the pain the church caused them. I once met a woman who showed me a letter she had received from a member of the church she had attended also complaining about the way she was raising her children. She had received that letter twenty years before and still had it, and as she showed it to me and told me the story I could hear the anger that was still in her voice. Some of the wounds the church causes runs deep.
The church is not made up of perfect people. None of us has it all together. We need to learn to be patient with one another and respect the feelings of others. When I think of the patience God has with me I have no choice but to be patient with others. As I've said in sermons, church is not a hotel for saints but a hospital for sinners. It needs to be place where we all can find healing and instruction for our lives.
None of this is to suggest that we ignore sin in people's lives or that we become door mats that others are allowed to walk over. Certainly, we must stand for what is right, but we don't have to be mean or ugly about it. We don't have to trample over people's feelings.
Life is tough with lots of challenges. The church should be the one place where we can work together to help one another get through those tough times. We should look to heal and not add to the pain and difficulties in the lives of others.
If you are reading this and is someone who has left the church because of the pain it caused you, consider coming back. As I wrote above, the church is not a perfect place. Most of the time when we've hurt someone it wasn't done intentionally. A family left the church I pastored over a hurt caused by a group in the church. I went to visit the family and encouraged them to not let that hurt keep them from church. I suggested if they couldn't return to our church to find another one to attend because we all need a church. They did find another church and attended there for years. I then explained to the group that caused the pain what they had done. They didn't realize the damage their actions would cause, and it never happened again while I was pastor there.
Find you a good church and allow God to bring healing to your hurts. Life is too tough to try to get through it without the support of a church who loves God and will love you.
Showing posts with label Attitudes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Attitudes. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 5, 2020
Thursday, March 19, 2020
You will always find what you are looking for
As part of my devotional time each morning I am currently re-reading Craig Groeschel's book Soul Detox: Clean Living in a Contaminated World. Let me share a paragraph that really touched me this morning.
You will always find what you are looking for. Think about the difference between two birds: a vulture and a hummingbird. Vultures soar high in the sky, looking and searching. What does a vulture find? Dead things. The ugly oversized bird doesn't stop until he finds lifeless, rotting road kill. Contrast the vulture to the tiny hummingbird. With wings flapping twenty beats a second, what does this small bird find? Not dead things and disgusting rancid meat, but instead, sweet, life-giving nectar. Daily each bird finds what he is looking for.
The same is true of each of us. We can always find thing to complain about, things that are negative in life, and things that don't go the way we wanted. Some people dwell on finding such things. Zig Ziglar used to say that some people go around looking for the bad as if there was a reward for finding it. Any of us can get locked into such negative thinking which can never help us live life as it was meant to be.
How does this happen? One way people get locked into negative thinking is by spending more time listening to the news than they spend reading the Bible. "If it bleeds, it leads" is the mantra of the news profession. Like vultures they fly through the sky seeking the ugly things in life to report. Yes, we are battling a pandemic that needs reporting. Yes, there are shootings and murders and ugly things out there. But, there are also many positive things happening in the world that never get covered. We don't hear about them because they are not considered newsworthy. If such things receive any mention at all it's in the last minute of the newscast after our minds have been filled with the other stories.
Another way this seeking the negative occurs is through the self-talk we do every day. Growing up we may have been given the seeds of negativity that were planted in our minds. Perhaps you were told you would never amount to anything, that you were dumb or unattractive. Maybe you were bullied by others. People who were supposed to protect you harmed you instead. Such seeds of negativity can be planted deep within a person. They produce thoughts in our minds that never seem to go away until we finally begin to believe them ourselves. We're not surprised when something doesn't go our way because we've convinced ourselves through our self-talk that we don't deserve good things to happen to us.
There's not space to cover any of what I'm about to say in detail, but let me make three suggestions.
You will always find what you are looking for. Think about the difference between two birds: a vulture and a hummingbird. Vultures soar high in the sky, looking and searching. What does a vulture find? Dead things. The ugly oversized bird doesn't stop until he finds lifeless, rotting road kill. Contrast the vulture to the tiny hummingbird. With wings flapping twenty beats a second, what does this small bird find? Not dead things and disgusting rancid meat, but instead, sweet, life-giving nectar. Daily each bird finds what he is looking for.
The same is true of each of us. We can always find thing to complain about, things that are negative in life, and things that don't go the way we wanted. Some people dwell on finding such things. Zig Ziglar used to say that some people go around looking for the bad as if there was a reward for finding it. Any of us can get locked into such negative thinking which can never help us live life as it was meant to be.
How does this happen? One way people get locked into negative thinking is by spending more time listening to the news than they spend reading the Bible. "If it bleeds, it leads" is the mantra of the news profession. Like vultures they fly through the sky seeking the ugly things in life to report. Yes, we are battling a pandemic that needs reporting. Yes, there are shootings and murders and ugly things out there. But, there are also many positive things happening in the world that never get covered. We don't hear about them because they are not considered newsworthy. If such things receive any mention at all it's in the last minute of the newscast after our minds have been filled with the other stories.
Another way this seeking the negative occurs is through the self-talk we do every day. Growing up we may have been given the seeds of negativity that were planted in our minds. Perhaps you were told you would never amount to anything, that you were dumb or unattractive. Maybe you were bullied by others. People who were supposed to protect you harmed you instead. Such seeds of negativity can be planted deep within a person. They produce thoughts in our minds that never seem to go away until we finally begin to believe them ourselves. We're not surprised when something doesn't go our way because we've convinced ourselves through our self-talk that we don't deserve good things to happen to us.
There's not space to cover any of what I'm about to say in detail, but let me make three suggestions.
- Spend as much time reading the Scriptures as you do listening to the news. Yes, bad things do happen in the world, but remind yourself that God is still in charge. Read Philippians 4:7 every time you begin to feel overwhelmed by what is happening in the world.
- Take control of your self-talk. Be aware of the negative things you speak into your own spirit and refuse to accept them. Again, the Bible has much to say about how God views you. Fill your mind with His words.
- Pastors, this is not the time to preach a series through Lamentations. People are concerned and some are scared. They need to be reminded that God is with them, and those who do not know the Lord may be looking for something, or Someone, to become an anchor for their lives. Preach the Gospel, the greatest message of hope ever known to mankind! Help people find what they are really looking for in life.
Tuesday, February 11, 2020
Speak into the lives of others
Author Mark Sanborn has said, "Great leaders help people have a larger vision of themselves." One of the most important things we can do is to speak into the lives of other people words that will help them elevate their self-confidence and belief in their God-given gifts and abilities.
Several years ago I was assisting a church with their pastor search. This was a very strong church whose previous pastor had served there for over two decades. They were having a lot of trouble finding the person they believed God had prepared for them. One day I thought of a pastor serving a church not that far from the one seeking a new pastor. He had not expressed interest in leaving his church although I knew he was struggling with their unwillingness to do much despite his best leadership efforts.
I called this pastor and asked his permission to submit his name to this church. Like Moses, he kept telling me all the reasons he couldn't possibly become the pastor of that church. I kept telling him that I believed he was ready to serve that church, and I was convinced he would do a good job. He kept disagreeing with me. Finally, I asked him to do two things: He and his wife should pray about this, and I asked him to contact another minister whose opinion I knew he respected and ask him if he believed this pastor was ready to serve this larger church. A few days later he called and told me he had done both things I asked, and if I still believed he could do a good job in that church he would give me permission to give his name to the search team. He continues to serve that church well today. All he needed was someone to help him develop a larger vision of himself than he had.
As the pastor of a small, rural church I often told our congregation how much I believed in them. I told them that I believed in them more than some of them believed in themselves, and I would regularly challenge our church to stretch ourselves more than some felt comfortable. Because the church had struggled for years prior to my going there the first few challenges were rather small, but as the congregation successfully completed those challenges, the next ones became larger. Our congregation did some amazing things during my time there, and it was all because they began to see a larger vision of themselves. I believe they began to see themselves as God sees them.
Many people go through life beaten down by people who speak doubt and discouragement into them. Eventually, when you hear those negative messages often enough you begin to believe them, and soon a never-ending loop of self-doubt begins to run through your mind. This makes it hard for someone to accomplish much of value or to even see the use in trying to do anything.
Each of us needs people in our lives who will speak words of power and victory into our lives. We need to know people believe in us and want to see us succeed. Each of us also needs to be persons who are speaking such words into the lives of others. We may turn around the life of someone by the positive words we speak to them. At the very least, we may change someone's day just by letting them know we believe in them and so does God. Look for ways to speak these words to someone today.
Several years ago I was assisting a church with their pastor search. This was a very strong church whose previous pastor had served there for over two decades. They were having a lot of trouble finding the person they believed God had prepared for them. One day I thought of a pastor serving a church not that far from the one seeking a new pastor. He had not expressed interest in leaving his church although I knew he was struggling with their unwillingness to do much despite his best leadership efforts.
I called this pastor and asked his permission to submit his name to this church. Like Moses, he kept telling me all the reasons he couldn't possibly become the pastor of that church. I kept telling him that I believed he was ready to serve that church, and I was convinced he would do a good job. He kept disagreeing with me. Finally, I asked him to do two things: He and his wife should pray about this, and I asked him to contact another minister whose opinion I knew he respected and ask him if he believed this pastor was ready to serve this larger church. A few days later he called and told me he had done both things I asked, and if I still believed he could do a good job in that church he would give me permission to give his name to the search team. He continues to serve that church well today. All he needed was someone to help him develop a larger vision of himself than he had.
As the pastor of a small, rural church I often told our congregation how much I believed in them. I told them that I believed in them more than some of them believed in themselves, and I would regularly challenge our church to stretch ourselves more than some felt comfortable. Because the church had struggled for years prior to my going there the first few challenges were rather small, but as the congregation successfully completed those challenges, the next ones became larger. Our congregation did some amazing things during my time there, and it was all because they began to see a larger vision of themselves. I believe they began to see themselves as God sees them.
Many people go through life beaten down by people who speak doubt and discouragement into them. Eventually, when you hear those negative messages often enough you begin to believe them, and soon a never-ending loop of self-doubt begins to run through your mind. This makes it hard for someone to accomplish much of value or to even see the use in trying to do anything.
Each of us needs people in our lives who will speak words of power and victory into our lives. We need to know people believe in us and want to see us succeed. Each of us also needs to be persons who are speaking such words into the lives of others. We may turn around the life of someone by the positive words we speak to them. At the very least, we may change someone's day just by letting them know we believe in them and so does God. Look for ways to speak these words to someone today.
Monday, May 13, 2019
You find what you are looking for
The story is told of a couple driving through a small community who stopped and asked an older gentleman about the people who lived there. They wanted to know what the people were like. He asked, "What are the people like where you live?" They responded most of the people were self-centered, rude, and not very nice people. The old man said, "Well, that's what you will find here, too."
The next day another couple drove through the community and happened to ask the same older gentleman the same question. Again, he asked, "What are the people like where you live?" They said most of the people were very out-going, friendly, helpful, pleasant people. The older man smiled and said, "Well, that's what you will find here, too."
The point is clear: we usually find what we are looking for. Zig Ziglar used to say that some people look for faults in others like there was a reward for finding them. He challenged his audiences to become good-finders. Look for the good in people and you'll usually find it.
This is also true in churches. We often hear people talk about all the problems in various churches, and churches do have their problems. But, churches also have their good points, and when we begin looking for them we'll usually find them.
We're all familiar with the old cliche that people use for not going to church: "It's full of hypocrites." Maybe that's so. When I used to go to bars it was full of hypocrites as well, but it didn't keep me out. The ballparks are full of hypocrites, but I've never heard anyone using that excuse for not going to a ball game. Hypocrites should go to church. The church was never intended to be a hotel for saints but a hospital for sinners.
If you're looking for the perfect church and find it, please don't go there. It won't be perfect any more if you attend. But, if you look for the good in churches, you'll probably find it among all the problems there as well. You'll be able to participate in the good things and, perhaps, help clean up some of the problems.
The next day another couple drove through the community and happened to ask the same older gentleman the same question. Again, he asked, "What are the people like where you live?" They said most of the people were very out-going, friendly, helpful, pleasant people. The older man smiled and said, "Well, that's what you will find here, too."
The point is clear: we usually find what we are looking for. Zig Ziglar used to say that some people look for faults in others like there was a reward for finding them. He challenged his audiences to become good-finders. Look for the good in people and you'll usually find it.
This is also true in churches. We often hear people talk about all the problems in various churches, and churches do have their problems. But, churches also have their good points, and when we begin looking for them we'll usually find them.
We're all familiar with the old cliche that people use for not going to church: "It's full of hypocrites." Maybe that's so. When I used to go to bars it was full of hypocrites as well, but it didn't keep me out. The ballparks are full of hypocrites, but I've never heard anyone using that excuse for not going to a ball game. Hypocrites should go to church. The church was never intended to be a hotel for saints but a hospital for sinners.
If you're looking for the perfect church and find it, please don't go there. It won't be perfect any more if you attend. But, if you look for the good in churches, you'll probably find it among all the problems there as well. You'll be able to participate in the good things and, perhaps, help clean up some of the problems.
Wednesday, April 24, 2019
Live your best life
A few days ago I bought a flat at an auction filled with CDs. As I write this post I am listening to one by Hank Williams. For those of you not familiar with country music, Hank Williams is one of the top artists in that genre. Born in 1923 he only lived 29 years yet in that short life time he recorded 35 singles that reached the top ten of Billboard Country and Western Best Sellers chart.
Unfortunately, his personal life was filled with problems. Years of alcoholism, prescription drug abuse and back pain haunted him for much of his professional life and no doubt contributed to his early death. Still, his music lives on and continues to be listened to everyone who loves true country music. One can only wonder what he might have been accomplished if his personal life had been different.
That question might be one we should all reflect on. Each of us have been blessed by God with life and various gifts and abilities. Unfortunately, many of us wander through life settling for lesser things rather than living our best possible lives. We fail to use the gifts God has given us, and we miss the opportunities we have to make a difference in the world around us. We pursue the trivial things life has to offer rather than lifting our sights to those opportunities God places before us.
There are times, when at the end of the day, I look back and wonder why I didn't use it more wisely. Like many things in life, our enemy is not the bad things that consume our time; it is that we settle for the good things rather than the best. We are to be wise stewards of this life God has given us, and as wise stewards we should seek to live our best lives every day.
Unfortunately, his personal life was filled with problems. Years of alcoholism, prescription drug abuse and back pain haunted him for much of his professional life and no doubt contributed to his early death. Still, his music lives on and continues to be listened to everyone who loves true country music. One can only wonder what he might have been accomplished if his personal life had been different.
That question might be one we should all reflect on. Each of us have been blessed by God with life and various gifts and abilities. Unfortunately, many of us wander through life settling for lesser things rather than living our best possible lives. We fail to use the gifts God has given us, and we miss the opportunities we have to make a difference in the world around us. We pursue the trivial things life has to offer rather than lifting our sights to those opportunities God places before us.
There are times, when at the end of the day, I look back and wonder why I didn't use it more wisely. Like many things in life, our enemy is not the bad things that consume our time; it is that we settle for the good things rather than the best. We are to be wise stewards of this life God has given us, and as wise stewards we should seek to live our best lives every day.
Monday, October 8, 2018
Dealing with differences
I was hoping that after a decision about Judge Kavanaugh was finalized that people would begin to tone down the rhetoric and decide to pursue different ways of discussing our differences. Silly me! I should have known after the events of the past 2-3 years that is not going to happen. We have become a nation that no longer knows how to discuss differences without making personal attacks on people's character, their intelligence, and anything else we can use to degrade one another.
Unfortunately, our President is not exactly leading the way in promoting civil discussion. His tweets often include name calling and sarcastic comments towards those who disagree with him. Some of our elected officials have taken it even further with some having actually encouraged their supporters to attack Republicans and their families in restaurants and other public places, and their supporters have been eager to do so. The fact is, we have precious little leadership today; we only have elected officials who often act more like children than national leaders.
I wish I could say the church has stayed above the fray, but that would not be true. I've seen many comments on social media from Christian leaders and lay persons that were just as hateful and mean-spirited as those coming from non-Christians. In a few cases, I became so weary reading their negative attacks I just unfriended them. I didn't want to drink their poison any more.
A friend of mine recently wrote that she was tired of being called stupid, and I'm sure worse, because she expressed her opinions on various matters. As a church leader I'm sure she did not expect that, especially from other Christians, but that has been her experience. I'm sure she and I would differ on many things politically, but she is certainly not stupid nor does she deserve to be attacked personally for stating her beliefs.
Screaming at one another on social media isn't going to change anyone's mind. Neither is blocking interstates, screaming at elected officials in elevators or running families out of restaurants. If you want to change people's minds engage them in actual discussions. Use real facts. Present actual evidence supporting your arguments. And if you still disagree, then do so civilly, and when election time rolls around vote for those people who best support your values.
Should the church be involved in political questions? Absolutely! Political issues often have moral values attached to them, and the church should be taking the lead when it comes to speaking on moral values. But, let's not resort to the kind of childish attacks we've seen in recent months. If we do, we have nothing better to offer the world than what is currently coming out of Washington, DC.
Unfortunately, our President is not exactly leading the way in promoting civil discussion. His tweets often include name calling and sarcastic comments towards those who disagree with him. Some of our elected officials have taken it even further with some having actually encouraged their supporters to attack Republicans and their families in restaurants and other public places, and their supporters have been eager to do so. The fact is, we have precious little leadership today; we only have elected officials who often act more like children than national leaders.
I wish I could say the church has stayed above the fray, but that would not be true. I've seen many comments on social media from Christian leaders and lay persons that were just as hateful and mean-spirited as those coming from non-Christians. In a few cases, I became so weary reading their negative attacks I just unfriended them. I didn't want to drink their poison any more.
A friend of mine recently wrote that she was tired of being called stupid, and I'm sure worse, because she expressed her opinions on various matters. As a church leader I'm sure she did not expect that, especially from other Christians, but that has been her experience. I'm sure she and I would differ on many things politically, but she is certainly not stupid nor does she deserve to be attacked personally for stating her beliefs.
Screaming at one another on social media isn't going to change anyone's mind. Neither is blocking interstates, screaming at elected officials in elevators or running families out of restaurants. If you want to change people's minds engage them in actual discussions. Use real facts. Present actual evidence supporting your arguments. And if you still disagree, then do so civilly, and when election time rolls around vote for those people who best support your values.
Should the church be involved in political questions? Absolutely! Political issues often have moral values attached to them, and the church should be taking the lead when it comes to speaking on moral values. But, let's not resort to the kind of childish attacks we've seen in recent months. If we do, we have nothing better to offer the world than what is currently coming out of Washington, DC.
Tuesday, September 5, 2017
You notice the things you're looking for
A few weeks ago I read The Noticer: Sometimes, all a person needs is a little perspective by Andy Andrews. It tells the story of a drifter who sees things that others miss. As he talks with people going through various problems he reminds them that sometimes all that is needed is a "little perspective."
The first person the drifter talked to was a young man named Andy who was struggling with his life. In one of their early encounters he brought Andy a meal which they ate on the beach where Andy was living. The meal consisted of sardines and Vienna sausages. During their conversation he asked Andy what he was eating and where. Andy replied he was eating sardines and Vienna sausages in the sand. When they finished their conversation the drifter told Andy that maybe that was what Andy was eating, but he had dined on surf and turf with an ocean view! It's all about perspective. He then reminded Andy that "Whatever you focus upon, increases."
What a powerful reminder! It's so easy to grow critical about our churches, our families, our businesses, and our lives in general. I've certainly had times when everything I focused on was negative, and the more I focused on the negative the more negative I became.
As a judicatory minister working with numerous pastors I met many who seemed to hate the churches they served. Some of these pastors never had a positive thing to say about their church or their ministries. I wondered why they stayed in the ministry if it made them that miserable. Such ministers seemed to change churches fairly often, I assume thinking they would eventually find one they liked, but it seldom happened. They would not be long in their new church before they found things to complain about in that church.
There were times during my pastoral ministry when I became frustrated with our church. We all do. But, each of us have the option of focusing on the negative things happening in our churches or focusing on the positive things. I once coached a bivocational pastor who was very frustrated that things were not moving forward faster in his church than they were. He was ready to leave until I reminded him of all the positive things he had told me about the church. Even though he had told me about the positive things, he had forgotten them as his focus had drifted to some negative things that had occurred recently.
If you look for negative things, you'll find them regardless of what you do for a living. However, the same thing is true of positive things. You will find what you are looking for, and those things will increase.
The next time you become frustrated with some aspect of your life step back and begin to look for the positive things about that aspect. I bet if you look for them you'll find them, and when you do it will begin to change the way you look at it. Sometimes all you need is a little perspective. This book can help you get that perspective.
The first person the drifter talked to was a young man named Andy who was struggling with his life. In one of their early encounters he brought Andy a meal which they ate on the beach where Andy was living. The meal consisted of sardines and Vienna sausages. During their conversation he asked Andy what he was eating and where. Andy replied he was eating sardines and Vienna sausages in the sand. When they finished their conversation the drifter told Andy that maybe that was what Andy was eating, but he had dined on surf and turf with an ocean view! It's all about perspective. He then reminded Andy that "Whatever you focus upon, increases."
What a powerful reminder! It's so easy to grow critical about our churches, our families, our businesses, and our lives in general. I've certainly had times when everything I focused on was negative, and the more I focused on the negative the more negative I became.
As a judicatory minister working with numerous pastors I met many who seemed to hate the churches they served. Some of these pastors never had a positive thing to say about their church or their ministries. I wondered why they stayed in the ministry if it made them that miserable. Such ministers seemed to change churches fairly often, I assume thinking they would eventually find one they liked, but it seldom happened. They would not be long in their new church before they found things to complain about in that church.
There were times during my pastoral ministry when I became frustrated with our church. We all do. But, each of us have the option of focusing on the negative things happening in our churches or focusing on the positive things. I once coached a bivocational pastor who was very frustrated that things were not moving forward faster in his church than they were. He was ready to leave until I reminded him of all the positive things he had told me about the church. Even though he had told me about the positive things, he had forgotten them as his focus had drifted to some negative things that had occurred recently.
If you look for negative things, you'll find them regardless of what you do for a living. However, the same thing is true of positive things. You will find what you are looking for, and those things will increase.
The next time you become frustrated with some aspect of your life step back and begin to look for the positive things about that aspect. I bet if you look for them you'll find them, and when you do it will begin to change the way you look at it. Sometimes all you need is a little perspective. This book can help you get that perspective.
Wednesday, May 3, 2017
When you're only against something
The fitness center where I work out has eight televisions lined up in front of the treadmills. You can plug ear phones into any of them if you want to listen, but I take an I-Pod to catch up on listening to my podcasts. However, I do occasionally look to see what's on each of the stations they have playing. Yesterday morning the entire hour I was at the fitness center CNN ran nothing but stories that focused on what they perceived to be the negatives of the Trump administration.
There were other news stations besides CNN on the TVs, and they ran various stories during my exercise routine, but CNN was only focused on trying to discredit the President and his administration. It's very difficult for me to imagine those responsible for selecting what news to report can find nothing worth reporting except their issues with President Trump. I do not normally watch CNN, and I understand that puts me in the majority of viewers. If this hour is any indication of their journalism it's not hard to understand why their ratings are low.
This post is not really about CNN and its issues with the President, but it is a good illustration of what happens when you become solely focused on what you are against that you forget what your real purpose should be. Unfortunately, many churches and pastors fall into that trap as well. We get focused on some behavior and we become better known for what we are against than what we are for.
For instance, many churches get caught up railing against the "sin of the month." These churches jump from one sin to another based on what the culture is doing at that particular time. I'm not saying we should not preach against sin and even name the sins, but if that is our only focus we are doing our congregations a disservice. Our primary focus should be on Jesus Christ and His grace. If we can introduce people to Christ, He can work to clean up the sins in their lives. I certainly don't mind challenging people about the wrong choices they are making in their lives, but I also do not intend to beat them up over those choices. Instead, I want to help them connect to the One Who can offer them forgiveness and help them make better life choices. If you want to drive people away from the church, spend all your time telling them what you are against. If you want to attract people to the church, tell them about the hope they can find in Jesus Christ.
Frankly, I did not always feel this way. I went through a period several years ago where my sermons had become quite harsh. I was beating up my people on Sunday. One day I was reviewing the past few sermons I had preached and became overwhelmed with conviction. That was not what God had called me to do. My job was to preach Christ. The next Sunday I confessed to our congregation what I had done and asked for their forgiveness. As always, they were very gracious, and I made sure that from then on my sermons offered the hope found in Jesus Christ and not the condemnation that would come from the Pharisees.
Change is another thing in a church that some people will always oppose. It doesn't really matter what the change is, some people will be against it simply because it's new and seems threatening. Again, these churches can develop a reputation for being against change which can scare away potential new members and pastors.
If there are people in your church who are always opposed to anything new, and never in favor of any change, you have to find a way to deal with them. You either have to try to get them on your side and include them in the initial discussions of any proposed change, or you have to find a way to work around them. Neither option is likely to be easy, but you cannot allow people who are only known for what they are against to set your agenda.
President Trump is far from a perfect individual, and he and his administration have made some mistakes. But, everything they've done hasn't been wrong, and for supposed news organizations to focus only on the mistakes isn't journalism.
We in church leadership are also not perfect, and there will be times when we are wrong. But, we're not always wrong, and people who only focus on our mistakes are not interested in seeing the church move forward. Don't be a church that is known only for what you are against. Such churches will never have a positive impact on people's lives.
There were other news stations besides CNN on the TVs, and they ran various stories during my exercise routine, but CNN was only focused on trying to discredit the President and his administration. It's very difficult for me to imagine those responsible for selecting what news to report can find nothing worth reporting except their issues with President Trump. I do not normally watch CNN, and I understand that puts me in the majority of viewers. If this hour is any indication of their journalism it's not hard to understand why their ratings are low.
This post is not really about CNN and its issues with the President, but it is a good illustration of what happens when you become solely focused on what you are against that you forget what your real purpose should be. Unfortunately, many churches and pastors fall into that trap as well. We get focused on some behavior and we become better known for what we are against than what we are for.
For instance, many churches get caught up railing against the "sin of the month." These churches jump from one sin to another based on what the culture is doing at that particular time. I'm not saying we should not preach against sin and even name the sins, but if that is our only focus we are doing our congregations a disservice. Our primary focus should be on Jesus Christ and His grace. If we can introduce people to Christ, He can work to clean up the sins in their lives. I certainly don't mind challenging people about the wrong choices they are making in their lives, but I also do not intend to beat them up over those choices. Instead, I want to help them connect to the One Who can offer them forgiveness and help them make better life choices. If you want to drive people away from the church, spend all your time telling them what you are against. If you want to attract people to the church, tell them about the hope they can find in Jesus Christ.
Frankly, I did not always feel this way. I went through a period several years ago where my sermons had become quite harsh. I was beating up my people on Sunday. One day I was reviewing the past few sermons I had preached and became overwhelmed with conviction. That was not what God had called me to do. My job was to preach Christ. The next Sunday I confessed to our congregation what I had done and asked for their forgiveness. As always, they were very gracious, and I made sure that from then on my sermons offered the hope found in Jesus Christ and not the condemnation that would come from the Pharisees.
Change is another thing in a church that some people will always oppose. It doesn't really matter what the change is, some people will be against it simply because it's new and seems threatening. Again, these churches can develop a reputation for being against change which can scare away potential new members and pastors.
If there are people in your church who are always opposed to anything new, and never in favor of any change, you have to find a way to deal with them. You either have to try to get them on your side and include them in the initial discussions of any proposed change, or you have to find a way to work around them. Neither option is likely to be easy, but you cannot allow people who are only known for what they are against to set your agenda.
President Trump is far from a perfect individual, and he and his administration have made some mistakes. But, everything they've done hasn't been wrong, and for supposed news organizations to focus only on the mistakes isn't journalism.
We in church leadership are also not perfect, and there will be times when we are wrong. But, we're not always wrong, and people who only focus on our mistakes are not interested in seeing the church move forward. Don't be a church that is known only for what you are against. Such churches will never have a positive impact on people's lives.
Friday, February 24, 2017
Talking about differences
I was saddened today by the news that Alan Colmes has passed away. Colmes was the liberal half of Hannity and Colmes on Fox for a number of years before the channel gave Hannity the program by himself. Colmes remained a political commentator on Fox providing liberal insights on the news of the day.
Although I seldom agreed with most of Colmes' views, I deeply appreciated the way he conducted himself as he debated with the more conservative commentators at Fox. I seldom heard Colmes interrupt a speaker or try to shout over those with whom he disagreed. Frankly, I've stopped watching most of those who debate political and social issues on television because of the way they approach their debates. Most seem to think if they interrupt and talk louder it makes their points stronger. Colmes did not approach his discussions like that. He spoke in even tones, presented his views, explained why he believed as he did, and listened to opposing views. I admired him very much, and from the comments that have appeared today, so did many others.
Colmes provided the type of civil discussion that is often missing today. Many in our culture no longer know how to carry on civilized discussion. Rather than trying to explain their views many begin to personally attack those who disagree with them. We talk at one another rather than talking to one another. We gather in mobs and riot to get what we want instead of engaging in civilized discussion.
Unfortunately, the church is not immune to such activity. Church business meetings can become intense when opposing sides begin to engage in personal attacks rather than discussing the actual issues that have caused the division. Church members begin to form alliances in order to do battle with those with whom they disagree. Parking lot meetings become the order of the day, and gossip and dissension creates division within the body.
As the body of Christ, the church must set the example for civil discussion. Even when protests and civil disobedience is called for they should be done in a way that honors God. As I stated in a recent post, Rosa Parks protested by refusing to give up her seat on a bus; she did not set fire to the bus. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. led numerous protests in an effort to get civil rights laws passed, but he insisted on peaceful protests. The ones he led only became violent when officials made them violent.
I did not know Alan Colmes personally, and any opinion I have of him comes only from watching him on TV, but I found him to be a gentleman who held to strong beliefs about politics and social issues. He defended his positions well and in a way that was decent and honorable. Even his critics have said today that he was a kind and caring man, a decent human being, who will be missed. May that be said of each of us when we pass.
Although I seldom agreed with most of Colmes' views, I deeply appreciated the way he conducted himself as he debated with the more conservative commentators at Fox. I seldom heard Colmes interrupt a speaker or try to shout over those with whom he disagreed. Frankly, I've stopped watching most of those who debate political and social issues on television because of the way they approach their debates. Most seem to think if they interrupt and talk louder it makes their points stronger. Colmes did not approach his discussions like that. He spoke in even tones, presented his views, explained why he believed as he did, and listened to opposing views. I admired him very much, and from the comments that have appeared today, so did many others.
Colmes provided the type of civil discussion that is often missing today. Many in our culture no longer know how to carry on civilized discussion. Rather than trying to explain their views many begin to personally attack those who disagree with them. We talk at one another rather than talking to one another. We gather in mobs and riot to get what we want instead of engaging in civilized discussion.
Unfortunately, the church is not immune to such activity. Church business meetings can become intense when opposing sides begin to engage in personal attacks rather than discussing the actual issues that have caused the division. Church members begin to form alliances in order to do battle with those with whom they disagree. Parking lot meetings become the order of the day, and gossip and dissension creates division within the body.
As the body of Christ, the church must set the example for civil discussion. Even when protests and civil disobedience is called for they should be done in a way that honors God. As I stated in a recent post, Rosa Parks protested by refusing to give up her seat on a bus; she did not set fire to the bus. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. led numerous protests in an effort to get civil rights laws passed, but he insisted on peaceful protests. The ones he led only became violent when officials made them violent.
I did not know Alan Colmes personally, and any opinion I have of him comes only from watching him on TV, but I found him to be a gentleman who held to strong beliefs about politics and social issues. He defended his positions well and in a way that was decent and honorable. Even his critics have said today that he was a kind and caring man, a decent human being, who will be missed. May that be said of each of us when we pass.
Thursday, January 19, 2017
Does success bring happiness in ministry?
If success brought happiness then every time someone achieves a goal he or she should be happy. However, we know in the real world that is not always true. We may be happy about the momentary success, but it doesn't last. As soon as we come down from the temporary high our work and problems are staring us in the face. And, as Shawn Achor points out in his book, The Happiness Advantage, "With each victory, our goalposts of success keep getting pushed further and further out, so that happiness gets pushed over the horizon."
Achor has done extensive research on happiness and its impact on one's life and achievements. This research has shown that the common belief that success brings happiness is not true. In fact, the reverse is true. Happiness gives us the edge we need to achieve greater results in our endeavors. As Achor demonstrates, our brains are hardwired to perform best when they are filled with positive emotions such as happiness.
Not only do our emotions affect our own success, they also have an impact on those around us. Emotions leak. If we spend time around negative, unhappy people we are apt to find our own thinking to become negative and toxic. If we are the negative ones we are impacting those around us, co-workers, family, friends, with that same toxicity. Soon, our entire family or work force may begin to reflect our negativity in what they do spreading it even further.
Achor's studies have much to say to those of us in ministerial leadership. I've sat in on many pastor gatherings that were filled with frustration and anger with much of that negativity directed towards the congregations they were leading. I've visited worship services where the pastor lashed out at the congregation and then wondered why the church was declining and the ones who remained were not more involved in ministry. Speaking with one of the most committed Christians I've known after one such service, she told me this was a weekly occurrence, and after attending that church for years they were actively seeking another place to worship.
After 35 years in ministry I know how frustrating it can be. But, if we can't be excited about being called by God to serve a congregation I'm not sure what can excite us. If we can't feel hope for our congregation and see an exciting future for it, then there is no way anyone else will. Quite frankly, some pastors need to leave the ministry if they are unable to recapture the earlier excitement they felt when they began.
If you're miserable in the ministry I encourage you to read Achor's book. If he doesn't convince you that leaders must maintain a positive attitude if they want to influence those they are serving, then maybe it is time for you leave your church. They don't need their pastor spreading his or her toxicity around the congregation. But, if you read this book and become determined to recapture that earlier joy and excitement you once felt in the ministry you can enjoy a very rewarding ministry. Pray and ask God to help you once again find the happiness you once knew in ministry. That's a prayer He'll be glad to answer, and you'll be glad He did.
Achor has done extensive research on happiness and its impact on one's life and achievements. This research has shown that the common belief that success brings happiness is not true. In fact, the reverse is true. Happiness gives us the edge we need to achieve greater results in our endeavors. As Achor demonstrates, our brains are hardwired to perform best when they are filled with positive emotions such as happiness.
Not only do our emotions affect our own success, they also have an impact on those around us. Emotions leak. If we spend time around negative, unhappy people we are apt to find our own thinking to become negative and toxic. If we are the negative ones we are impacting those around us, co-workers, family, friends, with that same toxicity. Soon, our entire family or work force may begin to reflect our negativity in what they do spreading it even further.
Achor's studies have much to say to those of us in ministerial leadership. I've sat in on many pastor gatherings that were filled with frustration and anger with much of that negativity directed towards the congregations they were leading. I've visited worship services where the pastor lashed out at the congregation and then wondered why the church was declining and the ones who remained were not more involved in ministry. Speaking with one of the most committed Christians I've known after one such service, she told me this was a weekly occurrence, and after attending that church for years they were actively seeking another place to worship.
After 35 years in ministry I know how frustrating it can be. But, if we can't be excited about being called by God to serve a congregation I'm not sure what can excite us. If we can't feel hope for our congregation and see an exciting future for it, then there is no way anyone else will. Quite frankly, some pastors need to leave the ministry if they are unable to recapture the earlier excitement they felt when they began.
If you're miserable in the ministry I encourage you to read Achor's book. If he doesn't convince you that leaders must maintain a positive attitude if they want to influence those they are serving, then maybe it is time for you leave your church. They don't need their pastor spreading his or her toxicity around the congregation. But, if you read this book and become determined to recapture that earlier joy and excitement you once felt in the ministry you can enjoy a very rewarding ministry. Pray and ask God to help you once again find the happiness you once knew in ministry. That's a prayer He'll be glad to answer, and you'll be glad He did.
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Success is just around the corner
Why does one marriage work out while another one ends in divorce? Why does one small business succeed and another one down the road closes its doors within months after opening? Why do some churches seem to attract people to Christ while others struggle to keep their doors open? Why do some teams seem to always be ranked near the top and others rarely have winning seasons? We could ask similar questions of every endeavor known to man, but the fact is that some have found the secret to success, if it may be called a secret, and others seem unable to recognize what it takes to succeed.
A few months ago I read a very insightful book about success called Take the Stairs: 7 Steps to Achieving True Success
by Rory Vaden. One of the reasons I enjoyed the book is because Vaden doesn't pretend there are secrets to success. In fact, he insists throughout the book that success is hard work, and that is a fact that many in our society today have either forgotten or want to pretend it isn't true. He writes
"The vast majority of Western societies have adopted an 'escalator mentality' - one that says getting what we want shouldn't require much work, and that there are always shortcuts in business and in life." There are no shortcuts to success. There is no easy way to the top. Most of us will find that finding success is more like climbing stairs than riding an escalator.
He goes on to write that, "There is one thing that all successful people have in common: Successful people have all had to do things they didn't feel like doing in order to get where they are."
We've all heard the saying: No pain, no gain. Well, this is certainly true when we think of success. It's true whether you are considering how to have a better marriage, a more profitable business, or a growing church. All require a lot of hard work, and there will be times when you find yourself doing things you would prefer to not do in order to enjoy the results you are seeking.
Many decide the hard work isn't worth it. They prefer to take the easy way out and seek a new spouse, a new career, or a different church. Surely, they think, the reason the current situation isn't working out is because they chose the wrong spouse, the wrong career, or the wrong church, and all their problems will be over once they correct their mistake. WRONG!
Running from one spouse to the next isn't going to solve your marriage problems. Jumping from one company to another probably won't be the solution. Church leaders who go from one church to another certain that this one will be the perfect church for them soon come face-to-face with the reality that there are no perfect churches. Success comes to those who are willing to work hard to make their current situation the right one.
Vaden points out in his book that success is often just beyond the point you feel like quitting. It's often just around the corner. I wonder if there will come a time in eternity where we will discover how many times we were inches from the goal line of success only to walk away defeated. One more play would have put us over, but instead we gave up.
It's almost always too soon to give up. When you feel that you've done everything you know to do, think of something else to try. Ask to see someone else's playbook. There's lot of things you can still try to do to succeed. Isn't success worth at least one more effort on your part?
A few months ago I read a very insightful book about success called Take the Stairs: 7 Steps to Achieving True Success
by Rory Vaden. One of the reasons I enjoyed the book is because Vaden doesn't pretend there are secrets to success. In fact, he insists throughout the book that success is hard work, and that is a fact that many in our society today have either forgotten or want to pretend it isn't true. He writes"The vast majority of Western societies have adopted an 'escalator mentality' - one that says getting what we want shouldn't require much work, and that there are always shortcuts in business and in life." There are no shortcuts to success. There is no easy way to the top. Most of us will find that finding success is more like climbing stairs than riding an escalator.
He goes on to write that, "There is one thing that all successful people have in common: Successful people have all had to do things they didn't feel like doing in order to get where they are."
We've all heard the saying: No pain, no gain. Well, this is certainly true when we think of success. It's true whether you are considering how to have a better marriage, a more profitable business, or a growing church. All require a lot of hard work, and there will be times when you find yourself doing things you would prefer to not do in order to enjoy the results you are seeking.
Many decide the hard work isn't worth it. They prefer to take the easy way out and seek a new spouse, a new career, or a different church. Surely, they think, the reason the current situation isn't working out is because they chose the wrong spouse, the wrong career, or the wrong church, and all their problems will be over once they correct their mistake. WRONG!
Running from one spouse to the next isn't going to solve your marriage problems. Jumping from one company to another probably won't be the solution. Church leaders who go from one church to another certain that this one will be the perfect church for them soon come face-to-face with the reality that there are no perfect churches. Success comes to those who are willing to work hard to make their current situation the right one.
Vaden points out in his book that success is often just beyond the point you feel like quitting. It's often just around the corner. I wonder if there will come a time in eternity where we will discover how many times we were inches from the goal line of success only to walk away defeated. One more play would have put us over, but instead we gave up.
It's almost always too soon to give up. When you feel that you've done everything you know to do, think of something else to try. Ask to see someone else's playbook. There's lot of things you can still try to do to succeed. Isn't success worth at least one more effort on your part?
Friday, November 18, 2016
Repairing a divided nation and church
In 1963 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his "I Have a Dream" speech which impacted all America. In this message he shared how he dreamed that one day people would not be judged by the color of their skin but by their character, and that people would not let their differences continue to divide them. This message resonated with people from all walks of life and helped this country begin to heal some of the racial divisions that had longed plagued this nation. Obviously, we still have a long way to go to see his dream completely fulfilled, but we have made progress.
We are today a nation divided by more than racial divisions. Our recent election process has demonstrated how divided a nation we are. In the past elections produced winners and losers, and everyone went about their business after the election. Some were pleased with the results, and others were not pleased, but the results were accepted and people went on with their lives. That has not been the case this time.
Riots broke out in many cities with much loss of property. People were pulled from their cars and beaten because of the candidate they supported. Some were shot. Numbers of people were arrested, and innocent people were terrorized by thugs all in the name of protesting the results of the election. Schools canceled classes so students could go to their "safe places" and grieve in safety over the election results. Suicide hot lines were reportedly overwhelmed with callers thinking of ending their lives because their candidate was not elected. Never in the history of this nation have we seen such actions at the end of an election.
We are a divided nation. We are a nation of African-Americans, Greek-Americans, Asian-Americans, Euro-Americans, Native-Americans, etc. As long as we are a hyphenated people we will be a divided nation. There is nothing wrong with appreciating our heritages, but we must first and foremost be Americans or we will continue to be divided. We are conservative, liberal, independent, libertarian, green, etc. As long as we are more focused on our political bents than on focusing on making American great for all Americans we will remain a divided nation. Until Democrats and Republicans commit to working together to ensure that all Americans can share in the American dream we will be a divided nation. Until political parties are more committed to America than they are to winning votes we will continue to be a divided nation.
For 35 years I have served in pastoral and judicatory ministry, and I have seen the church divided over both major and minor issues. I have seen some of the most childish behavior among church people, most of whom would insist they were mature believers, over matters that didn't deserve even minor discussion. I have witnessed believers scream and curse at one another over matters of minor church polity and then wonder why their children were not interested in the church or the Christian faith.
Because of social media this election has brought out some of the worst in many Christians. The election is past, but some are still whining about the results. They are judging the actions of a man who has not even taken office and expressing their fears about what he might or might not do. At the least one would think they would withhold their criticism and judgement until he has actually done something that alarms them, but they are already demonstrating a critical spirit.
The church is divided among liberals, moderates, and conservatives and a host of newer categories. Seldom are these various factions able to work together on matters of importance. Billy Graham was often criticized because he invited leaders from all factions of Christianity to work together to help his crusades touch the most people possible. It's like some Christians would prefer that people not hear the Gospel than to work alongside some they disagree with to help make that possible.
America and the churches within its borders are in a dangerous place right now. Until we address the divisions that exist in both we are going to continue to drift away from what we might have been. Until we recognize that what we have in common is far more important than what divides us we will never be able to work together for the common good. I'm not calling for us to ignore our differences or pretend they don't exist. I am calling for us to stop putting people in boxes based upon those differences and refuse to work with anyone who isn't in our box.
If we truly want all Americans to once again participate in the American dream then our leaders and those of us in the streets and fields of this nation have to put aside our differences and find ways to work together to make that happen. If we in the church want the church to once again influence and impact our culture we have to find ways to work together to make that happen. If we fail, our nation and churches will continue their downward spiral, and the dreams of Dr. King and countless others will never be realized.
We are today a nation divided by more than racial divisions. Our recent election process has demonstrated how divided a nation we are. In the past elections produced winners and losers, and everyone went about their business after the election. Some were pleased with the results, and others were not pleased, but the results were accepted and people went on with their lives. That has not been the case this time.
Riots broke out in many cities with much loss of property. People were pulled from their cars and beaten because of the candidate they supported. Some were shot. Numbers of people were arrested, and innocent people were terrorized by thugs all in the name of protesting the results of the election. Schools canceled classes so students could go to their "safe places" and grieve in safety over the election results. Suicide hot lines were reportedly overwhelmed with callers thinking of ending their lives because their candidate was not elected. Never in the history of this nation have we seen such actions at the end of an election.
We are a divided nation. We are a nation of African-Americans, Greek-Americans, Asian-Americans, Euro-Americans, Native-Americans, etc. As long as we are a hyphenated people we will be a divided nation. There is nothing wrong with appreciating our heritages, but we must first and foremost be Americans or we will continue to be divided. We are conservative, liberal, independent, libertarian, green, etc. As long as we are more focused on our political bents than on focusing on making American great for all Americans we will remain a divided nation. Until Democrats and Republicans commit to working together to ensure that all Americans can share in the American dream we will be a divided nation. Until political parties are more committed to America than they are to winning votes we will continue to be a divided nation.
For 35 years I have served in pastoral and judicatory ministry, and I have seen the church divided over both major and minor issues. I have seen some of the most childish behavior among church people, most of whom would insist they were mature believers, over matters that didn't deserve even minor discussion. I have witnessed believers scream and curse at one another over matters of minor church polity and then wonder why their children were not interested in the church or the Christian faith.
Because of social media this election has brought out some of the worst in many Christians. The election is past, but some are still whining about the results. They are judging the actions of a man who has not even taken office and expressing their fears about what he might or might not do. At the least one would think they would withhold their criticism and judgement until he has actually done something that alarms them, but they are already demonstrating a critical spirit.
The church is divided among liberals, moderates, and conservatives and a host of newer categories. Seldom are these various factions able to work together on matters of importance. Billy Graham was often criticized because he invited leaders from all factions of Christianity to work together to help his crusades touch the most people possible. It's like some Christians would prefer that people not hear the Gospel than to work alongside some they disagree with to help make that possible.
America and the churches within its borders are in a dangerous place right now. Until we address the divisions that exist in both we are going to continue to drift away from what we might have been. Until we recognize that what we have in common is far more important than what divides us we will never be able to work together for the common good. I'm not calling for us to ignore our differences or pretend they don't exist. I am calling for us to stop putting people in boxes based upon those differences and refuse to work with anyone who isn't in our box.
If we truly want all Americans to once again participate in the American dream then our leaders and those of us in the streets and fields of this nation have to put aside our differences and find ways to work together to make that happen. If we in the church want the church to once again influence and impact our culture we have to find ways to work together to make that happen. If we fail, our nation and churches will continue their downward spiral, and the dreams of Dr. King and countless others will never be realized.
Monday, August 8, 2016
This election is bringing out the worst in Christians
America has become a nation of rude, vulgar, and crass people. The lack of civility has only increased in recent years, and this election is making it even worse. Most disturbing is that many Christians can be included in this description of our society.
People seem more divided in this election cycle than in any I can remember. Although neither party nominated a person of sterling character, it seems that we are blind to the negatives our candidate brings to this election while believing that the other candidate is the devil incarnate. It is a shame in a nation of over 300 million people these are the best we can get to run for the highest office of the land, but this is where we are.
Both national conventions revealed how divided even our major political parties are in 2016. Republican leaders stayed away from their convention in droves at least partly in opposition to the nominee who would represent their party. The Democrat held a convention in which even the opening prayer was booed. According to one video I saw, one night of the convention Sanders supporters found their seats filled with non-delegates in an effort by the DNC to silence their protests.
Even more disturbing is the way Christians are attacking one another, especially on social media, for supporting one candidate or another. I've seen many comments from Christians that are just as ugly and crass as those coming from non-Christians. Christians are challenging the intelligence and even the faith of fellow believers who are supporting the candidate they oppose. It's fine to have a debate on the qualifications of the candidates and even to disagree, but we don't need to be disagreeable when we do so. Followers of Jesus Christ should at least be civil to one another when we disagree. If this isn't possible to do then the least they can do is to stay off social media until the election is over.
Like many, I know which candidate I prefer. It wasn't my first or even second choice during the primaries, but between the two candidates this is the only one for which I could vote. No doubt some of my friends will vote for the other candidate. They will have their reasons as I do for supporting their candidate. I may disagree with those reasons, but they have a right to hold them as I do to mine. When the election is over we will still be friends regardless of which candidate is elected.
Our goal should be to treat one another with respect regardless of our differences. I never want to have to apologize for something I've said or done while disagreeing with someone, and that should be a goal for every Christian.
Let's tone down the rhetoric and stop the personal attacks on those who hold opposing viewpoints. When this election is over, regardless of who wins, remember three things. Scripture commands us to pray for those in authority over us, God doesn't fly on Air Force One, and our salvation does not come out of Washington, DC.
People seem more divided in this election cycle than in any I can remember. Although neither party nominated a person of sterling character, it seems that we are blind to the negatives our candidate brings to this election while believing that the other candidate is the devil incarnate. It is a shame in a nation of over 300 million people these are the best we can get to run for the highest office of the land, but this is where we are.
Both national conventions revealed how divided even our major political parties are in 2016. Republican leaders stayed away from their convention in droves at least partly in opposition to the nominee who would represent their party. The Democrat held a convention in which even the opening prayer was booed. According to one video I saw, one night of the convention Sanders supporters found their seats filled with non-delegates in an effort by the DNC to silence their protests.
Even more disturbing is the way Christians are attacking one another, especially on social media, for supporting one candidate or another. I've seen many comments from Christians that are just as ugly and crass as those coming from non-Christians. Christians are challenging the intelligence and even the faith of fellow believers who are supporting the candidate they oppose. It's fine to have a debate on the qualifications of the candidates and even to disagree, but we don't need to be disagreeable when we do so. Followers of Jesus Christ should at least be civil to one another when we disagree. If this isn't possible to do then the least they can do is to stay off social media until the election is over.
Like many, I know which candidate I prefer. It wasn't my first or even second choice during the primaries, but between the two candidates this is the only one for which I could vote. No doubt some of my friends will vote for the other candidate. They will have their reasons as I do for supporting their candidate. I may disagree with those reasons, but they have a right to hold them as I do to mine. When the election is over we will still be friends regardless of which candidate is elected.
Our goal should be to treat one another with respect regardless of our differences. I never want to have to apologize for something I've said or done while disagreeing with someone, and that should be a goal for every Christian.
Let's tone down the rhetoric and stop the personal attacks on those who hold opposing viewpoints. When this election is over, regardless of who wins, remember three things. Scripture commands us to pray for those in authority over us, God doesn't fly on Air Force One, and our salvation does not come out of Washington, DC.
Thursday, June 2, 2016
Let your speech be with grace
The Apostle Paul reminds us in Colossians 4:6 "Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one."
I have to admit that there have been times I've struggled with this one. In fact, many times. Once, as I was reviewing my sermons for the previous few months, I noticed that many of them were quite negative in tone. The more I read through my sermon notes the more convicted I became. The next Sunday I began my message by apologizing to the congregation for the negativity that had been in my sermons for the previous months.
Many people come to church having been beaten up by life all week. They don't need to come to church only to have the pastor hammer them as well. As I shared that morning, I can say anything I need to say in a positive manner as well as in a negative one. I was committed from that time forward to eliminate the negativity from my sermons. I would not compromise the Gospel in any way, but I would also not beat up my listeners anymore either.
Writing this blog presents many opportunities to rant about some issue that is especially troublesome. Although I have written the occasional rant, I've tried to do so as graciously as possible. Believe me, there was much more I wanted to say in some of those rants! I tried my best to edit out the negativity and voice my concerns in a more positive and gracious way.
Yesterday, a friend of mine posted something on Facebook. I agreed with him, but another of his friends attacked his post. I responded in a very sarcastic manner, published my response, and was immediately convicted. I instantly deleted my post.
We seem to live in a world of crudeness. We have lost the ability to be civil with one another. People on social media say the most disgusting and cruel things to each other. If you read a news item online the comments that follow are often crude and ugly. Rather than commenting on the article these comments are more often than not personal attacks on the persons mentioned in the article. Unfortunately, Christians are included among those who resort to personal attacks and rude comments towards those who disagree with them.
Political events result in arrests as mobs run wild. Road rage incidents continue to escalate. Just yesterday the news reported that a car purposefully ran over a motorcycle injuring both riders after words were exchanged at a stop light.
We cannot control the actions of others nor can we control what they say and write. But, we can control our own speech. Maybe if each of us takes personal responsibility for our speech we can begin to restore some civility to this nation once again. Let's make sure our speech is always full of grace.
I have to admit that there have been times I've struggled with this one. In fact, many times. Once, as I was reviewing my sermons for the previous few months, I noticed that many of them were quite negative in tone. The more I read through my sermon notes the more convicted I became. The next Sunday I began my message by apologizing to the congregation for the negativity that had been in my sermons for the previous months.
Many people come to church having been beaten up by life all week. They don't need to come to church only to have the pastor hammer them as well. As I shared that morning, I can say anything I need to say in a positive manner as well as in a negative one. I was committed from that time forward to eliminate the negativity from my sermons. I would not compromise the Gospel in any way, but I would also not beat up my listeners anymore either.
Writing this blog presents many opportunities to rant about some issue that is especially troublesome. Although I have written the occasional rant, I've tried to do so as graciously as possible. Believe me, there was much more I wanted to say in some of those rants! I tried my best to edit out the negativity and voice my concerns in a more positive and gracious way.
Yesterday, a friend of mine posted something on Facebook. I agreed with him, but another of his friends attacked his post. I responded in a very sarcastic manner, published my response, and was immediately convicted. I instantly deleted my post.
We seem to live in a world of crudeness. We have lost the ability to be civil with one another. People on social media say the most disgusting and cruel things to each other. If you read a news item online the comments that follow are often crude and ugly. Rather than commenting on the article these comments are more often than not personal attacks on the persons mentioned in the article. Unfortunately, Christians are included among those who resort to personal attacks and rude comments towards those who disagree with them.
Political events result in arrests as mobs run wild. Road rage incidents continue to escalate. Just yesterday the news reported that a car purposefully ran over a motorcycle injuring both riders after words were exchanged at a stop light.
We cannot control the actions of others nor can we control what they say and write. But, we can control our own speech. Maybe if each of us takes personal responsibility for our speech we can begin to restore some civility to this nation once again. Let's make sure our speech is always full of grace.
Monday, January 25, 2016
When the leader loses hope
This was one of the most popular articles on this blog in 2015 based upon the number of people who read it. It obviously found an audience. Because I know how discouraging ministry can be at times I decided to post it again in the hope that some will find encouragement and some helpful advice.
I was a pastor of one church for twenty years. For the past fourteen years I've served as a judicatory minister serving the churches in our region. I know how frustrating it can be for pastors who struggle to lead their churches only to see few results. For those of us in my generation it is especially troublesome because it seems everything we learned earlier in our ministries is no longer applicable today. The world is changing much more rapidly than our churches are willing to change, and it's changing much more rapidly than some of us can keep up with.
However, having said all that, it still bothers me when I talk with pastors and church leaders who have given up. There is something sad about pastors and lay leaders who have lost hope. These are people in positions of leadership in their churches and yet they have nothing to give those churches. When you lose hope, when you can't see anything positive in what you are doing or see how things will get better, you can't lead.
Sometimes this is due to depression or burnout, but there are ways to address those. Regular readers of this blog know that I've been very open about a period of depression I experienced in the mid-80s. I couldn't see very much positive about what was happening in my life or ministry during those dark days, but I also knew that I was depressed. Counseling and medication corrected that condition within a few months and I regained my confidence and hope.
The problem comes when the lack of hope isn't the result of illness but when it occurs because of difficulties in the church. People leave for another church. Controllers in the church create on-going problems. Finances and attendance continues to decline. First-time guests never return. People claim they want growth but refuse to accept the changes necessary for such growth to occur. It become more difficult to find volunteers. The list of problems goes on and on, and it can become overwhelming.
Well...if you have been called to the ministry this is part of what that calling entails. Did you think that the ministry was going to be all sunshine and roses? Did you think your ministry was supposed to be easier than Jesus' ministry? If so, I've got real bad news: it won't be. There will be people who will disappoint you, who will hurt you, who will say negative things about you, and who will resist your leadership. Your church may not grow as fast as the new church in town. Again, the list goes on and on.
We can't control events outside ourselves or how others will behave; we can only control how we respond to those events and individuals. If we allow those negative things to take away our hope then we have nothing to offer our churches. If a pastor spends the majority of his or her time feeling sorry about himself or herself and complaining about how hard ministry is and how this church isn't ever going to do better, then he or she needs to resign immediately and probably leave the ministry. Your church deserves better and probably won't ever improve as long as you are in the role of their leader.
A church will never overcome its challenges and problems with leaders who have lost hope that things will ever improve. One cannot lead without hope, and it takes leadership to turn things around.
How does a leader regain and maintain a sense of hope? Instead of focusing on the negative things begin to re-examine all the positive things that have happened under your ministry. Look at the difference your ministry and church have made in the lives of other people. Take a fresh look at the new ministry opportunities that exist in your community and begin to ask God how he would have you respond. Quick looking at the resources you don't have and determine what resources are available, and then discuss among the leadership how those resources can best be used for ministry. Spend more time with positive people who are excited about what's happening in their lives and ministries. (BTW - If you walk around like Eeyore these people will avoid you like the plague, and you need to stay away from people like that too!) Most importantly, refocus on God's call on your life and upon him. God called you because he has great things for your ministry and the confidence that you can do them with his help. Begin to believe in yourself and your ministry as much as he does and see if your hope doesn't return.
I was a pastor of one church for twenty years. For the past fourteen years I've served as a judicatory minister serving the churches in our region. I know how frustrating it can be for pastors who struggle to lead their churches only to see few results. For those of us in my generation it is especially troublesome because it seems everything we learned earlier in our ministries is no longer applicable today. The world is changing much more rapidly than our churches are willing to change, and it's changing much more rapidly than some of us can keep up with.
However, having said all that, it still bothers me when I talk with pastors and church leaders who have given up. There is something sad about pastors and lay leaders who have lost hope. These are people in positions of leadership in their churches and yet they have nothing to give those churches. When you lose hope, when you can't see anything positive in what you are doing or see how things will get better, you can't lead.
Sometimes this is due to depression or burnout, but there are ways to address those. Regular readers of this blog know that I've been very open about a period of depression I experienced in the mid-80s. I couldn't see very much positive about what was happening in my life or ministry during those dark days, but I also knew that I was depressed. Counseling and medication corrected that condition within a few months and I regained my confidence and hope.
The problem comes when the lack of hope isn't the result of illness but when it occurs because of difficulties in the church. People leave for another church. Controllers in the church create on-going problems. Finances and attendance continues to decline. First-time guests never return. People claim they want growth but refuse to accept the changes necessary for such growth to occur. It become more difficult to find volunteers. The list of problems goes on and on, and it can become overwhelming.
Well...if you have been called to the ministry this is part of what that calling entails. Did you think that the ministry was going to be all sunshine and roses? Did you think your ministry was supposed to be easier than Jesus' ministry? If so, I've got real bad news: it won't be. There will be people who will disappoint you, who will hurt you, who will say negative things about you, and who will resist your leadership. Your church may not grow as fast as the new church in town. Again, the list goes on and on.
We can't control events outside ourselves or how others will behave; we can only control how we respond to those events and individuals. If we allow those negative things to take away our hope then we have nothing to offer our churches. If a pastor spends the majority of his or her time feeling sorry about himself or herself and complaining about how hard ministry is and how this church isn't ever going to do better, then he or she needs to resign immediately and probably leave the ministry. Your church deserves better and probably won't ever improve as long as you are in the role of their leader.
A church will never overcome its challenges and problems with leaders who have lost hope that things will ever improve. One cannot lead without hope, and it takes leadership to turn things around.
How does a leader regain and maintain a sense of hope? Instead of focusing on the negative things begin to re-examine all the positive things that have happened under your ministry. Look at the difference your ministry and church have made in the lives of other people. Take a fresh look at the new ministry opportunities that exist in your community and begin to ask God how he would have you respond. Quick looking at the resources you don't have and determine what resources are available, and then discuss among the leadership how those resources can best be used for ministry. Spend more time with positive people who are excited about what's happening in their lives and ministries. (BTW - If you walk around like Eeyore these people will avoid you like the plague, and you need to stay away from people like that too!) Most importantly, refocus on God's call on your life and upon him. God called you because he has great things for your ministry and the confidence that you can do them with his help. Begin to believe in yourself and your ministry as much as he does and see if your hope doesn't return.
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
The entitlement mindset
Recently, while on vacation, I witnessed a young boy of about eight years old screaming and crying because he had not been the winner of a costume contest. This kid had lost it! He was out of control. To make things worse, his mother just sat there letting him act out in public. I mumbled to my wife, "There's a kid who's going to know a lot of disappointment in life," while she was trying to get me to be quiet.
Children are now being raised by helicopter parents who hover over their kid ensuring that he or she never falls down, always wears a helmet, never hears the word no, and gets everything his or her little heart desires. On the sports field everyone gets a participation award, and schools put smiley faces on homework instead of grades. We wouldn't want to hurt their self-esteem. They may not be able to read their graduation diploma, but at least they'll feel good.
Now that we've taught little Johnny and Mary that they are entitled to anything they want we should not be surprised at any demands they make. You've probably read about the recent million student march that demanded free college tuition and student loan forgiveness. In their mind, an education is a right and making people pay for their education denies them that right.
It's a shame they weren't raised by my parents who told me more than once, "Society doesn't owe you anything. If you want something you have to work and earn it." When I got my driver's license and wanted a car all I had to do was get a job and buy it. I wasn't entitled to a car, and nobody was going to buy one for me unless I bought it myself. So, I worked all through high school so I could afford to buy a car. There is a certain dignity to earning the things you want in life rather than waiting for someone else to provide everything for you.
There is a very simple way to avoid student loan debt. We need to be teaching our children is that student loans should be avoided at all costs, and the best way to do that is to work and pay your way through school. Don't lay around all summer playing video games and spend your spring break laying out on some beach. Get a job. Have some dignity about yourself. Go to school part time and pay for your education as you go. That will help you grow up and keep you out of student loan debt. And by the way, you are not entitled to a college education. If you want a college education, then you pay for it.
To help you understand where I'm coming from, I didn't decide to go to college until I was in my mid-thirties. I was married with two children, working in a factory and pastoring a church. Working full-time I could only go to school part time, but that allowed me to cash-flow my education. By the time I eventually finished my education I had three degrees and never borrowed a dime for any of them.
Now that I'm off that soapbox let me say that unfortunately that same entitlement mindset exists in our churches as well. People leave the church because "they are not being fed." They leave because their feelings get hurt. A lady called me once and said she just didn't think she and her husband could attend their church any longer because she didn't like the way their pastor dressed. After 15 years in a judicatory role I should not be surprised at anything I see in churches, but I continue to be surprised at the pettiness and childishness I see in supposedly mature Christian adults.
Until we recognize that it's not all about us our churches are never going to function as God intended. People are going to hell while we argue over the color of carpet we're going to install in the sanctuary and whether or not the daycare should use the crayons in the Sunday school rooms.
In tomorrow's post I'll share the mindset we need to have rather than an entitlement mindset.
Children are now being raised by helicopter parents who hover over their kid ensuring that he or she never falls down, always wears a helmet, never hears the word no, and gets everything his or her little heart desires. On the sports field everyone gets a participation award, and schools put smiley faces on homework instead of grades. We wouldn't want to hurt their self-esteem. They may not be able to read their graduation diploma, but at least they'll feel good.
Now that we've taught little Johnny and Mary that they are entitled to anything they want we should not be surprised at any demands they make. You've probably read about the recent million student march that demanded free college tuition and student loan forgiveness. In their mind, an education is a right and making people pay for their education denies them that right.
It's a shame they weren't raised by my parents who told me more than once, "Society doesn't owe you anything. If you want something you have to work and earn it." When I got my driver's license and wanted a car all I had to do was get a job and buy it. I wasn't entitled to a car, and nobody was going to buy one for me unless I bought it myself. So, I worked all through high school so I could afford to buy a car. There is a certain dignity to earning the things you want in life rather than waiting for someone else to provide everything for you.
There is a very simple way to avoid student loan debt. We need to be teaching our children is that student loans should be avoided at all costs, and the best way to do that is to work and pay your way through school. Don't lay around all summer playing video games and spend your spring break laying out on some beach. Get a job. Have some dignity about yourself. Go to school part time and pay for your education as you go. That will help you grow up and keep you out of student loan debt. And by the way, you are not entitled to a college education. If you want a college education, then you pay for it.
To help you understand where I'm coming from, I didn't decide to go to college until I was in my mid-thirties. I was married with two children, working in a factory and pastoring a church. Working full-time I could only go to school part time, but that allowed me to cash-flow my education. By the time I eventually finished my education I had three degrees and never borrowed a dime for any of them.
Now that I'm off that soapbox let me say that unfortunately that same entitlement mindset exists in our churches as well. People leave the church because "they are not being fed." They leave because their feelings get hurt. A lady called me once and said she just didn't think she and her husband could attend their church any longer because she didn't like the way their pastor dressed. After 15 years in a judicatory role I should not be surprised at anything I see in churches, but I continue to be surprised at the pettiness and childishness I see in supposedly mature Christian adults.
Until we recognize that it's not all about us our churches are never going to function as God intended. People are going to hell while we argue over the color of carpet we're going to install in the sanctuary and whether or not the daycare should use the crayons in the Sunday school rooms.
In tomorrow's post I'll share the mindset we need to have rather than an entitlement mindset.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
What are you thinking about today?
In Philippians 4:8 the apostle Paul writes, "Finally, brethern, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - mediate on these things."
I've read these words dozens of times, and they came to me again as I was doing my devotional reading last week. In their excellent book Lost Virtue of Happiness: Discovering the Disciplines of the Good Life
J. P. Moreland and Klaus Issler address the problems of anxiety and depression. They write, "When we are anxious or depressed, we tend to obsess in cyclical thinking, to think over and over again about certain fearful or hurtful thoughts. We do this to try to anticipate a bad or worse-case scenario and to reassure ourselves that we are safe, that we can handle it...The problem with this strategy is that we get into a rut that is increasingly hard to escape from. As we mentioned earlier, studies have shown that obsessive thought and emotional patterns, as well as behaviors, literally create a neural pathway, a groove in the brain, that becomes habitual and contributes to a situation in which a person is literally stuck on a pattern, stuck in a rut."
In other words, if we continually dwell in negative thinking we can actually create neural pathways in our brains and become stuck in such thinking. Perhaps this explains why some people always seem to be so negative. They have wired themselves to be negative.
As I write these words, several people come to mind. This includes both lay people and pastors. I have met some pastors who always come across as angry or bitter, and they wonder why they struggle so much in the ministry.
The writers provide some helpful tips for those who struggle with negative thinking, but Paul's passage above also gives us insights into how to overcome that kind of thinking. Rather than allowing our minds to dwell on the negative we need to feed it positive thoughts that are true, noble, just, pure and lovely.
This doesn't mean we ignore the negative things that occur in our lives. It means we don't allow ourselves to obsessively dwell on them. We address them and try to resolve them as quickly as possible, but we continue to focus on the more positive things.
It also requires that we avoid toxic people who want to spread their toxicity onto every one they meet. You cannot spend all your time with negative thinking people without finding yourself sucked into their negativity. It's important that we surround ourselves with people who love life and who will help us focus on the right things by their way of living and thinking.
As a pastor there are many things about which I can become upset. But, there are also many other things about ministry about which I can rejoice and enjoy. We can choose which of the two we are going to concentrate our thinking on. If I have the ability to hard wire my mind I would prefer that it would be on the positive things Paul recommends. I think you do as well.
I've read these words dozens of times, and they came to me again as I was doing my devotional reading last week. In their excellent book Lost Virtue of Happiness: Discovering the Disciplines of the Good Life
J. P. Moreland and Klaus Issler address the problems of anxiety and depression. They write, "When we are anxious or depressed, we tend to obsess in cyclical thinking, to think over and over again about certain fearful or hurtful thoughts. We do this to try to anticipate a bad or worse-case scenario and to reassure ourselves that we are safe, that we can handle it...The problem with this strategy is that we get into a rut that is increasingly hard to escape from. As we mentioned earlier, studies have shown that obsessive thought and emotional patterns, as well as behaviors, literally create a neural pathway, a groove in the brain, that becomes habitual and contributes to a situation in which a person is literally stuck on a pattern, stuck in a rut."In other words, if we continually dwell in negative thinking we can actually create neural pathways in our brains and become stuck in such thinking. Perhaps this explains why some people always seem to be so negative. They have wired themselves to be negative.
As I write these words, several people come to mind. This includes both lay people and pastors. I have met some pastors who always come across as angry or bitter, and they wonder why they struggle so much in the ministry.
The writers provide some helpful tips for those who struggle with negative thinking, but Paul's passage above also gives us insights into how to overcome that kind of thinking. Rather than allowing our minds to dwell on the negative we need to feed it positive thoughts that are true, noble, just, pure and lovely.
This doesn't mean we ignore the negative things that occur in our lives. It means we don't allow ourselves to obsessively dwell on them. We address them and try to resolve them as quickly as possible, but we continue to focus on the more positive things.
It also requires that we avoid toxic people who want to spread their toxicity onto every one they meet. You cannot spend all your time with negative thinking people without finding yourself sucked into their negativity. It's important that we surround ourselves with people who love life and who will help us focus on the right things by their way of living and thinking.
As a pastor there are many things about which I can become upset. But, there are also many other things about ministry about which I can rejoice and enjoy. We can choose which of the two we are going to concentrate our thinking on. If I have the ability to hard wire my mind I would prefer that it would be on the positive things Paul recommends. I think you do as well.
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
What is holding your church back?
In last Friday's post I quoted something from Rory Vaden's book, Take the Stairs: 7 Steps to Achieving True Success
. Today, I want to share another topic he addressed in the book that I thought would be helpful to my readers. Towards the end of the book he emphasizes the importance of taking action. We can have the best of intentions, but if we never actually do anything we won't accomplish those intentions. Although we may acknowledge this is true, many of us struggle in the area of action. Why?
Vaden states there are three reasons we don't take the action we need to take.
The book speaks to each of these reasons so I'm not going into them here. I do recommend you read the book because it addresses a lot of things that will be helpful to those in church leadership.
When I speak to pastors and other church leaders about why their churches seem to be stuck, at least one of these three reasons are usually mentioned.
During my pastorate our denomination announced a capital funds campaign to increase our mission presence in the world. I challenged our church to give far more to this campaign than we had ever given before. The church voted to do that with only one person voting against it. The day after the vote I visited him and asked why he voted as he did. He explained that our church had struggled for years and things were starting to turn around. He felt we would fail to reach the large goal which would cause the church to become discouraged again. I told him I felt certain we could reach it if we were truly committed to world missions. At the end of the campaign we had raised over three times our pledge because we didn't let the fear of failure stop us from trying.
Perhaps the most common of these reasons is an entitlement mentality. Have you ever challenged your church to do something different in order to reach new people only to be told that they shouldn't have to do that? "Pastor, we shouldn't have to change our worship times. If people wanted to come to church they would come at the time we've had services for years." "I don't think we should have to sing different songs just to appeal to new people. The songs in our hymnals are good enough." These, and countless others responses, all reflect an entitlement mentality. "We're members of this church and we are entitled to do things the way we want!" Yea, that mentality is guaranteed to hold a church back.
I think perfectionism may be a bigger problem for us in the ministry than for our churches. We don't want to look like we don't know what we're doing, so we don't do anything until we are certain we can do it perfectly. The problem with that thinking is that no one can do anything perfectly the first time they do it.
The first time I preached in a church service I nearly rubbed the crease out of my pants. My hands were sweating and I kept rubbing them down the front of my pants trying to dry them off. When I got up to speak my throat was dry and it took all I could do to open my mouth. I had carefully prepared a message that I thought would fill the 30 or so minutes I had been given. I was done in ten.
I've now been preaching for over 30 years. I've led workshops for ministers across the US and in two provinces of Canada, given keynote speeches, and spoken to various service organizations. All of this is possible only because one night I was willing to preach a sermon even though I had never done so before. I knew I might fail, and I did! But I learned some things that night, and the next time was a little better, and the time after that was better, and so on. The fact is, after delivering thousands of messages I'm still learning and, I believe, improving. If we wait until we can do something perfectly before attempting to do anything, we'll never accomplish much in this life. Such an attitude will hold us, and our churches, back.
What is holding you or your church back? Is it fear, or entitlement, or perfectionism? You must overcome the thing that is holding you back if you want to begin to move forward. It may not be easy to do so, but it is doable.
. Today, I want to share another topic he addressed in the book that I thought would be helpful to my readers. Towards the end of the book he emphasizes the importance of taking action. We can have the best of intentions, but if we never actually do anything we won't accomplish those intentions. Although we may acknowledge this is true, many of us struggle in the area of action. Why?Vaden states there are three reasons we don't take the action we need to take.
- Fear - We are afraid to take the action.
- Entitlement - We believe we shouldn't have to take the action.
- Perfectionism - We won't do it if we can't do it right.
The book speaks to each of these reasons so I'm not going into them here. I do recommend you read the book because it addresses a lot of things that will be helpful to those in church leadership.
When I speak to pastors and other church leaders about why their churches seem to be stuck, at least one of these three reasons are usually mentioned.
During my pastorate our denomination announced a capital funds campaign to increase our mission presence in the world. I challenged our church to give far more to this campaign than we had ever given before. The church voted to do that with only one person voting against it. The day after the vote I visited him and asked why he voted as he did. He explained that our church had struggled for years and things were starting to turn around. He felt we would fail to reach the large goal which would cause the church to become discouraged again. I told him I felt certain we could reach it if we were truly committed to world missions. At the end of the campaign we had raised over three times our pledge because we didn't let the fear of failure stop us from trying.
Perhaps the most common of these reasons is an entitlement mentality. Have you ever challenged your church to do something different in order to reach new people only to be told that they shouldn't have to do that? "Pastor, we shouldn't have to change our worship times. If people wanted to come to church they would come at the time we've had services for years." "I don't think we should have to sing different songs just to appeal to new people. The songs in our hymnals are good enough." These, and countless others responses, all reflect an entitlement mentality. "We're members of this church and we are entitled to do things the way we want!" Yea, that mentality is guaranteed to hold a church back.
I think perfectionism may be a bigger problem for us in the ministry than for our churches. We don't want to look like we don't know what we're doing, so we don't do anything until we are certain we can do it perfectly. The problem with that thinking is that no one can do anything perfectly the first time they do it.
The first time I preached in a church service I nearly rubbed the crease out of my pants. My hands were sweating and I kept rubbing them down the front of my pants trying to dry them off. When I got up to speak my throat was dry and it took all I could do to open my mouth. I had carefully prepared a message that I thought would fill the 30 or so minutes I had been given. I was done in ten.
I've now been preaching for over 30 years. I've led workshops for ministers across the US and in two provinces of Canada, given keynote speeches, and spoken to various service organizations. All of this is possible only because one night I was willing to preach a sermon even though I had never done so before. I knew I might fail, and I did! But I learned some things that night, and the next time was a little better, and the time after that was better, and so on. The fact is, after delivering thousands of messages I'm still learning and, I believe, improving. If we wait until we can do something perfectly before attempting to do anything, we'll never accomplish much in this life. Such an attitude will hold us, and our churches, back.
What is holding you or your church back? Is it fear, or entitlement, or perfectionism? You must overcome the thing that is holding you back if you want to begin to move forward. It may not be easy to do so, but it is doable.
Monday, July 6, 2015
Drowning in the shallows
Last week in something I read I came across the phrase "drowning in the shallows." The writer used these words to describe people who spend much of their time concerned about smaller issues while ignoring the larger ones. As a denominational minister I occasionally receive calls from such people. They are upset over something trivial and oblivious to the bigger picture.
A few years ago a group of people in one church confronted me about money that had been recently spent on a youth outing. The amount was a very small fraction of their total budget, but this group was out for blood. They had tried to get petitions signed, had met with church leaders, but they had received no support for their position. While I was at a meeting in their church they came to me with their grievances.
I listened to them until they asked my opinion. I responded that I received their church newsletter every week and in almost every edition there was mention of someone who had been saved in that church during the preceding week. These were often young people or members of their family. I then asked the group, "What do you think is the value of a soul? Do you think a soul is worth the amount of money you seem to be so upset about?" I went on to tell them that if this expense bothered them so much they might be happier in another church that wouldn't spend that amount on their youth during an entire year. At that, they walked away. This group was drowning in the shallows and couldn't see the greater good their church was doing.
I know churches that spend enormous sums of money painting everything there is to paint and remodeling everything that hasn't been remodeled in the last five years. At the same time these churches are not reaching anyone with the Gospel and wondering why they grow smaller every year. They are doing the only thing they know to do, but they are drowning in the shallows.
Other churches are so focused on keeping every jot and tittle of their pet doctrines while ignoring the community around them. Some of our churches have so many Bible studies going on every week it's no wonder that they are not involved in community ministry. All their time is spent in their holy huddle. As I heard John Maxwell say one time, the average church member is educated far beyond his level of obedience.
Am I against remodeling the church and making it a nice place in which to worship? Absolutely not. I love a beautiful church facility. Am I against Bible study and being faithful to the Scriptures? Of course not. But if all we're doing is giving everything a fresh coat of paint and trying to understand who the antichrist will be because it's all we know, we are drowning in the shallows. God has called us to do much more.
As one auctioneer friend of mine puts it, we chase nickles while letting dollars slip away. By that he is saying that he's not going to spend a lot of time trying to sell inexpensive items while he's got valuable items sitting on the side. That's a good way to lose an audience. It's another way of drowning in the shallows.
The Great Commission and the Great Commandment are the marching orders for the church. Faithfully doing these things are the deeper things of God. We must not ignore them or refuse to do them while we focus on lesser things or we will drown in the shallows.
A few years ago a group of people in one church confronted me about money that had been recently spent on a youth outing. The amount was a very small fraction of their total budget, but this group was out for blood. They had tried to get petitions signed, had met with church leaders, but they had received no support for their position. While I was at a meeting in their church they came to me with their grievances.
I listened to them until they asked my opinion. I responded that I received their church newsletter every week and in almost every edition there was mention of someone who had been saved in that church during the preceding week. These were often young people or members of their family. I then asked the group, "What do you think is the value of a soul? Do you think a soul is worth the amount of money you seem to be so upset about?" I went on to tell them that if this expense bothered them so much they might be happier in another church that wouldn't spend that amount on their youth during an entire year. At that, they walked away. This group was drowning in the shallows and couldn't see the greater good their church was doing.
I know churches that spend enormous sums of money painting everything there is to paint and remodeling everything that hasn't been remodeled in the last five years. At the same time these churches are not reaching anyone with the Gospel and wondering why they grow smaller every year. They are doing the only thing they know to do, but they are drowning in the shallows.
Other churches are so focused on keeping every jot and tittle of their pet doctrines while ignoring the community around them. Some of our churches have so many Bible studies going on every week it's no wonder that they are not involved in community ministry. All their time is spent in their holy huddle. As I heard John Maxwell say one time, the average church member is educated far beyond his level of obedience.
Am I against remodeling the church and making it a nice place in which to worship? Absolutely not. I love a beautiful church facility. Am I against Bible study and being faithful to the Scriptures? Of course not. But if all we're doing is giving everything a fresh coat of paint and trying to understand who the antichrist will be because it's all we know, we are drowning in the shallows. God has called us to do much more.
As one auctioneer friend of mine puts it, we chase nickles while letting dollars slip away. By that he is saying that he's not going to spend a lot of time trying to sell inexpensive items while he's got valuable items sitting on the side. That's a good way to lose an audience. It's another way of drowning in the shallows.
The Great Commission and the Great Commandment are the marching orders for the church. Faithfully doing these things are the deeper things of God. We must not ignore them or refuse to do them while we focus on lesser things or we will drown in the shallows.
Friday, May 15, 2015
WII-FM
According to Wikipedia there are approximately 1,600 Christian radio stations in the United States. Some of these stations are fairly large while others are smaller, local stations. Many Christians leave their radios tuned to the favorite station to listen to the speakers and musicians they enjoy the most. However, I have found that there is one station that many Christians prefer over all others: WII-FM (What's in it for me?).
This is the station that people listen to just before they tell the pastor they are leaving for another church because "They aren't being fed here." People who decide to leave their church because they were not selected for a certain position often listen to this station before leaving. As people are presented with ideas for new ministries or possible changes in the way things are being done they often replay their favorite selections from WII-FM. Then they are ready to oppose whatever is being presented.
Somewhere these people have never been taught that it really isn't all about them, or at least it's not supposed to be. It is supposed to be about advancing the Kingdom of God. It is supposed to be about finding ways to reach people for whom Jesus died. Church was never meant to be a luxury hotel for saints; it is supposed to be a hospital for sinners. A congregation is not to call a pastor to serve them but to lead them as they use the gifts God has given them to serve others.
Maintenance-minded churches spend a lot of time listening to WII-FM. Its programs are soothing to those who are waiting for someone else to feed them and meet their every need.
Missional churches really don't spend much time listening to that station. They don't have time. These churches are too busy in the community touching people's lives where they live. Besides, they really don't buy into the programming presented on WII-FM. Something doesn't sound right. In fact, it sounds almost heretical.
By the way, it's not only individuals in churches who enjoy WII-FM. Entire churches will sometimes listen and get caught up in its philosophy. These are the churches who begin to ask themselves what their denomination is doing for them. They wonder if it's not about time to leave their denomination and join another or become independent.
I heard of one such church earlier this week. The caller thought that church had voted to withdraw from its denomination because the denomination doesn't do anything for them. I asked the caller if the church had ever requested help from the denomination to which it belonged, and he did not believe it had.
As a judicatory leader for the past 14 years this is one of my greatest frustrations. I can't speak for every leader of every denomination, but every one I've met is willing to do anything that will benefit one of their churches. The problem is that many of these churches never ask, and none of us are mind readers.
I have no way of knowing a church is involved in a conflict and needs someone to help mediate it unless someone tells me. Unless a church lets me know it is struggling trying to understand God's vision for its future, I can't help them through a process of discerning that vision. We have several good stewardship programs that can help a church's giving, but unless we know a church is interested in such a program we can't help them.
Which churches do we help? The ones who ask for such help. Which ones do we help the least? The ones who never bother to ask, and these are the ones who wonder why they remain in their denomination.
WII-FM is dangerous to both individual believers and to congregations. Buying into its philosophy will hinder the individual's spiritual growth and the growth of the church. We are not here to be served but to serve, and that is not a message you'll hear on WII-FM. Instead of asking "What's in it for me?" we should be asking "How can I help?".
This is the station that people listen to just before they tell the pastor they are leaving for another church because "They aren't being fed here." People who decide to leave their church because they were not selected for a certain position often listen to this station before leaving. As people are presented with ideas for new ministries or possible changes in the way things are being done they often replay their favorite selections from WII-FM. Then they are ready to oppose whatever is being presented.
Somewhere these people have never been taught that it really isn't all about them, or at least it's not supposed to be. It is supposed to be about advancing the Kingdom of God. It is supposed to be about finding ways to reach people for whom Jesus died. Church was never meant to be a luxury hotel for saints; it is supposed to be a hospital for sinners. A congregation is not to call a pastor to serve them but to lead them as they use the gifts God has given them to serve others.
Maintenance-minded churches spend a lot of time listening to WII-FM. Its programs are soothing to those who are waiting for someone else to feed them and meet their every need.
Missional churches really don't spend much time listening to that station. They don't have time. These churches are too busy in the community touching people's lives where they live. Besides, they really don't buy into the programming presented on WII-FM. Something doesn't sound right. In fact, it sounds almost heretical.
By the way, it's not only individuals in churches who enjoy WII-FM. Entire churches will sometimes listen and get caught up in its philosophy. These are the churches who begin to ask themselves what their denomination is doing for them. They wonder if it's not about time to leave their denomination and join another or become independent.
I heard of one such church earlier this week. The caller thought that church had voted to withdraw from its denomination because the denomination doesn't do anything for them. I asked the caller if the church had ever requested help from the denomination to which it belonged, and he did not believe it had.
As a judicatory leader for the past 14 years this is one of my greatest frustrations. I can't speak for every leader of every denomination, but every one I've met is willing to do anything that will benefit one of their churches. The problem is that many of these churches never ask, and none of us are mind readers.
I have no way of knowing a church is involved in a conflict and needs someone to help mediate it unless someone tells me. Unless a church lets me know it is struggling trying to understand God's vision for its future, I can't help them through a process of discerning that vision. We have several good stewardship programs that can help a church's giving, but unless we know a church is interested in such a program we can't help them.
Which churches do we help? The ones who ask for such help. Which ones do we help the least? The ones who never bother to ask, and these are the ones who wonder why they remain in their denomination.
WII-FM is dangerous to both individual believers and to congregations. Buying into its philosophy will hinder the individual's spiritual growth and the growth of the church. We are not here to be served but to serve, and that is not a message you'll hear on WII-FM. Instead of asking "What's in it for me?" we should be asking "How can I help?".
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)