It's OK to Fail

 A story I often tell when I'm speaking at a pastor's gathering concerns a time when I was a deacon in a church I attended. A little girl made a profession of faith at our VBS one year, and before the pastor would agree to baptize her he wanted to speak to her mother. He asked if I would go with him which I agreed to do so. The mother and her daughter lived in a government-assisted apartment complex near our church. When the pastor explained the reason for our visit, the mother was pleased that her daughter had accepted Christ and wanted to be baptized, but she had one question. "Will she become a member of your church?" The pastor said not necessarily but asked why she had that question.

The mother explained she had been an active member of a church in our county when her husband filed for divorce. The next Sunday she felt she had walked into a freezer. No one spoke to her, and during the following weeks she realized they really didn't want her there. She commented she felt like she had a large, bright red D stamped on her forehead. She had been deeply hurt by her church, and she did not want her daughter to experience that same pain.

Jumping several years later, for my doctoral project I coached a number of bivocational ministers and wrote about the experience for my dissertation. One of the persons I selected to coach was a female pastor of a very small church out west. In one of our sessions I asked her what would she most like to do in ministry. She responded that she would like to pastor a church that would reach out to persons who had been hurt by the church. I laughed when she said that and explained that if she ever did that her church wouldn't be small for long because there are many in every community who have been hurt by the church.

Unfortunately, many in the church have forgotten that each of us are the recipients of God's grace. Because we forget that we often fail to extend that same grace to others when they experience a failure in their lives. One of the most important things a church can do is to offer someone a safe place to fail.

Jesus said He did not come for the healthy but for the sick and those broken by life. We find His kindest words to those who were caught up in sin and who had failed in life. His harshest words were to those who thought they had no sin, no failure in their lives. This is an example the church needs to follow.

I remember a Christmas special that ran on TV for years. I hope it still does. In the special there was a place known as "The Isle of Misfit Toys." It was a place where toys that weren't perfect went because no one wanted them. Of course, by the end of the special these toys found a home.

The church should be a place of misfit people. People who haven't got it all together. People who struggle with life. People who are broken and need healing. People who have failed and need to be loved. These are the people for whom Jesus Christ gave His life that they might find healing, hope, forgiveness and salvation.

I hope your church is such a place.

When God calls

I'm currently reading a very interesting book that compares Calvinism and Arminianism. The book is Arminian Theology: Myths and Realities by Roger Olson, a professor of theology at George W. Truett Seminary. He is one of today's leading Armenian theologians and wrote the book to help people better understand the differences between these two theological systems. It is slow reading but quite informative. Last night I read the following passage.

"From the Armenian perspective grace restores free will so that humans, for the first time, have the ability to do otherwise - namely, respond in faith to the grace of God or resist it in unrepentance and disbelief. At the point of God's call, sinners under the influence of prevenient grace have genuine free will as a gift of God; for the first time they can freely say yes or no to God."

This wasn't anything I didn't already know, but it took me back to the time I was saved. For years I had been enjoying life. I believed there was a God, but in many ways I lived as if He didn't exist. A couple of things happened that brought me to take a closer look at my life and my relationship to God.

I was working in a factory, often seven days a week. Our eight-year-old daughter attended Vacation Bible School that summer due to the generosity of a neighbor who took her. On Friday I came home from work, and at the dinner table she told me that day at VBS she had asked Jesus Christ into her life. The pastor told her that if she was serious she needed to come to church Sunday and make a public profession of her faith. I was scheduled to work that Sunday, but when my wife asked what I was going to do I said I guessed I would go to church. When the invitation was given, she never hesitated but walked to the front of the church.

At the same time, I found myself in trouble for some decisions I had made. I was facing possible legal problems if I didn't make amends, and time was running out. I admit I was scared. Some people I worked with were committed Christians, and I asked them if they had any material on faith. I kept thinking if I had enough faith I could get this problem resolved. I read everything they brought me!

One day I found myself alone in our mobile home. The pressure was getting to me. I know now that pressure was God calling me to Him. I got on my knees in front of my chair and prayed asking God to come into my life. Of course, He did.

That wasn't the first time God had ever reached out to me, but that was the first time I was ready to receive His grace. I've wished a thousand times I had done so earlier in life, but it took those two events to help prepare me to accept God's amazing grace. That happened back in the late 1970s, but reading a passage in a book in 2020 made it all seem like it was just yesterday.

I've often preached that we need to be ready to reach out to people when the windows of opportunity are open. My window that summer was wide open. Those windows are open the widest when someone is going through a difficult time as I was. Two events: my daughter's salvation and my own pain prepared me to hear God's call on my life.

I encourage you to look for hurting people and tell them about the grace of God. Maybe you will help them experience the same thing I did in my living room.

The perfect church for imperfect people

We've all heard the complaint: "I don't go to church because of all the hypocrites there." Well...the complaint is true. The church is full of hypocrites...and much worse. Everybody sitting in a congregation, and standing behind the pulpit, is broken in some ways. Some are more broken than others, but we all have a past. We also have a present that has some things in it that needs a little work. However, we also have a Savior who is very good at healing broken things.

We need to understand that the church has always supposed to have been a hospital for the sick and broken. It's not supposed to be a club for perfect people but a place where the ones who need healing can come and find that healing. Sometimes we forget that. Some churches send a very clear message that no imperfect people are allowed. As an Area Minister I was called in to more than one church that had problems because that was how they treated people. A lot of times that message was subtle, but other times it was pretty clear that some people weren't welcomed.

What kind of church should imperfect people look for? First, it must be a church that understands grace. Sometimes people have been Christians for so long that they forget what they were like before they got saved. They forget how it was the grace of God that looked past their sins and saw what they could be as children of God. When a person understands how much grace was extended to him or her, it becomes easier to extend that grace to others. If it doesn't, then something is seriously wrong.

A church for imperfect people is also a church that recognizes the authority of the Word of God. Some churches emphasize grace and acceptance to the point that they ignore the clear teachings of Scripture. If we really love someone we will tell them if they are taking a path through life that will ultimately lead to problems. I try to explain to people that God loves us just as we are, but He loves us too much to leave us in that condition. That is the kind of love we should have for others as well.

Imperfect people need a church that understands patience. Just because a person invites Christ into his or her heart doesn't mean everything changes by the next morning. The church needs to understand that people need time to grow in discipleship. They may very well take two steps forward and one step back, and this may occur for some time. If we forget that, we need to reminded of our own spiritual journeys. None of us have it all figured out yet, so why should we expect others to do so.

The perfect church for imperfect people is one that invites others to join them in their spiritual journey. Each of us are imperfect people on a journey to spiritual wholeness, and we need to invite other imperfect people to join us as we make the trip.

I wouldn't want to pastor a church that consisted of only perfect people. I wouldn't want to join a church that only had perfect people in it. If I did, it wouldn't be perfect any more. I want to be part of a real church made up of real people who are open to God creating them into what He wants them to be.

If you've been avoiding church because of all the hypocrites, we have room for one more. Come join us and make this journey to wholeness with us.

Top 10 books of 2017 II

Today I will complete my list of my top 10 favorite books of 2017. If you missed yesterday's post that included the first five books I encourage you to check it out. Here are the remaining five. Again, they are in no particular order.

Messy Grace by Caleb Kaltenbach. This is a fascinating story of a conservative pastor with gay parents. Raised in the gay lifestyle he came out to his parents as a Christian and later became a pastor. No issue is more divisive in today's church world as the issue of homosexuality. If your church has not discussed how it will relate to those involved in that lifestyle, you need to do so, and this book can help that conversation.

Taking Pascal's Wager by Michael Rota. This is an incredible book on apologetics that demonstrates how reasonable it is to accept the truth of the Christian faith. This book is not a simple read, but it is one that I thoroughly enjoyed. If you are a minister with preaching responsibilities, it will give you a lot of great material to share with your congregation.

A New Kind of Apologist by Sean McDowell, ed. One of the reasons this book made my top 10 list is that it addresses topics often ignored by traditional apologists, the kinds of issues faced by pastors and churches today. Over twenty leading apologists contributed to this book.

Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked by Adam Alter. The title alone should make you curious. It did me! The author demonstrates how many of today's products are made to be irresistible to consumers and how addictive they have become to millions of people. The good news is that he doesn't stop there but also shows how we can reverse that to improve our own health and that of our families.

Relativism: Feet Firmly Planted in Mid-Air by Francis J. Backwith and Gregory Koukl. Many today insist that there are no absolute moral values. One behavior is considered no better or no worse than another. The authors attack that idea in the introduction by pointing out that under such a belief system Mother Teresa is no more moral than Adolf Hitler. They continue attacking the idea of moral relativism throughout the book. I found it to be an excellent read.

Tomorrow I'll share some of the books I'm currently reading and some titles on my shelf waiting their turn. Will any of them make the top ten list for 2018? You'll just have to check back next January to find out!

And God says yes

Recently my father underwent open heart surgery and had other health issues that resulted in a one-month hospital stay.  Following the hospital stay, in-patient cardiac rehab added 3 weeks to his recovery.

During each phase of his illnesses and recovery the next step in becoming well and self-sufficient was often unpredictable and unclear based on his health.  Initially there was the rush to the hospital to save his life; the question if heart surgery was an option; subsequent pneumonia following the surgery; and a consult with his pulmonologist where my sisters and I were told, “the next 24 hours will tell” in the midst of all medical measures to bring him back to wellness.

During all of this, there were four churches and a men’s small group praying for my father by name.  James 5:15 (NIV) states, “The prayers of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”  To this point in my dads’ recovery the answer has been “yes” to those prayers.  “Yes” to breath in his lungs, a beating heart, strength being recovered and “yes” to a sound mind.  “Yes” is such a powerful answer that is directly the result of prayer by God’s people!  Revelation 8:3-4 (NIV) tells us “Another angel, who had a golden censer, came and stood at the altar.  He was given much incense to offer, with the prayers of all God’s people on the golden altar in front of the throne.  The smoke of the incense, together with the prayers of God’s people, went up before God from the angel’s hand.”  Our prayers are before God, are heard, and are in God’s almighty hands!  The unpredictable and unclear is best surrendered to our God who hears our concerns, petitions, and cries!  He is listening and in His perfect will, we may just hear “yes”.   

Nita Scarff

Madison FBC

Wounded by the church

A few years ago I coached a pastor in North Dakota. In one of our coaching sessions I asked her, "If you could do anything in ministry that you wanted to do, what would that be?" She responded that she would like to create a ministry that ministered to people who had been hurt by the church. I chuckled a bit and responded that if she developed such a ministry her church would not remain small very long because there are many such people in every community.

Unfortunately, I hear their stories too often. In my book, The Healthy Community: Moving Your Church Beyond Tunnel Vision I share the story of a woman I once met. Her daughter had accepted Jesus Christ into her heart at Vacation Bible School. The pastor and I visited her single mother to see how she felt about her daughter's decision. Although she was pleased that her daughter had made her decision, she was concerned about the baptism. She didn't want her daughter to become a member of the church.

When we asked why, she shared that she had been an active member of a church in our community until her husband divorced her. The Sunday after it was known she was getting a divorce she said it felt like she had walked into a freezer when she entered the church. Former friends ignored her. Few would even speak. After this went on for several weeks, she left the church and never returned. She did not want her daughter to be hurt by the church as she had been.

For some reason too many churches forget that Jesus showed the most grace to those the religious leaders of the time condemned. When religious leaders wanted to stone a woman caught in the act of adultery Jesus extended grace to her. Zacchaeus, a despised tax collector, was the recipient of Christ's grace when Jesus spent the day with him. Lepers, who were shunned by religious leaders as unclean, received a healing touch from Jesus. In fact, the only ones Jesus did condemn were the religious leaders who refused to offer grace towards those they deemed unworthy.

It is time the church repents of its tendency to shoot its wounded. We are not called to judge people; we are called to love them. This does not mean we have to compromise our beliefs or ignore the clear teachings of Scripture. It does mean that we treat others as individuals created in the image of God and as persons for whom Jesus Christ gave His life on the cross. It also means that we love people with the same unconditional love that God has for each of us.

The church is not a hotel for saints; it is a hospital for sinners, and we are all sinners. We need to offer grace to one another because we all need to receive grace for our own shortcomings. The Christian life can be difficult enough without being wounded by "friendly fire." When one of our fellow believers falls or is going through a tough time, let's extend grace and a helping hand to lift them back up to a healthier place in their lives.

Let your speech be with grace

The Apostle Paul reminds us in Colossians 4:6 "Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one."

I have to admit that there have been times I've struggled with this one. In fact, many times. Once, as I was reviewing my sermons for the previous few months, I noticed that many of them were quite negative in tone. The more I read through my sermon notes the more convicted I became. The next Sunday I began my message by apologizing to the congregation for the negativity that had been in my sermons for the previous months.

Many people come to church having been beaten up by life all week. They don't need to come to church only to have the pastor hammer them as well. As I shared that morning, I can say anything I need to say in a positive manner as well as in a negative one. I was committed from that time forward to eliminate the negativity from my sermons. I would not compromise the Gospel in any way, but I would also not beat up my listeners anymore either.

Writing this blog presents many opportunities to rant about some issue that is especially troublesome. Although I have written the occasional rant, I've tried to do so as graciously as possible. Believe me, there was much more I wanted to say in some of those rants! I tried my best to edit out the negativity and voice my concerns in a more positive and gracious way.

Yesterday, a friend of mine posted something on Facebook. I agreed with him, but another of his friends attacked his post. I responded in a very sarcastic manner, published my response, and was immediately convicted. I instantly deleted my post.

We seem to live in a world of crudeness. We have lost the ability to be civil with one another. People on social media say the most disgusting and cruel things to each other. If you read a news item online the comments that follow are often crude and ugly. Rather than commenting on the article these comments are more often than not personal attacks on the persons mentioned in the article. Unfortunately, Christians are included among those who resort to personal attacks and rude comments towards those who disagree with them.

Political events result in arrests as mobs run wild. Road rage incidents continue to escalate. Just yesterday the news reported that a car purposefully ran over a motorcycle injuring both riders after words were exchanged at a stop light.

We cannot control the actions of others nor can we control what they say and write. But, we can control our own speech. Maybe if each of us takes personal responsibility for our speech we can begin to restore some civility to this nation once again. Let's make sure our speech is always full of grace.

Render unto Caesar

The Bible teaches us that Christians have an obligation to be good citizens. We are to render unto Caesar what is his and to God what is His. The past few days I've been rendering unto Caesar. Yesterday I voted in the Indiana primary, and the day before I paid my property taxes. On April 15 I mailed in my income tax payment. Last week I paid the sales taxes from the preceding month's auction's sales.

In addition we are taught in Scripture to pray for those in authority over us. I admit that following this one can be difficult at times, but I remind myself that I am to pray for the office and the person who occupies that office. I may not personally like or admire the person, but I am to respect the office he or she holds, and it is out of that respect that we are to pray.

When I turned 18 this nation still had a draft system in place due to the war in Vietnam. Knowing that I was getting close to being drafted I decided to enroll in the Navy instead. This nation enjoys the freedoms it enjoys today because brave men and women have been willing to serve in the military to protect those rights. I was not going to burn my draft card or run away to Canada to avoid serving my nation as some did, and I look on those four years in the Navy with a great deal of pride. I appreciate the opportunity to have served our nation in that way.

However, we must never forget that as Christians we hold a dual citizenship. We are both citizens here, and we are citizens of the Kingdom of God. We are called upon to also render unto God what belongs to Him. That includes our ultimate loyalty and faithfulness. Any time the state asks us to do something or accept something that is contrary to the clear Word of God we must obey God.

Sometimes people will say they would suffer the consequences if needed to obey God rather than the state. I have to admit that I wonder about that because there are many things in the Bible that we are commanded to do as citizens of God's Kingdom that most Christians do not do.

• We are commanded to share our faith, but few Christians have ever led anyone to faith in Christ.
• We are taught to tithe, but the average Christian gives less than 2.5% of their income to the church.
• We are commanded to gather together for corporate worship, but for many Christians today attending church on Sunday is something they do if there's nothing else going on.
• We are told that we are to grow in our faith, but many Christians have never grown beyond their initial salvation experience.
• We have been given spiritual gifts by the Holy Spirit for the purpose of ministry, but few Christians can tell you what their gifts are or how they are using them for ministry.
• We are told to pray without ceasing, but many Christians admit to seldom praying unless they are facing a crisis.
• We are taught to honor and care for our spiritual leaders, but many pastors and other ministry leaders often struggle financially. Clergy abuse accounts for a large number of clergy persons leaving the ministry every year.
• We are commanded to work for justice for those who are oppressed, but how many Christians or churches can you name who are doing that?

The list could go on and on, but I think this is sufficient. Most of us are faithful in rendering unto Caesar what is his, but that is often due to the fact that if we don't we break the law and face penalties. We are often less likely to render unto God what belongs to Him because we don't see an immediate penalty if we don't. We forget that there is a day of judgment coming for each of us.

But, we should not be motivated by the fear of God's judgment to do the things He has directed. Our motivation should come because of our love for Him and our appreciation for all that He has done for us. We should seek to be good citizens of the Kingdom of God because we are the recipients of Gods grace, not because we fear His judgment. We should desire to obey Him because blessings come through obedience, and those blessings are not only ours to receive but will also be experienced by those whose lives we touch on His behalf.

Leaders and forgiveness

No one serves in church leadership for very long before being hurt by something someone does or says.  We work hard with the best of intentions, and someone misunderstands what we are trying to do or the motives behind our actions.  We say something that is misunderstood, and rather than coming to the leader to clarify what was said people tell everyone how wounded they were by our comments.  Things are going well in the church until suddenly we learn that a group of people are committed to getting us out of the church.  A leader's pain is made even worse when it is our spouses or children who are under attack by people within the church we are serving.

Leaders have a number of options available to them, but one option that is not available is to refuse to forgive those who bring us harm.  Such forgiveness does not come easy, but it is vital to our well-being and our ministry that we are able to forgive those who hurt us.

I remember an incident that happened when I was the pastor of our church that upset me far more than it should have.  The actions I took were private and no one except my wife knew how upset I was or the problem may have become much worse. For several weeks I remained upset at the few people who had upset me until I finally realized that I had to forgive them if I wanted to move forward with my life and ministry.  I chose to forgive the ones who had wounded me, and we will choose whether we will forgive or not.

In some recent posts I've quoted from Reggie McNeal's book A Work of Heart: Understanding How God Shapes Spiritual Leaders.  One chapter of the book discusses conflict, and McNeal writes, "Those who withhold forgiveness do so in the belief that in some way they are inflicting damage or hurt on the object of their unforgivingness.  The trouble is, while the unforgiving deals with excess stomach acid and sleepless nights, the unforgiven sleeps like a baby.  An unforgiving spirit is a cancer of the soul...

"The leaders who do not forgive wind up with bitter spirits, persons of negative energy.  They wonder where their spiritual energy and power went.  Their negative spirit pushes people away from them.  They live in the past, their conflict scar tissues making it difficult for them to move forward.  They see the world and life experiences through victim eyes."

He nails it doesn't he?  Unforgiveness eats us up and robs us of the spiritual power we need to enjoy victory in our lives and ministries.  Quite often, the people who hurt us could care less how we feel about what they did or they may not even be aware of the pain they caused.  We are the only ones damaged by our refusal to forgive.

Of course, that's not entirely right either.  When we choose to practice unforgiveness our families pay a price.  So do people in our churches and our work.  These are innocent people who had nothing to do with the pain we feel, but they are the ones who pay the price.

When I find it hard to forgive others I begin to remember how much God has forgiven me.  How can I refuse to forgive others when I have been the recipient of so much grace in my own life?

Leaders are going to be wounded.  It goes with the territory.  There's not much we can do about that, but we can choose how we will deal with the wounds inflicted upon us by others.  Refusing to forgive can only lead to problems that none of us wants.  Choosing to forgive releases us to move forward in life and ministry.  Once again I hear God saying, "I have set before you life and death...therefore choose life."  Choosing to forgive is choosing life.

A shift in the inerrancy debate

When I attended Bible college in the 1980s there was much debate about the inerrancy of Scripture.  It was the hot topic on the campus I attended and played no small role in the denomination of which that school was a part making a shift from being rather moderate to becoming very conservative.  Numerous books were written at that time stressing the importance of holding to an inerrant view of Scripture.  I certainly held to that position then and continue to do so today, but today the discussion about inerrancy has shifted, and many ministers and leaders of my generation may not understand the shift.

David Fitch and Geoff Holsclaw discusses this shift in one chapter in their book Prodigal Christianity: 10 Signposts into the Missional Frontier.  They point out that the debate about inerrancy is not about the Scriptures themselves but the interpretation of those Scriptures.  Holsclaw writes, "I knew that no one my age cared about inerrancy because they were always questioning the authority of the interpretation rather than the authority of the text.  My friends all assumed that a hidden bias was always controlling the supposed objectivity of an interpretation...In their minds, every interpretation is an imperialist act, seeking to control other perspectives."

In some of my workshops I address one of the main reasons people give for not going to church: they find it irrelevant to their lives.  They believe we are answering questions no one is asking any more, and too often they are right.  In the case of biblical inerrancy, we are often giving answers to questions that people are not asking today.  If the authors of this book are correct, people are not nearly as interested in whether or not the Scriptures are inerrant as whether our interpretations are correct.

By saying this I do not mean to say that teaching the inerrancy of the Scriptures is wrong.  I believe the Scriptures remain the foundation of all we believe, and if we cannot trust that they are correct then our theological foundation becomes very weak.  But, we cannot limit our teaching to that question.  We must go beyond that and address the question that people are now asking: is our interpretation of those Scriptures correct?  In a postmodern world where there are no absolute truths that becomes a much more difficult challenge.  I can claim my interpretation of a particular passage is true while someone else promotes a completely different interpretation of the same passage, and too many today are willing to accept both as equally true.  So, how do we convince others of the validity of our interpretation?

The authors of this book point out that the way to do this is through allowing others to see the truths we proclaim to be lived out in our lives.  They write, "As prodigal Christians, we should rarely find ourselves defending the Bible's authority.  Rather, its authority becomes undeniable when its compelling reality become visible among us.  The story of God as displayed in a people speaks for itself."  The book then fleshes this out for the reader in the next chapters.

In my opinion, this is what separates a missional church from one that is merely involved in social work.  Too often, we limit being missional to being involved in one's community, but there is much more to being a missional church.  Yes, a missional church will be engaged in ministry to its community, but most social organizations will also be involved in community service.  What makes the church's ministry different is the way it lives out the Gospel before the community it is serving.

Christians often do a better job of talking about their beliefs than we do in living out those beliefs.  When we fail to walk the talk we should not be surprised that those outside the church question our interpretation of the Scriptures we claim to believe in.  If we talk about the grace of God, then they have a right to expect that we will extend grace to people.  If they see us continue to shoot our own wounded then they also have a right to question our interpretation of what grace is.  If we talk to them about the love of God we should not be surprised if they are confused by the lack of love we often show others both outside and within the Christian family.  Obviously, I could go on and on, but I think you get the point.

To convince others that our interpretation of the Scriptures is correct we must consistently live out what we claim to believe and allow them to see the impact of living such a life.  If we do this well we will have answered one of their most important questions.

When do you show grace?

I read this past weekend about a ministry called "People of the Second Chance."  This ministry informs the work of a church one of the founders leads.   Mark Batterson mentions this church in his book All In: You Are One Decision Away From a Totally Different Life.  He has preached in this church a few times and writes that he has never seen so many people in a church that one would normally not expect to see there.  He says it looks more like what a person might see at a Vegas show or at a tattoo parlor.  Everywhere in the church is posted "It's OK to not be OK."  This is not a church that ignores sin, but it also believes that people don't have to pretend that everything is OK when it's not OK.  They want to offer grace to people before they change, not just afterwards, and isn't that the kind of grace we are called to extend to others?

One of the things I have found fascinating is that I seem to develop relationships with people who are not always living the kind of life I try to live.  When I worked on an assembly line I became friends with a biker who had the same job I had.  We were very much opposites, but we enjoyed one another's company and talked about everything.  After a time he transferred to another job on another shift, and I didn't see him for several months.  One day I ran into him and he began to talk to me about this church he was attending.  Of course, I asked for more details and learned that he had become a Christian.  A few years later I invited him to speak at a Biker Service we had at the church I pastored.  It was then I heard him say that one of the reasons he gave his life to Christ was because of the friendship he had developed with me.  The fact that I never judged him encouraged him to consider what I told him about becoming a Christian.

The same thing happened to me several years earlier on that same assembly line.  I was not a Christian but had observed several who were.  Their lives were radically different from mine.  There came a time when my life began to close in around me, and I knew I needed to do something different.  I approached these individuals and requested reading material and began to ask questions about being a Christian.  They never judged my lifestyle but extended grace to me.  After some months I did become a Christian but still had a lot of things to clean up.  Again, there was no judgment on their part.  Only grace, and that grace helped me make the changes I needed to make.

When do you offer grace to people?  Is it before they turn their lives around or afterwards?  Perhaps one of the reasons the church finds it so hard to connect with unchurched people is that they feel that we are judging them.  Yes, there are lifestyle choices we may not agree with, but didn't Jesus demonstrate that the way to help people overcome those choices is to love them unconditionally?  Is there anyone reading this who was perfect before they became a Christian?  I doubt it, and in fact we're not perfect now.  We all need grace, and if we are going to be the recipient of grace then should we not also extend grace to others? 

Where is the grace?

Many years ago, before I began preaching, I served as a deacon in our church.  One year during Vacation Bible School a young girl came forward during the invitation.  Because she did not attend our church the pastor wanted to visit her family before baptizing her and asked me to go with him.  The girl lived with her mother in a nearby apartment complex.  When we visited with the mother the pastor explained why we were there and asked if she had any problems with her daughter being baptized.  The mother hesitantly asked if that would mean her daughter would be a member of our church.  Our pastor explained that normally one became a member of the church when they were baptized but that did not have to be the case if the mother had any objections.  She then told us her story.

A few years earlier she had been an active member of another church in our community.  Against her wishes her husband filed for divorce and left her.  The next Sunday she felt like a stranger in her church.  People would not talk with her and most acted as if she wasn't even in the service.  At a time when she needed her church it turned its back on her.  After a few weeks of such treatment she stopped attending and never returned to a church.  Although she was happy her daughter wanted to become a Christian she did not want her daughter to be hurt by a church as she had been.

 It's a story that could be repeated endless times.  A few years ago I coached a pastor in another state and one of the questions I asked her was if she could do anything she wanted to in ministry what would it be.  She immediately responded that she always wanted to start a ministry to people who had been hurt by the church.  I laughed a little and told her if she was successful with such a ministry her church would not be small for long because in every community there are many people who have been hurt by their churches.

The working title for my book The Healthy Community: Moving Your Church Beyond Tunnel Vision was Heart Disease in the Body of Christ.  One of the diseases I address in the book is the lack of grace that exists in so many churches.  We are known as people who shoot their wounded for good reason.  Too many people in church seem to think that the church is a hotel for saints when in reality it is to be a hospital for sinners.  It is a place where imperfect people should be able to come to when they need to find forgiveness, cleansing, hope, and salvation.  Instead, it is often a place where they encounter condemnation and shame.  When unchurched people see how we treat our brothers and sisters when they encounter failures in their lives it is no wonder they do not believe that they will be treated any better.

Even worse is the way we respond to people whose views are different than ours.  I'm not talking about compromising the integrity of the Word of God or denying its fundamental teachings; I'm talking about such things as the length of a man's hair or whether or not a woman wears jewelry and which version of the Bible is the right one.  I'm talking about being critical of the type of car a fellow believer drives, the size of his or her house, or the clothes he or she wears.  I once had a church member tell me she hoped she never saw me own a Cadillac as she didn't believe a minister should drive such a car.  I assured her she didn't have to worry; if I could afford a Cadillac I would probably buy a Mercedes.  She was not amused!

The apostle Paul warned, "But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!"  That is what is happening today in many of our churches.  Our lack of grace towards one another is tearing our churches apart and running unbelievers away from God because of what they see in us.   It is driving good people out of the ministry and doing great harm to their families.

Some will argue that if we extend too much grace people might take advantage of it.  No doubt some will.  In fact, I've seen people claim that because they are under grace they are free to do some things that are contrary to biblical teaching.  At such times it becomes important to explain the difference between cheap grace and true grace.  Cheap grace justifies the sin rather than the sinner while true grace justifies the sinner, not the sin.  Some of the greatest heroes in the Bible failed greatly.  Moses, Paul, and David are just a few whose names immediately pop into one's mind.  God never justified their sins, but He did justify them and used them mightily for His purposes.

We must never forget that we have been the recipients of God's grace.  I cannot imagine where I might be today without such grace.  Having received grace can we refuse to extend grace to others?  I think not.  I believe it is time for churches to once again become places where hurting people can experience God's grace through His people. For more on this subject be sure to read my book.

What you have in your heart becomes your experience

The title of this post comes from Paul Yonggi Cho, pastor of the world's largest church: what you have in your heart becomes your experience.  As I came across those words in my reading this past weekend I had to stop and consider how true this is in every area of our lives.  The righteous person focuses this or her thoughts upon God.  The heart of the unrighteous focuses upon the evil.  What is in our hearts comes out through our words.    Jesus said in Matthew 12: 34, "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks."  It comes out through our actions.  If greed or lust or pride or anger or hatred or prejudice fills out hearts those things will direct our actions.  If one focuses upon his or her failures in life it can quickly become a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Such a person may soon find it difficult to succeed in anything.  However, if we have a healthy image of our abilities and our personal worth before God we often find that positive things continue to happen in our lives.  It is critically important that we filter what we allow to enter our minds and hearts.

No doubt this is true of ministry as well.  The parishioner who is filled with negativity towards life will seldom be excited about any new ministry opportunity that may be presented to the church.  He or she will have a long list of reasons why nothing will ever work, and as long as the church listens to and believes that list the church will continue to be held back from moving forward.  Those in our churches who get excited about following a fresh vision from God will embrace that vision and often see amazing things happen through the ministry of their church.

As pastors and church leaders we must be careful about what enters the heart and what we allow to remain there.  At this point I'm not even talking about the evil thoughts that want our attention.  Instead, I'm referring to our focus on ministry.  What concrete goals have you set for your life and ministry?  Where do you want to be in five years as a minister?  As a spouse?  As a parent?  As an employee or employer?  Where do you want your church in five years?  What goals have you set that will enable you to achieve that five-year vision?  How much do these goals consume your thoughts and direct your steps?  You will be five years from now what you decide today you are going to be.

As I paused in my reading I had another thought as well.  As ministers who speak to our people each week we have the opportunity to impact what goes into their hearts as well.  I know pastors whose messages are filled with so much negativity one has to wonder if they've ever heard of the gospel as being good news.  Some good friends of mine told me they had to leave the church they had attended for over two decades because their new pastor beat them up every week.  I visited that church a few weeks later and had to fight the urge to walk out.  I honestly think that pastor believes that he is called to beat the flock into submission.  I believe that as ministers we must challenge our people with the truth and preach the whole counsel of God, but I learned that I can approach any topic in the Bible from a positive perspective or a negative one.  I've also learned that most people respond better to the positive approach.  If that positive message enters their hearts that will be the message that will become a reality in their lives.

Friends, guard your hearts and focus on those things that will bring life and joy to your life and ministry, and help those who depend upon you for spiritual nourishment to fill their hearts with the life-giving water that comes only through Jesus Christ.  As we focus upon who we are in Christ and His call upon our lives we will see Him do wonderful things in and through us.

The consequences of our choices

By now most people have heard the tragic story of Josh Brent, lineman for the Dallas Cowboys, who has been arrested for manslaughter after after an intoxicated Brent crashed his car killing his best friend, Jerry Brown.  The two had played college football together and were now both playing for the Cowboys.  Brent has said that Brown was the best friend he ever had.  He now will live the rest of his life knowing that his actions led to the death of his friend.  Besides that, he is facing likely jail time and possibly the loss of his football career.  Even though he survived the accident, his life will never again be the same all because of his choice to drink and drive.

As free people we have the ability to make a wide range of choices, but the one choice we cannot make is to avoid the consequences of the ones we do make.  We need to remember that every choice we make carries with it certain consequences.  Sometimes, we get lucky and avoid the worst consequences that could happen, but sometimes we don't.  According to reports Brent had been arrested before for DUI.  On that occasion he avoided the worst of the possible consequences.  This time he didn't, and the lives of two families will never again be the same.

Our churches are continually challenged with various choices to make.  We can choose to focus our primary attention outwardly to those folks who do not know Christ or we can focus inwardly on our own needs.  We can choose to be a loving, forgiving church that extends grace to hurting people who have made mistakes or we can choose to be legalistic Pharisees.  Our churches can choose to work cooperatively with other churches or we can choose to be separated from other churches to avoid the chance of contamination.  We could fill a book with all the choices available to churches, and we can argue which choices are best for churches to make, but there is one thing certain: the choices we make will result in consequences for our churches for years to come.

Your church is what it is today because of choices it made five years ago, ten years ago, and twenty years ago.  Often, when I share this statement in a workshop someone will want to argue and insist that they are in a church that wants to grow but can't.  I'm sorry, but at some point in the life of that church a decision was made that resulted in the lack of growth they are experiencing today.  I'm sure nobody made a motion that their church should stop growing, but some decision that church made has limited its ability to grow, and until that decision is reversed that church will not grow.

The same thing is true for the future of your church.  Your church will be what it is five years from now, ten years from now, and twenty years from now because of the decisions you make today.  Your choices today will determine what your church will be in the future.

Let me ask an important question.  Where do you believe God wants your church to be 5-10 years from now?  This is another way of asking what do you believe God's vision is for your church.  As your congregation begins to visualize what your church should look like 5-10 years out you then need to begin asking the question, "What do we have to do now to help us achieve that?"  The choices you make today will largely determine whether or not you see that vision fulfilled.

What is a pastor-leader?

In the last couple of posts I've looked at the need for pastors to provide leadership to their churches.  We can list any number of things that are wrong with our churches today, but at the top of that list has to be the lack of leadership many churches are receiving from their pastors.  In fact, many of the other problems could be directly traced to that lack of leadership.  But, what we have not done is define what it means for a pastor to be a leader.  That is what I hope to do in this post.

Pastor-leaders are not dictators nor are they CEOs.  They do not lead with a "My way or the highway" attitude.  They do not threaten, manipulate, or force anyone in order to get their way.  Unfortunately, when one talks about a pastor being a strong leader this negative image is the one some people immediately think about.  It sounds too much like a cult leader, a Jim Jones type person, who everyone must follow regardless of the cost.  This is not at all what I mean when I talk about a pastor-leader.

A pastor-leader is one who is in the trenches with the people.  He or she has a vision for where God wants to lead this congregation and is willing to lead them there.  A pastor-leader knows he or she is accountable to God for the congregation he or she has been given.  The goal of a pastor-leader is to take everyone on the journey, but he or she also knows that some may refuse to go, and they cannot be allowed to prevent the others from experiencing what God has in store for them.  (Does any of this sound like Moses leading the Israelites to the Promised Land?)  This means a pastor-leader has a spine and is willing to confront those who will oppose or hinder the ministry God has given the church.   Such confrontation is not done in a mean-spirited way or without much prayer, but there will be times when a pastor-leader must take a stand and challenge the controllers and others who would sabotage the work God is doing in the church.

Pastor-leaders do not seek their vision but God's.  They are not interested in climbing the ministerial ladder of success; they are interested in fulfilling God's purpose for their lives whatever that might be.  For some, that may be serving as a bivocational pastor of a small, rural church that may struggle but offers the only hope in the community in which it serves.  Others may be called to a mega-church with thousands of persons attending services each week.  Regardless of where one is called, the pastor-leader rejoices that God has entrusted him or her with the responsibility to lead the congregation that has issued the call.  If this is not be a great place in which to serve, the pastor-leader is committed to staying there until it becomes a great place.

A pastor-leader is committed to personal growth.  Pastor-leaders are often found attending a workshop, reading a book, or enrolling in a course that will help him or her grow personally and spiritually.  Every pastor-leader I've ever known has been committed to lifelong learning.  A true leader knows he or she has much to learn, and the minute they stop learning they stop growing.

Pastor-leaders lead from the front, not from the safety of their office.  They lead by example.  They are not afraid to get their hands dirty.  If they want their congregation to win souls for Christ, they are soul winners.  If they want the members of their churches to be more involved in feeding the hungry and ministering to the physical needs of the community, they will be involved in doing that alongside their congregations.

Pastor-leaders understand the importance of equipping the saints for the work of ministry.  No military leader would think of leading troops into battle without first making sure they were trained and equipped.  However, many pastors spend more time complaining about the lack of commitment on the part of their church members than they do in equipping them so they can do ministry.  Not the pastor-leader.  He or she takes seriously the Eph. 4 mandate to equip the saints for the work of ministry.  Discipleship and lay ministry development is serious business in a church that has a pastor-leader because such a leader knows how critical these are for the personal well-being of the individuals and for the ministry effectiveness of the church.

Pastor-leaders are servant leaders.  They understand that the call to lead is a call to serve.  Again, this doesn't mean they become door mats for every disgruntled controller that calls them on the phone.  It does mean the pastor-leader develops relationships with the people.  He or she loves them unconditionally as Christ does, and the pastor-leader is not afraid to tell them of his love.  He or she admits when they are wrong and quickly extends grace to others when they fail.

No one has to wonder who is in charge of a church that has a pastor-leader.  He or she has earned the right to lead by their faithfulness in small things, their love for the people, and their love for God.  People are not afraid of a pastor-leader because they know that person always has their best interest at heart.  I once heard a pastor-leader tell of a time when some of the lay leadership questioned a decision he made.  He told them if they couldn't trust his judgment on the matter would they at least trust his heart, and at that the opposition ceased because the people knew his heart.  Even if his actions would prove wrong (they didn't), they knew that whatever he did was out of love for the church and its mission in the world.  He had earned that trust through many years of faithful service to that church.

Let me end this post where I began: our churches need strong pastoral leadership if they are ever to become what God envisioned the church would be.  Congregations that will not follow such leadership are destined to wander in the wilderness wasting God's resources and squandering the ministry opportunities that could have been theirs.  Pastors who are not willing to lead are forfeiting their calling and should immediately step down from pastoral ministry.  But, pastors must understand that it will take time to earn the right to provide strong pastoral leadership, and they must be very intentional about earning that right.  If you prove yourself trustworthy, and the church is healthy, the day will come when you will be ready to provide the kind of leadership your church needs.  When that day comes, lead.

Does your church exhibit grace?

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A young man recently visited a church for the first time.  He sat near the front and took copious notes of the message.  He brought with him a can of soda.  After the service a woman in the church went to him and told him he was never to bring a drink into their sanctuary again.

At the end of a message a guest speaker was told that the church consititution required that the minister preach from the King James Version.  I was the guest speaker and had used the NKJV.  I never returned to speak at that church again.  Another minister was asked to lead a revival in yet another church.  He did use the KJV, but his Bible had a burgundy cover.  At the end of the first service he was told by the deacons that their church only permitted black covered Bibles and he did not need to return for the remaining services.

A pastor was laying in a hospital room recovering from an illness that he had fought for several days.  A representative from the church visited to tell him that he was being asked to resign immediately.  It had been learned a few weeks earlier that his unmarried daughter was pregnant, and since he did not have control of his household he could not lead their congregation.

Another pastor became angry during a business meeting because one of his proposals was rejected by the membership.  He stormed out of the church as soon as the vote on the matter was taken leaving a stunned congregation.  The next Sunday he called in "sick."  A member told me that was not the first time this had happened when he didn't get his way.

I could go on and on with similar stories.  The bottom line is that while our churches like to sing about grace, teach about grace, and experience grace for our failures, we often do a very poor job of giving grace to others, both inside and outside the church.  The world looks at our lack of grace and quickly determines that it's not interested in anything we have to offer.

Graceless churches often do not understand why they always have the problems they have.  The apostle Paul explained the situation this way, "But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another."  That is exactly what is happening.  Graceless churches are being consumed internally by their own lack of grace.  We attack this and that and soon become much better known for what we oppose than what we support, and our ability to present Jesus Christ to an unbelieving world is forfeited.

I realize that grace can be risky.  Some will want to take advantage of it and turn grace into license.  Nothing I've written here says that we can ignore the clear teachings of Scripture and appear soft on sin.  Jesus confronted sin whereever He encountered it, but He did so in a manner than demonstrated His love for the person.  Churck Swindoll once wrote, "'Cheap grace' justifies the sin rather than the sinner.  True grace, on the other hand, justifies the sinner, not the sin."  There's a huge difference.  We do not have to be afraid of extending true grace to others.

It has been well said that the church is to be a hospital for sinners, not a hotel for saints.  At various times in our lives we all need forgiveness for our sins.  Let's be as quick to extend grace to others as we are to receive it for ourselves.  You can learn more about this problem in my book The Healthy Community.