Rolling with the punches

This past weekend we traveled to Austin, TX to spend time with our son and his family. We had a great time even though it was cold. Our grandson played three baseball games, and we were never warm at any of them. However, the real problems began when we returned home.

We arrived at the airport early and found that our plane was scheduled to leave on time. Twenty minutes later the flight was canceled. We were caught up in the computer glitch that canceled a bunch of flights and caused many others to be delayed. Fortunately, a different flight was found for us, but it wouldn't leave until two hours after our original flight. That flight was only twenty-some minutes in the air which was good because 19 of those minutes were in the most turbulence I've ever experienced in a flight. (And I don't enjoy flying anyway!)

After landing we found that our next flight had been delayed two more hours. Three gate changes later we finally boarded and enjoyed a very smooth flight home.

I couldn't help but think about how the trip home was so much like ministry. Our tickets had been reserved for weeks. Everything about the trip had been planned to the best of our ability. However, there were so many things beyond our control. Computer problems, bad weather, canceled and delayed flights all came together to mock our carefully made plans. Yes, it was frustrating, but that's what happens in life...and often in ministry.

During my ministry I have encountered a lot of angry pastors, especially when I served in a judicatory role. Their ministries had not turned out like they thought it would when they began. Their churches often did not respond to their leadership the way they assumed. Their churches didn't grow like the ones they heard about in the church growth conferences they attended. People in their congregation sometimes didn't even act like Christians. They acted more like...people. Yes, it can get frustrating. I've been there.

Then I think about Jesus and His ministry here on earth. He handpicked his disciples, and look how much trouble He had with them. They were often carnal. They argued over who would be the greatest. They didn't seem to get even His most basic teachings. On the night He needed them the most they ran away except for one who later denied even knowing Him.

I had to learn pretty early in my ministry to roll with the punches. Sometimes things don't happen the way you think they should. Your plans get derailed. Sometimes your character gets questioned. It's easy to get angry if you allow yourself. Some I've known have given up and either left the calling God placed on their lives or they gave up and are just waiting for retirement. Even in my most frustrating moments neither was an option for me.

Roll with the punches. If you can't get what you want, take what you can and figure out how you might get the rest later. My flight was canceled. I didn't want to wait two hours for another flight, but it was either than or wait until the next day for a flight. We may have gotten home four hours later than the original plan, but we got home and I slept in my bed that night.

I want to see the church do X, but right now they are only willing to do Y. I'll settle for Y and suggest X later. I'm just glad they didn't reject both X and Y and settle for the status quo. When God called you into the ministry He never suggested it would be easy. Learn to relax and roll with the punches. It will make ministry much easier and allow you to accomplish more over time than if you give up.

This election is bringing out the worst in Christians

America has become a nation of rude, vulgar, and crass people. The lack of civility has only increased in recent years, and this election is making it even worse. Most disturbing is that many Christians can be included in this description of our society.

People seem more divided in this election cycle than in any I can remember. Although neither party nominated a person of sterling character, it seems that we are blind to the negatives our candidate brings to this election while believing that the other candidate is the devil incarnate. It is a shame in a nation of over 300 million people these are the best we can get to run for the highest office of the land, but this is where we are.

Both national conventions revealed how divided even our major political parties are in 2016. Republican leaders stayed away from their convention in droves at least partly in opposition to the nominee who would represent their party. The Democrat held a convention in which even the opening prayer was booed. According to one video I saw, one night of the convention Sanders supporters found their seats filled with non-delegates in an effort by the DNC to silence their protests.

Even more disturbing is the way Christians are attacking one another, especially on social media, for supporting one candidate or another. I've seen many comments from Christians that are just as ugly and crass as those coming from non-Christians. Christians are challenging the intelligence and even the faith of fellow believers who are supporting the candidate they oppose. It's fine to have a debate on the qualifications of the candidates and even to disagree, but we don't need to be disagreeable when we do so. Followers of Jesus Christ should at least be civil to one another when we disagree. If this isn't possible to do then the least they can do is to stay off social media until the election is over.

Like many, I know which candidate I prefer. It wasn't my first or even second choice during the primaries, but between the two candidates this is the only one for which I could vote. No doubt some of my friends will vote for the other candidate. They will have their reasons as I do for supporting their candidate. I may disagree with those reasons, but they have a right to hold them as I do to mine. When the election is over we will still be friends regardless of which candidate is elected.

Our goal should be to treat one another with respect regardless of our differences. I never want to have to apologize for something I've said or done while disagreeing with someone, and that should be a goal for every Christian.

Let's tone down the rhetoric and stop the personal attacks on those who hold opposing viewpoints. When this election is over, regardless of who wins, remember three things. Scripture commands us to pray for those in authority over us, God doesn't fly on Air Force One, and our salvation does not come out of Washington, DC.

Let your speech be with grace

The Apostle Paul reminds us in Colossians 4:6 "Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one."

I have to admit that there have been times I've struggled with this one. In fact, many times. Once, as I was reviewing my sermons for the previous few months, I noticed that many of them were quite negative in tone. The more I read through my sermon notes the more convicted I became. The next Sunday I began my message by apologizing to the congregation for the negativity that had been in my sermons for the previous months.

Many people come to church having been beaten up by life all week. They don't need to come to church only to have the pastor hammer them as well. As I shared that morning, I can say anything I need to say in a positive manner as well as in a negative one. I was committed from that time forward to eliminate the negativity from my sermons. I would not compromise the Gospel in any way, but I would also not beat up my listeners anymore either.

Writing this blog presents many opportunities to rant about some issue that is especially troublesome. Although I have written the occasional rant, I've tried to do so as graciously as possible. Believe me, there was much more I wanted to say in some of those rants! I tried my best to edit out the negativity and voice my concerns in a more positive and gracious way.

Yesterday, a friend of mine posted something on Facebook. I agreed with him, but another of his friends attacked his post. I responded in a very sarcastic manner, published my response, and was immediately convicted. I instantly deleted my post.

We seem to live in a world of crudeness. We have lost the ability to be civil with one another. People on social media say the most disgusting and cruel things to each other. If you read a news item online the comments that follow are often crude and ugly. Rather than commenting on the article these comments are more often than not personal attacks on the persons mentioned in the article. Unfortunately, Christians are included among those who resort to personal attacks and rude comments towards those who disagree with them.

Political events result in arrests as mobs run wild. Road rage incidents continue to escalate. Just yesterday the news reported that a car purposefully ran over a motorcycle injuring both riders after words were exchanged at a stop light.

We cannot control the actions of others nor can we control what they say and write. But, we can control our own speech. Maybe if each of us takes personal responsibility for our speech we can begin to restore some civility to this nation once again. Let's make sure our speech is always full of grace.

Change, decision making, and emotions

Unless you are Sheldon Cooper or Spock, logic only plays a small role in the decisions you make.  We can make lists of reasons for and against a decision, but when it comes crunch time our emotions will play a large part in the final decision we make.  Chip and Dan Heath makes this point well in their excellent book Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work when they write, "When you strip away all the rational mechanics of decision making - the generation of options, the weighing of information - what's left at the core is emotions...The buck stops with emotion."

Perhaps one of the greatest of these emotions is fear.  We are afraid of making mistakes, of being wrong.  We are afraid of what others might think of us if we make one choice over another.  We are afraid that the choices we make will put us in a situation from which we cannot escape.

As many of you know, a couple of years ago I started an auction business and got my auction license.  It's funny to watch people struggling to decide whether or not to increase their bid by a couple of dollars.  I've seen people anguish over the decision to bid another five dollars on something they've already bid over a hundred dollars on.  It's obvious this is something they want, but fear takes over and prevents them from bidding.  About the time the auctioneer declares the item sold, they will raise their hand to increase their bid, but by that time it's too late.  Someone else owns it.  I think this gives them the psychological satisfying sense that they tried to buy it but waited just a split-second too long.

As I work with the churches in my area I've never had one tell me they didn't want to reach new people, or grow, or impact people's lives.  But, when you begin to talk about the changes they might have to make to accomplish any of these you can see the fear in their eyes and hear it in their words.  Logically, they want to do the things they say they want to do, but emotionally many of them cannot let go of the familiar to make the changes needed to accomplish those things.

As leaders, we make a mistake if we just focus on all the reasons why we need to move forward with the changes that are needed.  We will seldom convince others that we need to make changes with logic alone.  We must address the emotional aspects of those changes as well.  Too often we just focus on the "what" of the changes and never address the "whys."

In smaller churches, especially, the fear that is generated when talking about change centers around some basic questions.

• How will this impact the relationships that exist in their church?  In smaller churches, relationships are key to everything, and change leaders must not overlook that.
• How will this impact my role in the church?  People who have invested their lives in a church will certainly be asking this question, and their fear is that their role will change.
• Will I even still have a role in this church is we move forward with the change?  Here the above fear is intensified.

To make better decisions and to be an effective change agent we must recognize the role that emotions play.  Effectively address those emotions and you will make better decisions and will see changes occur more frequently.  Ignore the emotions and few changes will occur in your life and ministry.