A leader in our community took his life last week. Although we are in a small community, our local newspaper recently reported that we average about one suicide each week. Various groups, including the ministerial association, have been addressing the problem, but so far that figure seems to be holding steady.
I did not know this leader so I know nothing of his life, his faith, or the reasons he decided to end his life. I would assume he was carrying some pain that he no longer felt he could live with. The problem is that suicide does not end the pain. It merely transfers it to other people: family, friends, other loved ones. I've heard several who knew him question whether there was anything they could have done to have prevented this. There is little anyone can do if a person is determined to end his or her life.
After a major stroke my mother attempted to end her life several times. She could never give a reason why except to say that she was tired of living with the limitations she had as a result of the stroke. Once, her counselor called to tell me that she felt Mom was suicidal again. We had her admitted to a hospital until the doctors felt that had passed.
Many pastors serve churches in which family members have lost loved ones to suicide. Occasionally, I hear ministers announce suicide is the unforgivable sin as the one who ends his or her life cannot ask God's forgiveness. This not only reflects very poor theology; it also brings tremendous pain to those whose loved ones ended their lives.
How should pastors address suicide? The first thing is to learn as much as they can about the causes of suicide. As they talk to members of their churches they need to be watching for signs that the person may be considering this step. Such warning signs are not always apparent, but many times they are. Mom's counselor could not tell me that Mom was going to attempt suicide, but she could tell me that she detected signs that she was considering it again. Learn those signs.
The second thing is to develop a good understanding of the grace of God. Is our salvation based upon our asking forgiveness for every sin or is it based on what Christ did for us on the cross? If it is based on our being forgiven for every sin, we are all in trouble because I doubt that anyone asks forgiveness every time they sin.
The third thing is to talk about suicide. We need to let people know there are alternative ways of dealing with the pain in their lives, and that suicide is not the answer. Don't be afraid to address it in sermons and Bible studies. Have it as a topic in a small group. Ask someone qualified to do so to host a recovery group for persons who have lost loved ones to suicide. Work with other area churches and mental health leaders to host a community-wide workshop on preventing suicide in your community. There are many things you can do. Decide what will work best in your community.
Wednesday, July 25, 2018
Tuesday, July 17, 2018
Do you really want to improve?
Yesterday evening I read an interesting statement that said if a person really wanted to improve himself or herself that person would already be making the necessary changes. We often talk about wanting to exercise more, eat healthier, lose weight, quit a habit, start a new hobby, learn a new skill, etc., but we never take the first step towards achieving any of the changes we claim we want to make. This is an indication we don't really want to change; we just want to talk like we want to change.
What's true of individuals is true of churches as well. Almost any church will tell you they want to grow, but they never do. The reason for that is they never take the first step towards anything that would encourage growth in their church. They may not be pleased with the size of their church, but they are more displeased with changing anything that might them uncomfortable.
This past Sunday I preached a sermon on "The Consequences of Our Choices." In that message I stated that their church is today what they decided 5 years ago, 10 years ago, and even 20 years ago they wanted it to be." Now, I'm sure nobody made a motion in a business meeting to keep the size of the church at its current level, but decisions made in those meetings impacted the size of the church today. I also told them that their church will be 5 years from now, 10 years from now, and 20 years from now what they decide today they want it to be. Choices have consequences. Decisions impact directions.
Towards the end of my time as a regional minister I was working with a pastor search committee of a small church. I always asked those committees what they wanted in their next pastor. The answer I got that evening was the same I often received, "We want a pastor who will grow our church." That evening I responded with a statement I had never made to a previous search committee. I said, "Are you sure about that? You do know that if you could grow your church by doing what you've been doing you would already be growing. So, are you telling me you want a new pastor who will come in here and change everything so you can grow?" The chair of the committee smiled and said that they might want to reconsider their answer to my earlier question.
No matter where you are in life, you can make changes to improve yourself. No matter the condition of your church, you can make changes to improve the way you do ministry. That is...if you really want to improve.
What's true of individuals is true of churches as well. Almost any church will tell you they want to grow, but they never do. The reason for that is they never take the first step towards anything that would encourage growth in their church. They may not be pleased with the size of their church, but they are more displeased with changing anything that might them uncomfortable.
This past Sunday I preached a sermon on "The Consequences of Our Choices." In that message I stated that their church is today what they decided 5 years ago, 10 years ago, and even 20 years ago they wanted it to be." Now, I'm sure nobody made a motion in a business meeting to keep the size of the church at its current level, but decisions made in those meetings impacted the size of the church today. I also told them that their church will be 5 years from now, 10 years from now, and 20 years from now what they decide today they want it to be. Choices have consequences. Decisions impact directions.
Towards the end of my time as a regional minister I was working with a pastor search committee of a small church. I always asked those committees what they wanted in their next pastor. The answer I got that evening was the same I often received, "We want a pastor who will grow our church." That evening I responded with a statement I had never made to a previous search committee. I said, "Are you sure about that? You do know that if you could grow your church by doing what you've been doing you would already be growing. So, are you telling me you want a new pastor who will come in here and change everything so you can grow?" The chair of the committee smiled and said that they might want to reconsider their answer to my earlier question.
No matter where you are in life, you can make changes to improve yourself. No matter the condition of your church, you can make changes to improve the way you do ministry. That is...if you really want to improve.
Wednesday, July 11, 2018
What do people really want?
Jay Leno used to do a regular skit in which he would go into the community and ask people questions about political leaders, how the government works, and general questions about hot topics of the time. Many of the people he interviewed had no idea what he was talking about. Many of the questions could have been answered by many elementary school age children who had been exposed to American history or civics. I would keep thinking to myself, "And these people vote???"
Since the election there have been numerous protests such as we are seeing now that a new Supreme Court justice has been selected by the President. Various people have done on-the-field interviews with some of the protesters. Many of them had no idea why they were there or what they were upset about. In a pre-election clip on the Jimmy Kimmel Show Clinton supporters were given quotes made by Trump during the campaign and told Clinton had made those comments. Virtually every person interviewed said they agreed with the statement when told Clinton had made it.
The sad fact is that many of the most vocal protesters are clueless about why they are protesting or what differences they might actually have with the President and his policies. Usually, the louder someone screams the less they actually have to say. They substitute volume for substance. If someone does legitimately disagree they are able to discuss and debate their differences calmly and rationally by making clear points as to their disagreement. They are not reduced to character assignation and cruel, baseless remarks as we are currently seeing played out in the media.
What's even sadder is that the same thing happens in churches. People who do not regularly read their Bibles, are spiritually immature, and unaware of what is being done in the church are often the most opposed to change. Because they have no real reason for their opposition other than it isn't what they want, they get loud. They attempt to intimidate. They threaten to leave if they do not get their way. They pout and sulk. They stay away from the church for a period of time to get even with those who did not cave in to their demands.
At times you have to wonder what it is they really want. For some, they want to feel they are in control. Others want to keep things the way they are because that's what makes them comfortable. Because they are biblically ignorant, they do not know what the church is to be about or even how they are to live as mature Christian individuals.
As we watch the protesters rant and rave we have to wonder what they really want. If the interviews I mentioned are reliable, I'm not sure they know what they want. They know they are against something, but they're not sure what. They want things to be different, but many of them cannot articulate what that is either.
A friend of mine posted on Facebook the other day "I want the America I grew up in back." I responded "I want the same thing." I'm not sure that will happen.
Since the election there have been numerous protests such as we are seeing now that a new Supreme Court justice has been selected by the President. Various people have done on-the-field interviews with some of the protesters. Many of them had no idea why they were there or what they were upset about. In a pre-election clip on the Jimmy Kimmel Show Clinton supporters were given quotes made by Trump during the campaign and told Clinton had made those comments. Virtually every person interviewed said they agreed with the statement when told Clinton had made it.
The sad fact is that many of the most vocal protesters are clueless about why they are protesting or what differences they might actually have with the President and his policies. Usually, the louder someone screams the less they actually have to say. They substitute volume for substance. If someone does legitimately disagree they are able to discuss and debate their differences calmly and rationally by making clear points as to their disagreement. They are not reduced to character assignation and cruel, baseless remarks as we are currently seeing played out in the media.
What's even sadder is that the same thing happens in churches. People who do not regularly read their Bibles, are spiritually immature, and unaware of what is being done in the church are often the most opposed to change. Because they have no real reason for their opposition other than it isn't what they want, they get loud. They attempt to intimidate. They threaten to leave if they do not get their way. They pout and sulk. They stay away from the church for a period of time to get even with those who did not cave in to their demands.
At times you have to wonder what it is they really want. For some, they want to feel they are in control. Others want to keep things the way they are because that's what makes them comfortable. Because they are biblically ignorant, they do not know what the church is to be about or even how they are to live as mature Christian individuals.
As we watch the protesters rant and rave we have to wonder what they really want. If the interviews I mentioned are reliable, I'm not sure they know what they want. They know they are against something, but they're not sure what. They want things to be different, but many of them cannot articulate what that is either.
A friend of mine posted on Facebook the other day "I want the America I grew up in back." I responded "I want the same thing." I'm not sure that will happen.
Tuesday, July 3, 2018
Celebrating the ministry
This past weekend was quite an experience. I had an estate auction for an individual who had been a clock and watch repairman for many years in our community. He was also quite a collector of antiques and many interesting pieces. I knew it would be a big auction but didn't realize how big until I began setting it up. I worked all week to get the set up ready for Saturday.
Saturday was one of the hottest days of the year with a heat index of over 100 degrees. That didn't keep people away, and they started early looking over all we had to offer. People came from Illinois, Ohio, Kentucky, all over Indiana, and even one came from New York.
Although the sale was a large one, we finished it in four hours selling an average of 85 pieces an hour. I thank my crew for much of that as they worked very hard in the heat and humidity to make this a successful sale. The buyers were also ready to buy, and that always makes for a quicker sale.
The only negative was after the sale I lost my voice. I had been fighting allergies and a cough all week, and the auction caught up to me. What made it worse was that I had to preach two services the next morning! I squeaked through both services, but I made it.
However, my lack of a voice did not detract from the worship services. Our worship leaders did a great job in both services, we had Communion, and in the second service we celebrated a baptism. What made the baptism more special was that the young lady being baptized had requested her grandfather baptize her. I entered the water with them, made a few comments, and then he baptized his granddaughter. It made for a beautiful moment!
Some ministers spend a lot of time complaining about the ministry. What could be more rewarding than to be a part of worship services like that?
I will be 70 next month, and people often ask why I still do all the things I do. It's because I enjoy them. I had the opportunity to minister to a family that needs to dispose of their parent's estate. I got to preach God's Word to His people and join them in both Communion and a baptism. And, I got to do all this with people I love and enjoy being with. Why would I want to do anything else?
If God has called you into the ministry, don't complain about it. Celebrate it! He has trusted you to lead a group of His people. Yes, some aspects of ministry can be frustrating, but if the overall experience of being in ministry doesn't excite you then something is wrong. You've either missed your call or you've allowed the enemy to rob you of the joy of serving the Lord. I love being with God's people and ministering to them. I pray you feel the same way.
Saturday was one of the hottest days of the year with a heat index of over 100 degrees. That didn't keep people away, and they started early looking over all we had to offer. People came from Illinois, Ohio, Kentucky, all over Indiana, and even one came from New York.
Although the sale was a large one, we finished it in four hours selling an average of 85 pieces an hour. I thank my crew for much of that as they worked very hard in the heat and humidity to make this a successful sale. The buyers were also ready to buy, and that always makes for a quicker sale.
The only negative was after the sale I lost my voice. I had been fighting allergies and a cough all week, and the auction caught up to me. What made it worse was that I had to preach two services the next morning! I squeaked through both services, but I made it.
However, my lack of a voice did not detract from the worship services. Our worship leaders did a great job in both services, we had Communion, and in the second service we celebrated a baptism. What made the baptism more special was that the young lady being baptized had requested her grandfather baptize her. I entered the water with them, made a few comments, and then he baptized his granddaughter. It made for a beautiful moment!
Some ministers spend a lot of time complaining about the ministry. What could be more rewarding than to be a part of worship services like that?
I will be 70 next month, and people often ask why I still do all the things I do. It's because I enjoy them. I had the opportunity to minister to a family that needs to dispose of their parent's estate. I got to preach God's Word to His people and join them in both Communion and a baptism. And, I got to do all this with people I love and enjoy being with. Why would I want to do anything else?
If God has called you into the ministry, don't complain about it. Celebrate it! He has trusted you to lead a group of His people. Yes, some aspects of ministry can be frustrating, but if the overall experience of being in ministry doesn't excite you then something is wrong. You've either missed your call or you've allowed the enemy to rob you of the joy of serving the Lord. I love being with God's people and ministering to them. I pray you feel the same way.
Thursday, June 21, 2018
Searching for a new pastor
One of the most difficult times for churches is when they are seeking new pastoral leadership. Smaller churches have the most difficulty since many pastors will not even consider smaller churches. Even medium size churches often discover it is more difficult to find a new pastor than in the past.
There are a lot of reasons for this, but for our denomination the problem is very simple. We have more churches than ministers. Many of the pastors we do have are nearing retirement and not interested in a new church, and some ministers seeking placement simply do not have the qualifications many churches seek.
For 14 years I served as an Area Minister in our region, and one of my tasks was to assist churches seeking new pastors. It seemed like every year it became more difficult to find suitable candidates for these churches to interview. Some of this was because the churches had unreasonable expectations, but often the problem was that the candidate lacked the skills or experience the church needed. I've been retired for two years now, but I understand the problem has not improved.
It's important that churches seeking pastors not get discouraged or in a big hurry. I often told search committees that having no pastor was better than having the wrong pastor. It was not uncommon for many of our churches to spend 18-24 months seeking a pastor, and in some cases it took even longer.
Churches need to make sure their expectations for a new pastor are reasonable. I'm sorry, requiring a pastor to have a PhD to serve a church of 40 people is not a reasonable expectation. Even requiring an MDiv may not be a reasonable expectation for these churches. Churches might also think through the requirement that their pastor leads a Bible study every Wednesday night for six people. That time could probably be better spent doing something else.
Some churches cannot stand the idea of not having a pastor. I've seen some churches call the first person who came down the road with a cross around his neck and often lived to regret it. Spend time determining what your church needs in a pastor and begin seeking individuals who can provide that. Check every reference, even some that might not be listed on the resume. Today it makes sense to do a background check on your final candidate before presenting him or her to the church. If your church selects good people for the search committee, and they take their time, your chances of finding the right person for your church will be much higher.
This should be a time of intense prayer, not only by the search committee but by the entire church. Seeking a pastor is a spiritual adventure. You need to invite God to be part of this search because He already knows the person He's prepared to lead your church.
If your church is part of a denomination, it's also a good idea to invite a denominational leader to be part of your search. There may be some things he or she will know about candidates that you are considering that will not show up on a resume. They may also know people who are not actively seeking to move but might be open to such a move.
There are a lot of reasons for this, but for our denomination the problem is very simple. We have more churches than ministers. Many of the pastors we do have are nearing retirement and not interested in a new church, and some ministers seeking placement simply do not have the qualifications many churches seek.
For 14 years I served as an Area Minister in our region, and one of my tasks was to assist churches seeking new pastors. It seemed like every year it became more difficult to find suitable candidates for these churches to interview. Some of this was because the churches had unreasonable expectations, but often the problem was that the candidate lacked the skills or experience the church needed. I've been retired for two years now, but I understand the problem has not improved.
It's important that churches seeking pastors not get discouraged or in a big hurry. I often told search committees that having no pastor was better than having the wrong pastor. It was not uncommon for many of our churches to spend 18-24 months seeking a pastor, and in some cases it took even longer.
Churches need to make sure their expectations for a new pastor are reasonable. I'm sorry, requiring a pastor to have a PhD to serve a church of 40 people is not a reasonable expectation. Even requiring an MDiv may not be a reasonable expectation for these churches. Churches might also think through the requirement that their pastor leads a Bible study every Wednesday night for six people. That time could probably be better spent doing something else.
Some churches cannot stand the idea of not having a pastor. I've seen some churches call the first person who came down the road with a cross around his neck and often lived to regret it. Spend time determining what your church needs in a pastor and begin seeking individuals who can provide that. Check every reference, even some that might not be listed on the resume. Today it makes sense to do a background check on your final candidate before presenting him or her to the church. If your church selects good people for the search committee, and they take their time, your chances of finding the right person for your church will be much higher.
This should be a time of intense prayer, not only by the search committee but by the entire church. Seeking a pastor is a spiritual adventure. You need to invite God to be part of this search because He already knows the person He's prepared to lead your church.
If your church is part of a denomination, it's also a good idea to invite a denominational leader to be part of your search. There may be some things he or she will know about candidates that you are considering that will not show up on a resume. They may also know people who are not actively seeking to move but might be open to such a move.
Tuesday, June 19, 2018
The pastor's library
I've written numerous times about how important a good library is for a minister. When I first began my ministry in 1981 my books would fit in a three foot section of one book shelf. As I sit here typing this I am looking at five seven foot tall bookshelves filled to overflowing plus two four foot bookshelves also filled. I realize some ministers have basements filled with bookshelves, but I feel pretty good about the books I've accumulated as a bivocational minister. Plus, I've given away and sold around 100 of my ministry-related books over the years.
Of course, at some point this becomes a problem. In a couple of months I will turn 70 years old. I am nearing the end of a term as the Transitional Pastor of a nearby church and have no idea if another similar ministry will be offered to me. I keep telling my wife I don't want her stuck with these books, and yet I struggle getting rid of most of them...just in case!
Recently I was talking to the wife of a pastor friend of mine. He has retired but is serving as an interim pastor. When they moved from their parsonage she gave away many of his books and boxed up the rest. He now has to tell her if he needs certain books so she can get them for him. As she explained, they moved into a much smaller house, and it wasn't possible for him to have shelves for his books. Maybe I just need to downsize to force myself to part with most of my library!
At some point I'll find a solution that makes sense and is one I can live with. Until then, I encourage you younger readers to invest in good books. I realize books are expensive today, but they still make a great investment for anyone involved in ministry. Don't be afraid to invest in quality books written by respected authors that speak to challenges you or your church are facing or that address issues important to you.
I also encourage you to not limit your reading to theology and ministry related books. To be effective in ministry it's important to understand people and the things that impact their lives. I have a number of books that focus on business issues, secular leadership, personal finance, and understanding the reasons people act and think as they do. I not only want to be able to exegete the Scriptures; I want to be able to exegete our culture as well so I can speak to it.
Earlier this year I boxed up some of my books, cut my name off the front page and sold the box at one of my auctions. About a month ago I stopped at a yard sale and found 2-3 of those books in the sale. I checked, and there was the place where I had cut out my name so I knew they were my books. I did a quick calculation and decided I had paid about $200.00 for the books in that box. It sold for about $5.00, and now the books are showing up in yard sales! There's a lot about that which could upset me, but it didn't. My prayer is that God will bring those books into the lives of people who need to read the material found in them. If reading those books transforms their lives that will be far better than them remaining on my shelves gathering dust until I decide to read them again.
Of course, at some point this becomes a problem. In a couple of months I will turn 70 years old. I am nearing the end of a term as the Transitional Pastor of a nearby church and have no idea if another similar ministry will be offered to me. I keep telling my wife I don't want her stuck with these books, and yet I struggle getting rid of most of them...just in case!
Recently I was talking to the wife of a pastor friend of mine. He has retired but is serving as an interim pastor. When they moved from their parsonage she gave away many of his books and boxed up the rest. He now has to tell her if he needs certain books so she can get them for him. As she explained, they moved into a much smaller house, and it wasn't possible for him to have shelves for his books. Maybe I just need to downsize to force myself to part with most of my library!
At some point I'll find a solution that makes sense and is one I can live with. Until then, I encourage you younger readers to invest in good books. I realize books are expensive today, but they still make a great investment for anyone involved in ministry. Don't be afraid to invest in quality books written by respected authors that speak to challenges you or your church are facing or that address issues important to you.
I also encourage you to not limit your reading to theology and ministry related books. To be effective in ministry it's important to understand people and the things that impact their lives. I have a number of books that focus on business issues, secular leadership, personal finance, and understanding the reasons people act and think as they do. I not only want to be able to exegete the Scriptures; I want to be able to exegete our culture as well so I can speak to it.
Earlier this year I boxed up some of my books, cut my name off the front page and sold the box at one of my auctions. About a month ago I stopped at a yard sale and found 2-3 of those books in the sale. I checked, and there was the place where I had cut out my name so I knew they were my books. I did a quick calculation and decided I had paid about $200.00 for the books in that box. It sold for about $5.00, and now the books are showing up in yard sales! There's a lot about that which could upset me, but it didn't. My prayer is that God will bring those books into the lives of people who need to read the material found in them. If reading those books transforms their lives that will be far better than them remaining on my shelves gathering dust until I decide to read them again.
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
Blessed are the peacemakers
In Matthew 5: 9 Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God." As President Trump meets with the ruler of North Korea one cannot help but be reminded of this verse. This is a truly historic occasion as the leaders of the United States and North Korea sit down to talk face to face.
Obviously, it is too early to know the outcome of this discussion. Even if an agreement is reached, North Korea has been known to violate previous agreements. Still...having both sides sitting down to discuss a new possible agreement is better than the threats both sides were making just a few months ago.
Regardless of one's political bent, I struggle to understand the continued attacks against our president, especially during this important time in history. From Democrat leaders to professional athletes to actors and actresses it seems that each of them try to outdo one another with their profane attacks against President Trump. It's fine to disagree with his political views but to continue to attack him personally is outrageous and damaging to our nation. At this time North Korea and the world needs to see this nation supporting the president as he negotiates with North Korea.
Regardless of whether one is Democrat or Republican, this is the time Christians need to pray for our president and the discussions occurring in Singapore. These discussions could impact the world in which our grandchildren will live. That makes them vitally important in my opinion. If you want to criticize President Trump's political views later, that's fine, but for now let's pray for him and all those representing the United States and the free world in these discussions.
Obviously, it is too early to know the outcome of this discussion. Even if an agreement is reached, North Korea has been known to violate previous agreements. Still...having both sides sitting down to discuss a new possible agreement is better than the threats both sides were making just a few months ago.
Regardless of one's political bent, I struggle to understand the continued attacks against our president, especially during this important time in history. From Democrat leaders to professional athletes to actors and actresses it seems that each of them try to outdo one another with their profane attacks against President Trump. It's fine to disagree with his political views but to continue to attack him personally is outrageous and damaging to our nation. At this time North Korea and the world needs to see this nation supporting the president as he negotiates with North Korea.
Regardless of whether one is Democrat or Republican, this is the time Christians need to pray for our president and the discussions occurring in Singapore. These discussions could impact the world in which our grandchildren will live. That makes them vitally important in my opinion. If you want to criticize President Trump's political views later, that's fine, but for now let's pray for him and all those representing the United States and the free world in these discussions.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)