Time away

 This past week my wife and I went to Panama City Beach. Our daughter stays in a condo there for a couple of months in the fall, and we often go down around our anniversary to spend time with her and to enjoy the ocean. The weather was perfect with mid-80s all week and no rain. That allowed us to spend a couple of days on the beach and a day at the pool as well as enjoying some other activities. On Sunday we enjoyed going to the church they attend while they are down there. It's a great church with incredible worship and a very solid ministry. The pastor announced they had seen 179 decisions for Christ in the previous two weeks! Many accepted Christ the Sunday we were there. Last night the church had their Trunk-and-Treat and had 7,000 people visit for treats. This is a church that is doing a lot of good things! However, in this post I want to speak to taking time away.

When I speak to pastor groups I urge them to take their vacations. When I speak to churches I urge them to insist their pastors take their vacations. In fact, I encourage them to go one step further and pass a motion in a business meeting that they will dock the pastor one week's pay for each week of vacation he or she doesn't take that year! That's how important I believe time away is.

When I began my pastoral ministry the church gave me two weeks vacation, and I never took both weeks. My stupidity cost me when I became clinically depressed and spent a year on medication and counseling. We need that time away for our own mental health not to mention the well-being of our families. After I recovered the church increased that to four weeks vacation, and you can be sure I took it.

As a judicatory minister I worked with many churches in their pastoral searches. Many of the smaller ones offered two weeks vacation to the new pastor, and if he stayed long enough they might add another week or two. I always encouraged them to start the new pastor with four weeks vacation. What does this extra two weeks cost the church. If they pay a supply pastor $200.00 it costs the church $400.00 to give the pastor the extra two weeks. If the church can't afford that it needs to close down.

Those two additional weeks sends a message the pastor and family that they are important to the church. The church cares for them. If that message isn't worth $400.00 then I would say that the church really doesn't care for their pastor, and he or she may need to seek a new place to serve that will honor them.

Of course, it doesn't matter how much time away the church allows the pastor if he or she doesn't take it. I have known too many pastors who followed my early example and would not use the vacation time they were given. This is a sign of arrogance on the part of the pastor. This is the mindset of someone who believes that if he or she isn't there, God can't do it. I know because this was my early mindset, and it is pure arrogance. Listen, the cemeteries are full of irreplaceable people! One day you will join them, and it may be sooner than you would like if you do not take time to refresh yourself, and the church will continue on as it did before under new leadership.

If you do not receive four weeks vacation from your church I want to encourage you to advocate for that. You many want to bring in someone from your denominational leadership to do that for you if you are uncomfortable doing so. While you're at it you might as well ask for a 2-3 months sabbatical after seven years. After serving in ministry for the past 40+ I can tell you that you will need it! Without it you are likely to get the 7-year itch and begin to feel that "God is calling you to another place of service." The church will find out it was much less costly to give you that sabbatical than the cost of finding and calling a new pastor.

I love pastors, and I want you to be able to serve for a long, long time. That will not happen if you do not take time for yourself and your family. Taking your vacations and a sabbatical will go a long way to keep you in ministry for the long haul.

The church and mental illness

One of the chapters in my ebook "Is Your Church Ready for Ministry in the Coming Decade?" addresses the church's response to mental illness.  According to one study of 500 churches, over 98% of the responding pastors said they knew members in their congregation who suffered from some form of mental illness. Yet, only 12.5% of those same pastors reported that mental health issues were ever discussed in the church. There seems to be a major disconnect here.

It is estimated that 1 in 4 adults sitting in our pews each week and 1 in 5 children are dealing with mental illness. Their needs are being ignored by the majority of our churches. We have no problem offering healing to those with physical, financial or relational issues, but we seem to avoid those with mental health issues. Perhaps we forget that many of our giants in the faith struggled with mental health challenges. Martin Luther, Charles Spurgeon and J. B. Phillips among others struggled at times with depression.

As I point out in my book, there are a number of misconceptions Christians have about mental illness which may result in our reluctance to address it. Some believe that mental illness is a sign of a lack of spiritual growth and maturity. They would advise the person suffering from a mental illness to pray more, read their Bibles and trust God. Others think that mental illness is the result of unconfessed sin. Some insist that mental illness is a sign of demonic possession. When we have such misconceptions we tend to offer simplistic solutions, which when they fail, can make the problem worse.

Unfortunately, too many churches continue to teach that a Christian seeking treatment for mental illness is committing a sin. They see if as a lack of faith. In their view, taking medication or seeing a counselor for treatment is showing a lack of faith in God. Teaching such as this can cause even more anxiety in a person who does not need that anxiety.

I've been very open about my battle with depression in the mid-1980s. For a year I took anti-depression medication and saw a counselor weekly until the depression left me. During that time I continued to pastor my church and work a full-time job although there were days when that was a struggle. I also learned a lot about myself and a lot about God. One of the things I learned as I emerged from that depression was that God truly would never leave me nor forsake me. It became more that a Bible verse I believed; I now knew it from personal experience.

What can the church do to provide a positive ministry to those dealing with mental illness? First, I recommend that pastors and others in leadership speak openly about it. I have shared my testimony in many settings, and every time people came to me privately and thanked me for being so open. Second, I recommend that pastors be careful in their use of language. Being careless in how one speaks of those dealing with mental illnesses can be very hurtful even when that it not the intent. Third, it is helpful to understand what can cause various types of mental illnesses. Rather than clinging to misconceptions study the issue for yourself and learn what causes these problems. One reason I included this chapter in the book is so I could offer a brief overview of some of the causes. Finally, be careful about diagnosing and treating those with mental illness. Unless you are a trained counselor it's best to refer those who think may be dealing with a mental illness to trained people. Always be willing to provide pastoral care, but leave the counseling to those trained to do so.

Mental illness and the church

In my latest e-Book Is Your Church Ready for Ministry in the Coming Decade? there is a chapter that discusses the church's response to mental illness. The chapter begins with a quote from one who has studied how mental illness is addressed in churches. She writes, "If your church is typical of the US population, on any given Sunday one in four adults and one in five children sitting around you are suffering from a mental illness." That is a startling statistic for many to consider, and some may choose to not believe it could be true of their congregation. That may be a naïve assumption because many struggling with such illnesses often attempt to hide it unsure how the congregation would respond if they knew the challenges the person had.

Some churches do not respond well to those with mental illnesses. Some believe such illness is due to unconfessed sin in the person's life, and they take the attitude that until the person is willing to confess that sin there is nothing the church can do to help them. Other churches believe mental illness is the result of demon possession and want to cast out the demon. Some churches teach that if a person takes medication or seeks counseling for mental illness it is a sign of a lack of faith in God. These churches often do no more than encourage the person with a mental illness to trust in Jesus or spend more time in prayer and Bible reading. Such advice may be beneficial, but it is unlikely to help someone whose mental illness is due to biological or genetic issues or those who have suffered a traumatic event in their lives.

Many church simply choose to pretend that mental illness is not a problem in their church. In one study 98.4 percent of pastors responded admitted they knew persons who had a mental illness. Yet, 12.5 percent said is is rarely discussed in their churches, and 20 percent reported it was never discussed.

As I've shared before in this blog, in the mid-1980s I suffered from clinical depression. For a year I took medicines and saw a counselor each week until the depression left. I have spoken openly about my struggle in numerous churches and leadership conferences I have led. As a result of my openness I have had dozens of church leaders, both pastors and lay, confess to me that they too struggled with depression. After mentioning it in one church a pastor's wife came to me and whispered in my ear, "Thank you."

If the numbers in the earlier quote are correct, mental illness is a serious problem in our society. Personally, I feel the numbers might be a little low as many with such illnesses never seek help. This means there is a large group of people the church is ignoring if it does not speak to this issue and offer help. This includes both persons within our congregations and those in the communities God has given us to serve.

The chapter in the book offers several things churches can do to minister to those dealing with mental illnesses. What we cannot do is continue to ignore the problem or pretend it doesn't exist. The church was always meant to be a place where people could find healing, and this is an area where many are hurting.

The church and mental health issues

 According to some research, on any given Sunday one in four adults and one in five children sitting in our congregations are suffering from some form of mental illness. While you may question that for your congregation, remember that many of them are suffering silently. They are afraid to tell anyone of the challenges they have. They sit there week after week with smiles on their faces while dealing with struggles they dare not reveal. In some cases they have reason to fear.

Many churches do not handle persons with mental illness well. Some will insist that someone dealing with a mental illness must have unconfessed sin in their lives. Unless they are willing to confess that sin they cannot be helped. Other churches view mental illness as a sign of demon possession. Some denounce anyone who seeks medical treatment such as medication or counseling for their illness to lack faith. Sometimes churches will ignore the person with a mental illness hoping he or she will just go away, and in a few situations the church may even ask the person to leave the church. Obviously, none of these are acceptable responses for a church to take towards someone suffering from a mental illness.

Mental illness has been called the "no casserole" disease in churches. If someone has a physical disease the church family is often quick to respond. Visits to the hospital and home are made. Meals are prepared and taken to the family. Offers are made to take care of routine tasks such as mowing the lawn while the person recovers. But, if the problem is a mental illness churches are often at a loss to know what to do so many do nothing.

Martin Luther, Charles Spurgeon, J. B. Phillips all experienced depression during their lives. Many other well-known and not so well-known Christian leaders have battled depression and other mental illnesses. Countless others have been impacted by family members who have suffered. Rick Warren was very open about his son's battle with depression that ultimately led to the young man taking his life. Mental illness struggles are found in both Christians and non-Christians, and the church needs to learn better ways of addressing them.

Here are some things the church can do to offer healing to those dealing with mental illness.

1. Be careful with language. When we talk about mental health issues we need to avoid mocking or belittling those dealing with such issues. Pastors especially need to be careful here.
2. We need to become aware of the causes of mental illnesses. There are a number of causes, including genetic, that we need to know about. If nothing else, this can help eliminate some of the stigma sometimes associated with mental illnesses.
3. We do not want to diagnose and counsel those with mental illnesses unless we are trained to do so. If we see someone showing symptoms it is appropriate to offer pastoral care, express our concerns about the person's well being and offer to refer them to a trained counselor.
4. It will be helpful to develop relationships with mental health practitioners in the area so you can offer good referrals. One of the things to find out about these individuals is their view towards the Christian faith. Some may actually believe that such faith is the cause of the mental illness.
5. It is always appropriate to pray for the individual.
6. Make your church a safe place for people to talk about mental illness.
7. Do not neglect the family. The person with mental health challenges is not the only one who needs pastoral care. No doubt the family has gone through much and needs the support of the church.

These are just some things the church can do to minister to those dealing with mental health challenges. What we don't want to do is to make their situation worse by ignoring them or blaming them for their problems. Let us pray that God will help us become more sensitive to those struggling with mental health challenges and give us the insight to help them find the healing they need.

Is your church ready for the future?

Churches and denominations have spent a lot of time in recent weeks talking about what the future holds for the church when this pandemic is over. It's probably a good discussion to have, but it misses an important point that many are overlooking. With or without the challenges brought about by the pandemic, the church is moving into difficult waters as it is going to be confronted with a growing number of challenges in the coming years. These have nothing to do with church structures or systems, They have everything to do with the culture in which we will minister.

I just finished writing a new book this week with the working title of Is Your Church Ready for Ministry in the Coming Decade? I am now in the process of contacting publishers and literary agents to see if anyone is interested in the book.

The book looks at some of the issues that I believe the church will have to confront in the next decade if it wishes to be relevant to our culture. Many of these are not new issues, but they are issues the church has either refused to address in the past or failed to adequately address. Many of them are quite disruptive, even now, and will become more so in the near future.

Some of the issues I mention are the growing divide between races in this country, the church's response to the mental health crisis affecting the nation, poverty issues, widespread addiction, the breakdown of the traditional family, the growing acts of violence sweeping the nation, sexual and gender issues, the level of distrust of authority in both government and the church, including that directed towards God and the Scriptures, and the increasing attacks on religious freedom that we are experiencing.

For too long the church has sat around wringing its hands complaining about these things but doing little about them. For instance, a study of 500 churches 98.4 percent of the pastors said they knew of people in their congregation dealing with some form of mental illness or disorder. Yet, only 12.5 percent of these pastors reported their churches ever discussed mental health issues openly.

A similar discrepancy exists when it comes to race issues. In another study only four percent of white Protestants identified racism as an issue while one-third of African-American Protestants said it was an issue. Of that number, twenty-five percent said it was the most important issue Christians needed to address. It's hard to fix a problem if people are not aware there is a problem.

Many of the challenges mentioned in the book are not new. In fact, the first-century church faced many of these same issues as has the church throughout history. But, these problems are getting worse, and as our population continues to increase I believe they will become even greater problems in the future. My other concern is that much of the church isn't ready to face them. In fact, we've often tried to avoid them or we've addressed them using the wrong tactics.

I try to offer solutions that will honor both biblical truth and grace. Sometimes, the solution can be a little messy and make some folks in the church uncomfortable, but I believe they offer the best opportunity to help people find real answers to their situations.

Please pray with me that this book will find a publisher. I believe it contains a much needed message for the church as it prepares to minister in the coming years.

The church and mental illness

I have been very open about my struggle with clinical depression back in the mid-1980s. It was a very challenging year as I battled the disease with medicine and counseling. One of the saddest aspects of my struggle was that I never told the congregation what I was dealing with until I had recovered. I can blame part of my reluctance to share that information on the fact that I wasn't thinking clearly for part of that time, but the real reason is probably that I wasn't sure how it would be received. I still remember thinking back then that if the sheep knew the shepherd was sick they might leave.

Generally speaking, the church does not do a good job addressing mental health issues. We are quick to pray and minister to people battling cancer or recovering from surgery, but we tend to back away when there are mental illness issues. Some in the church call mental illness the "no-casserole illness." This is a shame because there are people sitting in our pews every week dealing with such illnesses.

Leadership Journal did a survey of 500 church leaders. 98.4 percent of these leaders reported that they were aware of people within their congregations who were dealing with mental illnesses or disorders. Despite that, only 12.5 percent of these leaders said that mental illness was discussed openly and in a healthy way in their churches.

To get an idea of how prevalent mental disorders are in this country, these illnesses are the number one cause of disability in America. About 25 percent of Americans 18 years of age and older are diagnosed with a mental disorder each year. In addition, about 20 percent of children are diagnosed with some type of mental disorder as well. If our congregations are typical of the American population about 25 percent of the adults and 20 percent of the children in our pews are dealing with some type of mental illness. Unfortunately, in far too many cases they, and their families, are not getting the support they need from their churches.

These figures come from a new book I started reading this week called Troubled Minds: Mental Illness and the Church's Mission by Amy Simpson. Although I've just started reading the book it has touched me as I've thought about the people who have sat under my ministry over the years who needed ministry for these types of issues and never received it. It has made me think of my own mother who suffered from serious depression after a major stroke. Her illness was so severe at times that she had to be hospitalized. Our family felt so helpless. When she was home, which was most of the time, Dad provided most of the care she needed. He admitted to me there were times when he felt overwhelmed, but he was committed to caring for his wife.

Mental health illnesses are no different than physical health issues. Some people have asked why I went to counseling when I was depressed. My answer is that if someone has pneumonia they would go to the doctor, so why wouldn't someone seek medical help when they have a mental disorder in their lives? Mental illness is not a sign of a lack of faith; it is a disorder that needs to be treated by professionals. It is also something that the church can minister to.

I haven't read far enough in the book to learn the author's recommendations for how the church can help. One thing I've often thought the church could do is to provide some day-care for adults. Many churches have day-care centers for children, but few have such ministry for adults. None in the area in which I live have such ministries.

Think how helpful it would be if a caregiver could get away for a few hours to relax, to shop, to work or do whatever needs to be done knowing that their loved one is safe. With the increasing numbers of people with dementia and Alzheimer's Disease such a ministry will be even more needed in the future.

Maybe a church would not have sufficient resources to offer such ministry, but most churches would have people who could spend time in the home with the individual while the caregiver does what he or she needs to do. These individuals could be taught some basic information about caring for persons with mental illnesses and then allowed to provide much needed ministry.

Churches could offer support groups for caregivers of those with mental illnesses. Caregivers often feel all along and confused about what is happening and how they can best respond. Such groups can address this and support them with their prayers and fellowship. Mental health experts can be brought in to talk to the caregivers to give them additional insights and tools.

There is much the church can do, and it's important that they recognize how needed this ministry is.

Pastors are not immune from mental health issues

Jarrid Wilson, an associate pastor in a mega-church in California, was a strong advocate for mental health. He began an organization to help promote good mental health and was very open about his own struggle with depression. On Monday evening he took his life.

Sometimes people think that ministers are immune from the challenges that affects others. We're not. We struggle with the same physical and emotional problems that others battle. Too often we keep these battles private afraid or ashamed to share them openly in fear that people will think less of us. Sometimes that leads to preventable tragedy.

From news accounts I've read Wilson did not keep his battle with depression private. He was open about his struggles in his books, his sermons and on social media.

I've shared my own battle with depression in this blog, in my books, in pastor conferences I've led and in sermons. Unlike some others, my depression did not include thoughts of suicide, but it did take me into some dark times. I can't recall a time when I was open about my struggle with depression that someone didn't come to me thanking me for the hope I gave them. I pray I will never go through such a time like that again, but I am thankful that my experience has brought hope to others who were going through it.

For a year I met weekly with a Christian counselor and took medication for depression. Some Christians still believe that counseling and medication for emotional issues show a sign of weakness or a lack of faith. These same people think nothing of taking an aspirin for a headache or insulin for diabetes. There is no difference. Physical and emotional illnesses are just that...illnesses. Along with prayer we should avail ourselves of everything that can help us overcome any illness we might encounter. I'm thankful that I could see a Christian counselor who could help me understand what was happening to me and a doctor who prescribed the best medicine for my condition. Both helped speed my recovery and perhaps prevented something worse.

As a judicatory minister serving a number of churches I met pastors I was convinced were clinically depressed. I always pointed out my concern to them and encouraged them to see a doctor. I'm not sure any of them did. With one pastor's permission I shared my concern with his wife. With tears running down her face she nodded her head in agreement. She knew he was depressed. So did he. The last I knew he had done nothing about it. I think I know his reasons. None of them are valid.

The ministry can be a lonely place. It can become even lonelier when we are battling emotional and mental illnesses. It is during such times that we cannot afford to cut ourselves off from those who can help us. We need someone to talk to, someone who will love us despite what is going on inside us. We need people we can call when our thoughts threaten to overwhelm us.

We also need to talk about this from the pulpit. Struggling with emotional and mental illnesses doesn't make one less of a Christian. It doesn't demonstrate a lack of faith. There is nothing evil about seeking help from counselors or doctors for these kinds of problems. Rather than judging someone struggling with these issues this is a time for the church to gather around the individual to help love him or her back to health.

It's also a time for the church to gather around the family. This is a rough time for them as well as for the one struggling with the problem. I know my depression brought a lot of difficult times for my family. They struggled to understand what was happening to me and my year-long recovery had numerous setbacks that were difficult for everyone. The church needs to walk through this valley with the family to assure them that they are not alone in this.

Suicide

A leader in our community took his life last week. Although we are in a small community, our local newspaper recently reported that we average about one suicide each week. Various groups, including the ministerial association, have been addressing the problem, but so far that figure seems to be holding steady.

I did not know this leader so I know nothing of his life, his faith, or the reasons he decided to end his life. I would assume he was carrying some pain that he no longer felt he could live with. The problem is that suicide does not end the pain. It merely transfers it to other people: family, friends, other loved ones. I've heard several who knew him question whether there was anything they could have done to have prevented this. There is little anyone can do if a person is determined to end his or her life.

After a major stroke my mother attempted to end her life several times. She could never give a reason why except to say that she was tired of living with the limitations she had as a result of the stroke. Once, her counselor called to tell me that she felt Mom was suicidal again. We had her admitted to a hospital until the doctors felt that had passed.

Many pastors serve churches in which family members have lost loved ones to suicide. Occasionally, I hear ministers announce suicide is the unforgivable sin as the one who ends his or her life cannot ask God's forgiveness. This not only reflects very poor theology; it also brings tremendous pain to those whose loved ones ended their lives.

How should pastors address suicide? The first thing is to learn as much as they can about the causes of suicide. As they talk to members of their churches they need to be watching for signs that the person may be considering this step. Such warning signs are not always apparent, but many times they are. Mom's counselor could not tell me that Mom was going to attempt suicide, but she could tell me that she detected signs that she was considering it again. Learn those signs.

The second thing is to develop a good understanding of the grace of God. Is our salvation based upon our asking forgiveness for every sin or is it based on what Christ did for us on the cross? If it is based on our being forgiven for every sin, we are all in trouble because I doubt that anyone asks forgiveness every time they sin.

The third thing is to talk about suicide. We need to let people know there are alternative ways of dealing with the pain in their lives, and that suicide is not the answer. Don't be afraid to address it in sermons and Bible studies. Have it as a topic in a small group. Ask someone qualified to do so to host a recovery group for persons who have lost loved ones to suicide.  Work with other area churches and mental health leaders to host a community-wide workshop on preventing suicide in your community. There are many things you can do. Decide what will work best in your community.