Wednesday, March 27, 2024

Dealing with unrealistic expectations in ministry

 The first of the Four Spiritual Laws reads that "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life." Someone has changed that to read, "God loves you and everybody has a wonderful plan for your life." This is especially true for those us serving in ministry. Your church may have a job description for the pastor, but if you are serving in a church of 100 people there are 100 different job descriptions you are expected to meet. We seldom get into trouble for not meeting the official job description, but many pastors have got into trouble by not meeting the other 100.

In yesterday's post I addressed the need for pastors to find balance in their ministries and their personal lives. But, how does one do that with so many expectations that people have for their pastor? When some of these expectations are unrealistic it makes it even more difficult.

As a young pastor I struggled to tell anyone no. That got me in a lot of trouble. I was soon like a stray dog at a whistler's convention. I didn't know where to go or what to do next. Eventually, I became better at telling people no. I couldn't attend every event people wanted me to attend. I couldn't make every visit someone thought I should make. Some requests made no sense. Our small, rural church had a Sunday morning and evening service. About 55 attended the morning service, around 12-15 came on Sunday night. A lady asked about starting a Wednesday night service, and I told her we would not do that until the evening service attendance matched the morning attendance. She responded that we would probably never have a Wednesday night service, and I told her she was probably right.

Some readers might think that serving a church of 55 people shouldn't have been that much of a deal, but at the time I was bivocational working full-time in a factory and working on my college degree. It was a big deal if I wanted to maintain any sense of balance in my life.

Where do these unofficial job descriptions come from? Somewhere in these person's lives a minister met those expectations, and it was assumed that all ministers would in the future. Dr. Phil says that we teach people how to treat us. I believe it's true. When we agree to something that is outside the boundaries of what we should be doing we are creating expectations, not only for our future but also for the future pastors who will serve there. 

Every pastor will have people come with ideas for new ministries. They usually want the pastor to lead these ministries. What many pastors now do is to affirm the idea and suggest that since God has given them the idea for this ministry they are the best person to lead it. Our role is to equip and resource you (Eph. 4). Then ask, how can I help you get this started. You will often find that these folks will really run with this, and your church will have a new ministry that is being led by someone else.

Our challenge in many traditional churches is that the members were brought up at a time when the pastor did lead everything in the church. We have to begin to correct this wrong concept of ministry. Our role is to equip and resource, not lead everything. Our members will never become disciples if they are only expected to sit and give. We have to teach them that God has called them to do ministry, and our role is to help them in that endeavor. If we do this well, we will change the expectations that people have for the pastor and help prepare the church for a more healthy future.

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