When helping hurts

This is the time of year that many churches have Angel Trees and do other things so church members can give gifts to those who might not receive them otherwise. Food baskets will be distributed to those who might not have a good Christmas meal. Many church offices will receive numerous phone calls from people requesting assistance. Some of these individuals will call every church in town. When the gifts and food are given out everyone feels good about what has been done, but how much good has actually been accomplished? While we should celebrate the fact that a child has a Christmas gift he or she might not have had otherwise and that a family had a good, nutritious meal, we also need to take a look at the long-term effect that much of our charity work has on people. A book that has been very helpful to me on this subject is When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty Without Hurting the Poor . . . and Yourself by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert.

They write, "Consider the familiar case of the person who comes to your church asking for help with paying an electric bill. On the surface, it appears this person's problem is. . .a lack of material resources, and many churches respond by giving this person enough money to pay the electric bill. But what if this person's fundamental problem is not having the self-discipline to keep a stable job? Simply giving this person money is treating the symptoms rather than the underlying disease and will enable him to continue with his lack of self-discipline." The writers explain, "A better - and far more costly - solution would be for your church to develop a relationship with this person, a relationship that says, 'We are here to walk with you and to help you use your gifts and abilities to avoid being in this situation in the future. Let us into your life and let us work with you to determine the reason you are in this predicament.'"

The writers are right. This approach would be far more costly than paying a bill. It would involve time, often a lot of time, to earn the trust of the individual seeking help that would allow us access into their lives. Resistance, and even hostility, are likely to be present when we begin to identify some of the underlying issues that have created their financial problems. People who have learned to be dependent upon others often struggle to take responsibility for their own actions and choices. This will require them to learn new ways of thinking and new ways of behavior which will also take time for them to learn.

There is another cost often not considered. It is the cost of saying no to people who ask for help. There are some who have no interest in changing their lives, their way of thinking or their behavior. They want to persist in their sins and dysfunctions and expect others to meet their material needs. At that point the church needs to realize that it is not being loving by enabling such behavior. The writers point out that "the loving thing to do is to allow them to feel the burden of their choice in hopes that this will trigger positive change." It is important to point out to those in this situation that they are the ones refusing help due to their unwillingness to make the changes in their lives they need to make.

Churches have an obligation to help the poor. Jesus made this very clear as He spoke of giving a cup of cold water in His name. At the same time, our help should go beyond meeting the material needs. In order to truly help these individuals we need to enter into a relationship with them, assist them in identifying the underlying factors that have caused their financial distress, and find ways to help them overcome these factors so they can become responsible for meeting their own needs in the future.

As a result of that relationship we will also have the opportunity to share the importance of having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ if they do not already have such a relationship. Along with helping them meet their material needs we also need to be addressing their spiritual needs as well. In so doing we will be truly helping them.