The pastor and counseling

One of the lessons I learned fairly early as a pastor was that I was not a counselor. One of the reasons I decided to go to a Bible college was because I thought I could learn to be a better counselor only I found out they didn't offer instruction in counseling. Fortunately, I learned enough other things there that made up for it.

Still, I tried to counsel people when they came asking for counseling. The premarital counseling went pretty good, and I was comfortable doing that. But when it came to counseling people for serious problems, I was not good at all. It was during a session with a couple with a troubled marriage when I realized I couldn't help these people. I wasn't trained to provide the in-depth care they needed. When we met for our second session I explained to the couple that I wanted to be the best pastor to them I could, and for me to do that I needed to refer them to someone trained to help them work through their marriage issues. I assured them I would provide pastoral care, but I could not provide counseling. I recommended a Christian counseling service with which I was familiar and told the couple that after their first visit with a counselor there to call me to set up a meeting to talk about how they felt it went. I never got that call.

Many of us in pastoral ministry have never received any training as counselors, or if we did it was likely very introductory training. It certainly was not enough for us to consider ourselves trained in the best methods of counseling, and I would imagine that even fewer would have continued that training as counselors to keep up on the latest developments in the field. Without that expertise we do those who come to us a disservice.

A training program our region offered included a pastoral track for bivocational ministers. Nearly every year someone would ask when we were going to offer a course on counseling. I would remind everyone that our courses were all introductory in nature. Each course consisted of four six-hour classes. That is hardly enough time to train someone to counsel others.

If I was a pastor moving into a new community some of the first people I would want to meet would be the counselors who serve that community. I would want to find out the counseling they specialize in: marriage difficulties, addictions, depression and anxiety, etc. I would want to know their fees and if they offer sliding fees for those who need financial help to receive counseling. I would certainly want to know their attitudes towards persons of faith. Some in the counseling field are likely to blame any problems a person has on their religious beliefs. I would ask about their education. After learning as much as I could I would make a list of the ones I could be comfortable referring people to.

Many churches expect their pastors to provide counseling. I occasionally look at job descriptions listed on pastoral search sites where it will state that the pastor is to provide counseling. If I was candidating at that church I would make clear that I would do not long-term counseling but I would refer persons to qualified counselors while I continued to offer pastoral care to the individual. If that is not acceptable to the church it's better to find that out before you accept the position.

Besides referral, there is another thing a church could do. It could offer a counseling center a space in their building for a counselor to work out of perhaps one day a week. I've seen churches do this. Churches with the financial means to do so might pay a portion of the fees their members might incur during counseling. One caution, absolute confidentiality would have to be maintained from those who might be working in the church when people came for counseling. A separate entrance near the space might be used to help assure that confidentiality.

People seek counseling for a host of issues and problems today, many of which are outside the realm of a pastor's training and expertise. In order to provide the best pastoral care it is mandatory that we seek to refer these individuals to people with the training and skills to help them. We can offer pastoral care and support, we can pray for them and encourage them from the Scriptures, but sometimes that is not enough to help them through some issues with deep roots. That is when we need to send them to someone who can walk with them through the healing process they need.