Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Leaders need thick hides

Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin has been controversial from the beginning alienating many of the people he hopes will re-elect him to a second term. In perhaps one of his strangest moves is to criticize the popular coach of the Louisville women's basketball team for losing to the University of Connecticut in the NCAA tournament. His criticism came after the coach had commented on Twitter that Bevin had congratulated UK men's team for making the Elite Eight but had ignored the U of L women's team who were also playing in the Elite Eight. Bevin said if the coach had been more focused on coaching the team instead of criticizing him on Twitter he might not have been outcoached costing U of L the game.

There are many things I think President Trump has done well since being elected. However, one thing that constantly frustrates me is that he can't keep from attacking people in interviews and on social media. If anyone says anything negative about him he has to find a way to attack them either by name-calling or by making some disparaging remark about them. Perhaps one of his most outrageous personal attacks was made against Senator John McCain that continued even after the Senator had passed away. While the two never cared much for the other, there was no reason to continue the public animosity after McCain died.

What the president and the governor share in common is that both are rather thin-skinned. They cannot stand to be criticized or even questioned by people who disagree with them. There is something in their egos that demands they are always right, and anyone who opposes them are their enemies who must be put in their place. This is hardly a good quality for anyone in leadership.

Unfortunately, I have known pastors who shared the same problem. If anyone questioned a decision they made they saw it as a personal attack and responded in similar fashion. That never ends well for a pastor or the church. If you are in leadership there are going to be people who are going to question and oppose some of the things you do. People will say unkind and unfair things about you. They will question your motives and even your character. Without a thick skin one will not do well in ministry or any other leadership position.

Does this mean that a leader should just accept whatever people say about him or her? No. There is nothing wrong with responding to some attacks, especially if they are character related. It's how we respond to those attacks that are important. To stoop to the same level as some who will attack us only gets us down to their level. It does nothing to alleviate the situation and will probably make it worse. It also makes it difficult for our supporters to defend us. Some of Bevin's and Trump's supporters wish they would just be quiet for once rather than lashing out at every real or imagined slight.

Debating issues is fine; making disparaging remarks about our opponents is not. Only thin-skinned people make such remarks as a way to win their fights.

If you are going to pastor a church or be in any leadership position, develop a thick skin. It's not a matter if someone will challenge you; it's only a matter of when it will happen. Before it does, resolve in your mind to not receive the challenge as a personal attack, even if it is, and resolve how you to will respond to it. Your leadership will grow if you can do this.

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