Do you want to be made well?

"Do you want to be made well?"  This was the question Jesus asked the man at the pool who complained he had been there thirty-eight years waiting to be made well when the angel would stir the waters.  His complaint was that he had no one to help him when he needed to get into the water and others would get in the pool before him and receive their healing.  Jesus' question seems on the surface to be confusing.  One would think that if the man had been there that long to be healed that he surely wanted to be made well.  However, that is not always the case.

In my pastoral ministry I met many people who seemed addicted to dysfunction.  Married couples argue for years over the same issues, often minor ones, and never seem to be able to get beyond them to enjoy a much more satisfying marriage.  They go to marriage counselors, pastors, and others for help, but soon return to the negative behaviors that define their relationship.  Individuals remain trapped in circumstances, often of their own choosing, and do nothing constructive to change those circumstances.  An individual told me one morning that her life had never been better only to call that same night complaining about some perceived slight.  As she raged on about the most minuscule issue I finally stopped her and said, "Your problem is that you have been so unhappy for so long that you don't know how to do happy.  When things begin to go positive for you, you look for things to get upset about."

Such people are very difficult to help because their lives are defined by their problems.  If their problems were solved they would have nothing to talk about.  Even if you help them resolve one problem another one will soon appear.  It's like trying to plug a leak in the dam with your finger.  You can expect another leak to soon appear, and eventually you run out of fingers.

Of course, none of their problems are their fault.  "They did this to me, and they did that to me," is the refrain you hear over and over from people I call perpetual victims.  This does not discount the fact that some people have had very difficult lives and have been victimized by others, but there comes a time when each of us have to take responsibility for ourselves and accept the fact that we do not have to allow others to define us any longer.  Maybe the past was harmed by others, but who will be in charge of the future?  Those who want to be made well will take control of their future and make the decisions that will lead to a better life for themselves and those they love.

All of this is true of churches as well.  In 30+ years of ministry I have seen many dysfunctional churches.  I have worked with some as part of conflict mediation teams and have taken recommendations back from the teams after we've met with people in the church.  The churches that want to be made well will try to implement many of the recommendations we make.  Those that prefer their dysfunction ignore those recommendations.  They talk about wanting to be healthy, but they are unwilling to do anything to become healthy.  Such churches continue to fight amongst themselves squandering any opportunity to have a positive presence in their community.

You, your family, and your church all have the opportunity to be made well, but you must take responsibility for any healing you may need.  You have to take charge of your life, your family, and your church and make the decisions that will lead to a better tomorrow.  Some of those decisions may be painful in the short-term, but they will produce a must more positive future than if you continue to do what you've been doing.  The good news is that it is God's will for you, your family, and your church to be healthy.  God will help you overcome the past if that is needed, but you have to decide that is what you want to happen, and He will lead you into better decisions if you ask Him for the wisdom to do that.  So, the question is: Do you want to be made well?