It was a small congregation with about 50 people attending the morning worship service. It was my first time in this church although I had been with the pastor on several occasions. I arrived early and took a seat three rows from the front. Only one couple sat between me and the pulpit area. Several people smiled or nodded, and a few shook hands with me. Interestingly enough, not one person asked who I was, where I was from, or why I was at their church on this morning. About 7-8 minutes prior to the service the pastor came from the back area into the sanctuary and started speaking to various people. He walked past me three times without ever acknowledging my presence.
As one of the leaders in our judicatory I am usually introduced to the congregation whenever I visit one of our churches, but this morning nothing was said about my presence. When the service ended people started leaving fairly quickly. As I neared the entrance where the pastor was standing another gentleman asked my name. When I told him who I was the pastor heard me and responded, "I'm sorry I didn't introduce you to the congregation, but I didn't recognize you." It had been a couple of years since we had seen one another so I could accept that, but what wasn't acceptable was that this pastor had a guest in the church who he did not recognize and made no attempt to do so.
When I arrived home after the service I told my wife about what had happened. I ended the story by saying, "I guess the congregation was playing "Follow the leader" because they did exactly what he did. They made no effort to find out who the visitor was in their church that day.
I wish I could say this was an isolated incident, but it's not. I spend a lot of time working with smaller churches, and nearly all of them complain about their inability to grow and reach new people. The problem is many of them don't know what to do when they do have guests. That may also be why they don't have more guests. In his book Fusion: Turning First-Time Guests into Fully-Engaged Members of Your Church
Nelson Searcy asks, "Why would God send new people to a church that is not ready to welcome and nurture them?" I think it is a great question that explains why so many of our churches see so few guests. I also believe this is the best book I've ever read on the subject of how to be prepared to properly prepare for first-time guests at your church and the steps to take to encourage them to return.Again, the pastor must take the lead in this. If he or she does not welcome guests properly it is likely that the church will not either. If the pastor does not train people how to properly follow-up with first-time guests, the odds are good the church will not see those people return. Any church that is serious about wanting to reach new people must be equally serious about being prepared to receive them when they do come. Searcy's book is a great tool to help in such preparation. I've also developed a workshop based on many of the principles he writes about in the book and on some other material I've gathered over the years. This workshop has been presented at several pastor leadership and church events.
We live in a time in which it is difficult to get people to visit our churches at all. Let's be sure we don't make their first visit their last because of our lack of preparation
2 comments:
My daughter while at college attended a church in Illinois for nine months. It breaks my heart to say this, but during that nine months she was not approached to find out her name, her address, why she was there, or for any other purpose. Even the pastor and his staff did not attempt to reach out to her. When she continued her schooling in Michigan she decided to try again. The very first Sunday she went to the church a couple in their 50's greeted her, introduced her to people, and afterwards took her out to eat. It made all the difference. Even now, I start to tear up when thinking about the difference between those two churches. They were both, indeed, following the examples of their pastors. (BTW, Nelson Searcy's books have been of great help in my own ministry. Highly recommended!)
Ray, your story is not uncommon. It is a sad indictment of our churches when so often even our leadership makes no effort to build relationships with those who visit our churches. We wonder why so many people have little interest in churches, and, in my opinion, this is one of the factors. People long to connect with others and build relationships, and many of our churches are so ingrown we cannot do that.
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