You don't have a problem; you have a decision to make

You don't have a problem; you have a decision to make.  I don't remember the first time I heard that, but I do remember it was at a time when I was struggling with a problem.  I wasn't very happy when I heard this because this was something I already knew, but I didn't want to make the decision.  I had put off making a decision that I knew needed to be made because I was secretly hoping the problem would take care of itself.  It didn't.  In fact, like most problems left to themselves, this one grew bigger while I hesitated doing what I knew needed to be done.  Eventually, I did make the required decision, and within a very short time things improved dramatically. 

One of the criticisms I often received as a younger leader was that I refused to make timely decisions.  You might remember that Bill Clinton was often criticized for the same thing during his first term.  His critics claimed that he required too much information before he could make a decision.  I tend to be the same way, plus I struggled with wanting to please everyone.  It took me awhile to learn that, #1 a leader will never have enough information and, #2 regardless of what I did I would never please everyone.  Leadership is about making decisions based upon the information you do have.  If you get different information later you can adjust your decision, but at least you'll be moving forward.

I often get phone calls from pastors and lay people who want to talk about problems they have in their churches.  Some of these problems have been brewing for months or longer.  Others are fairly recent.  In virtually every case they remain problems because people do not want to make tough decisions.

A woman called to complain that their pastor no longer wore suits when he preached.  She was also unhappy about the dress of some of the lay leaders.  She told me how distressed this made her feel and that going to church was becoming quite a struggle.  I asked if the majority of the congregation felt like she did or if they accepted the more casual dress of their leadership.  She admitted very few felt like she did.  At that time I told her she probably needed to find another church to attend so she could enjoy the worship experience once again. She sounded a little disappointed, and I think she was hoping I would take her side and tell the pastor he needed to start wearing suits again.  She didn't have a problem; she had to decide if she wanted to continue attending that church or to begin the search for another one.

A church board called asking to meet with me to discuss some behavior problems the church had with two families.  In our meeting they explained that these families consistently created problems that caused their newer members to leave within a short period of time.  I asked what they were going to do about it.  Stunned, they insisted they couldn't do anything.  I replied, "Then live with it."  I explained they had already told me two families were driving people from the church.  As the leaders of that church they could decide who stayed and who left.  They needed to decide if they wanted to keep dysfunctional people who had been creating problems in their church for years or if they wanted to keep the new Christians they were reaching.  At that point I left the meeting.  Over the next few weeks they confronted these families about their behavior.  Both got angry, left, and the church has continued to grow.  They just need to make a decision.

Following a business meeting to which I had been invited about two dozen members of a larger church surrounded me complaining about their church and its leadership.  One of their complaints had to do with the amount of money the church spent on youth activities.  They specifically mentioned one recent expenditure of several hundred dollars for one activity.  I then asked how many young people were coming to Christ in that church.  I already knew this church was reaching many of the youth and their families in that community.  They didn't answer.  I then told them that I knew of several churches in that area that would not spend that much money on their youth for an entire year, and that they might be happier attending one of those churches.  Most of them left that church within a few weeks.  That growing church soon replaced them and continues to grow today.

Most of the problems that exist in our churches are the result of leaders refusing to make the decisions that need to be made.  We waste too much time worrying about upsetting the controllers and others who think the church exists for them.  We fear they might leave if we make a decision that they won't agree with.  So what?  Let them leave.  I think it was Rick Warren who once wrote that God had called us to be fishers of men, not corrallers of old goats.  It's time we in church leadership become willing to make the tough decisions that will resolve many of our problems so we can concentrate on our real purpose which is to reach people with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.