The long-term pastor

 One of the best statements about pastoral ministry I've heard or read came from H. B. London, Jr. He wrote that if you are serving in a good, strong church it's because someone stayed there and made the church that way. If you are serving in a church that is not so good or strong, perhaps God is calling you "for such a time as this." He has you there that you might build it into a better church. I believe there is much wisdom in those words.

I served my first church for 20 years before accepting a call to our Region staff. Before I went to the church, the average pastoral tenure over several years was 12 months. That was the average! The church was not healthy when I went there. I was told later than the church had considered closing but decided to try one more pastor. Perhaps if I had known that before I went I would have reconsidered going there, but I'm glad I didn't because those 20 years were some of the best years of my life.

Virtually every study done on strong churches find that they have had long-term pastoral leadership. The pastor had planted roots in the church and community. People came to trust his leadership. He or she had built relationships with members of the congregation. The pastor and congregation truly loved one another, shared a common vision and worked together to fulfill that vision.

This does not happen in churches with revolving-door pastorates. When a church has pastors who leave every 2-3 years they begin to wonder what's wrong with them. A low self-esteem can begin which limits what the church believes it can do. It doesn't take long before a new pastor picks up on that belief causing him or her to begin searching for another church. Nothing changes until a pastor decides to stay and move the church out of the negative rut they are in. It will be a slow process, and many pastors will decide it's not worth the trouble. But, those who stay and begin to rebuild the church will find that all the trouble and pain was well worth it.

Some pastors will retire after a 40 year ministry, but when they look back they will find they didn't have a 40 year ministry; they had 10 four year ministries and never really accomplished very much. How much better it might be if they had invested those 40 years in just one or two churches. 

Easter Sunday

 I want to invite everyone who does not have a church home to join us at North Madison Baptist Church, 1906 Orchard Street, Madison, IN for our Easter service. Our worship service begins at 10:30. The Bible is clear that the resurrection of Jesus Christ is the foundation of the Christian faith. It is no surprise that Satan has done everything possible to cause people to doubt that Jesus rose from the grave. In my message I will prove why it is reasonable to believe in His resurrection and why it matters. We would love to see you.

Dealing with unrealistic expectations in ministry

 The first of the Four Spiritual Laws reads that "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life." Someone has changed that to read, "God loves you and everybody has a wonderful plan for your life." This is especially true for those us serving in ministry. Your church may have a job description for the pastor, but if you are serving in a church of 100 people there are 100 different job descriptions you are expected to meet. We seldom get into trouble for not meeting the official job description, but many pastors have got into trouble by not meeting the other 100.

In yesterday's post I addressed the need for pastors to find balance in their ministries and their personal lives. But, how does one do that with so many expectations that people have for their pastor? When some of these expectations are unrealistic it makes it even more difficult.

As a young pastor I struggled to tell anyone no. That got me in a lot of trouble. I was soon like a stray dog at a whistler's convention. I didn't know where to go or what to do next. Eventually, I became better at telling people no. I couldn't attend every event people wanted me to attend. I couldn't make every visit someone thought I should make. Some requests made no sense. Our small, rural church had a Sunday morning and evening service. About 55 attended the morning service, around 12-15 came on Sunday night. A lady asked about starting a Wednesday night service, and I told her we would not do that until the evening service attendance matched the morning attendance. She responded that we would probably never have a Wednesday night service, and I told her she was probably right.

Some readers might think that serving a church of 55 people shouldn't have been that much of a deal, but at the time I was bivocational working full-time in a factory and working on my college degree. It was a big deal if I wanted to maintain any sense of balance in my life.

Where do these unofficial job descriptions come from? Somewhere in these person's lives a minister met those expectations, and it was assumed that all ministers would in the future. Dr. Phil says that we teach people how to treat us. I believe it's true. When we agree to something that is outside the boundaries of what we should be doing we are creating expectations, not only for our future but also for the future pastors who will serve there. 

Every pastor will have people come with ideas for new ministries. They usually want the pastor to lead these ministries. What many pastors now do is to affirm the idea and suggest that since God has given them the idea for this ministry they are the best person to lead it. Our role is to equip and resource you (Eph. 4). Then ask, how can I help you get this started. You will often find that these folks will really run with this, and your church will have a new ministry that is being led by someone else.

Our challenge in many traditional churches is that the members were brought up at a time when the pastor did lead everything in the church. We have to begin to correct this wrong concept of ministry. Our role is to equip and resource, not lead everything. Our members will never become disciples if they are only expected to sit and give. We have to teach them that God has called them to do ministry, and our role is to help them in that endeavor. If we do this well, we will change the expectations that people have for the pastor and help prepare the church for a more healthy future.

Balancing the work of ministry

I sometimes like to tell people that pastors are invisible six days a week and incomprehensible on the seventh. It usually gets a laugh, but it does point out something very real about pastoral ministry. Many people do not know what we do, and this makes it very easy for a pastor to fall into two errors.

One is pastors can become rather lazy. As a resource minister with our judicatory I once had a pastor who played golf 4-5 days a week. He couldn't understand why people in the church had a problem with that. I finally told him one day that he needed to decide if God had called him into ministry or if he should get his PGA pro card. He left that church in less than a year and took a position as an associate pastor in another church. At a seminar one day his senior pastor confided to me that he could not get that young man to do anything without being told. I told him his associate was like an old Harley-Davidson. You had to kick start him to get him going.

This young man is an extreme example, but it is easy to let pastoral duties slide. Most of the time people do not know where you are or what you are doing. They assume you are ministering somewhere to someone, but nobody really knows. This can be true for those of us who have been in ministry for some time. The old sermon barrel can look pretty comforting even though those old sermons may not really be applicable today for your church. Some of those old messages can be repeated, and some of them probably shouldn't have been preached in the first place, but using them saves a lot of time in preparing a new message.

The other extreme are those pastors who work too much. A fully-funded pastor can easily work 50-60 hours a week, and some work more than that. Once you exceed that 50 hour mark you are probably sacrificing time that should be spent elsewhere...like maybe with your family. I realize that some weeks may require more hours than that. There are unexpected events such as hospitalizations and funerals that can take more time in a given week, but when pastors regularly schedule too many hours on their calendar, there is a problem.

When I served as a pastor I scheduled family time on my calendar. A date night with my wife was a weekly occurrence, and it was written on my calendar. If someone wanted me to do something during that time I told them I already had an appointment for then. There was never a problem. If a true emergency came up, then we would reschedule the date, but this seldom happened. I had set times for reading and sermon preparation, and I tried to protect those times from those who just wanted to see the pastor for a few minutes. (Have you ever noticed that people who have nothing to do want to do it with you?)

Every pastor needs to find a balance in his or her ministry. We have been called by God to an exciting, fulfilling task, but it is not a task that should consume our every waking minute. Even Jesus took time to go off by Himself and rest and pray. Many pastors could have avoided burnout if they had just created more balance in their lives and ministries.

Leading change in a small church

I told our congregation recently that no one likes change except a wet baby. They all laughed because it's a funny line and because it's true. Congregations do not like change, and neither does the pastor for that matter. Change is often hard and always challenging. It's easier to keep doing what makes everyone comfortable, but this seldom leads to growth. People do not grow by doing what they've always done and neither do churches. When pastors serve a church that is change-resistant or has not experienced any change in a long time, what is the best way to proceed?  S-l-o-w-l-y.

This a challenge for me. Patience is not one of my spiritual gifts, but I have learned that anything important that needs to change in a church will take much longer than I think it should. Some pastors get too far ahead of their congregations which can lead to an early exit.

One important thing to remember when leading change is to start small and let the church get some wins under their belt. When that small change is accomplished, celebrate before moving on to the next challenge.

In my first church we needed to do something that would cost the church about $1,600.00. The church did not have that much money so we began raising the funds for the project. It took us a year to raise $1,600.00, but we were able to do the project. The congregation felt good about their success so we were ready to move on to the next project that needed done. Guess what, that one would also cost &1,600.00. We were able to raise it in about 9 months. Now we had two small victories that we could build on which we did. More changes were introduced into the church, most of which were successful leading to a more positive image the church had of itself.

Notice I said most changes were successful. Some of the ones we attempted failed, but because we had more victories than losses, those losses did not have a negative impact on the church. We were able to look at it as an effort to change something that didn't work without feeling defeated.

The second thing to remember when introducing change is to create a sense of urgency. Failing to create a sense of urgency is one of the major reasons most change efforts fail. There must be a reason for the change, and the more urgent the reason the more likely the church will support it. If there is no urgency, it becomes easier to put it on the back burner for another time.

Change does not have to have an negative impact on a church. When properly presented pastors often find their people are not as change-resistant as they might have thought.

 

The permission giving church

For too long there has been a disconnect in many churches regarding ministry. It has long been thought that the ordained minister in the church is the minister. Every ministry was done by the trained professional while the congregation watched, took notes and made sure the minister knew when he or she had failed. However, that is not the biblical understanding of ministry. Ephesians 4 makes it clear that the congregation is called to do ministry, and the ministerial staff's role is to equip them to do ministry. For this to occur, the congregation must be given permission to do ministry.

Here is how this would work in the ideal church. A member of the church would feel that a specific ministry was needed. Perhaps it would be a ministry to unwed mothers, or single mothers or to those caught up in addictions. In a permission giving church, this member would discuss this with the pastor or staff who would then help that member begin such a ministry. Maybe this specific ministry has never been done in the church before, but that doesn't matter. If the person presenting the ministry has the spiritual gifts and the passion for the ministry, then he or she must be given permission to begin that ministry. The pastor's role then, according to Eph. 4, is to equip and resource this individual.

Think of the impact this mindset could have on the church. New ministries could begin in the church that are lay-led by people who feel a passion for the ministry. How might this impact the growth of the church? More importantly, how might this impact the growth of the Kingdom of God?

One of our responsibilities as pastors is to help people identify their spiritual giftedness. Many believers cannot tell you how God has gifted them for ministry. There are many resources that can be used to help them identify their gifts. Once those gifts have been identified, the next question has to do with their passions. What would they like to do in ministry? What gets them excited? When the giftedness and passion match needs in the community, they can be encouraged to begin their ministries.

Some pastors will feel threatened by this. Having been trained in seminary that they are the minister, some pastors will not want to give up ministry to untrained lay-people. Perhaps they will make mistakes. So what? I don't know any pastor who has done everything perfectly in his or her ministry, so why not give permission to our laypeople to make mistakes as well. My guess is that they will make fewer mistakes if we are faithful in our equipping roles.

I encourage every pastor reading this post to begin challenging your people to pray about how they can best serve God. I like to remind people that their baptism was their ordination to ministry. Let's quit simply asking people to serve on various committees in the church and begin asking them to consider how God has gifted them for ministry and what they feel passionate about. Let's encourage them to work in those areas of giftedness and passion. 

The pastor's family

When I began my pastoral ministry in 1981 I met with an older pastor in our association. He was telling me about some of his experiences in ministry. One that he struggled with was his relationship with his family. He said his children seldom came to see him because he had ignored them so much while doing ministry. He further admitted that his wife nearly had a nervous breakdown, and he wasn't even aware of it until later. His pastoral work took precedence over his family.

Sometime later I was sitting before an ordination council. This pastor was on that council. A question was asked about my ministry/family priorities, and I explained that my family would come first. He challenged that comment which was confusing to me. He had admitted several months earlier the decisions he had made concerning his family and the negative impact they had on his relationship with his family, and now he is suggesting I should make the same decisions!

Years ago pastors were often told by denominational leaders and others to focus on your ministry, and God would take care of your family. IMHO, that is one of the dumbest things I ever heard. Scripture is clear that if one does not provide for his family he is worse than an infidel. Nothing in that passage says anything about pastors being excluded.

Your church has probably had many pastors before you, and if the Lord tarries, it will likely have many pastors after you. But, you are the only husband or wife your spouse has. You are the only father or mother your children have. You have an obligation before God to meet the needs of your family. One statement I have often made to pastor groups and to churches is that I will not sacrifice my family on the altar of ministerial success.

Part of this is that I have never placed expectations on members of my family because I was a minister. When my kids were growing up I told them that they did not have behave a certain way because I was a pastor; they should do the right thing because it was the right thing. When one church commented that my wife would be the head of the church's mission circle, I told them she would not. My wife prefers to not be in leadership roles, and part of my responsibility is to protect her from the expectations of others. She is free to serve, or not to serve, in any area of church life she wants.

Churches can place unrealistic expectations on the families of their pastors. We cannot allow that to happen. When beginning a new ministry, the minister needs to make it very clear to the church the roles his or her family will play in the church.