Is your church ready to receive guests?

A few days ago I posted on this blog how critical it is that leaders model the behavior they want to see from those who follow them.  This is especially true when the leader is trying to introduce change into a church or another organization.  However, it is also true when the leader is trying to create a church culture.  As I thought about the recent post on this matter I was reminded of a church I visited earlier this year.

It was a small congregation with about 50 people attending the morning worship service.  It was my first time in this church although I had been with the pastor on several occasions.  I arrived early and took a seat three rows from the front.  Only one couple sat between me and the pulpit area.  Several people smiled or nodded, and a few shook hands with me.  Interestingly enough, not one person asked who I was, where I was from, or why I was at their church on this morning.  About 7-8 minutes prior to the service the pastor came from the back area into the sanctuary and started speaking to various people.  He walked past me three times without ever acknowledging my presence.

As one of the leaders in our judicatory I am usually introduced to the congregation whenever I visit one of our churches, but this morning nothing was said about my presence.  When the service ended people started leaving fairly quickly.  As I neared the entrance where the pastor was standing another gentleman asked my name.  When I told him who I was the pastor heard me and responded, "I'm sorry I didn't introduce you to the congregation, but I didn't recognize you."  It had been a couple of years since we had seen one another so I could accept that, but what wasn't acceptable was that this pastor had a guest in the church who he did not recognize and made no attempt to do so.

When I arrived home after the service I told my wife about what had happened.  I ended the story by saying, "I guess the congregation was playing "Follow the leader" because they did exactly what he did.  They made no effort to find out who the visitor was in their church that day.

I wish I could say this was an isolated incident, but it's not.  I spend a lot of time working with smaller churches, and nearly all of them complain about their inability to grow and reach new people.  The problem is many of them don't know what to do when they do have guests.  That may also be why they don't have more guests.  In his book Fusion: Turning First-Time Guests into Fully-Engaged Members of Your Church Nelson Searcy asks, "Why would God send new people to a church that is not ready to welcome and nurture them?"  I think it is a great question that explains why so many of our churches see so few guests.  I also believe this is the best book I've ever read on the subject of how to be prepared to properly prepare for first-time guests at your church and the steps to take to encourage them to return.

Again, the pastor must take the lead in this.  If he or she does not welcome guests properly it is likely that the church will not either.  If the pastor does not train people how to properly follow-up with first-time guests, the odds are good the church will not see those people return.  Any church that is serious about wanting to reach new people must be equally serious about being prepared to receive them when they do come.  Searcy's book is a great tool to help in such preparation.  I've also developed a workshop based on many of the principles he writes about in the book and on some other material I've gathered over the years.  This workshop has been presented at several pastor leadership and church events.

We live in a time in which it is difficult to get people to visit our churches at all.  Let's be sure we don't make their first visit their last because of our lack of preparation

Walking the talk about change

In his excellent book, Leading at a Higher Level, Revised and Expanded Edition: Blanchard on Leadership and Creating High Performing Organizations, Ken Blanchard writes that "It is estimated that a leader's actions are at least three times as important as what he or she says...The minute that associates or colleagues sense that their leader is not committed or is acting inconsistently with the desired behaviors of the change, they will no longer commit themselves to the effort."  Leaders should always walk the talk, but it becomes even more critical to do so when their organization is going through a change.  Failing to do so eliminates any chance that others in the organization will be committed to the change process ensuring the failure of the change effort.

As I reflected on Blanchard's words I thought of the many churches that have attempted changes in the past few years and how many of those change efforts simply didn't go anywhere.  In some of the churches of which I am familiar at least part of that failure was the result of the leaders not demonstrating through their actions that they were committed to the change.  In some cases, it was the pastoral leadership while in other churches it was the lay leadership.  As the church members saw their leaders acting inconsistently with the changes being promoted they soon lost any interest in the change themselves.  Every organization will strongly attempt to return to what it knows throughout a change effort until that change becomes part of the DNA of the church, and if the leaders do not demonstrate a 100 percent commitment to the change through their actions that organization will return very quickly to its previous state.

I see the same thing happening in judicatories and denominations.  I regularly hear from bivocational pastors who tell me their judicatory leaders speak of their commitment to bivocational ministry, but their actions indicate that commitment is very limited.  Their judicatories offer no specific training for its bivocational leadership.  What training is offered usually occurs during the day when the bivocational ministers are at their other jobs.  There is little recognition of bivocational leadership in the official publications of the judicatory, and bivocational leadership is seldom showcased at the regular gatherings of the judicatory.

Many denominations are going through difficult times right now, and there is much talk of the need for significant changes to occur to help make these denominations more viable.  However, there often seems to be much more talk than action.  Boards are sometimes reduced to make them smaller and quicker to respond to the needs of their churches, but in reality there seems to be little difference in how these boards operate.  I doubt that a casual observer would say that they are responding any quicker now that they are smaller than when they were larger.  There are still the bureaucratic hoops to jump through.  Bylaws are not changed to make the boards more responsive to the rapid changes occurring in society.  It often appears that any changes that are occurring at the denominational level amounts to little more than re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.  No matter how the chairs are arranged, the ship is still going down, and no matter what surface changes these denominations make, people and churches are still becoming less and less dependent upon them.

Let me approach this issue from one more perspective: the family.  I cannot understand why parents criticize their children for the poor choices they make when those children have watched their parents make the same poor choices throughout their lives.  A single parent who lives with his or her lover should not be surprised when their child become sexually active.  That child is simply playing Follow the Leader.  A parent who spends time at the bar has no reason to complain when their child becomes involved in drugs.  A parent who lies to others should expect to have a child who will lie to the parent.  Children learn through observation, and if they see their parents engaged in activities that have no consequences they will be more likely to engage in those same activities.

It does not matter what type of organization you lead, as a leader it is critical that your walk matches your talk if you want others to take you seriously.  It you are trying to lead a change process in your organization, that match becomes even more critical or you will soon learn that no one is following you.  And, if you have no followers, then by definition you are no longer a leader.

Merry Christmas!

May God bless each of you this Christmas season and throughout the coming year.

What is your church doing to make disciples?

A few years ago I attended a meeting of leaders from different denominations.  During the meeting someone commented on the rapid growth of a church in one of the denominations represented.  The individual from that denomination admitted that particular church was growing in its worship attendance but the attendance in that church's Christian education program was declining at almost the same pace.  He explained it was the same problem many of their denominational churches was having, and his fear was that this would lead to serious problems in the next 10-20 years.  The reason for his fear was that the new people their churches were reaching were doing little to grow spiritually, and in the next few years they would be the next generation of leaders in their churches.  Unfortunately, this problem is not limited to his denomination.

The church must do more to help its members grow spiritually.  The Great Commission  does not simply tell the church to lead people to a decision or to baptize people; it says we are to "make disciples of all the nations."

When many evangelical churches think of discipleship they immediately think of their Sunday school program, a program that is in decline in many churches.  If we expect our Sunday schools to be sufficient for producing disciples it demonstrates we have a mistaken concept of discipleship.  Being a disciple is more than just acquiring knowledge.  To be a disciple we must be transformed by the knowledge we gain.

Discipleship is more caught than taught.  Yes, we need to be taught the truths of Scripture, but we must also have the opportunity to put those truths into practice.  The challenge for the church that is serious about discipleship is helping people apply what they are learning.  Too many of our churches fail to provide those opportunities.  We call ministers to provide ministry services to the congregation who sees themselves as consumers of those services.  Clergy is then evaluated on how well they provided such services.  We need to involve everyone in ministry if we are to create disciples.

Jesus called those who would be his disciples to "Follow me."  He then took them on a journey that would shape their lives and prepare them for the ministry they would be given.  Part of that journey involved listening to his teachings, and part of it involved hands-on ministry.   This is the same model churches must follow if we are to be serious about raising up disciples.

One reason more churches do not do this is because discipleship is messy.  It's often easier for the pastor to do the ministry than it is to send out others to do it.  Besides, how can we know when someone is ready to minister to others?  Often, we can't until they are actually involved in ministry.  There is the real possibility that people will mess things up when they try to minister to others...just like Jesus' disciples did.  They couldn't cast a demon out of a young boy, and they didn't have a clue what to do when Jesus told them to feed the multitudes with a few pieces of bread and fish.  Of course, nothing matched their biggest failure when they ran away on the night Jesus was arrested.  But, the important thing is they learned from their mistakes and eventually became known as people who turned the world upside down.

As we approach 2014 I encourage you to take a look at your discipleship efforts in your church.  Are those efforts producing disciples?  Are the members in your church becoming more like Jesus, and are they involved in ministering to others?  What ministry opportunities will your church provide for those who want to grow as disciples of Jesus Christ?  These are important questions you need to answer as you prepare to lead your church into next year.

Much of this material comes from a chapter in my book The Healthy Community: Moving Your Church Beyond Tunnel Vision where you will find some more recommendations on how to help improve the discipleship ministry of your church.

Setting your goals for 2014

Those who know me are aware that I love setting goals.  With the proper focus on the right goals one can achieve far more than most believe is possible.  Without goals one is doomed to drift from one thing to the next hopeful that in the process something good will happen.  In his book Goals!: How to Get Everything You Want -- Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible Brian Tracy recommends that we do three things:  write down our goals; make plans to achieve those goals; and work on those goals every day.  This is a great strategy and one I try to follow.  The first two recommendations I have done for years.  Working on the goals every day is sometimes a challenge, but I have found that the more days I spend focused on the goals the more likely they are to be fulfilled.  That doesn't mean that the entire day is spent only on one or two goals, but it does mean that every day something is specifically done that will help make that goal a reality.

I have found that the week between Christmas and New Year's is a great time for me to focus on goal setting for the coming year.  Most of the churches I serve take a break during that week so there's usually little demand for my time which allows me to spend some time thinking about what I need to address in the coming year.  During my years as a pastor I usually found this same week to be a great time for goal setting.  If you haven't already set your 2014 goals you may want to take that week to work on those goals.

Your goals should include every aspect of your life.  You should have goals for your family life, your career, your ministry, your own self-care, and your relationship with God.  By writing down goals in each of these five areas you will find it easier to keep your life in the proper balance.  Without written goals in each area it will be easy to ignore the areas that are without goals.  Don't overdo it!  A couple of goals in each area is plenty.  That means you need not have more than 10 goals that you will pursue in the coming year.  People who set more goals than that often end up not achieving many of their goals leaving them frustrated.

Each goal should be SMART.  S - Specific, M - Measurable, A - Attainable, R - Realistic, and T - time defined.  When you write out your goal make sure it includes each of the elements.  You want goals that will stretch you but are attainable.  If they are not specific, measurable, and time-defined you won't be able to know whether or not you've reached them.  Take the time to ensure that each of your goals are SMART goals, and at the end of the year it will be easy to determine whether or not you've achieved them.

One of the exciting things I've learned over the years is that one need only spend a small amount of time each day specifically addressing the goals in order to achieve them.  Allyson Lewis explains in her book The Seven Minute Difference: Small Steps to Big Changes that taking small steps each day will enable one to make a big difference in his or her life.  What might happen if you read only 10 pages of a book a day, or got up 15 minutes earlier to do your devotions, or make just one more call to a recent guest at your church?  It is in those small daily habits that the seeds are sown that lead to success.

Do you want to see your church grow in 2014?  Set a SMART goal and develop an action plan to make that happen.  Do you want your family to enjoy a special experience next year?  Set your goal and make it happen.  Do you want to grow in some area of your personal or professional life?  With a SMART goal and an action plan it can happen.  Are you ready to get control of your finances?  You can do it.  Now is the time to set your 2014 goals.

Do you want to be made well?

"Do you want to be made well?"  This was the question Jesus asked the man at the pool who complained he had been there thirty-eight years waiting to be made well when the angel would stir the waters.  His complaint was that he had no one to help him when he needed to get into the water and others would get in the pool before him and receive their healing.  Jesus' question seems on the surface to be confusing.  One would think that if the man had been there that long to be healed that he surely wanted to be made well.  However, that is not always the case.

In my pastoral ministry I met many people who seemed addicted to dysfunction.  Married couples argue for years over the same issues, often minor ones, and never seem to be able to get beyond them to enjoy a much more satisfying marriage.  They go to marriage counselors, pastors, and others for help, but soon return to the negative behaviors that define their relationship.  Individuals remain trapped in circumstances, often of their own choosing, and do nothing constructive to change those circumstances.  An individual told me one morning that her life had never been better only to call that same night complaining about some perceived slight.  As she raged on about the most minuscule issue I finally stopped her and said, "Your problem is that you have been so unhappy for so long that you don't know how to do happy.  When things begin to go positive for you, you look for things to get upset about."

Such people are very difficult to help because their lives are defined by their problems.  If their problems were solved they would have nothing to talk about.  Even if you help them resolve one problem another one will soon appear.  It's like trying to plug a leak in the dam with your finger.  You can expect another leak to soon appear, and eventually you run out of fingers.

Of course, none of their problems are their fault.  "They did this to me, and they did that to me," is the refrain you hear over and over from people I call perpetual victims.  This does not discount the fact that some people have had very difficult lives and have been victimized by others, but there comes a time when each of us have to take responsibility for ourselves and accept the fact that we do not have to allow others to define us any longer.  Maybe the past was harmed by others, but who will be in charge of the future?  Those who want to be made well will take control of their future and make the decisions that will lead to a better life for themselves and those they love.

All of this is true of churches as well.  In 30+ years of ministry I have seen many dysfunctional churches.  I have worked with some as part of conflict mediation teams and have taken recommendations back from the teams after we've met with people in the church.  The churches that want to be made well will try to implement many of the recommendations we make.  Those that prefer their dysfunction ignore those recommendations.  They talk about wanting to be healthy, but they are unwilling to do anything to become healthy.  Such churches continue to fight amongst themselves squandering any opportunity to have a positive presence in their community.

You, your family, and your church all have the opportunity to be made well, but you must take responsibility for any healing you may need.  You have to take charge of your life, your family, and your church and make the decisions that will lead to a better tomorrow.  Some of those decisions may be painful in the short-term, but they will produce a must more positive future than if you continue to do what you've been doing.  The good news is that it is God's will for you, your family, and your church to be healthy.  God will help you overcome the past if that is needed, but you have to decide that is what you want to happen, and He will lead you into better decisions if you ask Him for the wisdom to do that.  So, the question is: Do you want to be made well?

Important changes coming to Bivocational Ministries

For a number of years I have had a website at www.bivocational ministries.com as well as this blog.  For the past two or three years I've concentrated on posting on this blog while neglecting the website.  I've simply found it much easier to write for the blog than trying to maintain the website.  Although the website does not cost a lot of money there is an expense involved.  It is time to renew the website with my server, and I've decided not to do so but to continue to post on this blog instead.  The traffic to the website hasn't been that great in the past few years so I doubt that many people will even notice that it is gone.  The regular readers of this blog seems to be growing, and my hope is that will continue.  I would be especially excited if those who do read it would decide to be a follower of the blog.

One of the things that the website did offer was the ability to purchase my books on line with a credit card.  You will now notice that I've listed my books on the lower left of the blog page.  At the bottom of the page is information on how you can order the book directly from me.  I am not set up at this time to accept credit cards so you will need to pay by check or money order.  The shipping costs of a single book is $3.00 which will need to be added to the cost of the book.  If you wish to order more than one book please let me know, and I will combine shipping costs to save you some money.  If you wish to order 20 or more copies of a single title, please let me know and I will quote you a discounted bulk rate and have the publisher ship them directly to you.

As I look ahead to 2014 I am excited about what is happening with bivocational ministry.  I already have two speaking engagements scheduled in March, and I'm hopeful those opportunities will continue to come.  Last week I had a very encouraging e-mail from a bivocational minister who had never written to me before expressing his appreciation for the support he found in this blog and in my books.  Another e-mail came from an academic leader who had finished The Healthy Pastor: Easing the Stresses of Ministry.  He said he found it very helpful and intended to recommend it to his students.  Two weeks ago I received an e-mail from a doctoral student wanting to interview me for his dissertation project which will focus on bivocational ministry.  I believe that was the fourth doctoral student that contacted me in 2013 wanting information for their dissertations.  In recent months EthicsDaily.com has posted a number of articles from this blog and has asked me to write a couple of posts specifically for them.  I anticipate that relationship will continue as well.  All of this is very humbling and reminds me how important this work is.  The numbers of bivocational ministers are growing across most denominations, and their need for helpful resources is growing as well.  I'm glad that I can help provide some of those resources.

As I've written before, change is never easy.  A few years ago I stopped writing a monthly newsletter that went out by e-mail to hundreds of bivocational ministers.  That was not an easy decision to make, nor is the one about letting the website go, but doing so allows me more time to write for this blog.  I believe in the long run that will allow me to reach the most people so it is the right decision to make.

If you find this blog helpful I would ask two things.  The first is to please keep me in your prayers. As most regular readers know, my work with bivocational ministers is only a small part of what I do.  As a judicatory leader in our Region I serve and directly relate to 130 churches plus carry other responsibilities. It is good and important ministry.  Please pray that God will grant me the wisdom I need to fulfill this ministry well.  Secondly, encourage your bivocational friends and leaders of smaller churches to become followers of the blog.  I believe there are thousands of small church leaders that would benefit from the information I try to provide, but I need you to spread the word.

Let me close this post by saying thanks to all of you who have been following the website and blog and those of you who have been reading my books.  I appreciate each and every one of you.