The power of influence

In my sermon yesterday I talked about the power of influence. My text came from the story of the woman at the well. After her encounter with Jesus she returned to her village a transformed person. She told all who would listen about her encounter with a Jewish man at the well, and how He had changed her life. Many in the village went to see Jesus for themselves, and when they returned to the village many of them were professing Jesus Christ as the Savior of the world.

But what would have happened if the woman had not shared her story with anyone? No doubt, some would notice that she was a changed woman, but they would not know how the change occurred. It was her testimony, her influence, that caused others to believe in Jesus Christ.

You and I have influence over other people. That influence may be negative or positive, but we do influence the ones with whom we come in contact. People watch what we say, they watch what we do, and those words and actions have influence.

Chances are you became a Christian because of someone's influence in your life. It may have been a parent, a spouse, a co-worker, a child or someone with whom you had a casual acquaintance, but there was something they said, something they did or the way they carried themselves that made you think there might be something to Christianity. You began to explore the claims of Christ for yourself until one day you came to believe in Jesus Christ and came to a personal faith.

Now, as Christians, we have an obligation to influence others. Jesus said we are to be the light of the world. The word translated light means a reflected light. We are to let the light of Jesus Christ shine through us so others will be drawn to Him.

Studies show that the average Christian will not lead a single person to faith in Christ in his or her lifetime. We hide our light. We only let it shine in church but not in public. As a result, many will never have the opportunity to trust in Jesus Christ.

It is a sobering thought that of all the methods God could have chosen to spread the Good News about Him, He chose to use imperfect people like you and me. It is also a sobering thought to realize that we may be the only person who can influence someone to explore the claims of Jesus Christ and come to faith in their own lives.

Who are you influencing today?

The tired pastor (Part 2)

 One reason many pastors feel overwhelmed by ministry is self-inflicted. They refuse to delegate anything to anyone. Some, in fact, resent it if someone else does something they believe they should have done.

Several years ago I talked to my Region Resource Minister about how tired and stressed I was. He listened for a few minutes and responded, "The reason you are so tired is that you are the church. You're doing everything yourself. Not only is that making you stressed, it also prevents the church from being the church." I immediately recognized how true his words were. The following Sunday I announced the title of my sermon was "Confessions of a Tired Pastor." I shared my conversation with the congregation and pointed out how God has called ministers to equip the congregation to do the work of ministry (Eph. 4). Not only did I change the course of my ministry, but our church began to grow as more people became involved in ministry.

Why is it so hard for ministers to delegate? Sometimes, we feel like it's easier if we do it ourselves. It might be, but how do we help others grow as disciples if we are trying to do everything? Maybe they won't do it like we would, but does that matter if it gets done? Or maybe we're afraid someone will mess up and not do something properly. I have to admit that I've messed up more than once. That's how we learn. We're not perfect, and we shouldn't expect perfection from others either.

For some, refusing to delegate is a reflection of what they have learned. Perhaps they grew up in a church where the pastor did everything, so they assume that's expected of them as well. Maybe they learned something in seminary that caused them to believe that some tasks could only be performed by someone ordained.

Unfortunately, some pastors will not delegate because of ego issues. They're afraid someone will do something better than they do. They crave the appreciation that others give them when something good is done, and they don't want someone else to receive that. Any minister who struggles in this area needs  counseling to learn why they feel this way.

Regardless of the reasons for not delegating, trying to do everything is a sure-fire way to feel stress and exhaustion. It is also one reason why congregations fail to grow as disciples. Discipleship is a combination of learning and doing, and if we do not let them do, they will never grow.

The tired pastor

Much has been written in recent years about the exhaustion many pastors feel. The pressures and stresses of ministry has led to many leaving the ministry and seeking other types of employment. There is no question that these pressures and stresses are real. I've experienced them myself, but I've also learned that there are some things I can do to help alleviate them.

One of the simplest is to take control of your schedule. I often joke that people who have nothing to do want to do it with you. Unfortunately, that is not a joke. Unless you control your calendar, someone else will. I recommend that at the start of each month block off times on your calendar for the things you are responsible for doing. If you are responsible for preaching each week, you need preparation time. When are you most effective in your study and sermon preparation? Many find their most productive hours are in the morning. If that is you, block out your mornings to plan and prepare your messages. You can then schedule other demands on your time at other times on your calendar.

When blocking out times on your calendar don't forget to schedule times with your family and for your own self-care. You don't want to schedule a deacon's retreat on your wife's birthday or your anniversary! Block out those days well in advance. Be sure to include time on your calendar for yourself. Remember...self-care is not selfishness, it is stewardship of a very valuable commodity...you. Take your vacations. Take your days off.

A second thing to do to help ease the stresses of ministry is to deal with interpersonal conflicts quickly. There are few things more stressful than knowing that someone is upset at something you've said or done. Address it as soon as you learn someone is unhappy with you. It may be something as simple as a misunderstanding that can easily be cleared up. There may be a legitimate issue that needs addressed. If so, acknowledge your part in that and see what can be done to resolve it.

Unfortunately, personal finances are often a stressor in a minister's life. Few ministers are paid salaries comparable to what others with our education and experience receive. Personal financial management is a course that should be taught in seminary. I would recommend that every minister take the "Financial Peace University" course offered by Dave Ramsey. It will help you get out of debt, avoid debt, build up an emergency fund and plan for retirement.

The final thing I'll address in this post is to set priorities. Some people act as if everything is a priority. If everything is a priority, nothing is. What are the top five things you need to do today? Once you determine that, you can then prioritize each of them. Number them one through five. Begin working on number one and don't stop until it is completed. Then move on to number two. You may not get to number two, and that's OK. That becomes number one tomorrow.

One thing I've learned in ministry is that there will always be one more phone call I could have made, and probably should have. There will always be one more visit I could have made, and probably should have. There will always be unfinished work at the end of every day, and I've had to learn to accept that. I'm not going to save the world today, and I'll burn myself out if I try. If that happens, then I'll be no good to anyone.  

 

The friendliest church in town

As an Area Resource Minister I often helped churches who were seeking new pastoral leadership. One of the questions I would ask in our first meeting was "Why would anyone want to attend your church?" More often than not, the question caught people by surprise. Stop and think about it. Chances are anyone who visited a church for the first time probably drove past several other churches to get to yours. So, why yours? More times than not, the answer was because they were the friendliest church in town. In fact, I've often said that I have yet to meet the second most friendliest church in any town! But, is this true?

An Area Resource Minister is often in a different church almost every week. When I retired from that ministry I was serving 133 churches. Many churches, especially in the early years, did not know me and simply saw me as a visitor. Sadly, I have to admit that many of those churches were not very friendly.

In one church no one was allowed to enter the sanctuary until the Sunday school class that met there finished. I think there were six or less people in that class. The entrance filled up almost wall to wall. My wife and I stood there, obviously people who had never been in that church before, and not a single person spoke to either of us or even acknowledged that we existed. Because I tend to be a little ornery, I was determined to not make the first move. I wanted to see how this congregation treated its first-time guests. They failed the test.

In another church the "greeters" were huddled in a corner talking to themselves when my wife and I entered. I finally approached them and asked a question which they could not answer, but I was directed to a visitor's book "somewhere around here" that I was to find and sign it. They went back to their previous conversation. Before the service started, a gentleman who did know me must have said something to them because they came marching single-file down the aisle, said they were glad I was there, turned around and marched back to the back. Not that friendly.

I could repeat many more stories like these, but what I found in 14 years of visiting different churches is that most churches are friendly to those on the inside but not so much to those on the outside. In fact, it was so bad I developed a "Church Hospitality" seminar that I presented to several churches who requested it.

Success in evangelism and church growth depends on the ability to build relationships with people. In the past, people attended a church and built relationships with the people there. Today, the relationships come first. If people do not have a relationship with someone in your congregation, they probably won't come. And if they come, they will determine with a very few minutes whether or not they will return. That determination will be based on a number of factors, but one of the major factors is the friendliness of the people they meet.

A great cloud of witnesses

This past Sunday the ABW at North Madison Baptist Church installed Linda Tilley into their Hall of Fame. It was a very moving service for all who attended. Linda passed away before I began serving the church so I did not know her, but as I heard about her faithful ministry it was easy to see why she was being recognized. Not only was she a wonderful wife to her husband, Jim, she was a faithful and dedicated worker in the church. She had a passion for missionaries and mission work. I was blessed to sit there and hear some of the things she did in the church. The Bible tells us we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, and Linda is certainly included in that cloud.

Years ago when I was serving in my first church, we took communion to our shut-ins. One day the wife of one couple asked why we did that. I explained that I had read a lot of the old records of the church, and her name seemed to be on every page. That church was there for us now because of people like her and many others who sacrificed and gave of themselves to ensure that it would be. Just because they were not physically able to attend church, we did not want them to think they were forgotten. They were still a part of this congregation, and bringing communion to them was one way to help stay connected. They are also part of that great cloud of witnesses.

Unless you are serving in a new church, there are people like that in your church's history as well. Men and women who sacrificed, who served, who supported, and who ministered in multiple ways. Some of them were out front while others preferred to serve behind the scenes. Some may have taught or led music while others made sure the flower beds were kept clean and the kitchen was clean after a church dinner. Some may have been bold witnesses who led people to Christ, and others were prayer warriors without anyone knowing. Your church exists today because of those faithful saints. They are part of that great cloud of witnesses.

If the church is there for future generations it will be because of the faithfulness of those in the church today. Today's teachers, today's music leaders, today's prayer warriors will ensure that the church is there for our children and grandchildren and generations beyond. Every Christian is called to serve in some capacity and given the necessary gifts to make that service possible. I often tell my congregation that their baptism was their ordination to minister. Each of us are called to be part of that great cloud of witnesses.

 

The changing church

 Anyone who has been involved in ministry for more than a few years knows that the church has undergone some tremendous changes in recent years. It's kind of funny because we usually hear that churches resist change, but at the same time the church has changed a lot since I began my pastoral ministry. Let's look at some of these changes.

There is little denominational loyalty today. My family moved several times when I was growing up. No matter where we moved, we found a Baptist church to attend. Few people today care what denomination the church is related to. They are looking for a church that meets their needs.

In fact, they may decide to participate in several churches. They may attend one church because they enjoy the worship service in that church. They may send their children and youth to another church due to their programs for that age group. This same family may attend a Bible study held at a different church. This involvement in different churches will be a challenge when one of the churches tries to recruit them for a ministry within that church. This cafeteria approach to church attendance will also have an impact on their financial giving. Which church will receive their tithes and offerings?

While speaking of denominations, many churches today find that they receive less support from their denomination than they did in the past. Churches used to look to the denomination for assistance in finding new pastoral leadership, but many denominations are unable to provide much help as they simply do not have the candidates to offer to the churches. Churches in the past received much of their programming material from the denomination. Today, that material either doesn't exist or is not in line with the theological beliefs of the church. Due to financial reasons, many denominations have reduced their staff which means there is less contact with their churches. This can make the church feel they have been abandoned by their denomination.

In the past a church nominating committee would ask people to accept a role in the church for the coming year. That is becoming much more difficult today as many people do not want to make long-term commitments, and they consider a year-long task to be a long-term commitment. This has forced some churches to recruit teachers and other workers for a quarter at a time or they may even only ask for a monthly commitment.

For years I've complained that Sunday school literature had been "dumbed-down" so much that a lot of it wasn't worth using. It was only recently I learned that the problem might actually be that the publishing houses have needed to reduce the preparation time for the teachers. Some publishers have conducted studies and found that the average amount of time teachers prepare for their classes is 15 minutes or less a week. Because of the busy schedules many people have today, that is unlikely to change, but it does mean that the lessons will continue to lack depth.

People's busy schedules impact the church in other ways. When I was a child, our Vacation Bible Schools were two weeks long. Today, most VBS programs last five days. I know one church who had their VBS on Wednesday evenings for four weeks. It was the only way they could get enough workers to hold a VBS. Also, the days are long past when you could count on people in the church to be in attendance every time the doors were opened. Few churches continue to have Sunday evening services, and very few have a mid-week service anymore.

Because many children come from broken homes they often spend every other week with a different parent. This often means that they will only attend your church twice a month, if that often. That makes it difficult to have any kind of continuity in your children's and youth ministry.

I'll just mention one more change. Many Americans struggle with debt. Even those who want to tithe feel they cannot because of their debt and other financial obligations. Many churches today rely on the savings they accumulated when the Builder generation was the primary generation in the church. That generation, and to a large part, the Boomer generation, was consistent with their financial support of the church. As these generations are no longer a part of the church, many churches struggle to meet their budgets. This is unlikely to improve without serious stewardship training in the church.

There are no easy answers to any of these changes. They are the reality of doing ministry in the 21st century, and one reason why so many churches and ministry leaders struggle so much. It is also unlikely that any of these will change. Rather than wishing things would go back to the way they used to be, the best thing we can do is to find ways to minister in the new reality.

Feeding the sheep

As I've shared many times, when I began serving my first church as pastor I had no pastoral experience and no education beyond high school. I only knew that God had called me to minister and that He had called me to that church. I went there with one purpose: to preach the Word of God the best I could.

A funny thing began to happen. Some people from the church I attended before I began preaching started coming to the church I now served. The pastor's theology in that church was suspect, and they wanted to go where the Bible was being preached without compromise. Despite the fact that I had not contacted anyone or asked any of these folks to begin attending my church, several families made the change and moved their membership. It wasn't long before someone accused me of "sheep stealing." 

I am the first to admit that I am not always the most tactful person on the earth. My response to the person who accused me of steeling sheep certainly reflects this! I explained that I had not stolen any sheep. It was not my fault if there was a hole in the fence, some sheep wandered over into my pasture and was fed so well that they couldn't get back through the hole.

We will always have church-hoppers. If they show up at your church you can be confident that within a short time they will leave for one reason or another. But, there are legitimate reasons for some people seeking a new place to worship.

There are churches today that have abandoned biblical teaching. Entire denominations have abandoned the clear teaching of Scripture on various issues. Anyone holding to an inerrant, infallible view of Scripture should leave such churches and find one that preaches sound doctrine. I had to leave one such church. Some of the pastor's messages were not biblically sound. I explained to him that my wife and I did not want our children exposed to such teaching so we had no option but to leave. The word later went out that we left because the choir got new robes!

No one should sit under false doctrine being taught. No one should remain in a church in which the congregation is assaulted week after week by the pastor. When I served as a Region resource minister one church member, who I knew very well, asked me to visit their church. She said the pastor's sermons beat up the members every week. I did visit and nearly walked out half way through the message. For 45 minutes he beat on the congregation. The problem was that I knew nearly everyone in that church and knew that they were a great congregation. They had done much more for a church their size than most until this pastor came. Even a work mule will quit working if it's beaten enough, and this church had been beaten enough. Several good members later left that church.

A third reason people will leave a church is that there is no reason for them to stay. There are committed Christian people who want to use their spiritual gifts to serve, and if the church has nothing for them to do, they will find a church who can use their gifts. There are people who want to grow in their faith, and if the church does not provide opportunities for them to do so, they will find a church that will. So many smaller churches complain about people leaving their church for larger ones, but if they do not offer people an opportunity to use their spiritual gifts they should not be surprised if people leave.

Jesus made it very clear that church leaders are to feed the sheep. If we are doing our job, we will lose very few people to other churches. Feed them the Word of God. Feed them with opportunities to use their spiritual gifts in service to others. Not only will you keep your sheep, you may find hungry sheep heading in your direction.