When churches attack

My doctoral project was to coach six bivocational pastors for three months and write a thesis on how coaching can benefit bivocational ministers. I asked for volunteers who would benefit from the coaching experience and received several responses from interested persons. I'm happy to report that my paper has been downloaded about 3,500 times since it was written. My last book, The Art and Practice of Bivocational Ministry: A Pastor's Guide, details what was included in my thesis in a more readable format. 

One of the pastors I coached was a woman serving a small church in the northern plains. In one of our sessions I asked her what she most wished she could do in ministry. She responded that she would like to minister to people who have been hurt by the church. I laughed at her answer and explained that if she could do that she would not be in a small church very long. She would find that there were likely a large number of people even in her small community who had been hurt by a church at some time in their lives. We spent the remainder of that coaching session discussing what such a ministry might look like.

It is a sad reality that those who claim to follow Jesus Christ who taught us to love one another can be so mean-spirited and hurtful towards others. Only God knows how many have walked away from the church, and sometimes abandoned Him, because of the pain caused by persons within the church. I have heard countless stories during my ministry. I have good friends that left the church for a season because of hurtful things that were said to them from people within their own congregations. One pastor's son admitted he once contemplated suicide because of the way the church was treating his father and their family. I have known churches who had members who saw it as their spiritual gift to point out perceived mistakes others were making in their lives driving these people away from the church and God. This has to end.

Some will argue that sin must be confronted, and I would agree, but not in the manner in which such confrontation often occurs. Too often such confrontation appears to back people into a corner waving a 97-pound Scofield Reference Bible over their heads and screaming, "Turn or burn." Doesn't Jesus model for us a much better way to confront people with their sins? I think of Him speaking with the Samaritan woman at the well or with the woman caught in adultery. I'm reminded of His words to Zacchaeus, and His willingness to eat with this despised tax collector. The only time Jesus spoke harshly to those involved in sin is when He spoke to the religious leaders.

Jesus invites us to come to Him just as we are. Once we do that He will begin the transformation process we need. If you'll stop and think about it, He did the same thing with you. I'm not suggesting that there is never a time when we should challenge people about the choices they are making. Sometimes we need to be very honest with people that some choices do not honor God, but then we will be much better off letting God take over at that point. Let His Spirit begin the convicting work in their lives which will lead to transformation. One last note...don't expect overnight changes. After all, God is still working on you as well.