Men and the church

It's no secret that many men do not like going to church. As I've traveled to various churches throughout my ministry, especially when doing denominational work, I often found many more women and children than men in those churches. I always found that odd because when Promise Keeper's was going strong they would pack out entire stadiums with men. Obviously, it's not that men do not care about spiritual things or want to be with other Christian men, but many of them are not that interested in attending a regular church service. According to Pew Research only 20 percent of men attend church services weekly while women make up 61 percent of churchgoing adults. The question churches need to answer is why is this the case?

It's not an easy thing to answer. Some theorize that it's because churches have become feminized with the decor, messages about humility and introspection and a satisfaction with the status quo. In one article a man was quoted as saying that when he visited a new church the first thing he did was to look at the curtains. That told him all he needed to know about the church. Others insist that men avoid church because they tend to be risk takers and adventurers and the modern church often is highly risk-adverse. Many more reasons are given, but everyone agrees that men are largely absent from the church, and if they are there many of them don't seem too pleased about it.

Sitting on the platform in many churches I've seen the comparison between the women singing the hymns and praise songs while their husbands stood there with their arms folded staring straight ahead. I've noticed that men tend to fall asleep during the message at a higher rate than the women, and many that are awake are more apt to be looking at their phones than paying attention to the message.

Today's church needs to do a better job of reaching men. We need to talk about the problem instead of ignoring it like the elephant in the room. We need to rethink our sermons to make sure they are relevant to today's issues and challenges. We need to ensure that we offer ministry opportunities and events that appeal to men.

Any time there is an event such as a hurricane, or tornado or significant flooding you will see church groups go the affected area to help people rebuild their lives. This type of ministry appeals to many men. They are far more likely to grow as disciples of Christ doing something like this than they would sitting in a small group for ten weeks studying about discipleship.

The church's calendar should include events that will be appealing to men. While on vacation in Florida I recently attended a church's "Beast Feast." They had a large cookout that featured alligator, venison meat loaf, wild boar and a number of sides. There was a car show in the parking lot of the church. After the meal we went inside where a number of prizes were given away that included camping equipment, fishing equipment, guns, knives, several other items and a 4X4. A speaker shared how he had given his life to Jesus Christ after surviving an attack by a mountain lion. He had been featured on Oprah Winfrey and in several publications. It was a powerful message. I estimate there may have been close to 1,000 men and boys in attendance.

Maybe your church couldn't offer something that big, but there are similar things any church can do that will attract men. One associational men's group held a turkey shoot a few years ago I attended. We had a great time. What's important is that we show men that they don't have to give up their masculinity to become a Christian or become active in a church.

Men need the church, and the church needs men. Most of all, men need Jesus Christ. Let's find ways to help men once again find both Christ and the church.