Meeting the expectations of the church

Occasionally, my ministry requires me to help a pastor and church that are at odds with one another.  I recently met with such a church.  There had been some conflict between the pastor and some in the church for several months, and it was getting worse, not better.  I was asked to meet with the church leadership, and I asked for the pastor to attend the meeting as well.  Although there was reluctance on the part of the church leaders to have the pastor in our meeting, I reminded them that if the pastor was the problem there was no reason for us to meet without him there to defend himself.  I had already heard their litany of complaints about the pastor; I didn't need to re-hear them without being able to discuss the church's concerns with the pastor.  It was a contentious meeting, and after everyone left the pastor told me he would resign.

There are a number of problems that led up to this, but at the root of all of them is the pastor's lack of meeting the expectations of the church.  Some in the church had some expectations that were rather unrealistic, and I pointed that out to them.  This is a bivocational pastor who is not going to be available to them 24/7.  However, there were some other expectations that were valid, and this pastor was not meeting these.  The church leadership had talked to him before about how important these were to the congregation, but the pastor made little attempt to meet these expectations.  The pastor saw his ministry and strengths being in one direction, and the church wanted something else, and the two could not come together.  The pastor's resignation was probably the best thing that could happen for both him and this church because I don't think the two would ever agree on the pastor's role.

Every pastor has an idea of what his or her ministry will look like.  We understand our strengths and our weaknesses far better than anyone else.  Hopefully, we are aware of our spiritual gifts and passions, and we understand that we will function much better when we work in those areas than in others.  In many congregations, there is often a need to educate the church regarding the biblical role of a pastor, and I often refer to Ephesians 4 when I'm doing that. 

Having said this, I also need to say there is a need for the pastor to clearly understand what the expectations of the church are for their pastor.  These are the things that "pay the rent."  You do these well and you can do many of the other things you want to do.  Zig Ziglar often says, "You help enough other people get what they want, you can have anything in life you want."  In this particular church, as in many smaller churches, the congregation expected their pastor to actively visit the church members, especially in times of difficulty.  This pastor failed to do this consistently.  It didn't really matter what good things the pastor may have done, the fact that he did not visit people in their time of need was a red flag to this church.  Virtually every church will have their own expectations of the pastor that are not really up for debate, and if the pastor fails to meet those expectations there will be problems.

Are some of these expectations unrealistic?  Absolutely, and this needs to be pointed out to them as I did.  You may need to bring in an outside person from your judicatory or a consultant or coach to explain that to the church leaders, but unrealistic expectations do need to be addressed.  At the same time, don't assume all expectations that are different than yours are unrealistic.  Determine as quickly as possible when you begin a new ministry what you need to do to "pay the rent" and make sure you take time to do them, and do them well.  You'll have a much more enjoyable ministry, and you will usually be given the freedom to pursue those ministry objectives you believe are important.  If you find you can't meet those expectations, then you probably need to move on and find a place of ministry better suited to you.