Dealing with personal crisis

Yesterday I preached a funeral for the father of a minister friend.  This wonderful pastor has become a close friend over the past five years, and I was privileged to be able to minister to him during this difficult time in his life.  One of the things he said more than once during this past week is that it's a lot easier on the other side.  In other words, it's easier to minister to others than to allow them to minister to you.  I reminded him a couple of times that he is not a pastor this week; he is a grieving son.  He doesn't have to be strong for anyone, and that he needs to allow others to minister to him.  Hundreds of people came to the funeral home for the viewing, and many of them did minister to him and his family.

Two years ago I was in his place when I lost my father.  In fact, he preached that funeral service for our family.  I know he's right: it is easier to be the minister than to receive ministry.  But there are times when you need to receive ministry and to welcome it as a gift from God.  Fellow ministers came alongside me to minister and to care, and there were times all I could do was hug them and cry, and that was all right.  I had led several workshops in a church an hour away from our home for several weeks and about a dozen of their members came for the viewing.  I was overwhelmed by their ministry to us during our time of need.  When Dad died I made an immediate decision that I wasn't going to try to be strong for anyone, but that I would grieve as any son would.

Some people think that ministers are somehow above the pain that other people feel during times of loss.  Sure, we know our loved ones who knew the Lord are in a much better place.  We've preached that at countless funerals.  That does not lessen the pain when it is one of our loved ones who are gone.   We grieve for them just like anyone else would.  I still drive over to the cemetery occasionally to look at Mom and Dad's stone and remember how much I still miss them.  However, I do not grieve as though without hope because I know one day I will see them again when it becomes my time to go home.

Pastors, when a crisis comes into your life don't be afraid to receive ministry from others.  Don't be afraid to grieve.  Don't be afraid to become angry at the circumstance.  Despite what some people may think about pastors, we are human beings created by God to experience all these emotions, so allow yourself to experience whatever emotions come.  And remember, Jesus promised to never leave us nor abandone us, and He will walk with you through whatever crisis may come.