Define yourself in the face of criticism

Anyone in pastoral ministry for very long will face critics. Some of that criticism may be valid. A pastor once asked me at a conference I was leading why pastors get stabbed in the back so often, and I replied that I wasn't sure we got stabbed in the back as often as we shot ourselves in the foot. Sometimes we in the ministry can do some really dumb things for which we should be criticized.

There will also be those criticisms that are not valid but instead reflect the preferences or expectations of the person making the criticism. What do we do then?

The first thing we should do is to listen carefully to determine if the criticism is valid. It might be pointing out some blind spots in our lives and/or ministries about which we've not noticed. In such cases, the criticism can be very helpful to our personal and ministerial growth. 

Perhaps one of the most important things we can do is to make sure we define ourselves in the face of criticism. If we do not define ourselves others will define us. I know who I am and what I believe God has called me to do, and I will not allow others to determine that for me. If I am criticized for something outside that sphere I will explain that what the person is wanting is not something I'm going to provide. Like Popeye used to say, "I yam what I am."

Too many pastors allow others to shape them into the molds of their expectations and wants. I believe that is one of the reasons we see so many pastors leaving the ministry. They are tired of trying to be something they are not. One can only play a role he or she is not gifted to play for so long. God called us into the ministry because of what we would bring to that role, not so we could become a clone of someone else.

When I left the church I had pastored for 20 years I told the congregation not to look for another pastor who preached like I did, who visited like I did and who ministered like I did. If God had wanted another me there He would have left me there. So many churches have a favorite pastor of the past, and they want to shape their new pastor into the image of that person. It never works, and when it doesn't work it will lead to criticism. "Why don't you do such-and-such like Rev. _____ did when he was here?" Because I am not Rev. _____.

Criticism can help the minister grow, but it can also help the critic grow when you take the time to define who you are and what you bring to the table as the minister. When the critic learns that he or she cannot define you it can be a breakthrough for the whole church.

In an earlier post I encouraged the reader to "Know thyself." You first have to know who you are and what you are called to do, and then you can begin to help others know the same things about you. This can lead to a much healthier ministry for you and the church.