David Kinnaman, in his book You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church . . . and Rethinking Faith, finds that there are six reasons why young Christians drop out of church. I found these to be very thought-provoking.
The first reason is that they find many churches to be overprotective. Young people are often entrepreneurial in their thinking and seek to find new ways of doing things. In contrast, many churches are quite risk-averse. These churches prefer the status quo in their thinking and ministries.
A second reason is young people consider the church to be rather shallow and boring. They believe the church seeks proof texts and familiar slogans in contrast to doing the more difficult work of thinking more deeply about faith and the real meaning of following Christ. They crave the challenge of thinking more deeply about their faith but do not find that challenge in many churches.
Many young people believe the church is antiscience. They have seen the advances science has made in improving the lives of many people, and yet what they hear in some churches makes them think science and faith are incompatible.
Young people seek freedom, and they believe the church is too repressive. This is especially true in the area of sexuality. The church needs to do better in offering healthy perspectives on human sexuality rather than focusing on the "thou shalt nots."
A fifth reason young people have left the church is they find it too exclusive. They have been raised to be open-minded and tolerant. Too often they have seen the church exclude people who do not fit a certain mold. Furthermore, young people struggle to understand why the Bible teaches that Christianity is the only way to God when so many of their non-Christian friends seem so spiritual.
Finally, young people often find the church is not a safe place to express doubts. They seldom, if ever, hear the older members of their churches express doubts about their faith so they believe it is not safe to do so. The church must do a better job of hearing their doubts and answering their questions.
Kinnaman goes on to address each of these reasons in detail in succeeding chapters. I find it to be an important book for churches to study if they want to keep their young people.
I once worked with a church seeking a new pastor. In my first meeting, as I always did, I asked the committee what they wanted in their next pastor. They said they wanted a pastor who would grow a youth group in the church. To this day I am not sure why I said this because I had never said it before, but I responded, "Why do you think you can grow a youth group when you couldn't keep the young people you had?" I think I wanted to point out to them that if the church did not do some things differently, a new pastor would not be able to grow and sustain a group of young people in the church.
Are any of the above issues found in your church? If so, what needs to change?
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