People who know my story know that I was a bivocational pastor of a small, rural church for 20 years. They also know that a few years into that ministry I was diagnosed with clinical depression. Prior to that diagnosis I had spent four years attending a Bible college, working full-time in a factory, driving 100 miles each way to attend school, pastoring the church and being a husband and father. It's a wonder the depression didn't kick in sooner than it did!
Although the church allowed me two weeks vacation each year I never took but one. I never took a Sunday off and was very poor at delegating any ministry responsibilities to anyone else. I had always said I would rather burn out than rust out, but it wasn't until the depression hit that I realized how stupid that was. Either way you are out!
I was on medication and in counseling for a year before recovering from the depression. It was a difficult year, but it was also a learning opportunity. I learned that if I didn't take care of myself there would come a time when I couldn't care for anyone else. I learned that self-care wasn't selfishness. It was stewardship of a valuable resource...me. I learned how important it was to take time for myself and my family.
After the depression ended I requested three weeks vacation and a few years after that I asked for a fourth. The church never hesitated, and I took every one of them. I found some hobbies I enjoyed doing and began to set aside time for them. I no longer felt I had to attend every church meeting. If I began to feel stressed I sought to find the stressor and address it before it created problems.
Pastors are often better at caring for others than they are in caring for themselves. This is true of both bivocational and fully-funded pastors. Most of us enter the ministry to serve people, and we often do that without considering our own well-being. Many of us have no one to talk to about our issues, our struggles, our pain. Too often we don't even talk about it to our spouses because we don't want to burden them down with our problems.
What can pastors do to practice good self-care? I addressed this in my book The Healthy Pastor: Easing the Pressures of Ministry. Let me share just a few things from that book.
Everyone needs someone to talk to. This includes pastors. Some pastors have fellow clergy with whom they can discuss some of their challenges. Others have regular appointments with therapists or pastoral counselors. I was contacted earlier this week by an individual asking if assigning chaplains to churches would be helpful. I assured him it would but suggested that in many cases it might be better to assign a chaplain to an association or a group of associations to ensure that pastors of smaller churches would have access to a chaplain. Whoever you use must be able to maintain confidentiality, they must believe in you, and they need to be able to offer spiritual direction when needed.
Secondly, pastors need to take time away from ministry. As a Resource Minister I encouraged every church I served to provide their pastor with four weeks vacation each year. That will cost them very little in actual financial cost, but it will greatly benefit their pastor and his or her family. Furthermore, I also advocated for every church to grant their pastor a three-month sabbatical every seven years. That was an even tougher sell than the four weeks vacation. As I explained to many church leaders, their pastor is on call 24/7/365. No one else in the church has that kind of expectation placed on them. Pastors need time away to stay fresh and healthy.
Of course, it does no good for the church to offer that time away from the church if the pastor doesn't take it. That was one of my problems, and I paid dearly for it. If you think the church won't survive if you're gone then you have a very poor opinion of God. When pastors told me they couldn't be away from the church too much I reminded them that cemeteries are full of indispensable people. Chances are your church existed for years before you came, and unless the Lord returns, it will continue to exist long after you're gone. Do yourself, your family and your church a favor and take time away.
Third, develop an interest outside of ministry. After recovering from my depression I bought a bass boat. My wife and I fished in bass tournaments and spent many enjoyable hours fishing in a nearby river and area lakes. After I sold my boat I bought a motorcycle, and we spent hours riding and enjoying the outdoors. One vacation we took an eight day ride to South Dakota and toured the Badlands and saw Mt. Rushmore and Sturgis. What a great vacation! Find something you will enjoy doing to get your mind off the pressures of ministry for a time.
Pastors, you are too important to the Kingdom of God to not take care of yourself. I don't ever want to go through depression again, and I can assure you that you don't either. When God called us into the ministry He also called us to be wise enough to realize that the ministry is not a sprint but a marathon. We need to be in it for the long haul, and that will only happen if we practice good self-care.
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