Monday, October 28, 2019

Open, honest communication

Almost every troubled church I've been asked to help address their problems had one issue that was at the foundation of their problems. As I would talk with various groups and individuals within the church many of them would point to this problem: There was poor communication throughout the church. People didn't know what was going on within the leadership groups, and, as a result, they didn't trust their leaders. Never forget: When people do not know the facts they will make up their own facts which are often worse than the real ones.

In one church the trustees refused to share anything they were doing with the deacons. There was a major turf war going on in that church with the congregation caught in the middle. The pastor was being bounced around between the two groups like a ping-pong ball and lacked the leadership ability to resolve the problem.

Another church had a series of short-term pastorates. One finally admitted to me before leaving that the leadership had asked him to resign, and if he didn't tell the congregation they would give him a severance package. He followed their wishes. When I confronted one of the leaders about it he admitted the church had a lot of secrets. The church also lost a significant number of their membership. People aren't stupid. They know when things aren't right. So do church guests. Some churches wonder why their guests never return. It's because when they were there the first time they could sense there were problems.

While some churches intentionally withhold information or give out false information, many others simply do a poor job of communicating within the congregation. There's nothing intentional or diabolical. It's just poor leadership, but it will eventually lead to problems.

When working with churches in which people feel information is being withheld I always tell them that it is now impossible to over-communicate. If  leaders in such churches are not getting sick of giving out the same information over and over they probably are not communicating enough. To regain the trust of the congregation it is imperative that information be given out continuously through as many avenues as possible.

Not only is it essential that information be given out, there must be an environment within the church that allows such communication to be given without fear of reprisal. Not all information that should be shared with the larger church body is going to be well-received. An environment that encourages open communication and open conversation and discussion must exist or such communication will create more problems. Creating such an environment is the work of the leadership within the church.

Let me close this post with an example from outside the church world. As many of you know, I am also an auctioneer. Right now the prices that most furniture is bringing is very soft as are the prices for a number of items. When I explain that to potential clients some become frustrated, and even angry, with me. The sentimental value they have for some of their personal belongings is often much higher than the prices they will realize if they sell those items at auction. I have lost a number of auctions this year because I've communicated honestly with these people. Sometimes, they decide to donate their items to a charity, but most of the time they find another auctioneer to have their auction. I always tell these folks that I would rather they be disappointed in me now than after the auction when I give them a check for much less than they expected.

The same is true in the church. Sometimes the information we need to share with our congregations is not well received. I would rather the people be upset with the information than with me for withholding information from them. At least now, we can begin to discuss how to address the information that's been shared.

A church is only as healthy as the secrets it keeps. Open, honest communication is an essential element in a healthy church. Keep those lines of communication open and the trust factor in the church will remain high.

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