Sometimes our critics are right

The other day I was reading an article on how to respond to the critics any leader will encounter.  As I was reading I had a thought: sometimes the critics are right.  It's easy as a ministerial leader to want to write off our critics as controllers, troublemakers, uninformed, toxic, mean-spirited, etc, but sometimes they are right.  Sometimes we do preach too long.  Sometimes our ideas are stupid.  Sometimes we haven't thought through all the potential ramifications of our suggested change.  Sometimes we haven't visited people enough.  Sometimes we do ignore the senior saints in our congregations.  Sometimes our worship services miss the mark.  If we ignore our critics when they are right we do so at our peril

Early in my pastoral ministry a member of our church, who was the only person in our rural church at the time with a college degree, came to me voicing her concern about my poor grammar.  This occurred over 30 years ago, but I still remember her comments.  She said that the people in our church were not bothered by it, but she was afraid that it could harm my future ministry if I went to another church.  It was embarrassing, but I knew she was right.  What she did not know was that I had recently enrolled in a Bible school and would be required to take two semesters of English grammar to graduate.  What neither of us could have known was that a couple of years after taking those classes I was asked to speak at our local high school graduation.  This was our daughter's graduating class, and I did not want to embarrass her.  This was also the school from which I graduated, and I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of my former teachers.  The message went great, and I believe part of it was because I had finally learned at least some basic rules of proper grammar.

At the time of that conversation neither of us also could not have known that I would write books, and without at least some knowledge about the rules of grammar none of them would have been accepted by any publisher.  I must be honest enough to admit that each of them have been edited by the publisher and the grammar fine-tuned to a much higher level than I can do, but at least I can get the basics right!

Neither of us knew that day that I would pursue an education that would include a master's and a doctoral degree requiring numerous papers and a thesis to be written.

Neither of us could have known that day that a time would come when I would lead conferences for various denominational bodies, speak in chapel services at universities, or be the keynote speaker at leadership events.  God has opened ministry opportunities that neither of us could have known about that day 30 years ago as we stood in the sanctuary of that small, rural church.

What if I had become angry at her for caring enough to confront me about a problem area in my ministry?   What if I had just ignored her believing she just thought she was better than anyone else.  What if I had refused to accept her comments as constructive criticism intended to help me become a better minister?  If I had not listened and recognized the truth in her comments I doubt that any of the later opportunities would have been available to me.

I recently sent her an e-mail asking if she remembered that conversation.  She did, and she said she was quite concerned about approaching me about my poor grammar.  I thanked her and listed all the things in this post that I've been able to do because she cared enough about me to point out a weak place in my ministry.

Criticism is never easy to take, but sometimes our critics are right.  We'll make a big mistake if we ever forget that.  The next time someone criticizes something you've done at least stop for a moment and determine if there is even a grain of truth in what they're saying, and then do something about it.

And...please don't write me pointing out the grammatical mistakes in this post.