Living a balanced life

This evening I finished reading Richard Swenson's book In Search of Balance: Keys to a Stable Life.  I thought it was good but not as good as his book Margin which I've read two or three times.  Any time I read his books, or one on the same topic, it leads to a time of self-examination.  I am a Type-A personality and probably a workaholic, and I know that.  I enjoy working.  My children tell me I'll never retire because I always have to be doing something, and they are right.  I look at sleep as giving in.  I doubt that I am different than most bivocational ministers.  We could not do all the things we do without some of these things at work within us.

After confessing all these things are true about me, I also have to admit that Swenson is right.  We were not created by God to live unbalanced lives.  Each of us have to find ways to build margin into our lives if we want to enjoy the life God has given us.  Is it possible to do that if one is a Type-A workaholic?  Perhaps a better question for the purposes of this blog is this: Can a bivocational minister build margin into his or her life and live a balanced life?  I believe the answer to both questions is yes, but we have to be intentional about it.  Over the past few years I have tried to very intentionally build margin into my life, and I believe it is paying dividends.

I've learned to say no to some good things.  There was a time in my life and ministry when I would not tell someone no.  I've since learned that I don't have time to do everything, and even if I did, I'm not qualified to do everything.  I am much more intentional about how I invest my time these days, and I say yes to things only if they help me accomplish the ministry God has given me and the goals I have set for myself.  If I can refer someone to another person better qualified than me for some task I will do that, but if not I can live with simply telling the person that I am unable to do what they've asked me to do.  Some of you need to learn to do that as well.

I have de-cluttered my life as much as possible.  I used to receive a lot of magazines that were often stacked up to be read later.  I ended up thowing those stacks away because later never came.  I also canceled those subscriptions.  One day it dawned on me that if my life wasn't impacted negatively by not reading these magazines it wouldn't be harmed by my not receiving them at all.  It was also a good way to cut expenses.  I've thrown away clothes that haven't been worn in years, and at a recent yard sale I sold some really nice clothes that I can no longer wear because of the weight I've lost.  People told me I should keep them in case I gained the weight back, but why prepare yourself for failure?  I bought new clothes, and I don't intend to need the larger sizes again.  I've thrown away files that haven't been needed in years, but I had been holding on to then just in case....

The families of too many bivocational ministers get the short end of the stick, and I decided early in my ministry that would not happen with me.  In one of my books I noted that I determined that my family would not be sacrificed on the altar of ministerial success, and I've taken steps to ensure that did not happen.  I still schedule a date with my wife each week.  Because her schedule often changes week to week I now wait until her schedule comes out, and I write her name in my Day Timer on her day off.  I arrange to do as much work as possible while she's at work so when she comes home we can spend those hours together.  It's nice to sit under a shade tree or on the back deck to talk or read a book together for an hour or so each day.  We enjoy sitting down to at least one meal together each day to talk about the day.

Fewer Americans each year get sufficient exercise, and for many years I was among that number.  I now maintain a gym membership and go 3-4 days a week for 60-90 minutes each day.  You don't have to do that.  Walking would give many people more exercise than the average American gets.  For me, I have found that if I try to exercise at home, I don't do it.  I guess I need the extra motivation of spending money on a gym membership to get me to exercise, but, hey, it works.

None of these things that I do will happen without intentionality on my part.  I have to schedule them into my days and schedule other things around them.  I also intentionally schedule down time on my calender.  I may block out a half day a week for reading.  If I have a free Saturday I look for a nearby auction to attend.  I enjoy going to auctions and find them relaxing.  You can build margin in your life.  You can live a balanced life, but you have to be intentional about it.  You also have to remember an important lesson I learned long ago:  You get done what you spend time doing.

Each of us have 168 hours a week.  You can spend them any way you want, but you can only spend each of them once, and you can't save any of them for the next week.  In that 168 hours you will accomplish what you spend that 168 hours doing.  If, like the average American, you spend 35 of those hours watching TV then that is what you will get done.  While others such as employers may control some of those hours, ultimately you are in charge of them.  If you spend 80 of those hours at your work you have chosen to do so.  You can claim that you have to do that if you want to keep your job, but still you have made the choice to do that with your time.  That is 80 hours a week you can't use anywhere else.  If you feel that your life is out of control and you are burning the candle at both ends, I encourage you to spend two weeks and track very hour of your day.  Write down everything you do as you go through your day for two weeks and see if there are some ways you could make better use of some of your time.  If you think you can't do that for two weeks, I did it for four years (I told you I was a Type-A), and it was a life-changing experience.  I found that I was spending a lot of time that I could have better invested somewhere else.

To me, that is what living a balanced life is about.  You can spend your time or you can invest your time.  You can't do both.  When you are intentionally investing your time in the things that matter most you will find that life is richer and much more fulfilling.