Expectations for the pastor

Meeting expectations is always a tough thing for many pastors to do.  Although many churches have official job descriptions for the pastoral position, that only tells part of the story.  In a church of 50 people there will be 50 different job descriptions in people's minds.  If someone comes to a church from another church they will likely expect their pastor to operate much like the ones they knew in their previous church.  Even if people are still attending the church they grew up in it is likely at some point in their life there was a pastor who had a significant impact on their lives, and they will compare other pastors to that person.  Some in the church have their own agenda for what the church should be and do, and they fully expect the pastor to sign up for their agenda.  That becomes a problem when there are competing agendas in the church.

Perhaps worse that trying to meet the expectations of the members, many of us in ministry struggle to meet the expectations we place on ourselves.  The pastor who grew up in a home where he or she was told they are only as good as what they do will spend a lifetime trying to prove to their parents they were worthy of their love.  Pastors who bought into the seminary professor's insistence they must spend X number of hours in sermon preparation or they will be a disappointment to their congregation and to God will surely struggle on those weeks when those numbers of hours simply weren't available.  More than one pastor has confided to me their disappointment in their own prayer life.  Many go into the ministry believing they will be able to change the world only to find out most weeks the only thing that gets changed is the color of the suit.

I am convinced trying to meet unrealistic expectations, either imposed by others or by ourselves, is a major reason many abandon the ministry within a few years after completing seminary.  What can a minister do to reduce the stress of such expectations?  Let me simply list a few.

1. Ministers must know their areas of giftedness and strengths and work within those areas as much as possible.  While it is not possible to avoid working in areas of weakness all the time, most ministers will find ministry much more enjoyable when working in the areas where God has uniquely equipped them.  As often as possible, delegate your weaker areas to others who are better able to do them.
2. Communicate those areas of strengths and weaknesses to others, especially to your congregation, so they can assist.  I tend to not be a great detail person, and I was very fortunate to have lay people in the church I served who were. 
3. Work on your own expectations.  If you struggle with poor self-esteem it will show itself in the expectations you place on yourself.  Many times, ministers are their own worst enemy.  Ministers who need to be needed will find it hard to say no to anyone, except their own families, and that can cause a multitude of problems.

I discuss these in more detail in my book The Healthy Pastor: Easing the Pressures of Ministry.  You may want to read this book to learn more about how to deal with unrealistic expectations as well as several other stresses common to ministry.

Matching the pastor and the church

One of the frustrations I have in my work with churches is the number of times that problems occur because the church and pastor are not good matches for one another.  Although this should seldom occur, it happens all too frequently.  When a good church and a good pastor are not good matches for one another both pay a price.  The church loses ministry opportunities it could have enjoyed if it had not been spending so much time trying to make a bad match work, and the pastor usually ends up leaving the church feeling as if he or she has failed in ministry.  The reason it is so frustrating to me is that in most cases it could be avoided if both parties really understood God's vision for their ministries.

In my first meeting with pastor search committees I always ask them to tell me the vision of the church.  The best response I usually get is someone reads a vision statement from a piece of paper they had in a file.  Most of the time I get blank stares until someone finally admits they don't have one.  My next question then is, "If you don't know where God is leading you as a church how do you know what ministry gifts your new pastor will need to help you get there?"  More times than I can count someone will respond that they are waiting for a new pastor to come and lead them.  Guess what?  Quite often that pastor tries to lead them where they don't want to go, and that's when denominational leaders receive a call saying the church is having problems with its pastor.  If the church has a clear understanding of the ministry God is leading them to embrace, and they share that with the candidates the potential pastors can then compare that to their ministry strengths and determine if they will be a good fit.

That often does not happen.  Too many churches can't stand to go long without a pastor and they call the first one who seems to have a good personality and can preach a decent trial sermon.  Too many pastors are so desperate to find a place to serve they are willing to take the first one that keeps them close to family, or offers a better financial package, or fits them culturally.  The church and pastor both announce to the world that God has brought them together to do ministry, and three years later it appears that God has changed His mind because they are now trying to separate from one another as quickly as possible.  And we wonder why the church in America is in the trouble it's in.

Let me conclude this post with two quotes.  The first one comes from the Bible: Without a vision the people perish.  Approximately 5,000 churches in America close their doors every year, and it is safe to say that none of them probably had any sense of vision other than survival.  God has a plan for every church.  He has a vision for every church, and a church that identifies that vision and seeks to live it out will not just survive but thrive.  That vision will engage the congregation, bring hope to people who have lost hope, and expand the Kingdom of God in ways many churches cannot imagine.  When the gifts and passions of the people are in alignment with God's vision great things will happen.  When a pastor's ministry gifts and skills are a match for that vision he or she and the church will usually enjoy a long, fruitful ministry together.

The second quote is associated with John Maxwell: Everything rises and falls on leadership.  If the pastor is not a good match for the church it is almost a certainty that the church will wander around in the wilderness confused and unable to enter into the ministry God has for it.  If the pastor is trying to lead the church one way that is in alignment with his or her gifts, and the church has a different destination in mind, there will soon be a parting of the ways.  Ministry opportunities will be lost, some forever.  It is essential that before a church begins the process of seeking a new pastor that it goes through some type of discernment process, and much prayer, to clearly identify a vision that unifies the congregation and captures the commitment of everyone in the church, and that it seeks only those persons whose spiritual giftedness and skills sets will be a good match for that vision.

Awakening

This past Saturday our Region again hosted Awakening, a ministry designed to help our smaller churches learn new ways of doing effective ministry.  We offer Awakening at three different sites throughout the Region.  This was the third of seven sessions, and it focused on helping our churches learn their core values, bedrock beliefs, and begin a visioning process.  We worked through each of these with the pastors and lay leaders who are part of the Awakening team for each church and encouraged them to return to their churches and repeat the process with the entire congregation.

If you've read my books you know how passionate I am about a church having a clear, unifying vision.  With such a vision a church is better able to minister with a sense of purpose, it can make decisions easier, it reduces conflict, it helps identify what should be included in the church budget and calendar and what things do not need to be included, it guides the pastor in his or her duties, and it encourages lay people to become more involved in ministry because the vision will have been shaped by their gifts and passions for ministry.  Despite all these, and more, advantages of having a vision most smaller churches still cannot articulate any sense of vision for their ministries.  No matter what they may claim, these churches are content to drift along with no sense of purpose and complain about the lack of anything happening in their ministries.

Any church, regardless of size, that is serious about wanting to enjoy a more effective ministry must have a God-given vision for that ministry and be willing to pursue that vision.  Vision is not something that is determined by a 51 percent majority vote nor is it something that comes about as a result of consensus.  A God-given vision must be discerned, a process that can take some time but one that is well worth it.  An important part of that discernment process is identifying the core values and bedrock beliefs of the congregation.

Why is this so important?  The core values and bedrock beliefs of any organization or individual shapes every decision they make.  This is who the organization or individual is at their very core, and to deny their core values and bedrock beliefs would be to deny their identity.  Jesus said that out of the abundance of our hearts our mouths speak.  What is on the inside will eventually appear on the outside.  The same is true of a congregation.  Any vision that a church may have must be congruent with its core values and bedrock beliefs or it will be of little value becasue it will not be a true vision for that church.

The difficulty churches often have in determining its core values and bedrock beliefs is that they often want to list what they think those values and beliefs should be.  I once had a church list "youth" as one of their core values until someone in the group challenged that by asking, "If youth is a core value in our church, why am I the only one here willing to work with the youth?  Why do you all turn me down every time I ask you to help me with a youth project?"  That led to some interesting conversations that the church needed to have but had avoided to that point.  On the other hand I had another church include "cliques" as a core value.  They recognized that it was a negative, but they also recognized it was true of their church.  I appreciated their honesty and the discussion it created.  Most of the churches I've worked with would not have been that honest.

Church pastors can lead this self-evaluation, but it is often better for someone from the outside to lead it.  There is a process I use for this evaluation that I think is very effective.  If you think this could be helpful to your church, please let me know.

Walking through life

I have to admit that I tend to be a Type-A personality.  Some would argue that should be a Type-AAA.  I seldom slow down for very long nor will you find me in one spot for a long period of time.  I prefer doing a wide variety of things during the course of most days, and I've been like this most of my life.  That's probably why being a bivocational pastor was so easy for me.  I could keep busy doing lots of different things.

Most years I struggled on vacation trying to slow down long enough to enjoy myself.  I can remember a number of vacations on the beach when I stayed wound tight as a banjo string before finally loosening up a little on Wednesday.  The vacation my wife and I enjoyed last week was different.  I never felt stressed at all and never felt like I needed to be doing something.  I played golf our first day there and never had any real desire to play again the rest of the week.  I just enjoyed spending the day with my wife sitting around the pool reading or walking the beach or driving around the community looking at the changes since our last time there.  It was really one of the most relaxing vacations I ever had.

That slower pace has continued this week as I returned to work.  Rather than running from one thing to another I've taken a slower pace.  Although I needed to get some things done today I met an individual who is dealing with some issues and needed to talk.  I gave that person time.  Soon after lunch I had a phone call from a church leader who wanted to talk about some issues at the church he attends.  We spent much more time on the phone than normal as I sensed he was feeling some pain with the things that we discussed.  We scheduled another phone call for tomorrow so he could update me on his thoughts.  A pastor called to schedule a workshop for his church for early next year and there was no sense of a need to hurry through the call to get to the next activity.  I've enjoyed this slower pace, but now I'm wondering how many times in the past I have rushed past a need to accomplish the next thing on my list.

I'm someone who enjoys a to-do list, and nothing makes me any happier than to have everything checked off at the end of the day, but could that have prevented me from seeing someone God had put in my path who needed my assistance?  I hate to admit it, but probably.  A pastor I respect once told me that the most important place he could be was where he was at, and the most important person he could talk to was the one he was with.  At the time I thought he was just trying to excuse his reputation for often being late, but now I think he understood something I didn't.  People are more important than appointments or to-do lists.

It's funny that I have preached sermons on how some of Jesus' most important events occurred as he was walking and encountering people, but I have seldom walked through life.  Somehow I never connected the point of the message with my own tendency to run through life.  It reminds me of an old Andy Griffith episode when a visiting pastor talked about people's tendency to rush through life and never stopping to enjoy it.  As Andy and Barney discuss it after Sunday lunch they remembered how the community used to enjoy a Sunday afternoon listening to the community band.  They decide to see if they can do it that again that Sunday.  They find the bandstand needs some repairs so some people begin to do that.  They also find that the old band uniforms are torn and dirty so some other people begin to repair and clean them.  The community band hasn't played together for years so they need to practice.  The entire day is spent with everybody running around trying to do something relaxing.  The finally have everything ready for the concert when the visiting minister comes by.  They invite him to stay and hear the concert, but, of course, he has to run to catch his plane for his next appointment.  Like me, the minister had a great message but failed to connect it with his own life.

It won't be easy, but I'm going to try to walk through life a little more.  I want to see if there have been some ministry opportunities I've been missing because I've been too busy to see them.  I want to take a little more time to look at what God is doing in our world.  I want to enjoy family and friends a little more than in recent years.  I want to build margin in my life so when emergencies come, and they will come, I'll be ready for them.  I want to be able to hear God when He speaks in a still, small voice as He leads me to new adventures.  What about you?

When a church needs a bivocational pastor

Many denominational leaders are reporting the same trend: a number of their previously fully-funded churches find they must go to a bivocational pastor.  Often, the change is due to decreasing finances or rising insurance costs.  One church I serve in our judicatory made that move in 2011 and told me they could afford to pay a good salary, but they could no longer afford to provide medical insurance.  So far, the shift has worked fairly well in that church, but that is not always the case.

About a year ago I was asked to speak to a congregation that had told their pastor he would need to become bivocational or seek another place to serve.  I was to address the changes the church should expect as they made the transition.  A large number of the congregation attended the meeting and asked good questions.  The pastor had found other employment and decided to remain at the church in a bivocational role.  For several months the transition went well, but recently things are not going so well at the church.  I'll explain why in a moment.

There are at least two things that congregations must address when transitioning from having a fully-funded pastor to a bivocational pastor.  One is self-esteem.  It is not uncommon for a church to wonder what they have done wrong or why God has seemingly abandoned them when they can no longer have a fully-funded pastor.  I once spoke at a church out west whose sanctuary seated 600 people.  They now had 60 in attendance, and the morale in that church was at rock bottom.  Many in the church saw themselves as failures and could do little but speak of "the good old days."

I try to encourage churches to not see themselves as failures or to believe God has abandoned them.  God uses small churches to accomplish great things.  Rather than focusing on what they have lost these churches would do much better to focus on the new opportunities they now have.  Instead of spending the bulk of their offerings on pastoral salary and benefits these churches now often have additional money that can be used for ministry.   More resources for ministry means that more people outside the congregation can be touched and introduced to the Kingdom of God.  At every workshop I lead for bivocational ministers I remind them that the call to bivocational ministry is not a lesser nor a greater call to ministry; it is the call God has placed on their lives and is equal to every other call.  I would say the same to churches that are moving from being fully-funded to bivocational.  Your church is not less important to God and His Kingdom and becoming bivocational may mean that new ministry opportunities are about to open up.  Look for them.

The second issue deals with expectations.  Churches sometimes find it easier to move to a bivocational salary than to shift their expectations of the pastor.  It is not fair to ask the pastor to find another job to supplement his or her salary and then continue to expect the same work from the pastor.  This is the problem that occurred in the church mentioned above.  For the first few months the congregation picked up several of the responsibilities the pastor had been doing, but as the months went by that started happening less and less.  That was one of the things I cautioned the church about, and I thought they understood that when I left, but they evidently forgot.  The pastor and his wife told me the church was now expecting him to do almost everything he was doing when he was fully-funded.  I doubt he will remain at that church must longer.

One of the strengths of bivocational ministry is that church members often become more personally involved in ministry.  They understand the pastor has a job just like they do and is not available 24/7, so many of them step in and fill more ministry roles.  Actually, this is a scriptural way for the church to operate.  Eph. 4 tells us the role of the pastor is to equip the saints to do the work of ministry, and when this model is followed good things often happen.  Bivocational churches must move from a pastoral care model to a congregational care model.  The pastor may not always be available to minister to someone in need, but there is usually someone in the congregation who can do that if they understand they are called to do so just as much as the pastor.

For more on this and other aspects of bivocational ministry you may want to read The Bivocational Pastor: Two Jobs, One Ministry.

How many of your first-time guests are now involved in your church?

In yesterday's post I discussed some of the problems I noticed with the motel we stayed in while vacationing last week and how they relate to some of the same problems I sometimes see in churches.  I mentioned that the motel looked "tired" when compared to the more modern motels in the area, there was inconsistent cleaning of our rooms, and the free breakfast left a lot to be desired.  Today I will address the biggest shocker that completely surprised me.

Shortly after getting into our room I decided to check the Internet connection with my laptop.  I was able to immediately gain access to the motel's wifi and had an excellent connection.  When I clicked on my homepage another screen appeared informing me Internet service was $24.95 per week.  I have stayed in countless motels across the country and have never paid for Internet service.  I thought that charge went the way of the dinosaur.  My wife asked if I was going to pay for it, and I responded absolutely not.  We were on vacation, and if I didn't have it I wouldn't be tempted to do any work.  Besides, my phone provides me with Internet and e-mail access so I could still check things if needed, but that doesn't allow me to accomplish much work.  One day while sitting by the pool I was reading my NOOK when an elderly lady asked if I had wifi connection.  I explained I did not, and she responded she could not believe the motel actually charged to connect to the Internet.

There are at least two problems here that I see.  One, nobody likes being nickled-and-dimed.  Even your cheapest motels advertise free Internet service; there was no reason this motel feels they have to charge for it.  I felt this made the owners look cheap and greedy.  We were on vacation so it wasn't absolutely necessary we had Internet service, but what if I had been in town on a working trip?  I would have had to pay the fee or move to a different motel that offered free wifi.  Since the motel has a 72 hour cancellation policy it would have cost me more to move than to pay the fee, and the owners of the motel know that.

The second problem is that the owners either do not understand or care about how important it is for younger people especially to be connected.  I'm 64 and I would judge the woman who asked if I had wifi was maybe 10 years older than me, and it was important to us.  Imagine how younger people who are connected 24/7 would feel about being forced to pay additional for Internet service.  I can't see how this policy does anything to attract younger clientele to the motel, and I would think that would be a group they would want to reach.

Many younger people also do not understand why churches aren't more involved with modern technology.  Being a visual generation they struggle to understand why many churches do not use video technology in their services.  They wonder why there is no way for them to connect online with the church or their small group.  Studies continue to show that churches that offer online giving opportunities often see an increase in their finances.  That's because younger people are used to paying their bills online and do not understand why they can't give to their church the same way.  The churches that make that option available will be the churches that will be more apt to reach the younger generation.

I believe every church regardless of size should have a webpage, a blog, and a Facebook account if they are serious about wanting to attract younger people.  They probably won't read the newsletter you mail out, but they would likely read your blog.  They are unlikely to pick up the bulletin from last Sunday to check on the time of a church event, but they might attend if they are reminded on Facebook.  Churches should not claim they want to reach young people if they are not willing to communicate with them in methods they use.

Now that I've addressed the problems I noticed about the motel, will I stay there again?  Maybe.  See, like someone who has been a member of a church for a long time, I have some history with that motel.  I don't know that any of these issues are deal-breakers for me.  My wife and I did talk about checking out some other motels in the area before we make reservations again, so we'll have to wait until that time to know whether or not we return to that same motel.  But I do know this, if I was driving into Panama City Beach for the first time looking for a place to spend a few days I would drive past that motel to one that looked fresher, and if I was looking online for a place to make reservations and was considering this motel but did not see something promoting free Internet I would continue looking until I found one that did.

Forget what you keep telling yourself about how inviting your church is to outsiders.  How inviting is it really?  If you want a good way to gauge your answer, how many first-time guests have you had this year and how many of them came back for a second visit?  Finally, how many of them are now regularly attending your church.  When you answer those questions you will be able to accurately answer the one about how inviting your church is.

What might keep guests from returning?

Yesterday I mentioned that my wife and I had been on vacation at Panama City Beach.  While staying at a motel we've stayed at numerous times before I began to notice some issues that are often found in churches.  Some of these issues are likely to go unnoticed by regular members of the church, but guests to the church will notice them and can deter them from returning to the church.  I want to look at some of those issues in today's post.

If I could describe the motel in one word it would be "tired."  Several years ago a major hurricane damaged many of the building on the beach front, so there have been a number of new high rise motels and condominimuns built to replace the ones that were damaged.  Compared to those new structures the motel where we stayed just looked tired.  It needed fresh paint.  The rail on our balcony had large areas of rust and needed painting.  The pool had a different color of paint around its edge, and there were places where the paint had chipped away.  Many of the signs around the pool were faded and difficult to read.

The legs on the stove in our room had large rust places that had eaten away at the enamel.  The mitred corners on one picture frame in the living room had come apart and needed to be reglued.  While our room was comfortable, it too looked a little tired.  I really believe that if someone came to PCB and was looking for a place to stay based on the appearance of the property, most would pass by the motel where I stayed for one that looked fresher and more modern.

As one who is in a lot of churches in a year's time I can say that some of them look tired as well.  A fresh coat of paint, maybe some new carpet, and some quality landscaping would do wonders for many church properties.  When churches are allowed to look tired it sends a message to outsiders that says the people lack pride in their facilities and just don't care any more.  If the members don't care, why should the non-members?

A second frustration we had was with the maid service.  Quite frankly, we need little in the way of maid service.  Our rooms are usually as clean when we leave as when we arrive.  All the maids have to do in make the bed, empty trash, and replace towels and coffee.  That seemed to be a challenge.  Only one day the entire week did we have our coffee service replaced.  (That wasn't all bad because the coffee they use isn't that great anyway, but it's the principle.)  Only one day were all three trash cans emptied.  Every other day one trash can was left full.

One of the top things first time guests at a church check is the cleanliness of the facility.  They will notice the cobwebs in the corner that the church members never see.  They will see the overflowing trash cans in the bathrooms or the lack of towels to dry their hands.  They will wonder why anyone would purchase toilet paper that is only two inches wide and so thin you can see through.  If the church isn't clean it again sends negative signals to guests that this church doesn't care.

The last thing I'll mention in today's post concerns the free breakfast.  Most motels offer similar free breakfasts, but this one didn't even meet the minimum standards found in most motels.  Their offering consisted of yogurt, bagel, and two types of muffin, coffee, and juice.  It never changed all week.  They also posted a notice that each resident was to only take one serving of breakfast.

Your church may or may not offer refreshments before or after the worship services, but if you do go beyond the minimum.  Serve good coffee, not the mud found in most motels.  Don't cut up your donuts into fourths, and fire the donut police.  Who cares if someone takes three?   Offer healthy choices as well.  Have fruit or fat-free yogurt as alternate choices.  Here is one area where it really does cost just a little more to go first class, so don't scrimp.  Either offer refreshments with excellence or don't offer them at all.

I'm sorry I have not touched on anything very spiritual here, but these are the kinds of things that determine if first-time guests return or not, and that decision is made within minutes of driving on the church property.  Before the choir sings or the minister preaches, most first-time guests have already decided if they will return or not, and that decision is based on things such as the appearance of the facility and the hospitality they find once they arrive.  Tomorrow we'll look at a couple more issues.