There were times during my 20 years as the bivocational pastor of our small church that I felt very alone. Working a full-time job, pastoring a church and going to Bible college while trying to be a husband and father left little time for anything else. There certainly wasn't time to attend clergy meetings or denominational events. I was fortunate to have Area Resource Ministers who were always ready to answer my questions, but I also knew they had other churches to support as well. It would have been nice to have had someone else to talk to, someone to bounce ideas off of and sometimes have someone else to vent to.
I'm afraid our spouses end up being that person, and that's not fair to them. Many of them already feel like they are living in a glass house with everyone judging their every move and comment. Dumping our stuff on them isn't fair and doesn't make for a healthy relationship.
Although I was never reluctant to talk to my Resource Minister, when I entered that ministry after leaving my church I learned that many pastors are afraid to share too much with their Resource Ministers. They are concerned that if they reveal their frustrations and fears it might affect their future ministry. Perhaps the Resource Minister will be less likely to assist them in finding a new place to serve if and when that time comes.
Every minister, and especially bivocational ministers, need safe people to talk to. We need people who do not know us, our churches or our situations. We need people who will not judge us when we admit our weaknesses. We need a coach who can come alongside us to both encourage and challenge us.
When I began my ministry there were no life coaches or ministry coaches. Now, it is not uncommon for CEOs of large corporations to have an executive coach as one of the perks offered by the company he or she leads. Many people today hire financial coaches, exercise coaches and life coaches to help them grow and move forward in their lives. As is often the case, the church trails the rest of society in this, but we are now seeing more and more ministers having coaches to provide the listening ear they need. And these coaches are doing more than just listening. They are assisting these ministers in their own personal growth as well as the growth of their ministries.
My last book, The Art and Practice of Bivocational Ministry: A Pastor's Guide, came out of my doctoral dissertation on "Coaching Bivocational Ministers for Greater Ministry Effectiveness." In that project I coached six bivocational ministers in the US and Canada and reported on the impact it had on those ministers. For the book I added four more ministers I had previously coached and reported on those experiences as well. Each of the ones I coached was required to write a two-page report on how the coaching experience impacted their lives and ministries. Each of them reported very positive changes.
Coaching is done at times convenient to the person being coached. Often it is done over the telephone which means they don't have to take time to drive to some destination to meet someone or sit through a seminar that might or might not address their needs. As part of my coaching training I had a coach and found it to be an experience that enabled me to grow as a person and a minister. Since then, I've enjoyed coaching other persons in the hope they would experience the same thing in their lives.
If you would like to know more about how having a coach could benefit you, please DM me so we can discuss it further. I do not coach too many at one time so if you think you might be interested I encourage you to contact me soon.
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