When you are uncertain about your call

As part of my doctoral project I coached a number of bivocational pastors.  One of the individuals in that project was struggling with his sense of call to the ministry.  When he first entered ministry he had no doubts that was God's plan for his life, but after a very difficult staff position and a divorce from a person who did not want to be married to a minister he was struggling with his calling.  As we began our coaching relationship he wanted to explore his sense of call and discuss the possibility of becoming a bivocational minister.

One of the assignments he agreed to do was to talk with three people who knew him well and find out what they thought about his call to ministry.  He did this, and all three people affirmed his call to ministry, but they also cautioned him to return slowly to ministry until he completed some other  tasks he had begun.  Despite this affirmation, he continued to struggle throughout our coaching sessions with his acceptance of that call.  He had been deeply wounded by two churches and a failed marriage, and these wounds were creating huge doubts in his mind about whether or not God could ever use him in the ministry.  If you want to find out how this ended you can read about this, and several other coaching relationships I've had with ministers, in my book The Art and Practice of Bivocational Ministry: A Pastor's Guide.

There are few things more damaging to one's ministry effectiveness than when one begins to doubt God's calling on his or her life.  Ministry is difficult, to say the least, and some churches can be extremely difficult to lead.  During those times when it seems that nothing we do makes any difference it becomes quite easy to question whether or not God really did call us into the ministry.  At the same time, it is often our conviction that he did call us to our ministry that enables us to continue on despite the difficulties we face.  That is why I believe it is essential to remind ourselves from time to time of God's calling on our lives

Few people supported me when I announced I believed God was calling me to the ministry.  My wife had her doubts initially but soon became one of my biggest supporters.  I learned a few years after the fact that my father became very upset at my going into the ministry although I never learned why.  As I understand it, he made some comments in the presence of one of my aunts who read him the riot act!  Years later he became a very effective deacon in the church I pastored.   During those times of little support I had to rely on what I believed to be God's call on my life.

Pastoring a church as a bivocational minister was difficult enough, but when God began to challenge me to pursue an education in addition to being a bivocational minister, that difficulty went to a much higher level.  Again, it was only my conviction that this is what God was calling me to do that gave me the strength to continue my education while working and pastoring a church.  Every time I have ever considered giving up I have returned to the call on my life that has shaped so much of my life.  This is what you must do as well.

Some reading this post may be close to abandoning God's call on your life.  The pain of ministry may be nearly overwhelming right now.  You may be struggling with church issues, personal issues, or family issues that makes walking away from the ministry sound very appealing.  I would encourage you to review your original calling.  Think back to the time you first felt God calling you to the ministry.  What were you doing?  How did that calling come to you?  How did it make you feel?  Have you felt God releasing you from that call?  When I have asked these questions I've always felt empowered to continue in the ministry simply due to the power of that call on my life.  I think the same will happen to you.