The purpose of a home

In my devotional reading this morning I found these words: "The primary purpose of a home is to reflect and to distribute the love of Christ.  Anything that usurps that is idolatrous."

As I re-read those words several times I wondered how many times I failed to reflect and distribute the love of Christ to my family.  As bivocational ministers we usually have many things demanding our attention, and it becomes easy to give our best energies to outside demands and overlook or neglect the needs of our own families.  Just as the plumber's home often has leaky faucets because he is busy fixing everyone else's leaks, we can be so busy being a pastor to others that we fail to be a pastor to our loved ones.  As I often explain in workshops, the church I served had many pastors before me and will have many follow me.  I will be the only husband my wife has, and I will be the only father my children know.  Do their needs not deserve my best energies?

In recent weeks I have heard from a number of people who are feeling a sense of call to bivocational ministry.  Virtually every one has admitted that their primary concern is for their families.  My resposne to them has been to affirm that concern because it is valid and important to consider.  My advice to them is that if they do enter bivocational ministry they have to make their families a priority from the beginning.  The church that calls them has to know of this priority and be on board with it.  I have known some churches that believed that their needs should be more important than the minister's family, and in my opinion such churches do not deserve a pastor.  When contacted by ministers in such churches my advice has always been that if the church is not willing to change that mindset they needed to leave as quickly as possible as it is toxic to their families and to their own well-being.

The value you give to your family is not only important to them; it is also an important example to others.  People need to see examples of healthy families.  Notice, I didn't say perfect families.  As we all know quite well the families of ministers are no more perfect than other families.  We have our challenges, our failures, and our disappointments just as all families do.  But, such struggles do not prevent us from having healthy families that are able to work through those challenges in love and respect and commitment.  That is a much needed example to both the unchurched and to the churched world.  It is also a way by which we can reflect and distribute the love of Christ to those outside our families.

"The primary purpose of a home is to reflect and to distribute the love of Christ.  Anything that usurps that is idolatrous."  Reflect on these words today.  You may want to write them down and put them on your desk or some other place where you will frequently see them.  Most importantly, look for ways to live them out this week and in the weeks to come.