I recently heard a pastor admit to his congregation that one of his biggest regrets in ministry was that he had not gone deeper with God. This pastor is a very popular minister of a mega-church who appears on television daily. He has authored several best-selling books. Most of us in ministry would believe that he enjoys a great ministry that has been blessed by God. Yet, he admitted this major regret in his life.
His admission struck home with me because I have often felt the same. While not having enjoyed the ministry this brother has, my ministry has been blessed of God. For a country boy raised on dairy farms, I have enjoyed a ministry that I could never have imagined. Still, I often feel much regret that I have not gone deeper with God than I have. After 40+ years in ministry I feel I have merely scratched the surface in my knowledge of God and my walk with Him.
Recently, I have begun a study of the attributes of God as part of my devotional reading and study. Maybe one day I'll attempt to write a book on my learning, but whether I do or not, this study has reinforced my regret of not having gone deeper with God. So often, in my reading, I need to stop and worship as I see elements of God's attributes I never knew existed. I begin to reflect on how these attributes have impacted my relationship with Him even when I didn't realize it.
The book I am currently reading is Divine Attributes: Knowing the Covenantal God of Scripture by John C. Peckham. As I read what he writes about God's love I had to stop reading and begin to worship. Oh, the depth of His love for us! In the previous book I read, God the Father Almighty by Millard J. Erickson, he wrote how the omniscience of God influences His love for us. Erickson points out that even though God knows everything about us, He loves us unconditionally! Most of the love we receive from others is conditional. Perhaps they would not love us if they knew everything there was to know about us. But, God does know everything and loves us anyway! If that does not lead you to worship Him I don't know what would.
Not only do I regret not personally going deeper with God, I regret not leading the churches I've served in a study of God's attributes. While I have addressed some of them in messages occasionally, I wish I had led the congregation through an intentional study of His attributes. My belief is that many in our churches do not understand His attributes either and how those attributes can impact their lives. Just as reading about these attributes has led me to worship, I believe a study of these attributes would enhance our congregation's worship as well.
I can't undo the past, and I will have to live with the regrets I have, but I can do something about the future, and I am. I plan on spending at least the rest of this year studying the attributes of God in an effort to go deeper in my walk with Him. I want to know God better. I want to go deeper, and I pray you do as well.