Suicide

A leader in our community took his life last week. Although we are in a small community, our local newspaper recently reported that we average about one suicide each week. Various groups, including the ministerial association, have been addressing the problem, but so far that figure seems to be holding steady.

I did not know this leader so I know nothing of his life, his faith, or the reasons he decided to end his life. I would assume he was carrying some pain that he no longer felt he could live with. The problem is that suicide does not end the pain. It merely transfers it to other people: family, friends, other loved ones. I've heard several who knew him question whether there was anything they could have done to have prevented this. There is little anyone can do if a person is determined to end his or her life.

After a major stroke my mother attempted to end her life several times. She could never give a reason why except to say that she was tired of living with the limitations she had as a result of the stroke. Once, her counselor called to tell me that she felt Mom was suicidal again. We had her admitted to a hospital until the doctors felt that had passed.

Many pastors serve churches in which family members have lost loved ones to suicide. Occasionally, I hear ministers announce suicide is the unforgivable sin as the one who ends his or her life cannot ask God's forgiveness. This not only reflects very poor theology; it also brings tremendous pain to those whose loved ones ended their lives.

How should pastors address suicide? The first thing is to learn as much as they can about the causes of suicide. As they talk to members of their churches they need to be watching for signs that the person may be considering this step. Such warning signs are not always apparent, but many times they are. Mom's counselor could not tell me that Mom was going to attempt suicide, but she could tell me that she detected signs that she was considering it again. Learn those signs.

The second thing is to develop a good understanding of the grace of God. Is our salvation based upon our asking forgiveness for every sin or is it based on what Christ did for us on the cross? If it is based on our being forgiven for every sin, we are all in trouble because I doubt that anyone asks forgiveness every time they sin.

The third thing is to talk about suicide. We need to let people know there are alternative ways of dealing with the pain in their lives, and that suicide is not the answer. Don't be afraid to address it in sermons and Bible studies. Have it as a topic in a small group. Ask someone qualified to do so to host a recovery group for persons who have lost loved ones to suicide.  Work with other area churches and mental health leaders to host a community-wide workshop on preventing suicide in your community. There are many things you can do. Decide what will work best in your community.